Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

N athan was staying.

Not Nathan was thinking of staying or Nathan might stay, but Nathan had looked him right in the eye and said, “I’m not leaving.”

He’d never been so fucking happy and so scared in his entire goddamn life.

They had dogs together.

Apparently they had cats together too, especially now someone had found the mama cat. She was getting a check-up at the moment and was about to be fixed.

Her name was going to be Sally. He didn’t ask Sophie why, since everyone else had a genderless name, or whatever.

Even all his stuff was out of storage and here at the house. Nathan was staying.

So Ames was going to figure out a way for his man to have a restaurant. He’d been thinking on it, and he’d been talking hard to Sophie, who seemed to be a little mad at him for ruining Nathan’s career. As if he was asshole who’d done Nathan dirty.

He was gonna figure this though, damn it.

He wasn’t sure how. He had no real idea how restaurants worked. But surely between the Chiaras and all the rest of them they could figure this out.

Today though, today they were going to put up a Christmas tree.

He had spent the last hour making a space for it, and Sophie had started stringing lights around the windows. Nathan was making chili and cornbread. The house smelled amazing, and it had never been so bright and sparkly.

He was proud of them—all of them, even him—because this was going to be Sophie’s first Christmas without her mom, and his first Christmas with Sophie, and Nathan’s first Christmas at the ranch, and Sophie’s first Christmas at the ranch, and his first Christmas with the Christmas tree in so many years he couldn’t count.

Wow.

This one. This was a big one. And Ames wanted to make it right.

He wiggled the tree in its stand. “Is this better? Does this work? Is this straighter?” he asked Nathan, who leaned over and looked.

“Oh, much better.”

“Yeah, cool.”

Those simple words shouldn’t make him feel like a million bucks, but they did. They made him feel solid. Somehow the cowboy in him needed that, to know he was solid as rock.

He hadn’t been sure that it could happen outside of being on the back of a horse, but it seemed that it could.

Ames tightened the tree stand, remembering all the years he had done this for his mom, crawling under the tree because he could fit.

Really, when they thought about it, it hadn’t been all that many years. He’d left home at sixteen, and he’d gone back a handful of times since, and none of those had been good.

He guessed he ought to be sad about it a little. It was what a person was supposed to do, right? Be all nostalgic about what had been and obsess about all the traditions that were not his to have, but, well, they were decorating in rainbows.

Rainbow lights.

Rainbow ornaments.

There was even this silly rainbow tree skirt to hide the stand.

He’d let Sophie pick it all out, and by the time they were done, it was like rainbow Christmas had exploded in the shopping cart.

Sophie came over to him, hand on his shoulder. “It’s going to be the perfect tree.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“This is the first Christmas tree that doesn’t…that doesn’t feel like a lie since I was a little girl.” Her voice was low and soft, and she spoke so damn fast.

It killed Ames to hear the shame she was hiding in there.

“Everything felt like a lie. And I know—” Her voice trembled, and tears filled her eyes. “I know that momma’s gone. But I feel like… I feel like I get to live now. Does that make me bad?”

Did it? Hell if he knew, but if it did, then they were all bad.

Fuck it.

“No, ma’am.” He shook his head. “Makes you human. It means you’re home with the folks that want you.”

And that was that.

He had the man he loved, his sweet Sophie, the Chiaras, and the horses and critters and his bit of land. Everything he needed in this one spot, and he knew it.

Sophie grabbed him, and her storm of tears was fierce, but fast, and Nathan met his eyes over her head, a sad little smile on his lips.

Ames hugged her tight. “We got you, kiddo. I swear it. We’re all here, and this is going to be the best, most real Christmas.”

“It is.” She hiccupped, but he could feel the storm passing. “Love you, Uncle Ames.”

“I love you too, kiddo.” He’d learned, though it was a recent thing, to give the words freely. People needed them. Shit, he needed to say and hear them. He might be feeling his way blindly in all this, but the words were damn important.

Nathan held up the wild, sparkling rainbow star that lit up. “Tree-topper first?”

“Yep. That way we don’t have to tilt the tree once we get everything on it.” He would swear Sophie had bought out both the Walmart and the Target in Santa Fe of ornaments… He patted Sophie’s back. “You ready for this, kiddo?”

She sniffled, nodding. “I am.”

“Good deal. Kleenex up, and we’ll get lights and garland on.” The kittens and mama cat were still confined mostly to the kitchen, so he didn’t think he needed to gate off the tree, but they’d see. The pups might get a little too rambunctious for it.

Though they were both training up a treat considering they were half hound…

Sophie grabbed a tissue, blew her nose, then got back to work, humming with the Christmas music they had streaming.

“You okay?” Nathan asked softly.

“Yeah. Yeah, let me get that star on, huh?” He smiled, going in for the casual kiss. He loved being able to touch and love on Nathan at will.

“That sounds perfect,” Nathan smiled at him, rubbed their noses together. “Chili is ready when we are too.”

“Mmm…” Nathan’s chili was the best, and he got to doctor it with onions and cheese and Fritos. Whatever he wanted.