Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

A mes sat with Nathan by the firepit, the stars bright as hell overhead, the night clear and a little chilly like it always was up here, even in the late summer.

They’d forsaken the folding chairs in favor of piling the blankets on the ground and wrapping one around them. They’d had marshmallows on the heels of Nathan using up the rest of their supper supplies on a spectacular meal of grilled sandwiches and a weird salad that was an amalgamation of every vegetable he wasn’t going to use to make a ranch hands scramble tomorrow morning…

Life was damn good.

He kissed the side of Nathan’s neck, squeezing with the arm he had wrapped around Nathan’s waist.

“A man could get used to this, baby.”

“Eventually, you’d miss Sophie and your bathroom,” Nathan shot right back, snuggling in. There wasn’t any heat in the words, or any real tease, for that matter. “I have to admit, it is beautiful out here.”

“It is. And I’ve had a ball.” It wasn’t just the scenery or the time off, though. It was Nathan. They’d learned each other these last few days. They’d made love endlessly, talked about movies and music and where food history and Old West lore intersected.

He didn’t only desire Nathan. Ames liked the man, dammit. He was a trouper, and he was funny as hell. And kind.

Ames wasn’t sure he wanted to go home.

“Mmm. I kinda do miss those things, but I’ve been damn happy here with you.”

Nathan hummed, leaning harder into him. “I’ve had a great time.”

“Yeah? I bet you’re ready for a shower.”

“Mmmhmm. And maybe a cinnamon roll.”

“You do love your cinnamon rolls.”

“I do.” Nathan looked up at him, expression serious as a heart attack. “I feel the same way about you.”

One of his eyebrows shot up. “I’m sweet and biteable?”

Nathan whacked his arm good and hard. “Don’t make me hurt you. I just mean that I think I might be in love with you too. I have to admit I don’t know if I want to be, but that doesn’t have anything to do with you. That has to do with me being scared that I’m a giant screwup, that I’m not good at this relationship.”

Christ on a pogo stick.

What was he supposed to say?

Ames could go with what he was feeling, which had a lot of jumping with joy and grabbing and squeezing and kissing hard involved with it.

He could go with what he was thinking, which was maybe he shouldn’t get involved with some guy who wasn’t sure if he was ready to get involved and who was fixing to run away and move to God knows where.

Unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be, Ames was a cowboy down to the bone, and he’d never met a single cowboy on Earth who went with what he was thinking over what he was feeling. Not even once.

So he went with what he knew.

He turned to stare Nathan right in those eyes shimmering like sun through dark honey. “I got you, baby. You let go, trust that I have your back, and I promise that I’ll never let you hit the ground. I’m a cowboy, balls- deep, and you got my word, you’ll never regret loving me.”

That must have been the right thing to say, because what he got was this big old grin and a kiss that liked to burn him to the ground.

He held on, because the whole world was spinning and dropping away, and the only solid thing to hold onto was Nathan. He kissed right back, because how could he not? He’d never said anything like that to a man before. Had never felt it.

He sure felt it with Nathan, and it scared him half to death.

Nathan clung to him, and he had a feeling they were sharing the same rush of emotions, the same crazy kaleidoscope of adrenaline and exhilaration.

When they broke for air, Nathan searched his face, lips parted, a little swollen. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t make any promises, because I’m terrible at?—”

“Nope.” He put his fingers over Nathan’s lips. “I made my big speech. You say, ‘Okay, cowboy.’”

“Right. Okay, cowboy.”

“Good job.” He chuckled at them. He guessed everybody who was in love was an idiot. It was part of the job.

Hopefully it got better, but he wasn’t sure. The bosses sure still seemed to be stupid over one another, and he guessed, he hoped, he could be just as lucky.

“So what happens now?” Nathan asked.

He shrugged, kinda confused. “What do you mean?”

“Do we tell Sophie? Do we tell anybody? Am I allowed to touch you? Or do I have to pretend like I don’t like you? Do I get to spend the night every now and again? You know, what happens next?” Nathan rolled his eyes. “And nothing is an inappropriate answer. I mean, nothing could happen next.”

“Don’t be dumber than you have to be. Of course, we tell Sophie. She lives at the house, she’s gonna notice. She also is not going to be surprised.” He didn’t know he was supposed to tell the boss. Did it matter? Bigger question was, did it matter to Nathan? “And you’re welcome to spend the night any time you want. You could even put a toothbrush over at the house.”

“Cool. About the toothbrush, I might do that because you know—I’m really in lust with your hot tub.”

He snorted. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge.”

“You think, Sophie’ll be okay?”

“I think she’ll be over the moon. You’re her hero.”

Nathan smiled and shook his head the tiniest bit. “That’ll change. First time I tell her she did something wrong, or she makes something that’s truly nasty, I’ll be that asshole she used to work with. When she gets into culinary school, I’ll be that asshole she used to work for because it’ll give her street cred.”

Ames couldn’t stop his growl. “You’re not an asshole.”

“Not in the kitchen, no. I don’t have that rep.” Nathan rolled his eyes like dice. “But if I’m dating you and she’s sort of my mentee, my intern. That could get weird.”

“Families work together all the time.” Didn’t seem weird to him at all.

“Yeah, but I’m not family yet.”

“We’re working on that part. I think it’s going to happen sooner or later, whether we want it to or not.”

“You don’t want it to?” He hadn’t meant to put that hurt in Nathan’s eyes.

“What? I mean, yes, but what am I gonna do when you go back to Austin or to Dallas or Hawaii or wherever you have a restaurant?”

“Well, you could come with me.”

Ames shook his head. “Oh honey, I belong here. I’m a cowboy.”

“They do have cowboys in Texas, I am reliably informed.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t want to talk about this.

Simple fact was that Ames loved his job. He loved his job as much as Nathan loved his, and whether or not this land was his, this was the place Ames could spend the rest of his life. He had his own place. He had his own horses. He had access to the best of everything on the ranch. Sophie was here. He didn’t want to go.

“We don’t have to talk about this. You said you wouldn’t let me hit the ground, and I believe you. That’s enough.”

It was going to have to be enough for both of them, he supposed.

“Do you dance?” Nathan asked.

“What?”

“Dance. You know, two-stepping. Do you dance?” Nathan motioned toward the house. “There’s a radio in there. It has batteries, I checked. Do you wanna dance?”

“I do.” Ames nodded. He did. He really did. So he stood, and then hauled Nathan up alongside him. “Go get the radio. I’d love to dance with you.”

God knew it was better than talking.