Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

“ A mes!” Sophie came pelting across the drive from the big house, the rainbow laces in her sneakers flopping.

“Hey, kiddo. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Sorry!” She skidded to a halt. “You remember that thing you asked me to ask Kase last week?”

“Uh-huh.” He was not going to let the summer go by without getting a dog, and he really did want to get one for Nathan, who was turning out to be a decent type. So he’d asked Sophie to talk to Kase about who might have some puppies up in their neck of the woods.

“He had a friend who has border collie bloodhound mixes.”

“No shit?” That was a mix and a half.

“Nope. Says when they’re twelve weeks, they’ll be ready to go to homes, and he would want the shots covered.”

“That’s exceptional kiddo. I’ll talk to him in the morning.”

“Cool.” She twirled.

“You about ready for the big Fourth thing?” It was less than a week away.

“I am! I’ve practiced all the things. Brisket sliders with homemade pickles. Tex-Mex eggrolls. And artichoke and mushroom tostadas.”

“Wow. That sounds amazing.” He tried not to lift his arm and sniff his pit. He’d worked his ass off in the heat all day.

“Thanks. Do you want to come to dinner with me and Nathan tonight?”

“Uh…” That caught him flat-footed. “Sure. I need a shower.”

“Cool. Can we cook at your house?”

“Our house,” he reminded her, gently.

“Right. Can we cook at our house?” She wrinkled her nose. “His kitchen sucks. I saw it through the door.”

“Through the door?” he asked.

She nodded. “He says that it’s not really cool to have a teenager in his space, just the two of us. He says this way, there’s no chance of impropriety.”

“Of course.” Nathan had no real kitchen or dining room to speak of. And Nathan had never been to their house. “You gonna show him how to get there?”

“Uh-huh. And help him carry food. He shopped a lot.”

“Ooooh.” He chuckled. “Okay. I’ll make sure we didn’t leave a ton of clothes on the washer in the kitchen.”

“You rock. Thanks. You want—half an hour?” She was beaming at him.

“I do. I really need to scrub myself up.”

“That’s cool.” She grabbed his arms and jumped up and down.

He wondered if he’d ever been that energetic.

“We’re going to get a puppy!” she whispered. “I’m so excited!”

“Are you now? Are you still going to be excited when you’re cleaning up poop every day?”

“Uh-huh. Because loving on it will be amazing.”

“I’m looking forward to it too. It’s been a while. Okay, I’ll go clean up. You two come on.” Anticipation curled in him. He was getting to like when he was able to spend time with Nathan.

It was fucking weird, how fascinating the chef was. Maybe it was how kind he was to Sophie. Maybe it was the sadness in Nathan’s weird light brown eyes. Maybe it was the way he wielded that big knife.

That was oddly hot.

He raised his hand when Kase waved at him, nodding when Kase made the call-me motion with his hand to his ear. So he dialed Kase when he got in the truck.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Boss. I hear you have a line on puppies.”

“I do. What happens if Nathan leaves without it?”

“Then I take both of them. I love dogs.”

“Fair enough. You want males or females—they have three of each available.”

“One of each.” He would see which one appealed more to Sophie. He liked both, though his last dog had been a female. But that way there wouldn’t be too much rivalry. And he’d get them fixed.

“I’m on it. She was over the moon. You’re a brave man, Ames.”

“Don’t I know it?”

“You decide Greene isn’t out to starve you to death?” Kase teased.

“I did. We called a truce, and I bought him a pizza.”

“Ah, good choice. Glad to hear it. Sophie is fond.”

“She is,” Ames agreed. “They’re cooking me supper.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I’m jealous. I hear Sophie’s perfecting chicken katsu.”

“Chicken what?”

“Fried chicken with rice and this soy and ketchup-y sauce. I had it in Hawai’i. So tasty. You’ll like it.”

“Cool. I love fried chicken.” And he was learning to love Nathan’s weird sauces. “Thanks, Boss. For everything.”

“You got it,” Kase said, laughing. “Go get clean.”

“God, yes.” He smelled like death walking, and he headed home, tickled as shit.

He’d actually hired one of the cowboy’s partners to clean the house every other Friday, so the place was sparkly. He managed to jump in the shower and get clean, redressed, and pour himself a Coke before Nathan pulled up in his little red SUV.

“Ames! We’re heeeeereeee!” Sophie laughed, carrying a bunch of grocery bags up to the kitchen.

“Let me have those. Nathan, you need help?”

“Just hold the door?”

“You know it. Come on in.” He took Sophie’s bags and let her get the door for Nathan, so he would feel safe and welcome.

“Thanks! Happy Friday.” Nathan seemed easier in his skin this Friday, casual and simple in jeans and a Led Zeppelin T-shirt, the bags under his eyes lessened. Ames’d bet his bottom dollar someone had snuck in a nap.

“You too, man. I’m glad to have the weekend off.” He was gonna sleep all day tomorrow. Okay, not really, but he did think he was gonna be a bum and potter around the house and maybe watch movies. He’d make pancakes for breakfast.

“Me too. I’m thinking about running to the farmer’s market. It seems promising, if small.” Nathan grinned. “I’m craving fresh tomatoes, radishes, and I need some seeds for sprouting.”

“This time of year, there’s a great bunch of fruit and veg at the market in town.”

“Can we go, Ames?”

“Sure, kiddo. The best time is pretty early, maybe seven-thirty, eight?” Ames poked through bags. There were chicken breasts, Panko, soy sauce, cabbage, sesame seeds…ooh, ice cream.

He did love ice cream.

He grinned. “Fridge or freezer?” It depended on the plan for the ice cream, really. Milkshakes could be fridge.

“Is there room in the fridge? This is a rock from being in the deep freeze.”

“Yep.” He and Sophie ate with the cowboys a lot. They also ate a lot of pancakes and such. They only got enough fresh fruit and veg that wouldn’t go bad in a week.

“Excellent. How goes it, man? Good week?” Nathan carefully organized his groceries, acting as if this was important, something worthy.

“Not bad at all. It was hot out there, but we got a lot done. How are you doing?” He watched, fascinated, Nathan’s hands pulling his gaze.

“Good. We’re ramping up for the party. Sophie had a couple of ideas she’s running point on.”

“She told me. I like the sound of the eggrolls.”

“Yeah. She got the idea from some old menus I had, but she’s totally putting her spin on it.”

“I am. I’m going to make them tomorrow. And maybe three or four or five more times before the party…” Sophie gave him a half-grin.

“Practice makes perfect.” Ames had to laugh. “And I’ll eat any and all attempts.”

“All right. Mise en place, first, hmm?” Nathan smiled at Sophie. “Are you doing proteins and sauces or sides?”

“Sauces and sides! I want you to do the protein.”

“I’m on the chicken then. Go ahead and start putting your cabbage slaw together. Don’t forget to taste.”

“Yes, Chef!”

He watched Sophie shred cabbage and carrots, chopping a jalapeno superfine and making a dressing of rice wine vinegar, soy, sesame oil, and sesame seeds. The last thing she added was green onions. He was super impressed.

“That smells amazing,” he told her. He couldn’t believe how they moved around the kitchen, working together like they’d been doing it for years.

Nathan was banging on chicken breasts, heating oil, creating these little stations with flour, milk, egg, and breadcrumbs.

“So where did you learn to make katsu? Is that how you say it?”

“It is.” Nathan shrugged. “I had a friend who was part Japanese. He taught me. It’s so crispy. Just totally yummy.” He got a bright grin. “For me? It’s the sauce. I love this sauce.”

“Tell me about it.” He wanted to hear Nathan talk food.

“It’s sweet and savory—think a Japanese barbecue sauce. There’s a ton of umami in it. It’s good on pork, chicken, shrimp.” Nathan put rice in a bowl and ran water in it and left it on the counter.

“What does that do to the rice?”

“Sophie?”

“Oh, Nathan told me rice is gross. It can have arsenic, even! So you always soak it and then rinse it until it runs clean.”

Nathan nodded. “It also helps to make it fluffy. It’s nicer all over.”

“Huh. I had no idea about the rice. I usually microwave a bag.”

“Heathen.” Nathan winked at him, that smile so damn surprising. Nathan’s smile lines were hot.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah—Have you ever smelled burned rice?”

Nathan’s laughter filled the room. “A thousand times, buddy. Get you a microwave cooker—cheap and easy.”

“Okay. We can do that, huh. Sophie?”

“Yep. Nathan showed me on Amazon.”

“Cool. We’ll grab one then.”

“I told him about the gross Spanish rice.”

Ames groaned. “I have no food secrets. That stuff was foul.”

“Yeah. Sophie knows how to make a tomato-based rice, and we’ll work on an annatto-based one as well.”

“With peas and carrots, like Tequila’s,” Sophie said.

“Cool. You know I love that.” He could watch Nathan cook all damn day. It was kinda nuts, how fast his opinion of the guy had shifted.

It was the confidence. He’d thought it was arrogance, but now he thought it was passion, confidence, and joy.

This man knew what he was doing, and he loved it.

“Here, Ames. Stir.” Sophie handed him the slaw and some tongs, and he stirred while she made sauce. It felt very much like a family night meal, all of them working together, which was so rare for him.

The rice was started, the chicken went into one of the bowls, and he went to turn on some music and set the table.

“Can I ask a question?” Sophie asked. “Why… I mean, this is like a family. This is like what people want. How come I didn’t have it?”

Damn. That broke his heart. He glanced at Nathan, who was suddenly busy with chicken, head down.

“Your mom had it rough growing up. I think… Maybe if your dad had lived, she might have been happier. And you might have. But she was really unhappy, and it’s hard to share yourself when you’re like that, kiddo.”

And his mom was heartless—he didn’t understand why, and maybe it didn’t matter, but it was the truth, so…

“It makes me angry.” She glanced at Nathan. “What about you?”

“My mom passed away—heart attack—but I have two sisters that I adore.”

Sophie pelted Nathan with questions about his sisters while Ames tried to process all this. He felt awful for Sophie. He felt like he should have checked on her over the years, but he’d been wrapped up in his own shit. And there was no way he could have gone back to that crappy little town. Just no way.

Recriminations did no good. It was what it was, but he was in her life now, and he intended to see her through school and into adulthood. Then he would still be there whenever she needed him.

He was her family, and she was his, dammit, and he owed her a little happiness.

“What was your jam in school, Ames?”

“Huh?” He realized the conversation had shifted without him when Nathan asked that. “Uh. Sports.”

“What about school subjects?” Sophie demanded.

“History, actually. I loved the Wild West.”

“History is cool. I like English. Chef?”

“I did best in languages, believe it or not.”

“Which ones?”

“French and Spanish. I knew those were the language of food and the language of line cooks.”

“You were focused at an early age.”

“I was,” Nathan agreed. “I mean, so were you.”

“Oh yeah. I never wanted to be anything but a cowboy.”

“I knew I wanted to be a chef. I wanted to run a restaurant.” Nathan shrugged. “It’s a calling.”

“So is that what you’re saving up to do again?” Sophie asked.

Ames waited, curious to hear the answer and surprised at how grumpy the idea of Nathan leaving made him.

“Well, I’m a restaurant chef. So I want a place—maybe nothing the size of what I had, but something where I can do my food. It’s going to take me time, though, to save up enough to get financing.”

“This is a good place to lick your wounds.”

Nathan nodded. “I feel like I’m starting to get a rhythm. I mean, some days are long, but the guys are decent about everything.” Nathan grinned at him. “And the weekends off are stellar. Stellar.”

Sophie cracked up. “But you took other days off, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t feel like I ever got time off, kiddo.”

“Owning a business is tough,” Ames told her. “Ryder and Kase hardly ever got time off back in the day. Now they’ve learned to hire more managers.”

“Yeah, and it’s a labor of love. I was doing it with the guy I thought I was going to marry, but…well, it didn’t work out.”

“The guy?”

“Yeah. The guy, the restaurant, the guy and the restaurant…”

There was a story there, and Ames wanted to ask, but he wouldn’t do it in front of Sophie. Maybe someday soon over a beer.

“You were going to get married?” Sophie asked. “Wow.”

“Uh-huh. It didn’t happen.” Nathan got a pan set up for the chicken.

“I’m sorry. I mean, obviously he wasn’t right for you, because…right?”

Nathan snorted. “He is an asshole. Not right for me. Not at all.”

“Ouch.” Ames shook his head. “Well, I guess if you hit the bottom, up is your only direction.”

“That’s what they tell me.” There was that smile again—a little wry, a little bittersweet, a lot wicked. “It’s over. Now I have a new adventure going for me. I can ride a horse, sort of.”

“You should take lessons with me,” Sophie said. “I would love to teach you stuff too.”

“Aw, thanks. Maybe I will.”

Ames thought that maybe he ought to do the teaching. He’d started the whole thing after all, hadn’t he?

“We could all go on a nice, gentle trail ride if you want. Get you more used to it.” He grinned, challenging Nathan with his eyes.

“Yeah… I did sort of do a trial by fire.” Nathan shook his head. “I swear to God, I thought I was going to die that first night. I laid in the bed and cried like a baby.”

“You never let on, though. I gotta give you that.”

“I could barely walk, and then I had to cook.”

Ames chuckled. “Welcome to the world of cowboys, man. We all lie in bed and cry like babies some nights.”

But at least they had someone to cook for them, he guessed.

“I’m not sure I’m cowboy material, but everyone has been kind about the food, really.”

“It’s so good,” Sophie said. “I mean really.”

“She’s right.” Ames was big enough to admit it. “And you even made burgers the other day.”

“I did, and they were amazing, right Sophie?”

“God yes. Fried egg, brioche bun, bacon. Uhn.”

Nathan cracked up, and Ames had to smile too.

“I was all over that.” He set the slaw aside, and clearly it met Sophie’s approval because she stuck it in the fridge.

“Kase says we’re allowed one unhealthy meal per week, so—” Nathan winked at him.

“Ah. Well, then. I vote for spaghetti and meatballs soon. With garlic bread.” He gave Nathan his best butter-won’t-melt-in-my-mouth expression.

“Sure. I love to make pasta. I bet albondigas with a nice pasta and tomato salsa with green chile would be amazing…”

“Oh. Oh, Chef!” Sophie bounced on her toes. “Chef, you could put it in an arepa!”

“Oh—good suggestion! Do you think there should be cheese?”

“Cotija? Queso fresco?”

Oh, God help him. He’d have to get that from the pizza place, he guessed.

“Maybe a bit of both, hrm? Good thoughts. You should write it out, and we’ll do some testing.”

Sophie was glowing. “Thanks, Chef.”

“So is that the recipe process?” Ames asked.

“You mean, brainstorm, write it, test it, re-write it? Yes.”

“That’s wild.” Ames tasted the sauce from the spoon Sophie handed him.

“Wow. Do you ever just experiment?”

Nathan chuckled softly. “Every meal. Every single one. I’m learning so much being here.”

“Neat.” He breathed deep. “Man, I’m hungry.”

“It’s close. Finish up the sauce, Sophie.”

From there, dinner came together fast. Fluffy rice, golden-brown chicken, slaw, and sauce.

He was drooling for it.

And it was so good. Crunchy chicken with a bite, the slaw spicy but also cooling, the rice taking everything down a notch…

It was perfect.

And he let them know. “You two are amazing. This is the best meal I’ve had in ages. Thank you.” Ames patted his belly to help emphasize his words.

“And we’re going to have milkshakes later!” Sophie grinned and motioned toward the living room. “Want to watch a movie?”

“I’ll wash up while you guys go sit and find something, if you want.” He had a dishwasher they hardly ever used. “I promise not to mess with your knives.”

“We’ll clean those first, right, Soph?”

“It’ll go fastest with all of us anyway. That’s the best.”

And suddenly they were cleaning up the kitchen and laughing and Ames was soaring. This was…well, it was warm, happy, and he wanted to kiss Nathan.

Badly.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Had he had a stroke over supper?

He glanced at Nathan. No, that wasn’t fair. Neither of them had been willing to bend when they met, but they were getting to know each other. And God knew Ames was gay. Like rainbow flag-waving glory hallelujah gay.

“Okay, let’s cool off and sit, and then we’ll do milkshakes.” Ames led them to the living room, and everyone had sat down when a knock came to the door.

“I’ll get it.” Sophie hopped up, and a couple of teenagers were at the threshold, giggles sounding. There was a muffled conversation, and Sophie called out, “Ames, is it okay if I go to the big house to go swimming?”

“Of course it is, kiddo. Thanks for supper.”

“Let me go get my bag!” She raced back to her room.

Nathan met his gaze and whispered, “That’s super good, isn’t it?”

“Crazy good. This is the first time. It’s about time that she feels good enough to go out. She’s so much more confident. A lot of that is down to you.”

“Ha.” Nathan scoffed. “You’re the one who’s given her a solid base. A home she can count on. It’s way easier to feel like you’re on an even keel when you have someone at your back.”

He nodded. “That’s your problem right now, huh? You lost the floor right out from under you.” He wasn’t being a dick; he thought it was so obvious to him at this point.

“Like you can’t imagine, man.” Nathan’s words stopped short as Sophie came back in.

“I have my phone! I’ll call if I’m later than ten?”

“That works for me, kiddo. Have fun.” He waited for her to leave, then texted Kase and Ryder.

the kids are all coming to swim. did they clear that with you?

Totally. They’re having a party—music, Cokes, tacos, no booze.

Good deal. Call me if I need to come get Sophie

He tossed his phone on the table. “Does this mean we get more ice cream?”

“Absolutely. Everything good? Is it okay if I stay, or would you rather I head out?”

“Oh, man, don’t leave me alone and worrying about the girl.” He winked. “I’m not scared she’ll do anything stupid, just that she’ll get wigged-out and need me to come get her. It only takes one weird comment or bad memory.”

“Yes. She’s got some healing to do, but you’re helping. It takes time, though, you know?”

“It does.” He sat back, not really watching the movie that was starting. “It took me a long time to settle once I left home. I started out shy, then I went to fighting, and then I finally decided I could be me.” Ames waved a hand. “This place had a lot to do with that.”

“Kase and Ryder are stunning men. Honestly, I love how giving they are. They make me tired, with how busy they can be.”

“Yeah.” But Ames wanted to know what had happened to Nathan. “Do you mind if I’m nosy?”

Nathan glanced at him sideways. “I’ll tell you if I do mind.”

“What happened with your restaurant? And your ex, I guess. They seem all tied up.”

“They were.” Nathan shrugged and sighed, and it was a sad, soft sound. “It’s all out there in the public. My ex—boyfriend-slash-fiancé, not husband, thank God—was my business partner, and he embezzled from our investors. Think in the millions, not the thousands. I ended up having to sell everything and pay back what I could. It was an embarrassment and a disaster.”

“Shit, man. You didn’t take him to court?”

“No. My whole financial life was tied up with that crap. I would have been the one to end up in jail, knowing my luck. It caught me totally flat-footed.”

“So you took the first job that came along?”

“No one wanted me. He’s already with another chef in Houston. I went with the job that had room and board, freedom, privacy, and that wasn’t in fine dining. I needed a fresh start.”

Oh.

Oh, that didn’t sound as bad, did it?

“I think that sounds really smart, man. Get out, really get some new experience and perspective.” He was being all rah-rah cheerleader, but Nathan seemed like he needed it.

“Yes. I needed a new mindset. New folks to feed. New kitchen. New challenges. Even the budgeting part of this is different.” Nathan met his eyes, cheeks bright red. “I know that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m trying to experiment, show folks new things, right?”

“You are. And the guys are into it.” He grinned. “I mean, a few of them are still carting cans of beanie weenies up to the trail, but that’s just stubborn tradition.”

Nathan snorted. “You mean you?”

“Nope. Not even when I was schlepping turkey and chips.”

Nathan rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Hurt feelings. Hurt pride. I just—all I have are my skills. I have no Michelin stars, no good reputation, no restaurant. I’m a little tender, I guess.”

“You have a right to be.” He could be the one to give some. He’d worked out his tenderness already. Mostly. He had his cowboy pride, but really, Nathan had given as good as he got.

Ames could respect that all to hell.

“Do you play cards? This movie is boring as all get out.” Ames didn’t want tonight to end, not yet.

“I do. I can play pretty much anything you throw at me…” Nathan’s expression went tickled like he had a feather up his butt. “I love games. What’s your poison?”

“For two people? Cribbage or Skip-Bo. Or I have backgammon if you want a board and dice game.” He beamed. For the most part, the other cowboys liked poker. He was more of an old fuddy-duddy game man.

“Oh, God. I haven’t played backgammon in eons. Do you mind if we play that? I used to love it. I played with this Scottish guy in culinary school.”

A tiny spurt of what had to be jealousy went through him. Ames would tuck that away for later when he was alone. No need to examine that now. “Let me get the board out. I love backgammon too, man. The guys all want to play cards, though.”

“Is that weird? You being the boss?”

“When we’re on the trail, no. Here at the ranch, yeah. I don’t live in the bunkhouse, so it’s odd if I invade their space.”

“Yeah, okay. I can see that,” Nathan admitted. “I have to say that it’s a tad strange staying in the little house there by the kitchen. Not awful. I’m not complaining.”

Nathan’s eyes went wide, as if he had surprised himself by admitting maybe something that was a touch too personal.

That was odd given what they had just talked about, all the weirdness with Nathan’s ex and everything but, still he supposed that was normal. After all, this was here, and everything that had happened before at least to Ames was like some story, something totally intangible, that he had no real connection to.

“Nobody said you were complaining. It’s okay. This isn’t going to get to the bosses or anything.”

He wasn’t a snitch, and besides folks got to bitch about things. It was part of life. If everything was hunky-dory they wouldn’t call it work.

“Right, right.” Nathan kind of chuckled a little bit. “Okay, cool. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with the little house. It’s just…” Nathan rolled his eyes. “You have to understand. This condo that I had in Austin, it was like one of those weird architectural magazine kind of things, you know, super glass and formal and fancy and…” He sighed. “Not really weird, but if you came in the front door, you sure weren’t going to touch anything, and I lived there.”

“Was it like a museum?”

“More like a showroom. The ex wanted to be sure anyone who came to see us got a distinct impression.”

Ames glanced around at his well-worn couch and his weird old 1940s coffee table that he’d refinished. “Yeah, I wonder what my house says? Early American junkyard?”

“Cool. Well, let me start by saying you have an amazing kitchen. Especially for someone who obviously doesn’t cook. I absolutely love it.”

Ames almost popped off with a sarcastic, “Thanks,” but he didn’t get a chance.

“It is totally ergonomic, easy to cook in, clean. I approve.” Nathan searched around the house like he was seeing it for the first time.

Really? They’d been in the front room for, what? Almost an hour and the kitchen was the only thing that Nathan had actually seen?

Ames wasn’t sure if that was weird or wonderful.

It was probably odd.

“I don’t think that your house says junkyard. I think it says home. I mean, it could use a little color maybe? Like, I could see if you wanted to paint a wall bright red or purple. That would rock, but really, this is just…like a house that’s a place where people live and are happy.” Nathan blinked, then rolled his eyes. “I mean, you are happy here, right?”

That was sort of a personal question.

“I’d say I’m…content. It’s been nice to have Sophie so I’m not rattling around by myself.” Cowboys were cowboys, gay or straight. He thought about how nice it would be to have a family. A lot. It didn’t seem to be in the cards.

“I bet. She’s an amazing kid. I can see why you’d like that. I’ve never lived alone before.”

Surely Nathan was exaggerating. “Never?”

“Nope.” Nathan’s cheeks went rosy. “I moved from home with sibs to roommate after roommate to live-in boyfriends. It wasn’t on purpose. It simply happened that way.”

Wow. No wonder the tiny house seemed strange. For some damn reason, it quivered on the edge of his tongue to tell Nathan he could crash on the couch anytime he got lonely or freaked out by himself, but he stopped it. Ames figured that was something else he would have to tuck away to glare at later.

He got the board set up, handing Nathan his dice.

No thinking. It was time to play.