Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

H enry jogged up the steps to the open doors of the church, something ragged in his soul needing to be soothed. He hadn’t made it to church very often in the past several months, but something that Finn had said at lunch a few days ago had stirred him to get up, get ready, and get to the chapel this morning.

Henry didn’t like doing much of anything by himself, let alone going to church. He stopped when he entered the chapel. The rows extended forward in front of him, with the pulpit about fifty yards away. It seemed like everyone thought today was a great day to be at church, and Henry had no idea where to sit.

“Coming or going?” someone asked, and the voice tickled recognition inside Henry.

He turned toward Bard. “Coming.”

“Yep, us too. Just getting here,” Bard said as he squeezed past Henry and continued down the aisle. Trevor followed him, using only a single cane today

“Hey, buddy,” Henry said, and Trevor grinned as he passed.

Henry’s pulse puttered around his body when Angel came to his side. “I didn’t know you were coming to church today.”

He swallowed because he hadn’t known either. He also hadn’t spoken much to Angel in the past few days since the luncheon. The messages he’d gotten from his friends had run through his mind and taken root, needing to be addressed.

If it’s bothering you that much , Link had said, You need to tell her.

You guys need to come clean , Dawson had said, while Finn had asked, Have you prayed about it?

They’d all had various advice, including JJ, who’d said, If it’s not hurting anybody, why does it matter?

Henry had been over that a lot. Why did it matter if everyone at Lone Star knew he and Angel were together? As Henry stood there next to her, his fingers itched to be reunited with hers. He slipped his hand closer, and she sucked in a breath. “You’re welcome to come sit by us if you want.”

Then she walked away. Henry figured that was about as good as he was going to get from Angel. If he sat by her in church, wasn’t that public enough for him?

All at once, Henry realized his pride needed to be satisfied. He wanted others to know that he’d gotten the gorgeous Angel White to go out with him , that they were together, that somehow that would elevate him and make him more important.

“Which is stupid,” he muttered to himself. As another family came up behind him, Henry got himself out of the doorway, strolled down the aisle, and sat on the end of the pew next to Angel. He put his forearms on his knees and let his hands hang down as he leaned forward.

“Are you okay?” she asked, almost under her breath.

“Just thinking through some things,” he said.

“Well, church is a good place for that.”

The music started only a minute later. The choir sang one of Henry’s absolute favorite songs for the opening number, which lifted his heart so much that he returned to his seat with hope running through him.

Pastor Ryan got up, and while he probably had twenty years on Henry, he’d always said exactly what Henry needed to hear. Today, he started with a story about geological terms and directions, about needing a fixed location to measure from.

“It’s called a backsight,” Pastor Ryan said. “A fixed location that everyone has agreed upon. It’s what land surveyors all use—a fixed, known position to move forward to unknown positions around the world.”

Henry could see where he was going with this “fixed, known position,” and equating it to the Savior. He sure did enjoy the mini lesson, as told by a great storyteller, about how land surveyors worked to determine property lines.

“I once counseled someone who was having a dispute with his neighbor over where the fence could go and which parcel of property he owned and which his neighbor did. There has to be a legal way to determine that. It’s not just what he wanted, and it’s not what his neighbor wanted.”

The pastor spoke in such an engaging voice, and he surveyed the congregation as he did. “But on the earth, we have established backsights, usually situated at higher elevations, and land surveyors can use those known marks to determine property lines.

“So one was called, and he came out and determined where the property line was using this anchored spot on the earth, this backsight, this known and agreed-upon position. By looking back to what has been established, to what is known, a clear boundary between the two properties could be established.”

Fascinating , Henry thought. He’d never much thought about such things.

“And that is what the Savior does,” Pastor Ryan continued. “When you’re not sure about where your boundaries are, when you’re not sure of the lines, when you’re not sure of the direction you need to go, you turn back to the one constant thing that doesn’t move and doesn’t change—and that is God.”

Henry found himself nodding along, his attention solely focused on the pastor up front.

“Go to Him with your questions and your concerns and find out what He wants you to do,” Pastor Ryan said. “I have one little bit of warning here, and that’s about the timing of what you think you want and when you want it. Because God very rarely works on men’s time.

“He has a plan for you, and He is aware of you. But my friends, my brothers and sisters, speed does not matter if there is no direction.”

Speed does not matter if there is no direction.

“We always get our direction from the established backsight, from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and God the Father. So you might be trying to go too fast, and God might feel like He needs to slow you down. It’s because He knows the direction that you need to go, and He knows how fast you need to do it. Getting something before you’re ready for it does no good, and arriving late could also be detrimental.”

“So turn to the Lord in all things, and trust in His timing. Trust in His speed. Trust in His direction, for He is the ultimate backsight.”

“Amen, brother,” Henry whispered, though the preacher’s words also whipped like a chastisement to his soul. He hadn’t really been going to the Lord and asking for anything to do with timing. But Henry was a go-go-go man, and he wanted everything all at once.

With the introduction of this new advice, some of his frustration over Angel’s slowness in announcing the relationship to everyone at Lone Star bled away. Speed was irrelevant without proper direction. His mind went through that for the rest of the sermon, though the pastor moved on to say other things.

The meeting ended, and Henry stood to sing and clap along with everybody else. The music finished, and he turned toward Angel at the same time she looked at him.

“He was great,” Henry said. “I didn’t know that about land surveyors and backsights. Did you?”

“No,” she said. “I’ve never heard of that before.”

He led the way out of the pew, wanting to spend more time with Angel that day, but knowing that she spent the Sabbath with her family. He also wasn’t sure if she wanted them to be seen together. So he simply moved up the aisle and out of the building, basking in the sunshine as it beat down on him.

Angel didn’t come out right behind him, which meant she’d gotten stopped and was probably chatting with someone inside. They hadn’t come together, hadn’t planned to come together, and hadn’t planned to spend any time together today. But Henry still felt a little bit odd just simply walking away from her. He did, because no one could stand outside in this Texas heat for long, but when he got behind the wheel of his truck, he pulled out his phone to text her.

Thanks for letting me sit by you at church today. I didn’t see your momma and hope she’s okay. Let me know if you need anything. He sent that, adjusted the vents to blow more directly at him, and turned up the radio before he headed back to Lone Star.

Along the way, Henry wasn’t even sure if he passed through green lights or red lights. He had no idea what songs played. He shivered before he realized he was cold from the blasting AC, because he’d been thinking about what the pastor had said.

Speed is irrelevant without direction.

Henry really needed to know what direction to go. He could see himself easing easily into the Whites’ way of life at Lone Star. Angel had a cabin; they could get married, and he could move in there with her.

They could raise their family there, shoeing horses and teaching horseback riding lessons for the rest of their lives. His life could definitely go in that direction.

But…Henry didn’t see it, and he wasn’t sure if he didn’t see it with Angel, or if he didn’t see it at Lone Star, or if he didn’t see it because it was the combination of both Angel and Lone Star.

Could he really just insert himself into their family as if he’d belonged there his whole life when he hadn’t?

The questions continued to roar through Henry as he returned to his cabin, grabbed lunch, and then headed out to the stable to go through his paperwork for the week. He didn’t often file it on time, and he used his days off to get that done.

He’d put in a request to move his days off to Sundays and Thursdays, so he could attend the rancher luncheons every first Thursday of the month with his friends. He hadn’t heard if that had been approved yet.

As he shuffled through paperwork, he finally got a text from Angel that said, It was nice to sit by you today. Trevor wants to know if you’re doing anything with Palermo later this afternoon. If so, he wants to come, and I told him you would text him.

Henry was going to work with Palermo later that afternoon, and he would definitely text Trevor so he could come over. He wasn’t exactly trying to make Palermo a therapy horse, but Palermo needed some rehabilitation from an injury, and he had been helping Henry as much as the horse.

He’d mentioned it to Angel, and she must have told Trevor about it. Second , Angel said, I’ve rearranged your days off to Sundays and Thursdays as you requested.

For some reason, that made Henry’s whole soul light up, and he took it as an answer from God that he needed to be closer to Three Rivers. He needed to be closer to family for some reason. He needed to maintain those friendships with Finn, Alex, Dawson, Oliver, Walker, JJ, and Link.

But why? he wondered as he reread Angel’s text. No answer came then, but Henry knew it as well as he knew his own face. He looked up and saw that face partially reflected in the glass in front of him.

“All right, Lord,” he said. “I’m trusting in the direction.” He hated how he had to constantly step into the dark, but that seemed to be the path God wanted him on.

So Henry prayed right then and there that God wouldn’t lead him to the edge of the cliff and let him fall off.