Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

H enry sat on the top step of the porch at his cabin, his eyes on his phone, as the sun sank in the west. The day turned dusky, then darker and darker, and would eventually be night. Henry hoped he could then slip away and walk over to Angel’s. He often sat on the front porch or on the front steps and texted, so this wasn’t a new activity for him, and Levi shouldn’t suspect anything.

And it so happened that his family text string had gone off the rails. Momma had just found out John’s graduation date, and of course, she wanted everyone to come celebrate him as a Baylor graduate. Paul had already said he’d be there. Rich would return home from Amarillo State for the summer, so he’d be living in Three Rivers, and he would go with Momma and Daddy to the graduation. That, of course, left Henry.

He swiped over to his calendar and looked at it. John’s graduation was on a Friday, but Baylor was hundreds of miles away. He would need at least two days off to be able to attend, and he might be able to be back by Monday.

“Could be three days off,” he said to the deepening darkness. Not that it really mattered. Angel would give him the time off; it was a family thing, not just him going out, getting drunk, or losing track of time.

After he’d left the grocery store this afternoon, he’d gone by the farrier academy to get his own graduation packet. It was due next week, and Henry would make another trip to town to drop it off. I have my graduation date too , he texted. May 21.

A few weeks after John’s, so his parents should be able to come, and he wondered if John would be able to. He’d gotten an internship with a company that made horse trailers, and he knew it started pretty quickly.

That’s great , Momma said. I’ll put it on the calendar right now. Daddy and I will for sure be there.

I can be there too , Rich said.

I’ll be there , Paul said. And, of course, that just left John. He’d been texting a few minutes ago, but he didn’t chime in right away, and Henry didn’t really mind if his brother missed the graduation.

I understand schedules are tight and weird , he said. If everyone can’t come, it’s not a big deal. They’d all come to his college graduation, as he’d been the first in their family to earn a college degree. He didn’t expect them to come for his farrier certificate.

They’re rearranging a bunch of stuff here at Lone Star , he texted next. I’ve applied for a captain position, as well as a foreman position, as well as a welcome greeter position that doesn’t even exist right now. Angel’s doing a lot of restructuring. I’m expecting her to make some announcements in the next couple of weeks.

That’s great , Daddy said. We’ll pray for you.

Henry lowered his phone and looked out into the night. It hadn’t quite turned all the way dark yet, but his eyes took a moment to adjust from the light of his phone to the blackness beyond.

He sure liked that his daddy had gone right to we’ll pray for you when Henry had told him about the opportunities here. And that tickled his compliment bone, the one he’d been trying to exercise more and more since his conversation with Levi weeks ago.

Who else can we pray for? he texted his family. He’d been trying to find people around him that he could help, people that needed lifting up, and he figured he could extend that to his family.

Paul answered, and as Henry read the message, a blip of surprise moved through him. I’m planning to propose to Brielle soon , he said. I’m real nervous about it, so I could use some prayers for that.

Momma sent five praying hands, and John said, Wow, you’re gonna propose to Brielle? with five question marks.

Henry kind of felt the same way but not really. Paul and Brielle had been dating for a while now. He tapped out of the family texts and moved over to one with just Paul.

Why are you nervous about asking her to marry you? he asked.

Her family has a ranch in the Hill Country , Paul said to just Henry. Brielle’s the oldest, and she’s kind of always thought that she would take it over. But I’ve got Courage Reins and all the things I do with Three Rivers, so I’m a little nervous that she might not say yes because she doesn’t want to live on that ranch with me.

Henry hadn’t known that Brielle had a ranch and that she might inherit it in the Hill Country. He assumed that she’d move to Three Rivers with Paul, that they’d find a house in town or find a way to build a house out at the ranch, and that they’d live there while Paul ran the equine therapy unit for Daddy.

Henry’s lungs had no idea how to keep breathing, but his fingers managed to type out, Wow. That is something.

Yeah , Paul said, and Henry could hear the dejected tone in the four letters.

I’m sorry, brother , he said. I’ll pray for you and Brielle both to have a clear mind.

Thank you , Paul said. I think that’s what we need.

I know you’ll figure out the right thing to do for you, Henry said. You’re real smart like that, Paul. Don’t forget that.

Paul called, which didn’t surprise Henry all that much, and he said, “Hey, brother,” as he answered the phone.

Paul said nothing, which spoke volumes, and Henry’s own throat worked with emotion. Finally, Paul said, in a slightly nasal voice, “Thank you, Henry. I really needed to hear that.”

“That you’re smart?” Henry asked.

“Yeah,” Paul clipped out.

“Why do you think you’re not smart?” Henry asked.

“Well, I’m not graduating from Baylor,” Paul said in a normal tone. “I didn’t graduate in industrial engineering, and I’m not about to get my farrier certificate. In fact, I’m the only one who didn’t go to college at all. I just work the ranch.”

“There’s no ‘just’ about that,” Henry said softly. “I know loads of men who work ranches. They’re really good at it, and it means something to the people they serve and the work they do.”

“Yeah,” Paul bit out again, clearly inside his head on this issue, and Henry wasn’t sure how to help him.

“Well, you’re the smartest person I know,” he said. “Whenever I’m wondering what to do, I think, ‘What would Paul think? What would Paul do? How would Paul handle this?’”

“Oh, that’s just not true,” Paul said.

“It is,” Henry said. “You lead with a level head. You always say the right thing, and you always do what you’re supposed to do, even if you don’t want to.”

“Do you think that includes leaving the ranch and going to the Hill Country to be with Brielle?” Paul whispered.

Henry didn’t rightly know, and the stars that had started to come out certainly didn’t hold the answers. He took a breath of the night air, wishing the night would cool off, but it probably wouldn’t. “I don’t know, Paul. I wish I did, but I don’t know.”

“I don’t either,” Paul said. “I told Daddy about it a couple of days ago. I think he’s totally stumped; I don’t think he knew what to do at all.”

“Yeah,” Henry said. “Because I’m not there. John’s not there, and Rich is kind of….” He didn’t know what to put there that wouldn’t be demeaning. He loved his younger brother.

“A party animal,” Paul supplied. They both laughed, and Henry decided that summed up Rich pretty well.

“Yeah,” he said. “He’s young still. That’s what he is. He’s young still. Needs time to grow up.”

“Yeah,” Paul said. “But Daddy’s not sure he has time. He’s ready for someone to start taking over right now, so he can move into semi-retirement the way Uncle Squire’s gonna do by the end of this year.”

“Yeah,” Henry said. “I heard Libby was coming back.”

“Yep,” Paul said. “She’s got everything worked out with her job in Oklahoma. She’s going through the paperwork, and she should be here before Thanksgiving.”

“That’s amazing,” Henry said, and he had no desire to return to Courage Reins or Three Rivers and make it his permanent home. He thought about Angel, and there was no way she would ever leave Lone Star. She’d already taken it over. Anyone she fell in love with and married would live right here at Lone Star with her.

But do they have to? Henry wondered, and he wasn’t sure why his mind had come up with that question, nor was he sure how to answer it.

“Momma’s texting again,” Paul said. “She really wants everyone at John’s graduation, and she wants everyone at yours.”

“I know,” Henry said. “I’ll talk to Angel about it tomorrow. In fact, I can talk to her about it tonight.” His nerves suddenly itched at him to get off these steps and over to Angel’s. “I’ve got to go.”

“Yeah,” Paul said. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Henry said, as if he was going to go to bed next. “I’ll talk to you later, brother. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Paul said, and the call ended.

Henry got to his feet, stretched out his back and his legs, and then texted Levi. Family stuff is crazy right now. I’m gonna go for a walk for a little bit. Don’t wait up for me. I’ll see you in the morning.

Okay , Levi said. I’ll leave the light on. I’m going to bed now.

Okay , Henry said.

Anything I can do about the family stuff?

No , Henry said. But thank you, Levi. And he meant it, because Levi was a good friend and a good man, and if he could help Henry, he would. Henry had talked through some of his other familial problems in the past, and Levi had helped him have a level head going into certain situations and conversations with his daddy.

Now, Henry tucked his phone away and moved into the darkness, away from the lights coming from the cabins. The stables had automatic lights that came on when someone got too close, but Henry had been walking the line between the cabins and the stables, testing how close he could get before the lights flashed on.

The alley was about twenty feet wide, and if he just stayed in that area, he could walk in the darkness, no one would see him, and he could get to the back of the farmhouse that way. Angel just lived another jog down the road from there. He’d walked it a few times now, planning on surprising her one night.

Tonight was that night. Outside the grocery store, he’d kissed her deeper than he ever kissed her before, and she’d kissed him back. When Henry said they needed to slow down, he meant physically. He didn’t want to get himself into too much trouble. And he and Angel had really only been dating for six weeks, despite the fact that he’d known her longer than that.

He crept up to her back door, knocked a few times, hoping she was still awake. Cursing himself mentally, he pulled out his phone to send her a text when the door opened, and light spilled out onto her back deck, haloing her from behind.

“Henry,” she whispered.

“Sorry, I meant to text you,” he whispered back.

She pushed open the screen door, and Henry slipped inside. She sealed them in and locked the door, which felt very dangerous and very off-limits to Henry.

She didn’t wear her usual jeans and tank top, nor her cowgirl boots. In fact, Henry saw her bare feet, which he hadn’t seen before. At his parents’ house, on that lazy Sunday where she’d worn his cousin’s clothes, she’d worn socks.

She wore a pair of loose, blue pajama shorts with a matching tank top, and she looked like she might head outside and sit in a chaise lounge to get a suntan. Perhaps she wore a bikini underneath her clothes, and she’d take those off so that she could get every inch of her skin a golden brown.

Henry shoved the thoughts away, recoiled from the images that entered his mind, and licked his lips as he looked at her. “How’re you doing tonight?”

“Good,” she said, staying across the kitchen from him.

“The deadline for applications is over.” He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. But the fact was, he’d only been in her house once before this, and for some reason, this first, forbidden meeting in her house had brought some nerves to his chest.

“Yeah,” she said. “It seems like everyone applied.”

“That’s good,” Henry said, though his competitive streak reared up. “That means you’ve got a good, nice culture here.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m not unhappy with it. Lots to choose from.”

“Everyone?” he asked.

“Almost everyone,” she said. “Caleb’s finishing up his apprenticeship, and he’s decided he’s not going to come back.”

“Oh,” Henry said. “When do I need to decide that?” With everything else going on, he hadn’t even thought about staying on at Lone Star or moving on.

“I’m going to go over all of that in the interviews,” she said, tension all over her face. “Normally, I’d do that in May, but there’s no reason to have two interviews so close together.”

“Mm hm.”

“Do you have any idea what you might do?”

Every door in his life felt like it stood wide open right now, and Henry couldn’t add his future at Lone Star to the mix. “No, I’m not sure.”

“Well, your apprenticeship will be up at the end of May,” she said. “We’ll write you a real good letter of recommendation if you have somewhere else you want to go or if you’re starting your own place.” She cut off when Henry reached out and touched his finger to her lips.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Angel,” he said. “There’s no other place. I’m not going to start my own business. I’ve just got a lot going on right now and haven’t thought about extending my apprenticeship here.”

She nodded, and Henry dropped his hand. “You want some coffee?”

“No, ma’am,” he said. “I’ll be up all night. Already got a lot of thoughts in my head keeping me awake.”

“You do?” she asked. “Like what?”

Henry hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “Can we maybe go sit down?”

“Yeah, sure,” she said, and she seemed nervous too.

Henry took her hand and started to relax. He led her into the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled her down onto his lap. “It’s sure good to see you, Angel.” He nuzzled the tip of his nose against her cheek. “I didn’t mean to kiss you so strongly this afternoon,” he said. “I apologize.”

“It’s fine,” Angel whispered.

“Yeah, I know,” he said. “But I minded it. It’s not something we should be doing.”

“Okay,” she said.

Henry sighed. “I don’t think the 3D horseshoes are going to work.”

“No?” She took off his cowboy hat and set it on the top of the couch, then she brushed her fingers through his hair.

Henry closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of her touch. “No,” he said. “Everyone I’ve called says it can’t be done. I even asked my daddy for help with Gilligan’s shoes. He’s got a master ironsmith who does custom shoes for horses, and I’m going to meet with him next time I go to Three Rivers.”

“When is that going to be?” Angel asked.

“I don’t know,” Henry said. “My brother’s graduating from Baylor at the end of the month, so probably then.”

“You’re graduating in May too,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “Six or seven more weeks. I just got the packet today. Momma’s got it on her calendar. Everyone will come.”

“You don’t sound happy about that,” she said.

“I am,” he said. “My family’s just…my family. You’ve got one. You know how they are.”

“Yeah,” she said. “They’re awesome, but they’re a little complicated sometimes.”

“Exactly.” He touched his mouth to her jaw and then her neck. “You sure smell good.”

“Hm mm.”

Henry smiled at her adoption of his humming. “I didn’t get an ‘I need a cowboy hug’ before I came over.”

“Maybe I didn’t need one,” she said.

Henry opened his eyes and looked at Angel, the moment sobering and lengthening. “What if we fall in love, but I don’t want to live here? Then what?”

Angel’s eyes widened and she blinked rapidly. “What do you mean?”

“What if we want to get married?” he asked. “I know it’s real early. I don’t need you to be thinking about that. But what if we do?” He took a big breath. “I think it would be great if you lived off-site,” he said. “It would give you more distance from Lone Star, and we could commute in.”

“You want to buy somewhere else and commute in?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about. I might talk to my cousin Finn about finding a place. He’s got a one-man operation.”

“You want to buy a ranch ?” she asked, incredulity in her voice. “Henry, baby, if we get married, Lone Star is our ranch.”

“It’s your ranch.”

“But if you’re with me, it’s your ranch too,” she said.

“But that doesn’t mean we have to live here.” He brushed her hair back, noting that she still wore her wig. “Can I take this off?”

Panic paraded across her face, then everything relaxed, and she said, “Okay, I’ll do it.” She reached up and pressed something, and when she brushed her hair back, the wig came right off. She wore a wig cap underneath. Henry had seen those because his momma had used them in the past.

“I just don’t have very much hair,” she said. “It grows in real thin, and I look bald in some places.”

“Hm.” He reached up and pushed the wig cap back, loosening her hair. He brushed his fingers through it. It was silky and soft, like corn silk, and she was right. There wasn’t a whole lot of it.

“Medical condition?” he asked.

“I got pneumonia when I was eighteen or nineteen,” she said. “My hair never grew right after that.”

He pulled her head down and kissed her on her forehead and then kissed her on the top of her head. “You’re beautiful no matter what.”

Angel smiled at him, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. Henry didn’t know what else to say. He’d already brought up marriage and where they might live if that happened, and he figured that was enough for tonight. With all the graduations weighing on his mind, and Paul possibly moving to the Hill Country, Henry simply couldn’t think about anything more. So he held Angel in his arms, and he slowed all the way down until only the two of them existed in this small living room, in a house, on a ranch, in the Texas Panhandle.

Angel lay softly in his arms, and when she breathed in deep and then let it out slow, he realized she’d fallen asleep. He loved that, because it meant she had also slowed down enough, and she was comfortable enough with him, that she didn’t have to be on high alert. She didn’t have to be on alert at all.

Henry’s disappointment over the 3D printing of the horseshoes melted away, all the stress of his calendaring and scheduling, and the worry over perhaps getting a promotion here at Lone Star—none of it mattered.

Only the woman in his arms mattered. Henry stood as carefully as he could so that he didn’t disturb her, and he carried her down the hall to her bedroom. She stirred slightly as he tucked her in, then she went right back to sleep.

Henry tiptoed out of her room. He wasn’t sure if she pulled her bedroom door closed all the way or not, so he left it open a few inches and snuck back into the night.

The sky spanned forever above him, pricked with starlight. Henry allowed all of his questions to come out, and he murmured them as he took the fifteen-minute walk back to his cabin.

“What’s the right thing for Paul to do? Can John really come to my graduation? Should Angel and I make our relationship public? How will things go over when the new employee handbook comes out? Who are she and Justin and Bard going to pick for the promotions? What should I do with my life? Should I stay on for another year? Should I start my own farrier business? Should I try to find a place of my own to live in and commute to Lone Star if I stay?”

Everything came out, and Henry let it because the night was so big and so wide that it could absorb whatever came out of his mouth. God felt the same way to Henry. He was so big and so wide, and He could take anything Henry threw at Him.

His front porch light activated as he stepped close enough to his cabin, and Henry murmured one more thing: “Lord, light the path ahead, and I will follow it.”