Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

C aroline put another swimming suit in her suitcase, then took it back out. "Do I even need one suit?"

She paced away from her bed, so many neurons firing through her. She hadn't taken a road trip in years, and certainly not with her boyfriend.

The thought of Dawson calmed her, and she looked in the mirror above her bureau. "Lord," she said. "This is make-or-break for me."

It had been three weeks since she'd made her night-drive to Dawson's cabin, cried in front of him, confessed several things, and eaten ice cream until he was yawning every other second.

They'd been texting and talking as normal since then, but they both knew this trip would set a defining line for both of them. She wasn't sure what it was for him, and to be honest, Caroline had no idea what this road trip would do for her either.

She only knew it would do something.

So she finished packing just in the nick of time, as Dawson rang the doorbell just as she leaned heavily into her bag to get it to zip closed.

"Come in!" she called, though Belle was home and could surely answer the door. She somehow knew the front door had opened, and she hefted her bag off her bed and started to wheel it down the hall to the living room.

She paused when she heard Belle laugh in a way Caroline hadn't in a long time. Months. Judy did too, and Caroline inched past her bag to see the scene in the living room.

Dawson held Judy in his arms, the two of them smiling and giggling as he held out a doll for her.

She took it, and Caroline switched her attention to Belle. She glowed, positively glowed , as she pressed both hands to her heart.

"We'll miss you," she said to Dawson. "But Caroline is so excited, and you two are going to have the time of your lives."

Dawson chuckled and said, "I don't know about that, but I'm excited too." He set Judy down and turned toward the hallway, where he caught sight of Caroline. "Oh, hey, sweetheart. "

Caroline wasn't sure of all the things running through her heart and mind. She only knew one thing—she loved Dawson Rhinehart.

So she rushed toward him and took his face in her hands and kissed him, the words, I love you, I love you, I love you , running through her head.

Caroline couldn't wait to get out of the truck, but she forced herself to stay belted until Dawson came to a complete stop. Then she groaned as she spilled from the truck in front of the hotel he'd chosen for their first night stay of their road-boat trip.

A hotel in Shreveport, Louisiana, as they had a fourteen-hour drive from Three Rivers, Texas to New Orleans, where their ship would disembark and head up the Mississippi River.

She put both hands on her lower back and bent backward, feeling the pull up and down her body. "Nine hours in the car is too long," she griped to Dawson as he came around the front of the truck.

He simply tossed her a smile and said, "Amen," as he hurried inside. "I'm going to hit the restroom, and then I'll get our rooms."

"Okay," Caroline called after him as the hotel entrance swallowed him. Dawson hadn't scared her once on the drive here, and they'd had bouts of silence mixed with plenty of conversation too.

Right now, Caroline's head ached, and she was simply ready to be alone again. She wasn't sure what that meant about her, or Dawson, or the two of them. Perhaps she just needed to get out of the small space of the truck and let her thoughts roam for a few minutes.

Her stomach growled, as lunch had been hours ago. Dawson had stopped for drinks and snacks, but her belly wanted real food, and she turned back to the truck to get her purse. After such a long drive, she just wanted a bellhop to come collect her bags and lead her to the nicest room in the hotel.

Neither she nor Dawson were made of money, though, and they'd gotten regular rooms at discount rates. She'd pulled their bags from the truck bed by the time Dawson returned, and he said, "Hey, you don't need to do that." He took her backpack from her and shouldered it himself. "I was coming right back."

"I'm capable," she said.

"Mm, yes, you are." He kissed her quickly and then faced the hotel. "They weren't busy inside, so we should be ready for dinner soon." He glanced over to her, and she wasn't sure what her face looked like, but he paused. "You don't want to go to dinner."

"I'm tired," she admitted. "Who knew driving could be so tiring? "

He grinned at her and shook his head as he chuckled. "Maybe we're not cut out for road tripping," he said. "Because it's a lot of driving." He led the way into the hotel, and Caroline let him take the lead to get their room assignments and keys. The front desk clerk went over the Internet passwords and pointed out the way to the elevators, but Dawson leaned into the counter.

"We're tired, but hungry. Can we get room service here?"

"I'm sorry, sir," the woman said. "We don't have room service, but we have a restaurant in the corner of the first floor, and you can call and do a take-out order."

"Okay, thanks," he said.

She put a couple of pamphlets on the counter in front of him. "Or you can order from several places nearby. They deliver right to the room."

Dawson swiped the papers from the counter and said, "Thank you, ma'am," with the tip of his hat. The woman practically preened under his attention, and she glanced over to Caroline as if just seeing her for the first time.

Caroline gave her a smile, using up some of the dregs of her energy.

"You look tired," Dawson said. "What's up? We didn't leave until eight-thirty."

"I maybe didn't sleep well last night," she said as she turned to go with him to the elevators .

"Too excited?"

"Yes," she said simply.

He yawned, nodded, and pointed to himself. "Me too." They got on the elevator, and he pushed the eight for their floor. "I sure did like today," he said. "Just me and you, without any wind, or rain, or dogs, or crows."

"Oh, come on," she teased, bumping him with her hip. "You love the dogs and the crows."

He laughed, and Caroline's second wind started to grow in her chest. "Yeah," he said. "But I literally never take a vacation from the ranch. It feels weird…and nice."

"Yeah," she said as she leaned into him. "I don't take many vacations either."

"When we're married, I'd like to take a vacation at least once a year."

Caroline's eyebrows went up. "When we're married?" They hadn't had this conversation at all in the past eight hours, though they had another five or six to go tomorrow. Then they had to get on their boat by three p.m., and off they'd be on the Mississippi River.

Dawson wouldn't look at her, and the bell on the elevator dinged, saving him. "This way," he said roughly. Caroline followed him off the elevator, her mind fuzzing a little with every step she took. The hallway snaked around, and she hoped she'd be able to get out if necessary.

He keyed open one door and dragged his suitcase inside. "You're right next door," he said, and he moved to that one and held the key to the electronic pad. It beeped and flashed green, then he pushed down on the handle, and the door opened.

He entered first and held the door for her, so she could wheel her suitcase past him and into the room. The air hadn't been circulating, and a certain stuffiness entered her nose and lungs. She scooted her bag against the wall and searched for the thermostat while Dawson lingered in the doorway.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" he asked.

She tapped on the down arrow to get the AC pumping. "You decide." Caroline ducked back around the corner and found him looking at her. "I really don't care. I don't want to go out, but if you order something, I'll come to your room, and we can have a picnic."

Grinning, she moved toward him. She ran her hands up his chest and leaned into him, her mouth nearly catching on his as she said, "This was a great first day of road tripping."

"Yeah?" His eyes had fallen closed, and he hadn't backed up an inch. "You're too tired to eat."

"Baby, I'm never too tired to eat." She pressed her lips to his. "I'm just too tired to go out. But give me a half-hour, and I'll come see if your room is nicer than mine."

He chuckled, his hands encircling her, drawing her closer. "They're exactly the same, baby." He released the door, which he'd been holding with his foot, and it slammed noisily closed.

Caroline wrapped her arms around him and let him hold her there in the narrow hallway of the hotel room.

"Caroline," he whispered. "I want to talk about marriage and family on this trip."

She stilled, grateful for a beating heart and breathing lungs that never stopped. She straightened and studied his face. He wore seriousness there, and she loved the flecks of darker blue in his aquamarine eyes. She didn't need to be afraid of any conversations she had with this man, because that was what they were—conversations.

Not demands. Not a dictatorship, with a king telling her what to do, how to think, where to be and when.

"I do too," she said.

"Yeah?"

She smiled and traced her fingers down his sideburn and along the side of his jaw, his beard soft and prickly beneath her fingers. "Yeah, baby."

"Good," he said, his voice back to rough and husky, like he'd swallowed a nail or two and had a wound near his windpipe. "Because I'm in love with you, and we need to start making plans if we're really going to be serious."

Caroline pulled in a breath. "Dawson Rhinehart," she whispered. "Don't you say it if you don't mean it."

He gave her a soft smile. "I've already said it, darlin'." He kneaded her closer, until she had to shut her eyes she was so close.

Behind her eyelids, in the semi-darkness, everything was easier to see, to feel, to say. So she said, "I'm in love with you too."

Dawson pulled in a breath, but Caroline didn't open her eyes to see him. She wanted to bask in this moment, this feeling of contentment, where she'd finally released the secrets of her heart, and a very good, very handsome cowboy had received them for safekeeping.

"Caroline Thompson," he murmured. "Don't you say it if you don't mean it."

She smiled, her muscles like melting frosting over hot cinnamon rolls. "I've already said it, baby."

He kissed her gently, the movement intensifying and increasing until he'd stolen her breath with the passion and love in his stroke. She hoped she was kissing him back in the same way, and when he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, his breath came quickly.

"Can you answer my questions for me now?" he asked.

"Which ones?"

"The one about when our year started," he said. "And the one where I'd like to know if the wedding has to be after the twelve months, or the proposal has to wait until then." He did ease back then, but Caroline couldn't quite meet his gaze.

"If you can't answer?— "

"I can." She settled her pulse and looked up at him. "I think New Year's Day was our first date. The breakfast at your cabin."

"Great," he said without missing a beat.

She swallowed, suddenly so unsure of herself. "And I don't think you'll like this, but I think the diamonds have to wait until the twelve months are up."

His jaw tightened, but he nodded. "Fair enough."

"Are you upset?"

He ducked his head and tracked his lips along her neck. "Only because I want to be with you," he whispered. He kissed up to her ear. "But otherwise, no, sweetheart. I can respect your rules, and besides."

Dawson lifted his head and stepped away from her as his stomach growled. "This gives me time to talk to Duke and my daddy about a place for us to live on the ranch."

"You think I'm just going to come live on the ranch with you?"

He opened the door that joined their rooms, but his door was locked. He had to face her and backtrack to the door, where she stood. He grinned at her and said, "Yeah, sweetheart. I think you're going to come live on the ranch with me, and my dog, and those crows, and we're going to have an amazing life."

After kissing her quickly, he said, "I'm going to go order dinner and take a shower. I'll unlock my door when I'm done, and you can just come over, okay? "

She nodded, and Dawson pulled open her door and left. The resulting slam made her flinch, and Caroline hugged herself as she walked through the room to the window.

"Lord," she whispered to the scene beyond her window—a courtyard with a swimming pool in it. "Did I do the right thing with my twelve-month rule?"

She didn't get a sick feeling in her gut, and she relaxed her arms. "I love him," she said next. "I know that, but I still want to see what life will be like during harvest, during the round-up, during the holidays, for his birthday. I want to be prepared, and that's not a bad thing, right?"

She once again didn't get any indication that it was, and she relaxed even more. "How am I doing?" she asked next, a dangerous question when talking to God. "I feel like I've been giving You more and more of my troubles to carry, and I'm real grateful for that. If there's something specific You want from me, please let me know."

God once again remained silent, but Caroline waited. She'd learned over the past couple of months that sometimes the Lord spoke softly, and she had to stand still to hear Him.

Her mind felt sharp despite her earlier exhaustion, and after several long, still, silent moments, she finally felt more than heard, I am pleased with you, Caroline.

She wept openly, basking in the warm love of God right there in a hotel in Shreveport. As she calmed and wiped her eyes, she closed her eyes and murmured, "Thank you."

For the assurance that she was on the right path.

For a second chance at a life she wanted to live.

For the love of a cowboy like Dawson Rhinehart.

Oh, and for this road-boat trip that had already changed her life.