Chapter Fifteen

O ver the next few days, Nathan kept an eye on Izzy as she practiced her barrel technique. They cleaned the stalls together after he put the horses out to pasture, and they cleaned the tack, but they didn’t talk much. He’d thought about what he wanted—as if he didn’t already know, and by the end of three days, he wished she had more to say.

He wanted to do everything he could to make sure the Triple L survived. That was a no-brainer and nothing new, but he didn’t only want the ranch to survive, he wanted it to thrive. After the over-the-top offer Jaeger had made, Nathan was more certain than ever that right here, where he’d started, was where he wanted to spend the rest of his life. And he wanted to spend it with Izzy Payton.

Changing her mind about leaving was the next hurdle.

Before he met her, he’d thought he wanted the Triple L to stay exactly as it was when his parents were alive. But in all truth, nothing stayed the same. Izzy had taught him that. She was right about the ranch, but she wasn’t right about moving on. All the traveling she did, going from place to place, might be exciting, but where was home for the surprisingly curious woman?

Even if he could convince her to plant her roots entangled with his, that they could work it out so she could take on jobs that challenged her but also allowed her to come back home, would she still walk away?

If she did, he would feel the loss deep inside his soul.

He needed her, like his dad had needed his mom. The Triple L needed her. Even after they got the ranch back on its feet, they would need each other.

But she didn’t need him. Backing away from their kiss hadn’t been his first clue. The whole thing was poor timing on his part, unfortunately, but how did he convince the stunning woman they would make a great team?

Finally, tired of hearing his voice chasing itself round and round in his head, he said to the woman who’d dismounted Rosie, then hugged the horse’s neck, “Blake and Malorie’s wedding is only two weeks away. Do you want to go to the cottage with me and make sure everything is exactly how you want it?”

He knew she was helping Malorie plan the wedding and could almost see the thoughts whirling in her mind while she took a long look at him as she leaned against the horse.

“I was going to check in with Mal and see what she has left to do.”

He took the reins and led the horse to her stall. “I’m sure she has a lot to do with the kids, and Blake. He’s getting nervous.”

“Has he changed his mind?” Izzy pulled off the saddle and put it in the tack room on its saddle stand.

After being left at the altar, of course, that would be her first thought. He started to brush down Rosie. “No. Nothing like that. He hasn’t written his vows yet.”

“Mal has had hers written for a week,” she confirmed what Nathan already knew and laughed. “Just like a girl to be ahead of the game, right?” She held out her hand for the grooming brush. “I can do that.”

He was sure she could. He handed her the brush. The woman was amazing. “So, what do you think? Do you want to do a last walk-through? We can check on the garden, too, and see how it’s growing.”

“All right. I just want to take a quick shower after Rosie is settled.”

“I’ll put the rest of the horses in their stalls.” He headed for the pasture.

Izzy headed for the shower as Nathan closed up the barn. He wasn’t far behind her and half an hour later they met at his truck. She was dressed in a flowing, blue summer dress with thin straps that was made for her fair skin. She’d let her wild red hair hang free.

If he didn’t think she’d run in the opposite direction, he’d tell her how gorgeous she looked. He settled for, “I like your dress.”

“Thank you.” She blushed, which was the prettiest thing he’d seen in a long time. He offered his hand and helped her into his truck before sprinting around the back to get behind the wheel and start the engine.

He briefly glanced at her, barely refraining from muttering, Wow!

Izzy Payton made his heart pump like mad. She was beautiful and spunky, knew what she wanted from life—which he was only just now figuring out—and lived to make her own rules. She hadn’t been deterred no matter how much he’d grumped at her.

He could, maybe had, learned a thing or two from the extraordinary woman.

Figuring out that being buried in the past no longer served him or the ranch he loved was the best thing that had happened. He wanted to leave his mark on his family legacy and in Strawberry Ridge. And he wanted to do that with Izzy by his side.

The problem was, he didn’t know where to start.

As the sun was going lower in the sky, he parked in front of the cottage. “Shall we look inside first?”

“Sure. Malorie has added flowers to the window boxes. They look so pretty.”

The woman by his side was incredible. Nathan stood back and took her in. Before she could notice he was staring, he opened the door to the enclosed porch and waited as she went in first.

The remodel was cozy. “Malorie did a good job.”

“So did you boys.” Izzy turned in a tight circle, the hem of her dress making a twirling mass of color around her legs. “Something’s missing.”

“What?” The little cottage looked good to Nathan.

She went to the kitchen window and stared into the garden, though he thought she wasn’t seeing it. She faced him. “Have you heard the rhyme, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue ? If the bride and groom have all four things, they’ll have good luck on their wedding day.”

“Well—” He looked around. “The cottage is old, and this table and chairs that Blake found in one of the sheds and refurbished are too. Mom had them on the front porch of the main house for a long time. It could also be something borrowed. It cleaned up nice.”

“Those flower pillows—” Izzy pointed to the couch. “—will work for something new. Malorie made them. They’re her contribution to the cottage.”

“That leaves something blue.” Why hadn’t he noticed before this how much he enjoyed their give and take? Maybe he had but didn’t want to admit it.

After thinking for a moment—he liked guessing where her mind might go—she said, “I saw a beautiful blue china tea set at the Rose Tea Emporium.”

“If you want, I can pick it up for you tomorrow.” She was so independent, hopefully, he wasn’t overstepping her expectations.

She headed for the door. “I’ll get it. It’ll be my contribution to the project.” She said over her shoulder, “Let’s check out the garden.”

Nathan followed Izzy. He would have liked to go with her to get the tea set. When she suddenly stopped, he almost walked right over her.

“Look at how beautiful this is.”

“I have a surprise.” At least he could give her that. He reached for a small power box on the side of the cottage, opened the cover, and flipped the switch. Mini lights popped on around the garden.

She clapped her hands together. “Did you do this?”

“Not alone.” He had to be honest. “It took an hour for Jonas, Blake, and me to decide which lights would work best. After that, hanging them was the easy part.” He grinned.

She glanced at him, silent laughter lighting up the blue of her eyes. Finally, he’d earned some points. “Did you win high card again?”

“We decided to compromise instead. It took a while, but I think the results are good.” He crossed his arms over his chest and with a stern look, pretended he’d given them no other choice.

“All right big rancher man,” she teased, then sat on one of the benches under the trees that Blake and Jonas had made. They’d even nestled pots of flowering clematis around the wooden seating. “Do we have time to enjoy the garden before it gets too dark?”

He sat down next to her. “Take as much time as you want.”

This was all he wanted. A family of his very own—other than his brothers. A wife to sit next to on a bench on their porch. Children someday. A minivan parked in front of the main house. The whole enchilada. He’d never thought he would find a woman who complimented him as much as his mom matched his dad. Until he met and got to know Izzy Payton.

He sat up straight. He was crazy in love with the woman sitting next to him. Was she dreaming the same dreams he was?

“Um, have you decided which job you’re going to take?” He hated disrupting this moment of contentment, but he was hoping she wasn’t planning to take any of them.

She looked at him, the relaxed satisfaction that had surrounded her retreating. “I want to finish up here first, but after that, I think I’m going to take the Montana job.”

I want to finish up here first—

Montana was a long way away from the Triple L.

Losing the ranch would be unbearable. Losing Izzy was going to be worse.

“I have one last idea for the ranch,” she said in a hurry. “Since I won’t always be here, I think you could spread the word about the ranch and your Rangerbred horses if you had one or two ranch hands come periodically during your busy days to learn the ropes—”

Nathan straightened. “I don’t want a bunch of people coming and going.”

“One or two hands shadowing you is not a bunch,” she insisted.

She might be right, but Nathan couldn’t believe it. He thought she knew he didn’t was a constant parade of strangers on the ranch.

He watched a lark flit from tree to tree. He’d been selfish when he questioned his dad about his birth mother. And selfish when he’d insisted all those years ago along with Jonas that Blake had to leave and never come back. He would not be selfish now. Izzy wanted to go. He would let her. Not insist that she plant roots when she was like that lark and would someday want to fly south.

Nathan would not be the one to clip her wings. He was doing what was best for Izzy, not for himself, he convinced himself. “Montana sounds like an excellent opportunity. I think you should go.”

“You do?” She looked at him, confusion spreading across her pretty face.

He couldn’t lie to her, so he asked instead, “When do you have to let them know?”

“As soon as I can.” With her hands gripping the bench on either side of her knees, she leaned forward. “But—”

He remembered how she felt in his arms and how sweet their kiss had been, rocking him to the soles of his feet, but he wouldn’t keep hoping she was the one woman who got him.

Forcing himself to pat the hand nearest him, it was all he could do to sound encouraging. “Don’t worry about the Triple L. Take the job. You’ve got us on a good path. Jonas, Blake, and I can take it from here. This ranch in Montana probably needs you more than we do at this point.”

But not more than he did.

He just wanted her to be happy. It looked like that was without him.

The drive back to the ranch was completed in silence. He parked in front of the main house. “See you at the engagement party?” It was in three days at the main house.

He knew she hadn’t meant him to think that after all this time she knew what was best for the Triple L, and he couldn’t take back his immediate reaction to her point about bringing one or two ranch hands onto the ranch. But until the party, he couldn’t bear to hang around like a lost pup while he counted the days until she left.

“Of course,” she said quietly as she got out of the truck.

His life had not been easy for a long time. There was no reason to think saying goodbye to this woman would be any easier. “Okay. Great. I’ll see you then.”

The next morning, having gotten very little sleep, Nathan stumbled into the kitchen before the sun had risen. He made coffee and decided to skip breakfast. He wasn’t hungry. All he could think about was taking care of the horses and the barn chores before Izzy beat him to it.

While the coffee was being made, he scrubbed his face. Not bothering to clean up his beard and mustache, he got dressed.

How could he have possibly fallen so hard for a woman who didn’t understand him, and who couldn’t or wouldn’t put down roots? He tried not to see that as a liability. He couldn’t pull up his roots, either.

He’d taken care of the morning chores and was heading back to the house when he saw Izzy come out of the guesthouse. She looked in his direction and stopped as if waiting for him to come closer. He waved at her and kept going.

Already missing her, he was in the office, going over the books—the finances were looking up; not as good as they needed them to, but much better than being on the brink of a bank takeover—when he heard his brothers come in. They came directly to the office and sat in the chairs on the other side of the desk.

“So, what are you two up to?” It was always best with Jonas and Blake to take the bull by the horns and not let them get the upper hand.

“Malorie said Izzy is leaving to go to her next job right after the wedding,” Blake said severely. “What did you do?”

“What do you mean?” He didn’t want to go into his last conversation with Izzy. He was over his disappointment that she’d missed what he was trying to do with the ranch. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be the kind of man she needed, one who supported and encouraged her decisions.

Jonas leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “She told Malorie you want her to leave. You didn’t say that did you? She’s not done here yet. Why would you tell her to leave?”

“I didn’t tell her to leave. I just said she should take the Montana job.” It was the right decision. Nathan crossed his arms over his chest and stood his ground. “Look, she’s got us heading in the right direction. We can’t be selfish and ask her to stay when she’s got this great job offer.”

“You mean, you can’t be selfish—” Blake scolded softly.

Nathan jumped up from his chair. “Okay. I won’t be selfish. She deserves to be happy.”

“You don’t think she’s happy?” He could feel Jonas’s stern gaze following him as he paced back and forth in the small room. It was the same look he used to get after their dad passed and he was acting out, according to Jonas.

Stopping in front of Jonas, who was standing now, blocking his way, with Blake beside him, Nathan took a deep breath. “I can’t hold her back from doing the thing she loves. And I don’t want to compete with the lifestyle she’s made for herself. She’s good at her job. People need her magic—”

He really believed that.

Nathan ran out of words, but Jonas had more than enough to spare. He clapped Nathan on the shoulder, but his tone softened. “Don’t let Izzy get away, little brother. Not that I know a lot about love. Blake is the one who’s more comfortable with that emotion. What I do know is that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t figure out a way to be with her.” Jonas’s hand dropped. Every emotion slid from his face. “Believe me, I know.”

Nathan looked from Jonas to Blake. “I’m only thinking of what’s best for Izzy.”

“Are you?” Blake asked.

Was he? Nathan shrugged. “I don’t know what to do to get her to stay.”

“You might try telling her you love her,” Blake said. “Because you do, don’t you?”

Nathan slowly nodded.

Blake was blunt. “Well, you’d better hurry up and say something to her, because if you don’t come up with anything convincing soon, you’re going to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

His heart started to pound. What could he say when he’d already basically told her to leave? Even though he only did it with the best intentions of encouraging her to pursue her dreams.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t true.