Chapter 25

Parker and Mom showing up was expected. My brother sent me a text, notifying me that I had to go fishing with him today, and he said not going was not an option.

However, I thought they'd give it a little more time before going all full court press on showing their love. They acted like this when they knew I was hurting from being sick and realized I didn't have any true friends and the woman I thought I loved was nowhere to be found.

I wanted to have some time to sit with my thoughts about this. I need space to get past the closure I put in motion by sending that letter. A notification came through that she received it yesterday.

She's relieved, I'm sure. This relationship has seemed to be a strain for Julia for weeks, and I truly believe that she wanted a way out. She doesn't want to hurt me, and at the same time, she's already chosen her career over us succeeding together. She doesn't want this, not really, and I gave her an out by ending it.

But was a letter too harsh? I wrote it in my own hand. I didn't type it and print it out or anything like that. I wanted her to know for sure that the words came from me and not some dictation or possibly a person trying to mess with her. She's seen my handwriting. So, she would have known just that when she saw the letter.

And certified mail was the only way for me to know that she got the letter and not some assistant who reads her email or someone else screening her texts for her. As soon as I stopped being the first one to always start the daily communication between us, her forced daily check in texts stopped coming as well. If I'm honest, our communication stopped a while back since she was usually working, or I could see her otherwise distracted.

Even if I tried to break up with her through video chat, who's to say she'd actually hear me when I said the words, "We need to end this."

No, the letter was the right thing to do. It's the way to make sure Julia knows that I mean what I say, whether it comes off as harsh or not. I need her to know I'm serious about this breakup. I need to protect my heart from the same shit that's happened to me in the past. I could already see the path ahead, and it's leading me to the same place I've been many times before. I won't let myself walk that way.

"You ready?" my brother asks as he comes into the kitchen with a fishing pole over his shoulder. He's wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, and I roll my eyes when I see him.

"What?" He sounds genuinely confused.

"Parker, if you fall out of the boat wearing jeans, you'll run out of energy treading water in thirty seconds. And a black t-shirt? There's no shade on the water. You're gonna be dripping sweat before we hit the fishing spot, and I don't wanna smell that."

"Oh," he looks down at his jeans, "so I should change then?"

"Ya think?" I put my head in my hand, take a deep breath, and look back up at him. "Go for light fabric, light colors, and ditch the boots. You might as well be wearing cement blocks on your feet."

"Gotcha." He goes off to my bedroom to surely borrow some of my clothes since we are the same size.

I wasn't finished cooking breakfast anyway, and I still have to pack the soft side cooler. Can't fish with my brother all day without a cooler full of cold beer. And I definitely need some bacon before we head out. I get to work with my favorite cast iron skillet and brew some coffee as I go. Mom shows up in the kitchen a moment later, breathing in the smells of the kitchen.

"Do I smell bacon?" She looks like she's in heaven.

I smile. "Yes, you do." I pull the strips out of the pan and set them on a paper towel lined plate on the counter. "Next up, pancakes."

"Made with bacon grease?" She pours herself some coffee.

"Of course. Just the way you taught me."

She sits down and looks at me as I work. After a few moments, I can see she's gearing up to say something.

"What, Mom? You don't have to walk on eggshells with me. Say what you want to say."

"It's about Julia."

"Oh," I turn back to the stove, "forget it then."

"Ryan, please listen," she pleads.

"No," my voice is firm. "I'm not talking about her anymore. We're done. It's over. We all need to move on from the concept of me being with Julia."

"Fine." She sips her coffee and says the next words into her mug, "For now."

Parker comes back into the kitchen in khaki shorts and an off-white button-down polo shirt that looks like it's made for the beach. I look him up and down and see he's also wearing sandals.

"Better. Boy, for being outside all the time, you'd think you'd know how to dress to go fishing," I tell him.

"You know I don't fish. That's your thing. I'm just going along to keep you company. Can we go now?" Parker heads for the front door.

"You don't want breakfast?"

"You cooked?" He practically grimaces at the stove.

"Pancakes and bacon," Mom says from the table, her mouth full.

"Gross, Mom," Parker says.

She swallows her food. "Sit down and eat, now."

Parker knows she won't take "no" for an answer. We all sit at the table and have a quiet breakfast. It's a bit tense, but I'm also kind of glad to have them there. After breakfast, Parker and I head out to the lake.

As I hit the engine on the boat and get us out to the fishing spot, he stays quiet while we prepare our bait on the hooks and cast our lines into the water.

"It's silent out here. Not like back at the dude ranch." Parker looks around the lake.

"Yes," I say, "that's the point. Peace and quiet."

"Well now that I have you out here and you can't run away…"

I lay my rod down on the boat. "Parker, I swear to God, if you bring her up, I will throw you in this lake and make you swim home."

"Mom would kill you," he responds with a smug smile on his face.

"I'll take that chance," I remark, knowing full well I'd hear from Mom about how unhappy she is with me about being mean to my brother when he was only trying to help.

"Come on, Ry." He turns away from the edge of the boat to face me. "You're really gonna turn away and never look back by ending things with her?"

"Why do you care so much?" This is so unlike him.

"I thought that was obvious."

"Enlighten me, because I'm not seeing what you think is so easy to see." I open the cooler and pick up my nonalcoholic beer, pop the top off, and turn back to staring out at the lake.

"You're in love with her," he blurts out.

I turn toward him. "You're joking, right? Why would I punish myself like that? She's not interested. She cares more about her career right now, and honestly, I don't blame her. But I'm not going to let myself fall victim to that trap again."

"Oh my god, Ryan, stow your baggage and open your fucking eyes." Parker puts his hand on my shoulder. "I'm serious. Think. Hard."

I lean back against the boat shed and then look over at the steering wheel.

"Come on," I wave at him to gather up the fishing gear, "we're going back."

"All this work to get out here, to just pack it up and go back. Kinda like your relationship," he mumbles.

I pick up my beer and pour it out over the edge. "Let's go."

As we make our way back to the truck to load it up at the boat ramp, a mischievous thought crosses my mind. Without hesitation, I act on the urge and give Parker a playful shove, sending him tumbling over the edge of the dock and into the water below.