13. Galen

Chapter 13

Galen

G alen must have ground his teeth together in the night because in the morning his jaw ached as well as his back, and he had to sit up slowly. With his head in his hands, and the faint chirp of birds on the other side of the canvas roof of the tent, he waited for his head to stop pounding, but it never did.

Then he remembered the tussle between him and Bede the night before, and how he'd slipped and fallen. Not when Bede had pushed him, or even when they'd stood close in an almost-embrace, so close he could catch Bede's scent, and feel the muscles along Bede's arms beneath his grasp. No. Galen had slipped when Bede had stepped away.

Then Bede had hauled him to his feet, and that's when Galen figured out what Bede had been doing in the middle of the woods.

Bede had been crying all by himself. In the dark. Sobbing even, affected by something so deep inside of him that he'd been unable to stop even when Galen had come close to him.

The sound had made Galen's heart hurt in sympathy. And though he didn't quite know what Bede was upset about, Galen knew what it was like to have your soul ripped open by loss and grief.

The green canvas above his head glowed in the early morning sunshine, warming slowly, scenting the air inside the tent, and he knew he needed to get going. He had a job to do and a team to lead, and a tiny headache couldn't keep him in bed.

The thing to do was get moving, so he got up, dressed, and went to take a shower, and shave, and get ready for his day.

On the way back from the showers, he stopped at the first aid hut to grab some Tylenol and took two of those. By the time he made it to the mess tent, he knew he wasn't going to mention his encounter with Bede the night before.

And certainly he wasn't going to mention that Bede had been crying. A man had a right to his feelings, his privacy, no matter who he'd been before he'd come to the valley.

All of this whirled in his head as he climbed the steps to the wooden platform in front of the mess tent. Gabe was standing there, chatting with Royce, something about wild mustangs and a one hundred day training challenge.

"I couldn't do it," said Royce, sounding amazed. "But those young ladies certainly know how to make it happen." Then he saw Galen there and smiled. "Oh, my, you look stiff."

"I stumbled and fell on the path when coming back from my swim last night," said Galen. He'd not realized he showed any signs of his tussle with Bede, but it was too late now. The lie was out.

"You might use some arnica cream," said Royce.

"What?" asked Galen, blinking, looking over Royce's shoulder to the interior of the mess tent, telling himself he was not looking for Bede. "The what now?"

"Like arnica cream," said Royce. "It contains Arnica montana , which is very good for dulling pain."

"The first aid hut has some of that," said Gabe, looking at Galen with some consideration. "But it's in the drawer, not in the cupboard."

"I'll be sure to grab some."

Galen stepped to the side, and saw that yes, Bede was sitting at the long table nearest the side of the tent. He had a cup of coffee in his hands, like pretty much everyone else, but he was by himself, eyes on his cupped hands.

The memory of Bede crying, the aching vulnerability in the sound, as if his sorrow had come up from the center of his soul, made Bede seem more like an ordinary guy. One who had not committed atrocious crimes and who was not afraid to show his softer side.

And suddenly Galen felt a surge of desperation that he should get to Bede before anyone else did. So he could reassure Bede that he, Galen, was not going to tell anyone about the night before.

"How'd it happen?" asked Gabe, as Galen turned to shoulder past Gabe and Royce.

"Like I said," said Galen. "I wasn't holding my flashlight quite right and tripped over a root. Or something."

He shrugged at Gabe's raised eyebrows of surprise, and added, "Just clumsy, I guess."

The suspicion on Gabe's face raised Galen's level of worry that someone would find out about their encounter on the path and come down hard on Bede about it. By the time he was able to grab some breakfast and slide into the seat across from Bede, who looked at him with wary, dark eyes, Galen felt almost desperate to assure Bede.

Bede's hands were around a white china mug that was only half filled with very black coffee, which also looked like it had gone cold, from sitting there and being mostly undrunk. His eyes looked like he'd rubbed them raw, with half-rings of faded purple beneath.

"Hey," said Galen as he lifted a fork to dive into his stack of pancakes, a food soft enough to be chewed with a sore head. "You look like you ran into a bear in the woods last night. And lost."

"A what?" His hands tightened around the mug, his expression bleak as he looked at Galen.

Reassuring Bede wasn't going to be easy because it looked like Bede didn't want to talk about it.

At any other time, Galen would have picked up his tray and gone to sit elsewhere.

But Bede winced as he looked down, his hands flexing around the mug, and Galen knew there was a whole lot more going on than them having taken jabs at each other the night before. With purple scoops of shadows beneath his eyes, Bede looked like he'd not slept at all.

So Galen leaned forward, resting on his elbows on either side of his plate, and said, "As far as I'm concerned, I didn't meet anyone on my way back to my tent last night."

Bede blinked at him, and a moment later, Owen and Toby sauntered by them, trays in hand as they bussed their places, and the moment was taken by silent hands.

"Guess we better get to work," said Galen, shoving his pancakes into his mouth with large forkfuls.

"Okay," said Bede. Then he paused, took a sip of his coffee, and shrugged. A shrug that was so slight, it was hard to discern the I-don't-give-a-shit from the Sure-I-don't-mind-I'm-up-for-whatever .

But before Galen could respond to that, Bede got up from the table and stormed out, almost throwing his coffee mug in the bussing tub. Leaving Galen on his own, running behind his team when he was supposed to be out front, leading it.

The task that day was to follow the yellow flags they'd placed and dig up the knapweed. Which was simple enough and left Galen hoping that the day would go well, without any problems or fights.

They grabbed shovels and pickaxes from the shed by the paddock and started digging up knapweed along the road on the other side of the team leads' tents. But, in spite of the fact that they all wore their matching straw hats and looked like a team, it didn't go smoothly. Partly because Toby and Owen started off the day by competing to see who could dig the slowest and complain the loudest, as each clump of knapweed was trenched out of the ground.

Galen went over to them, shovel in hand, and opened his mouth to either encourage them, or enforce a more effective work ethic, when Bede stepped around him. Stepped in front of him, like he was the boss of everything.

"Get to work, you losers," Bede said, a low growl beneath each word. Which made Toby and Owen shut up and start digging.

Bede had stepped in, probably trying to help, but it made Galen feel inadequate as a team lead.

Galen opened his mouth, not sure whether he wanted to thank Bede or tell him to step back because he, Galen, was in charge of this particular team. A huge chunk of his earlier sympathy for Bede vanished beneath the hot sun, though he made himself shake it off, made himself focus on the work.

Because it was so hot, one of the cooks brought out a cooler full of ice and bottled iced tea and water. Galen knew he should have thought of this.

Feeling like the worst team lead ever, he made a point of keeping an eye on the time, encouraging breaks once an hour or so. He was feeling pretty good when he picked up the cooler, along with his shovel, and led the team along the path around the lake to another long stretch where they'd flagged knapweed.

This area was a little way out from where the path went into the deep woods, where the temperature felt around five degrees cooler. It was also quite near the spot where Galen had encountered Bede the night before, when Galen had been dressed in only his briefs, and the unsnapped shirt, which had danced about and not covered very much.

Making himself concentrate, Galen decided they would work on the exposed part of the path and then move into the shaded area when it got really hot, and get a good bit of work done before lunch.

Toby and Owen must have had other plans as they charged past him into the shade.

Galen was just about to open his mouth and say something about it, when Bede reached out and grabbed both of them, dropping his shovel in the process, and drew them back into the bright sunshine.

"There's plenty here to dig out here, assholes," he said, baring his teeth at them.

Galen had no idea why Bede was stepping into the team lead role yet again, but he didn't relish the idea that Gabe or anyone would find out that Galen sucked at it.

"Knock it off, Bede," he said. "This is the second time you've done this. I've had enough. It's not your job to tell them what to do, it's mine."

"Then why don't you do it then," said Bede, stepping close, chest out. "You can't let these knuckleheads slack, or they'll just keep slacking."

"If you'll let me do my job, I will ," said Galen, loudly, very nearly giving in to shaking his finger in Bede's face.

"If you would do your job, I wouldn't have to."

"I am doing it," said Galen, unable to keep his cool and totally confused as to why. "And if you would back off, I can keep on doing it."

Standing just about in the shade, their new, matching straw cowboy hats tipped back on their heads in identical ways, Toby and Owen looked like they were about to place bets on who would come out on top and be the winner in an argument that was pretty much unwinnable.

Sweat gleamed along Bede's forehead beneath the brim of his straw hat. His teeth were bared, intense, as though he was stepping back into his role as a drug lord, a kingpin directing his minions to run faster, collect more money, sell more drugs.

Up close, Bede's skin was warm, dark hair sticking to his temples as his hat flew off. In the bright sunlight, his eyes were dark, fury stirring them even darker.

Up close, the scent of his sweat swirled around Galen, alive, touching him everywhere, soaking into his lungs.

"Just stop," he said, giving in and poking Bede in the center of his very broad chest. "And don't do it again."

"Or what?" snarled Bede, spreading his arms wide as if to make himself look bigger.

Or what? Galen couldn't back up his threat, and both of them knew it. Of course he could blab about Bede crying in the darkness, though he would never do that, but the instant he thought it, he could see that Bede saw him think it?—

"Go ahead," said Bede. "Why don't you try and lead your team the way they should be led."

He stepped back, lifting his arm to wave at the pair, Toby and Owen, skulking beneath the shade of the trees.

"Go ahead," said Bede again, and when Galen tried to step back, thinking to extricate himself that way, Bede's elbow caught him across the face with a hard clip, and blood spurted from his nose, a hot red spray in the sunlight.

"Shit." That was all Bede said, as if he hadn't meant for that to happen. Funny thing was, Galen knew that.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

Galen cupped his hand around his nose, tasting the bitter copper taste in the back of his mouth, on his lips.

Toby and Owen hooted with laughter as they clapped each other on the back. Galen's hat fell off as he tipped his head back and tried to stop the bleeding that way.

Blood was leaking down his neck, even with his head back, and he couldn't hold that position for very long or go blind looking up at the sun.

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

"Hang on," he heard Bede's voice say. "Toby, get me water and ice from that chest, and Owen, see if you can't find some paper towels. I think I saw a roll in the tool shed."

Bede's hands were on Galen's shoulders, steadying him, walking him into the shade so he could tip his head back and not go blind. Strong fingers brushed his hair from his face.

"Why don't you sit down."

"Okay, yeah." Galen sat down, hiding his wince from his fall the night before, and blinked up at the pine boughs above his head. Caught a glimpse of of Bede's calm expression as he reached to take something from Toby, who had rushed up and screeched to a panting halt.

"Got both, Bede," Toby said.

"Thanks."

Then Owen came up and handed something to Bede.

"No paper towels," he said. "Just this cloth. It looks pretty clean."

"Okay," said Bede. "You guys put the tools away. Clean up and get some lunch."

With mumbled acknowledgments, and clangs of metal shovels and pickaxes, Toby and Owen rushed off.

Now, in the cool shade, Bede's focus was on Galen, and they were alone.

"Rinse your mouth with this."

Galen tipped his head forward and felt Bede's fingers, full of ice, on the back of his neck. In front of him was a plastic bottle of water, already opened, and Bede was holding it to his mouth.

Taking a large mouthful of water, Galen swished it around, glad to be rid of the hot copper taste of blood in the back of his throat.

"Now spit."

With raised eyebrows at Bede's bossy but friendly tone, Galen leaned away from Bede and spit out his mouthful of water, then gladly gulped water down when Bede held the water bottle to his mouth again.

When Bede handed him a handful of ice and guided Galen's hand to the back of his own neck, Galen sighed at the coolness, and felt his shoulders relax. Then, when Bede poured some water on the mostly clean cloth and wiped Galen's face in long, gentle strokes, Galen shivered all over.

"I didn't mean to do that, you know," said Bede. He hunkered close, one booted toe in the dirt, one hard, curved knee pressing against Galen's upper arm.

"I know." Galen took a long drink of water to give himself a moment to figure out what else he needed to say. And whether he wanted Bede to back off, or whether he wanted another strong hand full of ice pressed to the back of his neck.

He wanted the latter, so he just up and said it.

"More ice, please."

Without a word, Bede reached into the cooler and brought out a fistful of ice. Water dripped from his fingers as he placed the ice on the back of Galen's neck.

Galen closed his eyes and savored the feeling. That of not having to move for a good minute or two. That of Bede's hand on his neck, spreading out warmth from his skin as the ice melted. That of Bede's presence looming and protective.

"You got to be firm with those guys," said Bede, breaking the spell, however unknowingly.

"I know," said Galen again. He reached to wipe the back of his neck, and Bede's fingers dropped away. Then he took another huge swallow of water and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I keep expecting they'll step up and do some real work, only they never do."

"They will in time," said Bede. He stood up, grabbed more ice, and made an ice ball in the white cloth with it. This he handed to Galen, who placed it on the bridge of his nose. "I've worked with guys like this. They want to be told what to do. It makes them feel safe."

"Safe?"

He watched Bede grab the last bottle of water from the chest, open it, and lift his cowboy hat to pour it on his head. Then he put the hat back on while small beads of water ran down the sides of his face and onto his neck.

"Gives ‘em structure," Bede said with a wide smile. "Believe it or not, they love it. It tells them their place in the world, and that makes them feel safe. And when they feel safe, they'll more easily do what you ask them to do."

Galen knew that Bede had led many men in his life. He would have had to, in order to grow his drug empire. Only now, he was using that knowledge to help Galen using words and a tone of voice that Gabe or Leland might have used.

"Thanks," he said.

Maybe he'd turned a corner and maybe his days as team lead weren't destined to fail. And maybe making friends with a guy who he wouldn't have wanted anything to do with only a few weeks before wasn't a bad thing. No, not a bad thing at all.

"I'm going to change into a clean shirt," he said as he watched a bead of water trace its way across the plane of Bede's tanned cheek. "Meet you at the mess tent?"

"Sure thing, boss," said Bede. He bent to grab the small ice chest, hefting it quickly, then winked at Galen. "See you."

"See you," said Galen faintly as he watched Bede stride along the path to the main part of the compound. And mused to himself that this was not how he'd expected this morning to have gone.