Chapter Twelve

CHAPTER TWELVE

THE FOLLOWING DAY , Elizabeth was stunned when Mr. Bingley, Mr. Danning, and Mr. Darcy all appeared within ten minutes of each other.

Mr. Bingley immediately asked to see Jane alone, so Elizabeth, Charlotte, and Mary quit the sitting room to give them some privacy, even as they chattered softly in the hallway, knowing that Mr. Bingley was asking for Jane’s hand in marriage. That was all that he could possibly mean by asking to see her alone, after all.

But then a servant came to say that Mr. Danning had arrived, so they retreated to another sitting room, and Elizabeth felt her stomach sink. She did not wish to spend any more time with this man, truly, but she did not know what to do. If she were rude, it would reflect badly on her reputation. Furthermore, Mr. Danning was intimately aware of the fact that she had been scheming to improve her reputation. If he repeated that, it would not look good. She would look manipulative, in fact, and overly concerned with appearances.

It was a puzzle, and Elizabeth knew it, because everyone was worried about their reputations, but everyone was supposed to pretend as if they weren’t worried.

Mr. Danning had to be appeased, in other words.

So, she listened as he made a long speech about his own virtues, listing all the things that he had done in Elizabeth’s service, and ending by saying that he could only expect that she could have no complaints about him, none at all. “I await the praises you will sing of me,” he said. His tone indicated he was joking. She knew he was not.

She was going to have to sing his praises, and she was gathering herself to do exactly that.

When Mr. Darcy appeared.

She had never been quite so happy to see someone in her life. Here was two days in a row he had rescued her. She smiled at him, a wide and happy smile.

Mr. Darcy smiled back, and his smile was easy, also. He smiled at her with a familiarity that made her feel accepted and admired.

Mr. Danning looked Mr. Darcy over. “Mr. Darcy,” he said. “We’ve met, of course.”

“Oh, yes, Mr. Danning. We were at that hunting party last fall together, weren’t we?” said Mr. Darcy, shaking the other man’s hand. “You didn’t do as much as hunting as you did card playing, if I remember, however? You were always at the whist tables.”

Danning stopped smiling.

Mr. Darcy’s smile widened. “Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with whist myself. I know I’ve been through many a boring sermon about the evils of cards. But I don’t find any evil myself. It’s a bit of entertainment. If I find I’m losing, I simply stop playing, isn’t that so? It’s a weak man who feels compelled to ruin himself, isn’t it?”

Mr. Danning’s nostrils flared. “Oh, yes, a weak man indeed.”

Mr. Darcy shrugged. “Miss Elizabeth, you will undoubtedly be assailed by any number of men who cannot quit the whist tables these days. Your dowry is irresistible to that sort of man, so I say, you must observe him at cards before you agree to marry him.”

“Ah, yes, quite intelligent as a strategy,” said Elizabeth. “Perhaps I could host a whist party here.”

“Wouldn’t be well attended,” said Mr. Danning woodenly. “Everyone is in the country.”

“True,” said Elizabeth with a shrug.

“You don’t have any gambling debts, do you?” said Mr. Darcy to Mr. Danning.

“Trifles,” said Mr. Danning. “Only trifles.”

“Ah, yes,” said Mr. Darcy. “I find it’s best to settle up right away or you forget about those. They tend to add up, even trifles. Don’t you agree?”

“I don’t think trifles matter at all,” said Mr. Danning. “That’s why they’re trifles.”

Mr. Darcy nodded slowly. “Yes, I see. Well, it’s always illuminating to have a vocabulary lesson. Much appreciated, Mr. Danning.”

Elizabeth was trying very hard not to laugh, because Mr. Darcy was rather brilliant at this, wasn’t he? She had never seen him thus. He was usually quite straightforward in his speech, but he was making Mr. Danning pointedly uncomfortable, and she could not help but be dazzled by how skillfully he did it, because he appeared all politeness, but Mr. Danning was getting red in the face with his anger.

“Appreciated?” Mr. Danning shook his head.

“Oh, no, I meant to thank you, sir,” said Mr. Darcy. “I meant no offense.”

Mr. Danning glared at him. “No use playing innocent, Mr. Darcy. I see what you’re after. But if you’re so high and mighty and in no need of any influx of capital, why do you pursue her?”

“Oh, well, there are reasons to pursue a woman that don’t involve money,” said Mr. Darcy, smirking.

Mr. Danning realized what he’d said. His face turned even more red. He hastily excused himself, making apologies without looking at any of them and muttering his goodbyes. Then he stalked out of the sitting room.

“Well, I thought he’d never leave,” said Charlotte. “I know he was instrumental in getting us to see Lady Benlolk, but I have never really liked him.” She cringed. “Oh, I suppose that was rather bald, wasn’t it? I take it back. I’m sure he has many admirable qualities.”

“No, depend upon it,” said Mr. Darcy, “he does not.”

Elizabeth burst out into laughter at last.

He met her gaze. “Sorry. I was a bit hard on him, I suppose. But you can do significantly better than that, I must say.”

“You mean you,” Elizabeth said, teasing him.

“Oh, no, you can aim higher than me,” he said, teasing right back. “You well know this, Miss Elizabeth.”

Charlotte laughed. “Well, well, then.”

Mary furrowed her brow, watching the two of them, as if thinking deeply.

Elizabeth planted both of her hands on her hips. “That was deftly done, Mr. Darcy, so I shan’t ask again, but I have to say, if you mean to conceal your intentions, then coming to call upon me does little in that case.”

“What are you talking about?” he said.

“Mr. Darcy, would you like some tea?” said Charlotte, who was still amused.

Elizabeth threw up her hands and went over to begin seeing to Mr. Darcy’s tea. “Yes, I well remember how you take it, so no need to instruct me.” She poured and stirred and continued to talk. “You come to call and then say I can do better than you, as if you don’t wish to advertise why you call upon me, and I know it rude to ask, so I don’t know why I harp upon it. Here is your tea.” She thrust it at him. It spilled out onto the saucer.

He chuckled, taking it from her. “That was no attempt to conceal anything, Miss Elizabeth. Why, just yesterday, a carriage interrupted us in the middle of my asking you if I had any hope of you, so I think I’ve made my position on the matter quite clear.”

Her heart stopped. Right.

He sat down, sipping at his tea, looking sanguine.

Charlotte laughed out loud.

Mary got up from her chair. “Perhaps we should leave them alone.”

“No, no,” said Mr. Darcy. “I’ve no interest in being refused again.”

“I might not refuse you,” said Elizabeth, sitting down carefully, her voice soft.

He laughed. “Oh, well, that is a vote of confidence if I ever heard one.”

“Apologies,” she said, and she truly was sorry. “You would ask again?”

His neck turned red. He grew interested in his tea.

She found herself smiling. “Well, maybe we should be alone.”

He set his tea down on the nearby table, giving her quite a look. “What are you saying?”

“Oh, you know exactly what I’m saying,” she said.

“Just like that, then?” He snapped his fingers. “Why?”

“Let’s go,” said Mary.

“Yes, I think so,” said Charlotte, scampering over to take Mary’s hand.

“Wait,” said Elizabeth, looking up at them.

“Yes, indeed, don’t go,” said Mr. Darcy.

The two women both paid them no mind, however, and quit the room.

Elizabeth made a face as they left. “Oh, dash it all, I’ve pushed you into it. This is a disaster.”

“You don’t wish to marry me, Elizabeth,” he said. “You’ve made that plain. Not if I were the last man in the world.”

“Oh, you remember that word for word, do you?” She grimaced. “Lord.”

“It’s not a thing a man forgets. So, if something changed your mind, I wish to know what it is.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, I suppose. You rescued me yesterday. You rescued me today. The men like Danning, they are insufferable. I do repent of thinking such awful things about you when I didn’t understand about Mr. Wickham. So, there is no reason not to marry you, not anymore. I thought there was, but then I realized there wasn’t.”

He raised his eyebrows at her.

She drank some of her tea, looking away.

“All of this was true when I saw you at the ball,” he said. “We quarreled then, anyway.”

“I didn’t know the men would be insufferable.”

“So, you only have fortune hunters after you now and I’m preferable?”

“That sounds like a wretched reason.”

“I did say to you that you would need someone to assist you in finding your way through this new situation you’re in. I’d do that for you regardless, you know. You don’t need to agree to marry me for that.”

“I didn’t think it would be a quid pro quo, Mr. Darcy. After all, I am no prize of a bride, not to someone like you. I can only materially lessen your station in life. I had thought perhaps that there might be some way for us to be equals, though I now see it was foolish. Even if I had been able to prove my mother blameless, we would never have the same kind of wealth. Yours is inherited, generations upon generations old, and whatever it is that I have, it is not the same. We shall never be equal.”

“We are equal. Of course we are. I would not be chasing you like this if I didn’t think you were worthy of me. Elizabeth, I have been trying to explain to you, during the proposal as well, you bewitch me. I want you though I shouldn’t. I want you when it makes no sense to want you. Oh, but here I am saying these things again, even after I know they offend you.”

“They offend me less now,” she said, which was true. “I simply… I wish to know why.”

“Why?”

“Why do I bewitch you?”

“Well, I don’t know that. I just know you do.”

She huffed. “That doesn’t make us equals.”

“I think it does.”

“No, I don’t feel equal to you.”

“Well, neither do I feel equal to you,” he said.

“Because you feel superior to me.”

“No, entirely the other way round. You are superior to me .”

“How could that be?”

“A cad like me, an idiot like me who cannot speak in mixed company, how could you find me superior?” he said.

She stared at him for several moments. “Oh, all right, then.”

“All right?”

“Yes,” she said, letting out a breath. There was a long pause. “Shall I go and get them back?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Well, we are decided, are we not?”

“About?”

“I just agreed to marry you.”

“Well, that’s odd because I didn’t ask,” he said.

She threw up her hands. “If you do not wish to marry me, Mr. Darcy, then simply say so.”

He sputtered. “This… I was not… Heavens.”

“Have we even been having the same conversation?” she said, exasperated.

“I don’t think we have,” he said. “But I’d be a fool if I didn’t seize on the fact that you’ve just accepted me.” He gave her a grin that ate up his entire face. He looked quite, quite pleased with himself. “So, then, we’re engaged.”

She let out a disbelieving laugh. “Are we?”

“It seems so,” he said.

“Did I ask myself to marry you?”

“No,” he said.

“Are you sure?” She cringed. “I don’t think this went well.”

He laughed, getting up. “Come here.” He offered her a hand.

She put her hand in his, and he pulled her up. She gazed up at him, shocked. Oh, Lord, was he going to kiss her? He quite could. He’d be well within his rights to—

“What’s that expression?” he said softly.

“Nothing,” she said.

“You’re frightened of something,” he said. “Not me?”

“No, no, I just… I wondered… I’ve obviously never, erm, kissed anyone, and…” She ducked down her face, blushing, embarrassed.

“Plenty of time for that,” he said. “I would not pressure you in any way.”

She looked up at him.

“It’s all right,” he said, still grinning. “Perhaps I’ll kiss your hand. I think I’ve done that before.”

“You’re within your rights to kiss me if you wish,” she said.

“Pardon me if I’d rather not force a kiss on my intended,” he said with a laugh. He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “There,” he said softly. “All right?”

It tingled. Her body went taut. She could not breathe or speak, so she only nodded.

His smile seemed even wider.

Here was another way she was not his equal.

JANE WAS IN a state of ecstatic pleasure. “Oh, Lizzy, both of us in one day!” she exclaimed, for Mr. Bingley had proposed to her as well. “Perhaps we can have a double wedding. Perhaps we can have matching dresses. Perhaps we shall have our first babes at roughly the same time.”

Elizabeth thought about that, about babes, and about marriage, and about how that would mean that she and Mr. Darcy would have to…

And I can’t even let him kiss me, she thought.

She had another thought, which was that Colonel Fitzwilliam would have kissed her anyway, her own desires or fears be damned, and she half-wished that Mr. Darcy had done it anyway.

On the other hand, she did not wish to be steamrolled over by some man who wanted to use her, did she?

Mr. Darcy and her father drew up papers right away, and Elizabeth sat up writing letters to tell anyone and everyone. She had to inform her mother and sisters, both of her aunts, and friends back in Hertfordshire.

Plans were made, but they were not for a double wedding.

Jane and Bingley would be married in a month’s time, here in London. The banns were going to be read in Bingley’s church, and the wedding would take place there. Elizabeth would stay here until Jane’s wedding took place.

But then, Mr. Darcy said that he wanted to introduce Elizabeth to his sister, who was staying in Staffordshire, actually at the Matlock home there, where Colonel Fitzwilliam was staying, close to her mother and sisters.

It was convenient. She could go to see her mother and Mr. Darcy would go to stay with his family. He could call upon her every day, and she could get to know his sister, and then they could have the marriage there within several weeks time.

The only thing that they both were a bit worried about was the colonel.

Mr. Darcy assured her that Richard had never had any true regard for her and that he only ever wanted her for her money. It shouldn’t be any real issue, he said, and that Richard might pout over it a bit, but that he would give way and not hold it against either of them.

She was not sure if this was actually true.

The colonel must be angry with her for her trickery, after all. There had been no communication between the two of them since he had left. He had expected her to travel to the country, and she had not. What he must feel about that could not be anything good.

Now, he would find out she was engaged to another man, and this could not please him either. He would likely wish to know why she hadn’t been upfront about her feelings for Mr. Darcy. She did not know what she was going to say about that. She felt guilty for having concealing it.

And then, one day, Mr. Darcy kissed her, and it was awful.

No, it wasn’t awful , it was simply awkward. They were bidding each other goodbye one day, and she walked him to the door, and they were outside a sitting room, all alone, no one nearby.

She said, “It’s all right now, if you want to.”

“Hmm?” he said.

“You know,” she said, “you could try it now. Er, a kiss, I mean.”

“Oh,” he said, flushing. “Yes, well…” He looked at her with a determination on his countenance that did not put her in the mind of romance.

She made herself ready.

“I don’t know. You’re making that face again, Elizabeth,” he said.

“ I’m making a face?” she said.

“Oh, am I as well?” He laughed.

She laughed, too.

They laughed, too much, nervously.

And then they met each other’s gazes and the laughter faded.

He swallowed. “You must realize I’m not exactly, er, skilled at this.”

“Oh,” she said.

“I haven’t… very rarely…”

“Well, I never have,” she said. “How many other times have you?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, grimacing. “Lord, how could I have brought that up, brought up other women? What is wrong with me?”

“Of course I know there are other women,” she said.

“Well, there aren’t any now . I certainly don’t have some mistress, so you needn’t worry about that.”

“Good,” she said, because she hadn’t been worried, but now, she was.

He groaned.

She squared her shoulders. “No, do it. I mean it. Now.”

“I don’t—”

“Please, I want you to,” she protested.

So, he leaned in and put his mouth on hers. There was a dry bit of pressure, lips on lips, and then he pulled away.

She tucked her chin into her chest. Was that it?

He sighed. “It’s… I think it has to sort of happen , Elizabeth. Without… forcing it.”

So, he didn’t like it either. She could not look at him.

“Please don’t,” he whispered. “There’s nothing to it. Once we’re alone, we’ll be fine, I swear it to you.”

“Maybe it’s me.”

“Oh, please, you’re radiantly beautiful, and I’m making an idiot of myself. You are forbidden to blame yourself.”

“But there is blame to passed out?”

“If there is, it is on my head. I insist you blame me.”

“Well, did you like it?”

“Frankly, I’m too nervous and self-conscious to experience any pleasure currently,” he said with a shrug. “We shall try this again at some point, I promise.”

Then, he took his leave of her.

Elizabeth tried to speak to Jane about it, but Jane only got very red in the face and laughed and said that Elizabeth must not ask such questions.

“But,” Elizabeth said, “if a person doesn’t quite know how to go about it…”

“What do you mean?” Jane sounded angry. “Why ask me this? He should know what he’s about.”

“Well, it’s only that he says he’s not skilled at it.”

“And? What did you think?” said Jane. “I have to admit, if it were presented to me aloud, the idea of someone’s tongue in my mouth—”

“What?” said Elizabeth, thoroughly horrified. “Mr. Bingley did that to you?”

“Oh, so you don’t mean that,” said Jane, furrowing her brow. “I don’t wish to talk about this with you anymore, I don’t think.”

“But who am I to talk about it with?” said Elizabeth.

Jane only shook her head and scurried away.

Elizabeth was left to contemplate it all on her own.

Days passed, and then weeks.

The preparations for Jane’s wedding were well underway. Letters came back from their mother and sisters, who were not moved to come back to smelly and hot and dirty London for the wedding.

Their mother wrote a great deal of words about it, in fact, going on for nearly two pages about how much she wished to be able to see Jane—her firstborn—on her wedding day. She went on about how she’d dreamed of this day since Jane was born, about her detailed imaginings of it all.

But the upshot of this was only that their mother spent another page complaining about how inconsiderate it was of Jane not to travel all the way to the country and get married there, never mind the fact that it would be inconvenient for Mr. Bingley or that all the preparations had already been made here.

Some girls’ mothers would have moved heaven and earth to be there for their daughter’s weddings. Some mothers were quite pleased to stay put in the country and to be consoled with detailed descriptions of the event, which Mrs. Bennet was insistent must be made to her in the wake of it.

Jane, poor dear, actually felt guilt that she was not accommodating her mother in traveling to the country for her wedding, and she wrote back that she and her new husband would be sure to visit before the end of the fall, she promised.

It was September now, early September, and the air was not nearly as hot as it had been. The nights were growing cooler and the mornings were brisk.

Elizabeth did not attempt to kiss her husband-to-be again.

However, she and Mary did get into a discussion wherein Mary raised her voice, which wasn’t like Mary, truth be told.

“What do you mean, Papa’s going with you to the country?” said Mary.

“Well, I am getting married there,” said Elizabeth. “Besides which, it’s going to be fall, and everyone is in the country in the fall. Everyone. There will be no one left in London.”

“I can’t go to the country,” said Mary, throwing up her hands.

“You can,” said Elizabeth.

“No, I cannot, and the fact that you are taking Papa with you and trying to force me to cave to your whims is just exactly like you, Lizzy,” said Mary and stomped out of the room.

Elizabeth didn’t know what that was all about.

But it was soon settled that Mary would go and stay with their aunt and uncle the Gardiners so that she might remain in town, since it was quite important to her. Elizabeth didn’t know why. She hoped it was not concerning some stable hand named David.

But several days hence, it all became clear when a new gossip sheet was published.

It was titled The Tattle Post and it was all about their mother and Lord Benlolk. It laid bare every single awful bit of information they had gotten from Mrs. Widebottom. Elizabeth knew who had published it, and she resolved that she would never speak to her sister Mary again.