44. Cassian

44

CASSIAN

S louching in the worn leather chair at the desk in the compound’s office, I let my eyes fall shut as I pinch the bridge of my nose.

Every day is getting worse.

Every day is getting harder.

Every day is getting unbearable.

It feels like an eternity since I last saw Addi, and every minute that adds to the distance is another minute I spend questioning my decision to be here for the pack. The animosity has lowered drastically, and they’re listening to what I have to say, but the menial shit that keeps me here versus where I want to be is dragging me down.

I just need one day, one fucking day that doesn’t come with unnecessary commotion so I can slip out for a few hours and see my family. My chosen family. The one I found when I was lost, and the one I need now more than ever.

The hurried whispers drawing closer register in my mind first before I have the pleasure of seeing Janie in the doorway. She’s got her cell phone pressed against her ear and a smile on her face as her eyes lock with mine.

“Head over. He’ll be there by the time you get there,” she says to whoever is on the other end of the phone before ending the call and tucking the device into her pocket.

I don’t know what’s going on, but I know the he in her statement is definitely me.

“What now?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Maybe if you looked at your cell phone you would know yourself and I wouldn’t have to get involved,” she retorts with a cock of her brow, and I frown.

My cell? It’s here somewhere. Rifling through the paperwork on the desk, I find it hidden and set on silent. My screen brightens as I bring it to my face and panic surges through me when I see missed calls and texts from Addi, Brody, and Raiden.

“What’s wrong?” I’m on my feet instantly, charging toward Janie as she waves me through the door.

“There was an attack of frenzied vampires in the city. Nora seems to have exhausted herself with her magic and they need somewhere for her to rest and be checked without wandering eyes and the media’s attention.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Attack?

Frenzied vampires?

Nora?

Where do I even begin with all of that?

My gut clenches with an undeniable ache that refuses to wane as I swipe my hand down my face. “Where are they going?”

“Doc’s in the main building so?—”

I don’t hear the rest. With a named destination, I’m gone, using my wolf speed to cut across the compound as quickly as possible, and I manage to barrel through the doors of Doc’s setup a whole ten seconds before the cavalry arrives. It seems Janie already spoke with Doc too, because she’s all set up and ready to go without a single word offered my way.

Kryll storms the room first, Nora nestled against his chest, and I wave him farther in toward the left. Doc instantly starts chatting with them as Arlo, Beau, and Flora edge into the space, exhausted smiles on their faces, but my attention quickly moves past them.

Huddled between Brody and Raiden is the reason I breathe. Her eyes lock with mine a moment later, a small smile teasing the corner of her mouth before I eliminate the distance between us. She’s in my arms in the next breath, her warmth colliding with my chest as I pin her to me.

“Janie gave me a brief rundown of what happened, is everyone okay?” I ask, leaning back to cup her cheek and stroke my thumb over her skin. I have the urge to touch her everywhere, to confirm she’s actually here in front of me.

“For the most part. Nora just needs to rest, but Pearl… she’s gone.” I can see the pain in her eyes, the storm brewing as the desire for retribution shines bright.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help,” I mutter, trying to quell the frantic mess of my own storm brewing. The need for revenge is potent. My efforts must be miserable because Addi see’s right through me.

“Cass, are you okay?” Her palms press against my chest as I nod.

“I’m fine, we can discuss me later. Right now it’s about what you guys need, what I can do to help,” I insist, and Raiden scoffs.

“Maybe next time you can answer your cell phone,” he grumbles, and for once, I take his shitty comments and tempered wrath because I deserve it.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I admit, and he pauses, eyes narrowing on me as his head tilts to the side.

“Something is definitely wrong with him,” he states, and I try to ignore him, but it’s futile. He grabs my arm, flexing his fingers until I meet his gaze, but the anger and irritation I expect to find isn’t there. If anything, it’s almost as if… he cares. “Whatever it is, get that shit off your chest so we’re not making assumptions. This isn’t a guessing game, there’s too much at stake.” He saunters off before I can even consider a response.

Brody shrugs, a smile on his lips as he moves farther into the room, leaving Addi with me. She stares up at me expectantly, and as much as I try to shake my head and down play it, she sees right through me.

“Tell me what’s going on. It’s not the burden you think it is. If anything, it will keep me busy until Nora comes around,” she promises, nudging for me to move, and we take the few short steps to the blue sofa against the wall, collapsing in it together with a sigh.

She rests her head on my shoulder as we watch Doc disappear behind the doors with Kryll and Nora as the others settle into the other seats around the room. I give myself a moment to collect myself, but it’s easier said than done.

Thankfully, I’m graced with an extra moment when Brody saunters over to Addi with a red vial in his hand. “I’m going to go and see what we can get from this, Dagger. Call me if you need me. I’ll have the volume on my cell phone turned all the way up,” he adds, winking at me as I glare, but he doesn’t linger as he kisses Addi briefly before heading back outside.

I want to know what the vial was, I want to know where he’s going, and I want to know why it’s important, but before I can get to any of that, I need to talk about my issue first. Spurred on by my curiosity, I clear my throat.

“I’m disappointed I wasn’t on hand to help. That I had to learn there was some kind of battle after the fact.” The words burn up my throat as she lifts her head to look at me properly.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like that. We had to act fast, we were already in a royal council meeting. One thing lead to another and then we’re suddenly here,” she explains, and I try to give her a smile, but it falls flat.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I just… I don’t know how I’m supposed to do both of these things anymore.”

“The pack and me?” she whispers, her lips pinching as I nod.

She looks as helpless as I feel. There’s no right or wrong answer here and we both know it. We’re just caught in a mess of actions that aren’t always our own.

“You can.” The comment comes from a windswept Janie who enters the room in a flurry, offering everyone a smile in greeting before she turns a pointed look my way. “Do I need to repeat myself or did you actually hear me the first time?” she snarks teasingly, and I shake my head.

“I heard you, I just don’t understand,” I grumble back, and she rolls her eyes at me before settling her gaze on Addi.

“Queenie, make him the alpha of the kingdom or some shit. I don’t know the wording, but whatever it is, do it. Then he can appoint someone else to be on hand here while he’s by your side. Boom. Then you can do both things.”

I gape at Janie, my body frozen, leaving me unable to turn to Addi to gauge her reaction, but the room has fallen quiet at her outburst and there’s no taking it back.

“I can’t force him to do that,” Addi whispers, her words thundering through my veins when the door at the far left of the room swings open and Doc sticks her head out.

“You should,” she states, making my eyes widen in surprise. “Then he’s technically still our alpha, but not a grumpy asshole like he has been lately. But, only if you appoint Janie. Jake at a push, but I think we deserve a woman’s touch around here,” she adds with a wink. “Oh, and Nora’s awake, but please give me a few more minutes with her before you barge in.” She’s gone as quickly as she came and I finally turn my attention to Addi.

She’s already staring right at me, the pair of us trying to predict the other’s reaction. She won’t make a decision without my input, though. So I need to gather myself together and spit it out.

“It’s settled then. If there’s room for me,” I breathe, taking no time to consider another solution. I can’t have Addi and the others rocking up here with blood staining their clothes. I need to know in real time, not after. I can’t. I’m missing everything, not protecting her when it matters most.

“Call it,” Raiden hollers from his seat, not even bothering to look up from his lap, and Addi’s gaze flicks to Arlo.

“Are you listening, Arlo?” she asks, and he nods before she turns her attention back to me.

“It’s impossible not to when you’re all so goddamn loud,” he snarks, earning a snicker around the room as Addi’s eyes light up.

“Say it,” I beg, ready for whatever change this may bring.

“Cassian Kenner, I appoint you as the Alpha of the Floodborn Kingdom.” A weight lifts from my chest at her words.

“Except you,” I state, and she frowns.

“Except me?”

I nod. “Because you’re my alpha.”

Her smile is undeniable, and I know I’ve made the right decisions as she parts her lips.

“Because I’m your alpha.”