38. Adrianna

38

ADRIANNA

“ T hank you so much for gathering on such short notice,” I begin, completely ignoring the fact that they’ve been camping outside of the damn castle for almost two days. “I appreciate that many of you have questions about where we stand as a kingdom, and what I’m doing as queen to take the necessary steps and measures to protect us from any further attacks.”

I let my words marinate as the cameras flash. It takes everything in me not to repeatedly blink at the bright lights going off, while my wolf senses hear every murmur and whisper among them. It would be tolerable if the words were positive, but they’re the complete opposite.

Great.

“It is a difficult time for me to be so open with everyone. We’re under attack, under threat, and as much as I wish to be open and honest with the entire kingdom, it’s not possible at this time, considering the matters at hand.” Smile, Addi. Don’t forget to smile. I plaster the most sincere smile I can muster on my face, when a member of the media team shouts before I can continue speaking.

“We deserve to know how you plan on protecting us.”

Fucker.

“I understand that feeling. The need to fully comprehend what’s happening around you so you don’t feel out of control, but the reality is, if I give you those answers, I also place them in the wrong hands. If I want any chance at protecting this kingdom, then the last thing I should be doing is standing here and telling you every detail. The threat coming from Clementine is clear, and to such an extent that I have stepped back from the tour, which has thankfully resulted in no further attacks. But for how long? We’re trying to play this disappointing game as safely as possible. My priority is to have no more casualties. With that in mind, I will be freezing any calls for a speech until further notice. Being hounded by the media is as threatening as Clementine’s words painted on those walls in Glacier Lake. You chose me to rule, and that’s what I will do. Me. Not Clementine, not the media, me. I believe you voted for me because of my love for the kingdom, my determination to treat everyone equally, and my desire to have a better future. That hasn’t changed. For the foreseeable future, that is where my attention falls. Please be safe, be vigilant, and please have hope. Thank you.”

The media comes alive when I step away from the podium without a backward glance. Kryll and Raiden leave their posts on either side of the small platform to head back through the castle gates with me.

It feels exhilarating to have my voice again. I feel more like myself than I have since I was appointed as queen.

“You were perfect, Princess,” Kryll murmurs as the gates shut behind us. I smile up at him, basking in his praise.

“Apparently lunch at Pearl’s needs to happen more often,” Raiden adds, a grin on his lips, and I beam.

“That’s a firm plan if you ask me. Speaking of, does anyone know where my father is? Now that the media is out of the way, I want to have a chat with him.”

“That sounds ominous,” Kryll says, raising his brow, and I shrug.

“It feels it too, but I’ve spent every day feeling like I’m drowning, and I’m quickly realizing that’s because I’ve been trying to fit myself into a mold that’s not mine. I’ve been trying to act and behave as a queen is expected to behave, and quite frankly, that’s not me.” We reach the doors and they both turn to face me head on, knowing smiles gracing their lips. “What?”

“We’ve missed you, Princess. Glad to have you back,” Kryll states, pressing a kiss to my head before stepping inside.

“I agree with the dragon. It’s been a hot minute, but it’s good to see you glowing again, Adrianna,” Raiden adds, and I can feel the heat dusting over my cheeks. “To answer the question about your father, I believe he’s out in the meadow with Nora. Care for me to escort you?”

The meadow?

The strength that coiled through me a moment ago falters. Of all the places on the castle grounds, that’s the only one I haven’t ventured to, and for good reason. My ears tingle as if they’re preparing to be wounded once more, but I shake it off, take a deep breath, and smile.

“I think this is something I have to do alone,” I admit, reaching for Raiden’s hand. He squeezes his fingers around mine in a silent show of support before releasing me, and I take off down the hallway.

The closer I get to the meadow, the slower my steps seem to become. Or is it because they’re shorter? I don’t know. All that’s certain is with every step I take, my strength begins to waver.

I hear them before I see them, my wolf senses rearing to life, and my footsteps falter.

“Why are you so sad, Dad?” Nora asks, my gut clenching at the uncertainty in her tone. But it’s the sigh that heaves from my father’s lungs that threatens to bring me to my knees.

“I’m not sad, Nora, I’m just…” He pauses and I imagine him running a thumb over her cheek as he gathers his thoughts. “Our family endured a lot of pain out here, in a place that was once our favorite spot to visit every day.”

“It’s so pretty out here, how could that ever change?”

My pulse thunders in my ears as I follow the sound of their voices, and they come into view a few steps later, in the very spot that has haunted my nightmares for more than a decade.

“I forget that you were so young, that you wouldn’t remember what happened here like Addi does,” my father murmurs with an even heavier sigh.

I can picture my sister’s face pinching together in confusion at my father’s words, but before anything else is said, my father spots me.

A tight, sad smile spreads across his face as my name falls from his lips. Nora’s head whips round in surprise, hope and something else I can’t quite put my finger on crinkling the corner of her eyes.

“Hey,” I breathe, settling on the grass with them, listening to the trees rustle in the breeze.

“Did your speech go well?” my father asks, and I nod.

“As well as it could. What has you guys out here?” I can’t tiptoe around the small talk when my heart is racing wildly in my chest.

Nora frowns at me as my father gazes off into the distance. “Dad thinks I don’t remember what happened here,” my sister states, her voice soft and twisted.

My gaze snaps to hers, along with my father’s, as we both gape at her.

“You remember?” The question comes from my father, but it shines bright in my eyes too.

“I remember the smell of the damp air, the glowing eyes of wolves, and a bright light,” she admits, making my eyes widen. “I’m not entirely sure how they all piece together, but I don’t really understand the sadness it seems to bring you both. It’s like I have the puzzle pieces but no reference picture to tell me how they fit together.”

I nod in understanding, trying to calm the storm brewing inside of me at the memories that were formed here. Memories we didn’t want, didn’t need, but memories we survived all the same.

“This is where I hurt you.” The words burn past my lips, but I have to be honest with her. She has to see why it pains us to be out here.

Her eyes widen, but anger doesn’t flood her vision as I expect. If anything, she relaxes. “That makes sense.”

I wait a moment, then another, and another, until I’m sure she’s not going to say anything else. Clearing my throat, I place my hand on top of hers. “It makes sense, but how does it make you feel?”

Her eyebrows pinch as she settles her eyes on me. “It doesn’t make me feel anything. What happened here that night shaped us into the people we are, the people we were meant to be. The fact that we’re back here now, coming full circle, shows our strength, resilience, and purpose. I lived a life confined to a chair and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy, but it made me stronger. Now, I have the luxury of being able to walk again and I’m damn certain I’m never going to take that for granted. Ever. When I look around this meadow, all I can think about is the fact that we could have died. But we didn’t. We’re here. The three of us and the extended family that Addi has gathered around us. One that she’ll keep adding to if she carries on collecting men like battle scars, but that’s beside the point.”

“Hey!” I interject, watching the teasing smile spread across her face. “No more men. My Kryptos are more than enough,” I grumble, and she snickers.

“If you say so.”

“I do,” I insist, the panic in my chest easing as Nora works her usual magic.

I take for granted the perspective she always offers me. She’s a glass-half-full kind of girl, casting a shimmering light even in the darkest of situations. I don’t know whether she does it because she wants to gift me with her knowledge or attempt to humble me, but I’ll take it either way.

Clearing my throat, I peer at her out of the corner of my eye, but she’s watching my every move, aware of the thoughts building in my mind. “Hit me with it, Sis,” she grumbles, and I turn to her, shaking my head.

“It’s nothing bad, it’s not even related, but Janie mentioned it on the tour and with everything going on I haven’t really had time to talk to you about it.”

“About what?”

“About your wolf,” I blurt, bracing for impact.

Her sharp inhale makes me freeze, but she quickly smiles, glancing off into the distance. “That’s a side of me I’m unsure if I ever want to reveal. Not to myself, not to anyone. It feels like a connection to a woman I don’t want any part of. I want to be a fae, like Dad.” My gut twists for her as she stands, offering me a soft smile that I try to return, but I may fall short. “I’m going to head inside and take a nap,” she states before sauntering toward the house without a backward glance.

“Did I hit a nerve?” Concern floods my bones as I turn to my father, but he shakes his head.

“No, you asked her a real life question and got a real life answer. She’s finding her feet. She’s going to get lost along the way. All we can do is be there for her when she needs us.”

I will always wonder how my father stayed so calm and collected all these years. Nothing weighs him down, not truly, he simply lives for Nora and me, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay him.

On another note, I need to broach the actual reason I came looking for him specifically.

“Have you got time to talk?” I ask, and he frowns at me.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?” he asks with a raised brow, and I shake my head.

“It’s not memory lane stuff. It’s important. Ideally inside, in the fancy office you left waiting for me,” I add, trying to keep my tone light instead of coming down hard on him. The reality is, I need answers, and this man is the only one who can give them to me.

I don’t think he’s keeping them secret on purpose, but it’s time we broke through the surface and started making some headway on taking Clementine down.

“Are you going to pry my mind open and delve inside?” he asks with a grin, standing before offering me his hand.

I place my palm against his, letting him lift me to my feet before I answer. “Not if you can answer everything freely.”

I’m joking, and I hope the lilt to my voice confirms it, but the seriousness behind the situation is real and I know he can see it.

“Whatever I can do to help, Addi girl. I’m right here.”