23. Cassian

23

CASSIAN

M y plea hangs in the air, dancing with the breath that lingers between our lips as she blinks up at me.

Kiss me.

Two words, two sources of pain, two heartbeats joined in every way possible.

Kiss me, and everything is going to be okay. Kiss me, and I’ll see the shimmering sun through the trees that cloud my vision. Kiss me, and I’ll know we’re going to be okay.

My stomach clenches as one second morphs into two, but before we reach the third, her fingers curl into the neckline of my tee as she eliminates the space between us, effectively crushing her lips to mine.

It’s warm, it’s real, it’s everything.

Stroking my thumb over her cheek, I pull my mouth from hers, despite my body’s need to take all of her warmth. Searching her eyes, all I find is the sincere love that matches the need inside of me. My stomach clenches, tangling with the bond that resonates in my gut, confirming that we’re both here, both present, both needing the other.

Determined to find the words instead of just taking from her like I always do, I swipe a hand down my face while tilting her head back with the other. She has no choice but to look deep into my eyes, and she does so willingly.

“You’re everything, Addi. I don’t want you to do this without me,” I admit, the burning in my chest spreading as the truth leaves my mouth. I’m tangled up in the mess at the compound, which leaves me out of her inner circle, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there.

“That’s because you have a tendency to be selfish,” she muses, a soft smile tilting the corner of her mouth as she gives me a pointed look.

“When it comes to you? Always.” I’m not sure if it’s a statement or promise, but she seems to preen at the words as her hold on my tee tightens.

“We’ll be okay,” she breathes. Again, a statement or promise, I’m not sure, but when it comes to the two of us, all we ever want is one another. Even when we refuse to admit it. We’ll take what we can get, and that doesn’t change now. No matter how much it pains me not to be at her side, I know she was made for me because she’s able to stand on her own two feet.

She’s stronger than me, mentally at least, but whatever I lack in that field I’ll make up for physically and I’ll protect her with every ounce of my being. This is what’s drawn me to her this entire time, and now, when we’re tested, I’m forgetting all of it because I want to be at her side with the others.

“I have no doubt that we’ll be okay, Alpha, I just don’t like being without you. It feels like a blessing and a curse that the guys will be with you. The protective part of me wants them with you every moment I can’t be, but the other side of me wants you all to myself.”

“It’s not forever. All of this mess is a problem now. It can’t go on forever, we won’t allow it. So be with me now. I have until the morning, earlier if Arlo finds me with a to-do list, but right now, I just want to be with you.”

Fuck.

Maybe she’s as selfish as me sometimes.

My first instinct is to reach for the waistband of her pants, but I pause, searching her eyes. “Do you trust me?” I ask, and she scoffs.

“With my life. That’s a stupid question. Next one,” she muses, cocking a brow at me, and I fight to hide the smile threatening my lips.

“Take off your crown,” I order, and she reaches for the dazzling jewels on her head without a single pause. “Can you do something to protect it?”

She shakes her head as she steps toward the dining table to my left. “I’m a fae, not a mage, Cassian,” she teases, and I roll my eyes.

“Well, damn. You have so much power and so many supernatural abilities now I thought for sure you would be a magic-wielding fae-wolf by now,” I retort, and her head falls back as a laugh bursts all the way from her gut.

The sound is like magic itself.

“Becoming a wolf only amplified my bitchiness. Imagine if I was able to practice magic as a mage? With the wisdom I've already got, I’d be insufferable.” The humor in her voice is exactly what I’ve been longing for.

Everything at the compound is a mess, and I’m drowning in it, but she doesn’t need to know that. I can handle my troubles, and telling her would only leave her spread even thinner. Instead, I’m going to make sure I can hear this sound again and again to remind me what it’s all for.

She places the crown on the dining table like it’s not a significant royal artifact, but before I can voice my uncertainty, she’s moving back toward me.

“Attempting to protect it would only draw more attention to it,” she states, and I rub at the back of my neck nervously. “What?” she asks, running her fingers down my arm, and I groan.

“Maybe I didn’t think this through,” I grumble, reminders of the last time we were here swarming my thoughts.

They’re dead, Cass. He’s dead.

“Think what through?”

I shake my head. “I wanted to give you a moment to connect with your wolf before you left. I get the feeling there’s not going to be much time for that while you’re gone, and she’ll get angsty if you don’t let her out,” I mumble, back tracking on my idea, but she grabs my hand and tugs me toward the door. Her eyes are wide with excitement as she reaches for the handle, but pauses before she opens it.

“The cabin is already protected, right?”

“Yeah.”

With that one word, she swings the door open and steps out, rushing to the tree line without a thought, tugging me along with her.

“Take me, please,” she says as she turns to me with wide eyes.

“You’re sure?” I double check, her excitement infectious as she nods eagerly.

“I honestly couldn’t think of anything more freeing right now, and I didn’t know I needed it until you brought it up, but you better hurry before my wolf gets the idea that she can actually be your alpha and lead the way. I really don’t know where I’m going.”

Love blossoms in my chest, zapping through my veins as I pull her in close. “Anything for you, Alpha,” I promise with a wink, kissing the corner of her mouth before I step back and shift.

My paws hit the ground with a thud, my wolf stretching as my eyes remain fixed on the white wolf that appears before my eyes. Cutting the distance between us, I rub my nose along the side of her fur, nestling tight against her as I cherish the moment.

“I love you.” The thought leaves my mind, making my heartbeat ricochet in my chest as she nuzzles closer.

“I love you too.”

Her words in my mind are everything I need.

It’s all possible for her, with her, because of her. I just have to remember that. Queen or not, she is mine and I am hers. Fated mates be damned. She’s my wolf. My mate. And I’m going to take this moment of peace to bask in our connection before the darkness finds us again.