Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

R aphaella

Russian thugs.

Yes, I'd been taught to hate all Russians. It had been ingrained in me. I'd been told never to go to Brighton Beach under any circumstances. My father had put the fear of God into me, trying desperately to make me believe if I did, my heritage would be sniffed out by a pack of wild dogs. After that, I'd be dragged to some murderer's house where I'd be dismembered and tossed into soup.

It was funny how the incidents of the past two days had brought out certain things my father had said, rules he'd imposed that I'd tried to forget.

I'd sat in the chair in the lovely room, trying to put everything into perspective. Around Aleksander, it was impossible. I'd met the two shadows, both men respectful but obviously just as dangerous as their boss.

Both were good looking, although the one with the scars was scary looking. They didn't tell me anything about themselves and I didn't ask. It wasn't their place to get friendly.

I turned my head, studying my fiancé. He'd removed his coat and tie, almost allowing himself to seem relaxed, yet in doing so, he simply highlighted the huge weapon he was carrying.

My purse was in my hand, although it only contained my identification, a Chapstick, and the keys. I'd noticed my phone was missing only after being forced into the room. At least it was sunny, facing the beautiful pool and also allowed for a view beyond. Which had allowed me to notice how many houses were close by. Ten. Ten possibilities of escaping.

Unless he owned everyone and everything. I wouldn't put it past him.

Now I was sitting in the passenger seat of the most gorgeous Ferrari I'd ever seen. While newer, the style reminded me of the one Thomas Magnum had driven in Magnum PI .

"The car is beautiful," I said because the silence was driving me crazy.

"She's my baby." His words sounded stilted. Even his jaw was clenched.

I already realized I didn't know shit about the deal the two organizations had entered into. I'd acted like the princess the man had called me and deservedly so. "Caspian is autistic. He's high-functioning, and through work both his teachers and I did with him, he's perfectly capable of living a normal life. He's acted like a normal kid over the years. He was friends and even managed to snag himself a girlfriend this year. I've met her. She's really cute and seeing them together gave me renewed hope in relationships."

"I didn't know that."

"Oh, I assure you that my father wishes Caspian was never born, so you can imagine no one knows his son was born defective. When I was a young girl, my father almost dropped him off at an orphanage, screaming at my mother that she'd produced a vile heir. Neither of them had wanted to take much time with him if any at all. I hated my father for the way he treated his own son. But I'd taken it upon myself to try and contain his outbursts. I was the one who bought him his first science kit. I cheered him on when he almost blew up his room creating a super spectacular volcano."

When I laughed, I sensed the information was a bit troubling for the brooding Russian.

"Anyway, one of the few things that he liked outside of books and scientific experiments was Magnum PI . Do you remember that show? No, you probably never watched anything pleasant on television if you watched it at all. Or maybe you were into true crime including about serial killers, preferring to see people dissected to give you ideas."

I almost regretted what I said but the words came out before I could stop them.

"I'm sorry, Aleksander. I blocked out memories of my father and hadn't realized it. But now maybe you understand why I was trying so hard to protect my brother. My father knew using him against me would force me into doing whatever he wanted. I never thought he'd go this far but I should have opened my eyes years ago. My father is capable of anything, including tossing aside his own family."

He was silent for a few seconds, his index finger tapping on the steering wheel. "When I was a boy, my father suggested I become an engineer. He knew my affinity for all things mechanical. I've been able to fix broken items for as long as I can remember. My mother used to marvel at it. Unfortunately, that was before he was offered a job he literally couldn't refuse. It was either attach his loyalty to the Bratva or face a punishment for daring to steal twenty thousand dollars from one of the businesses. Back then, crime syndicates were very brutal, the reputation the Russians were given very much accurate. But my father was suddenly being called a predatel′ ."

"What does that mean?"

"Traitor. Our house was set on fire. My mother's car blown to bits. I didn't know what was going on but I was followed at school, some bullies sent to beat me up."

"Oh, my God." I couldn't believe this was the life we'd both been born into. "Did your father stop them?'

"He didn't think an eleven-year-old boy would be touched but when I came home bloody and covered in bruises, not only was he forced to admit what was going on with my mother, but he relented, joining forces. The sad thing was that our life got much better. My mother had a better car. We moved into a nicer house. I was sent to private schools and my tuition paid for Harvard. I no longer wanted to be an engineer. I didn't need to fix anything around the house. Everything was taken care of for me."

"That must have sucked."

He laughed and made a turn, immediately glancing into his rearview mirror. "Honestly, at that point, I did what I could to pretend my father wasn't out killing whoever he was assigned to murder. It was easy when I had so many toys and books. I knew in the back of my mind that my father had turned into a monster, but it was easier to avoid facing the truth. I do understand you were just attempting to live as normal of a life as possible, but both our past and whatever legacy we were born into have a way of catching up with you."

"I know. I believed I could live a fantasy, yet I didn't push very hard to do so. I think I always knew the guillotine was going to drop or the boogeyman would find me in the middle of the night. I don't know. I guess I was a fool."

"You're not a fool, Raphaella. At least up to this point you haven't been. You wanted more out of life. As much as bursting your bubble isn't what I want to do, I'm afraid your life is everything your father wanted it to be. By the way, I tried to pretend I could live without the Bratva blood in me, but the day I met Vadim, I hungered for all the wealth, all the toys money could buy."

"How could you stand being friends with him after what his father had done?" I was incredulous, studying him as if the man had two heads.

"My father got himself into the mess he found himself in. He knew better. Everyone who dares go against the Bratva knows they're on a short leash. And Vadim was more like me, a very young man with big ideals. He wanted to change how his father handled running the businesses. He used to run ideas by me, finding the most lucrative and very legitimate businesses. His father had been in the traditional syndicate business of drugs, women, blackmail, and extortion. He didn't know what to do with Vadim's brilliant ideas, and they were brilliant."

"But the Bratva aren't completely legitimate."

He laughed. "No, but enough so we usually don't have issues with the Feds and certainly not local law enforcement. He does what he can to give back to the community as well. We developed a tight bond, tight enough that either one would die for the other. Now, I don't plan on that, but being his Councilor is something I'd proud of. As crazy as that might sound."

"He seems very nice."

Another laugh was followed by a slight growl. "That's not the way you acted on the ride back to my place."

I shrugged but shivered instead when he placed his hand on my knee. Even through the dense material, the pressure was similar to the way he'd enticed my clit. I didn't want to have these feelings for the man, but seeing his slightly vulnerable side, just a little bit of the man underneath the monster in expensive suits was stirring something in my tummy.

"I know. I've built more than one wall around myself. It came easily and naturally."

"One day, Raphaella, I do hope you can trust me. I'm not planning on ruining your life by any means. I don't need to push you into a cage or a box, but we need to see eye to eye on a few things."

So much of me wanted to balk against what he was saying but I knew it to be true. If we weren't completely bonded together, at least in appearances, it would be like going against a thousand swords.

It was time to grow up. Past time.

And face the music.

We both remained quiet as he finished the drive to my apartment. He was forced to park on the street, the men following us as well. Even before stopping the car, he glanced up at the floor where I lived. "I need my men to check out the area."

"Please don't tell me you're going to command them to break in and scare my roommates half to death."

"No, but ensuring our moves weren't anticipated and that we weren't followed is something else entirely. Anything could be used as a way of digging a hole big enough to attack through."

The fact he was going to wear his weapon right out in the open forced another series of shivers down my spine. While he knew covert actions better than I did, the entire situation still unnerved me.

"Besides, the sooner you can leave the apartment the less likely your friends will be made targets."

He was out of the car before I could say anything. As he walked around to open my door, I peered up at the windows. There was no way of telling if either one was home. None of us had a vehicle but I had to be prepared.

What the hell was I supposed to say? Hey, girls. Look at this hottie. We met, fell in love, and are now getting married. In two fabulous days . Right. That wouldn't fly. Yes, they knew about my father but believed him to be a sweet, doting older dad and nothing more. Putting the fear of God into them wasn't good for anyone.

Ivan led the way into the building, Kristoff remaining behind us. They were silent, stealthy in their actions. I sensed extensive training. Maybe I should be glad for that fact. When we'd left Aleksander's estate, I'd noticed additional vehicles, men walking the property. He was worried there'd be a hit.

I had to face so many terrible facts that it felt as if I'd fallen off a cliff directly into a nightmare.

As we entered the building, the men did an immediate sweep. I'd seen the actions before in my father's men but had pretended they didn't matter. However, I'd gleaned more from them than I'd ever let on to anyone.

I removed my keys from my purse, my hand shaking for no real reason. I still didn't know what to say about his sudden appearance in my life, but I'd figure something out. I was damn good at winging it. Right?

When I reached the door, Ivan flanked one side, Kristoff the other. Aleksander placed his finger across both lips in a reminder to be quiet.

While he allowed me to unlock the door, opening it slightly, after we heard nothing for a few seconds, he moved inside first. This was the first time he'd removed his weapon and as he held it in his hands, I was struck by how natural it seemed to him.

A natural born killer. Was there such a thing or were they all trained?

I waited in the tiny entrance foyer, realizing both girls were out.

Aleksander moved through the small apartment. That took him less than two minutes. When he returned, he nodded to me.

"I know these are your things, but we can't waste but so much time. Okay?"

"Understood."

"My men have been asked to grab your… pottery lathe." He studied my reaction and in truth I was touched.

"It's a bit heavy. And awkward."

"Don't worry. Your baby will be safe with me. Go get some other things together."

It was strange to be in the apartment where my besties and I had enjoyed scouring Goodwill and cheap stores to find creative pieces to turn the little place into a home. It felt as if I'd never see it again, or my friends for that matter.

I refused to take anything that belonged to the three of us. Except for a special mug they'd given me together, the gift something I'd cherished for almost two years. I found it in its place in the cabinet. I didn't use it often because I was worried about breaking it. At least it was a good memory that I could take with me.

Yet as I walked into my tiny room, the first thing I noticed was the stuffed bear I'd had since I was a kid. I'd washed it dozens of times, but the fluffy beast was still rough around the edges. The ruthless man could make fun of me all he wanted, but I would never go anywhere without Mr. Bear.

I didn't care how old I was or if I got married. When. Shit. My little bear had seen me through all the arguments I'd heard between my parents, the tears I'd shed from being kept in a gilded cage. The loneliness from being allowed only a few friends. He'd developed a personality over the years, his company better than most humans.

I moved further inside, instantly heading for my closet. It was little more than a shoebox but large enough for what few clothes I had to hang on hangers. Since I wasn't a frilly girl, I had three dresses, one I wasn't certain fit any longer, three blouses, and the cheap suits I'd purchased at a secondhand retailer.

At least my dresser drawers had a few more items including jeans, sweaters, and underwear. They were crammed full, difficult to close. Nothing was sexy and nothing was anything Aleksander would like. But I didn't care.

With only two suitcases, I'd need to choose carefully. Plus, I had additional makeup and other toiletries. After tossing the cases onto the bed, I moved to the other side, grabbing Mr. Bear and sitting down. The window was old and fogged up, but it had given me a view of the world, hopes for the future. How many dreams had I planned over the years?

I hugged him tightly, whispering that everything would be okay when I wasn't certain how it could be. There were about a million reasons I shouldn't be angry with myself for the single tear that slipped past my lashes but I'd told myself I could be strong. Very strong. This just wasn't going to do.

"I need to suck it up. Right, Mr. Bear?"

"If you're talking to Mr. Bear, something terrible must be wrong."

Hearing Jackie's teasing voice allowed a smile. I quickly wiped the tear away before standing. "It's complicated."

She walked further into the room, noticing my closet door was open and the suitcases were on the bed. "There are three handsome guys standing in the hallway and in the living room. Granted, they remind me of hired guns since they're all packing, but that's not abnormal in your life. Right? They almost didn't let me in. What the hell is going on? You disappeared without a trace. I tried calling but it went directly to voicemail. One of the guys is dismantling your sculpting studio."

I placed Mr. Bear onto the bed and went to the dresser, already starting to pull out a few things. "Things have changed in my life."

"You're moving out?" She seemed incredulous.

"I don't want to, trust me. Dear Daddy made a deal to keep a war from starting."

She walked even closer. "You're scaring me. What does that mean?"

A part of me was terrified of telling her the truth. She was a tenacious girl, her mother famous enough from being on Broadway the family had connections to some pretty influential people in town. Trying to tell her she was in horrific danger and needed to stay away just wouldn't do. "I never lied about who my father is. Never. I just didn't understand the dark depths he'd go to so his business wouldn't be destroyed."

"Yeah, I know. A merciless bastard if you ask me."

I threw her a look, still smiling. I filled one suitcase within minutes. I'd need to make some choices about what to take. "Yes, more than you know. You've also read the papers, seen news reports. There are other crime syndicates in New York and all this infighting. One wants to snag the other's territory and will stop at nothing."

"Yeah. What are you getting at?"

I moved to the closet, trying to decide what to take that I would need. "Well, I don't know details of what happened yet but evidently, there was a war about to develop on the streets. Like the old days where a lot of innocent people got hurt. Anyway, Daddy made a deal with the Bratva to keep that from happening."

The fact she remained quiet didn't mean she didn't have a concerned look on her face.

"So, I'm getting married. Ta-da." I found the courage to look at her, noticing she was working hard at not saying anything in a retort. But the fearful look in her eyes I'd seen dozens of times in mine.

Jackie finally pressed her hand across her mouth, moving toward the bed and immediately grabbing Mr. Bear to squeeze as she sat down.

The silence was so awkward, adding to the despair I felt.

I had to finish getting my shit ready. I wouldn't be given another chance.

"Is the man at least good looking, not some old fart?" she asked in a far too demure voice for the gregarious girl.

At least we could both laugh. "Well," I said as I turned around, leaning against the edge of the dresser. "The hottie in the living room? The one who looks like he should be on the cover to GQ Magazine ?" I left the question open-ended.

"No way. You're kidding?"

Her reaction almost surprised me.

"No, I'm not. Aleksander Semenov. All Russian and all male."

"Whew." She fanned her face.

"You should see him in… less clothes."

"Well, think of it this way. At least you aren't stuck with a pudgy, balding man who smells bad."

We were both able to laugh and speak of the devil, Aleksander walked to the entrance, shifting his gaze back and forth. When he looked at me lately, it always seemed as if the man was undressing me within his eyes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but five minutes. We can't take any more time than that," he said.

"I'm almost ready."

He hesitated before nodding and walking away.

Jackie fell back onto the bed. "Wow, baby. He is hot. And that accent is to die for. Imagine him in bed, that huge body weighing you down as he fucks you, whispering words in Russian. Wowza."

"You are incorrigible." But that's all I'd been doing lately, other than plotting to drive a knife into my father.

"I am. Is he… nice at least?"

I grabbed the dresses, blouses, and a couple of suits, doing my best to jam them into suitcase number two. "Yeah, he is. Actually, he's not what I expected at all. Don't get me wrong, he's deliciously dominating."

"It sounds like you already like him."

Shrugging, I tossed the last few things before toiletries into my bag, feeling heat rising on my face. "The bad thing is that I do. But I can't stop being angry with my fucking father."

"I would be too, honey, but I know you. You'll make the best out of this."

She trailed behind me when I moved into the bathroom, remembering I had a toiletry bag. "I'm going to try."

"Does that mean Angie and I will never see you again?"

"I don't honestly know."

"What about the wedding?"

"We haven't even talked about it yet but if I can invite anyone, I promise you both of you will be on my list."

"Hold on. We won't be your bridesmaids?" She acted incensed but I knew better. A sadness had finally formed in her eyes, which was exactly the way I felt.

"I don't know if I'll be allowed to have any." My words hit her hard, her entire face becoming haunted.

"Oh. Well, I hope you can keep in touch at least."

I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't certain about that either. There was no sense in making her worry more. I closed the case, returning to the bedroom. It took everything I had after shoving it into the second suitcase to zip it closed. But I managed.

"Well, Mr. Bear. Looks like I'm carrying you."

"Oh, I have a couple books I borrowed. You know, the hot stuff. Let me get them for you."

"Don't bother, girlie. I don't know how much reading I'll be doing either." We stood staring at each other as the heaviness of what I was facing settled in. "Give me a hug."

It felt as if I'd never see her again and I hated that more than anything.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss both of you. You'll tell Angie what's going on?" I had to pull away for fear I'd be reduced to a sobbing mess.

"She'll be pissed she missed you, but she'll understand. It's not going to be the same, although we'll fight for your room." Her grin had returned. "What about the rest of your stuff?"

"When you get a chance, put it in a box. I just don't know yet." I struggled to grab both suitcases and Mr. Bear, but she grabbed one from my hand, giving me a nod to try to add her support. There were few words that could explain this kind of situation to any normal human being.

She followed behind me as I returned to the living room. Aleksander immediately nodded to Kristoff, who grabbed the bags from our hands. If he noticed Mr. Bear, he didn't react.

"I'm ready." I clung to Mr. Bear like he was my only lifeline. In a way he was, a moment from my real past.

"Good." Aleksander gave Jackie a nod as well.

"I hate to ask this but what about this place? Didn't your dad rent it for us?"

"I assure you not only will you continue to have access, but I'll make certain your rent is paid at least through the rest of the year. I will ask one thing in return. Do not tell anyone we were here or why your friend left."

Aleksander's voice was just as authoritative as usual.

"I can do that and thank you. Just… Mr. Semenov. Take care of my friend. She's been through a lot in her life and doesn't deserve to be with an asshole. I'm sorry if that's crude."

He smiled, which surprised me. "Not disrespectful at all. I promise you with my life I will keep your friend safe and try to make her happy."

Jackie took it like he was looking for some kind of affirmation. She smiled and turned to me. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you. Think of me when you and Angie eat Chinese food." The laugh we both issued was bittersweet and it was all I could do to get out of the apartment without sprouting tears.

I had a feeling my despair would continue for a long time to come.

And it already haunted me.