Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Three

Elizabeth greatly enjoyed the journey to the south.

The carriage ride from Pemberley to the south was taken in smaller stages than the ride north. Despite Elizabeth's insistence that she was not particularly delicate, Darcy had a strong instinct to constantly mother her.

They made a virtue of this slowness and had lovely walks about fine old villages, frozen picnics on fine promontories — which were managed by eating whilst wearing gloves and walking around stamping their feet, and they toured several lovely old churches.

Life glowed for Elizabeth.

Darcy was home, they made love every night, and often during the day. Georgiana grew yet dearer to her heart, and Pemberley was an exquisite jewel during wintertime.

She was happy.

Happier than she'd ever been before.

Yet as they finally came deep enough into Hertfordshire that she recognized the roads, her feelings tended more to a sort of anxiety about meeting her father than anything else.

They had not spoken a word directly to each other for the five days preceding her marriage. And that was what her bones remembered now — the anger, the pain, and the fear of those days.

Part of her almost wished that they had not come south.

It would have shocked no one if they did not travel three days to be present at a wedding.

In the end, however, it was not as difficult as she had expected to meet Papa.

He was, after all, in the midst of a crowd of other dear relations invited by Bingley to be present at Netherfield for the whole day when the Darcys were expected to arrive.

Mama embraced Elizabeth, kissed her, and said that she looked lovely. Kitty and Lydia at once crowded around her, demanding that she intercede with Papa to convince him to relax the restrictions he'd of late placed on Mr. Wickham.

This made Elizabeth search worriedly for Georgiana's face, to see how she took the mention of his name. Fortunately, Georgiana appeared unaffected, and she simply shrugged at seeing Elizabeth's gaze on her, as though to say that she knew Wickham was here, and she was comfortable.

Papa did look at her, and there was awkwardness. They did not kiss on the cheek, and in the end, they did not shake hands.

Elizabeth was glad that he had not tried to make her give him a kiss or an embrace. But she also wished she had been willing to do so herself.

He did say, with a real feeling in his voice, that he was glad to see her, and that she looked very well. "I am very well," Elizabeth replied.

Her sister, Mary said, "No man can thrive without a good wife. I see that you have taken such wisdom to heart."

Hearing that, Elizabeth and Darcy looked at each other. He did not smile at all, but she could tell from his eyes that he was as amused by what her sister had said as she was.

Darcy said, "She is a woman of surpassing wisdom."

Miss Bingley was present, though Mr. Hurst and his wife had remained in London. On the surface Bingley's sister was everything that was friendly and warm towards Jane and Elizabeth. But it was clear that on Jane's part the friendship could not be as warm as it once had been.

Elizabeth was the happiest by far to embrace Jane, to introduce her to Georgiana, to give Bingley her hand as a brother and to simply be wholly and incandescently happy while surrounded by those she loved best.

She did keep a close eye upon Mr. Darcy, to ensure that her mother and sisters did not annoy him indecently — though she rather hoped they would annoy him decently.

Fortunately, at first, he chiefly conversed with Bingley and Mr. Bennet.

Mama wanted to hear every detail of Pemberley and Darcy's house in London directly from Elizabeth. "Oh, I would have liked so much to see it, Bingley says that there are water closets installed everywhere."

"Everywhere, and more," Elizabeth replied with a laugh. "But still an older style, more marble, but less function than the ones Uncle Gardiner has."

"And you have hardly dressed as you ought. Why this dress, I think I recognize it, even though it has been remade. Should you not wear more lace?"

Elizabeth shook her head and smiled. "There was not sufficient time when I was in London to properly shop for a newer wardrobe — Mr. Darcy's cousin, the Viscountess Hartwood, is famed as one of the most fashionable women in town. I intend to ask her to give me an introduction to the best dressmakers."

This was something that forgiving her father, and fully coming to accept herself as Darcy's wife, let her do.

This was her position now, and she would dress the part. Though Elizabeth would not follow Lady Susan in spending the majority of her funds on clothes, and in fact she intended to set aside a large portion of her funds against future contingencies — after all, she still did have three unmarried sisters.

A worry about money was something her mother had successfully transmitted to her — and Uncle Gardiner had given her a sense of its hard value and importance. She had a little of the dreaded mindset of a cit . But Elizabeth was happy for her own peculiarities.

"Oh," Mama sighed, "You will be so beautiful! Such jewels. Such silks. Do you wish me to come with you to London to aid you in shopping when you return to town?"

"No, no," Elizabeth said hurriedly. "You did so much for Jane, and she shall need your advice in setting up her household."

This brought Jane's gaze on her, with an almost betrayed look.

Elizabeth mouthed, "My apologies" to her sister when Mama was not looking at her.

Jane laughed.

Pleasant situations often do not last so long as those enjoying them might wish.

While Elizabeth had talked to her mother, Lydia started a conversation with Darcy and Mr. Bennet, and then suddenly her youngest sister shouted so that everyone in the room could hear: "You should apologize to him! It is wrong, and even if no one else will say anything to you, I won't forget my real friend! You stole his inheritance from him, and now you exclude Mr. Wickham from all the fun that will be had. I know you told Papa to not let Wicky ever visit."

"I believe I was the one who did." Elizabeth stepped forward with fake calmness. "I certainly advised him by letter to exclude Wickham."

"I had already decided to," Mr. Bennet said in a fey tone, "soon as we returned from London. I in fact think it might be best if no officer is ever allowed to step within a hundred feet of the house."

This made Kitty cry to hear. "No, Papa! You can't!"

Lydia glared at Papa. She turned to Darcy. "I know injustice, and I'll speak against it. Even if you burn me like the Romans burned the ancient Christians."

"Lydia!" Mama screeched. And then in a terrible stage whisper that carried everywhere. "You can't say that to Mr. Darcy, he is ten times Wickham's consequence, and he is your sister's husband. Apologize."

"I would not care if he was a hundred times Mr. Wickham's consequence! Wrong is wrong."

"What if," Mr. Bennet asked in an amused tone, "he was a thousand times? Or a million times. Is there a limit to your unconcern?"

"If you do not give him his inheritance," Lydia said, "I will not speak to you again."

Elizabeth saw to her relief that Darcy did not look enraged, only thoughtful, while Georgiana looked at Lydia with what Elizabeth saw was deep concern.

After consideration, Darcy said, "He is not an honest man. Nor a good one. I think you have been too influenced by him. He received his inheritance in full, one thousand pounds as a direct bequest, and a sum of three thousand pounds in exchange for giving up his rights to the living at Kympton."

"You are lying," Lydia said, but Elizabeth knew her sister well enough to see that she was rattled by what Darcy had said. "You didn't give him anything."

"I can send for the papers in which Wickham signed the agreement that said this was sufficient compensation. They are at Pemberley, but I would be happy to go to the expense of sending a man to retrieve them, if that would satisfy you."

Lydia stared at him, her lips trembling.

"He is not a good man," Georgiana squeaked out. "You must not believe what he tells you."

"I do! And I do not forget my true friends." Lydia whirled away from them and stalked to the drawing room door. "I shall go out to the carriage, as I do not like the air in here."

Papa sighed, bowed to everyone, and said, "I think I ought to keep an eye, or even both, on my daughter. I apologize for her."

"Well, well." Bingley coughed as Papa left. "Uh… I have always admired Miss Lydia's ability to make a social gathering more interesting."

Elizabeth felt deeply anxious looking at her husband. They had been in Hertfordshire for less than an hour, and already her family had made a terrible display of themselves. She knew that he was determined to show them respect, but she hated to see him exposed to that portion of her relations that often did not deserve it.

Darcy smiled warmly at her, and he stepped over and took her hand warmly and caressed it. "You ought to tell her as much as is necessary, so she understands who Wickham is."

"No, no. It will make no difference if what you said does not — thank you. That… I thank you, on behalf of Lydia and my family, for explaining your business. I know that is difficult for you."

"Much as I may respect them," he said in a voice that made her nearly melt into the floor, "I believe I thought mainly of you."

This moment of connection ended when Mama approached them and floridly apologized to Mr. Darcy. "She does not mean it, she does not. Just a silly girl. I know how great you are. And everyone prefers you to Wickham. I never believed anything he said about you."

"What precisely has Mr. Wickham said about me?" Darcy asked in a tone of actual curiosity.

"Lies, lies," Mama replied. "We all know they are lies. You married my daughter and are a hundred times his consequence."

"Yes," Darcy replied, a little coldly. "I thank you. And I now perceive how you reason upon this matter."

Georgiana said, "But she loves him. Did you not see? That poor girl. Lizzy, you must convince your father to take her away from here."

"We will come up with a scheme of that sort," Elizabeth said.

Lydia had no fortune to tempt a man such as Wickham, but between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, she had wealthy enough connections that Mr. Wickham might try to marry her in hopes they would offer enough to make it worth his while. "I will speak to Papa about the matter. If nothing else, we can have her come with us when we leave for London after the wedding."

"She would not like that," Darcy replied, frowning. "I am seriously concerned about the matter."

Elizabeth could easily imagine Lydia eloping, and unlike Georgiana, she would not tell the plan to her wiser relations if she settled upon it. If Wickham could gain revenge on Darcy in a small way, he might very well accept that as a recompense for his failure to harm her husband in any serious way.

The next day it was the turn of the Netherfield party to attend the residents of Longbourn.

When they arrived at Elizabeth's girlhood home, Lydia retreated to her rooms, refusing to speak to anyone.

About a half hour after they had arrived, Papa retreated to his study. He had looked at Elizabeth in a significant way before he went, in a way that told her clearly that he hoped for them to now have a chance to talk, the two of them together.

It made Elizabeth feel queer to her stomach.

She stared at the door after him but did not make a move to get up for several minutes.

Darcy came across from where he had been speaking to Mary and Georgiana about how he'd selected Georgiana's piano master. "You ought to go to him."

"I don't want to."

"I know."

They were quiet.

"But I also want to speak to him."

"I know," Darcy said again. He gave her a small hug.

Elizabeth laughed, feeling lighter. "You are very good at knowing things."

"Many of the things I know are even true."

She took his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you."

Papa's study was familiar.

Wholly unchanged, except there were somewhat more books piled on the tables where there was not sufficient room on the shelves, and the volume numbers on Papa's periodicals were different.

It had been her favorite room in the house for so many years.

And it also was the room where Papa had called her a wanton mercenary creature he was ashamed to have raised.

Even the scent was the same.

A warm room due to the Franklin stove in the corner. It made it cozier than the big fireplaces in Darcy's library.

Papa rose and smiled at her. "Lizzy."

"Papa."

She went over to her accustomed seat. In a nervous tone she began to speak about a different matter than the one chief on both their minds. "We must make some plan about Lydia — Mr. Wickham would like to hurt Mr. Darcy, and if he can find no other scheme, either ruining or marrying depending on how much he is offered, the sister of Darcy's wife may satisfy him."

"I have told her that she cannot go out into the village or to Meryton unaccompanied, not after her display yesterday."

Elizabeth nodded. "We think it would be best if she is sent away, to London, or even further."

"Are you inviting her to Pemberley?"

With a slight grimace, Elizabeth nodded. "Though she would despise the invitation."

"Need to lock her in chains. If you just stick her in a careening carriage, more than half likely she'd jump and take her chances." Papa pulled his glasses off and rubbed at his forehead. "Do you have any advice? I am determined to not fail as I have before, but in truth I do not know what to do — when I announced to the girls upon our return to Longbourn that we would not entertain Wickham again, I simply had not known how deep her attachment already went."

Elizabeth shrugged. "She would probably be happier with the Gardiners. We do not need to keep her away from Longbourn forever. The regiment will leave soon enough."

"On a blessed day in summer. Still, it is likely to be nearly half a year, and Mrs. Gardiner does not need another, wholly ungovernable, child. I do not wish to impose upon you — but if you are willing to take her, you and Mr. Darcy are likely to be the best solution."

"You and Mama might travel somewhere — I recall that Mama several times mentioned how much she would like to see a beach. In such a case Lydia would not see the travel as a punishment."

"Oh, Lydia might still decide it was a punishment." Papa grimaced. "Travel?"

Elizabeth frowned at him.

"Yes, yes. I did not make the effort to help you, so if I can help Lydia, I must. I must, even if I dislike the case. Though not to a beach. We should go very soon, and it would be absurd to visit a beach in March. Somewhere to the north, so that I might visit you at Pemberley, and see the library which I contributed to."

This made Elizabeth smile. "I appreciated the books."

"I have truly missed you." Papa smiled in a familiar way. The one that always said to her that they were each other's dearest friends, and that he understood her better than anyone else in the world, and that she understood him.

Yet it was not the same, and now she belonged to Darcy far more than Papa.

"I missed you too," Elizabeth said.

"But things are not the same." Papa sighed. "I suppose they cannot be."

There was nothing to say to that.

"You look happy. Glowing even. I was hopeful. I met Mr. Darcy briefly when he was in London, but—"

"He told me that you were trying to convince him to intercede on your behalf."

"A joke. A joke. But the sort of jest with a little truth to it."

Elizabeth grinned. "I know. I was deeply amused, Darcy as well, when we compared notes, and found that you'd approached both of us to encourage reconciliation."

They were quiet again.

"When? When? When did I ever give you an impression that I would do such a thing as entice a man to kiss me in a dark room at a ball so that I could entrap him into marriage?"

"Never."

"No! Never! Never! I… I… I…" She looked at her hands. "I wouldn't. You molded me. You were my father. I thought you knew me. And I thought… I always…"

"What?"

"I always believed you would be there for me. To protect me. To make sure that nothing really bad could ever harm me — I know there are dangers, accidents, illness, things of that sort. I never imagined you to be God . At least not for many years. But I thought… I knew you'd support me if I ever wanted to refuse a man. If I ever… and then, at the moment where I needed help the most in my life…"

"I was so, so… I was so wrong."

"You don't get to just say that! The damage is done! And the words can't be unsaid! I'll never forget them. You called me a wanton woman! A mercenary!"

Elizabeth tried to calm herself. For the sake of the child inside her if nothing else. But instead tears suddenly broke out.

Mr. Bennet knelt next to her, and she found herself sobbing in her father's arms.

"My poor Lizzy."

"You have no notion how hard it was… matters are better between us, far better now, but it hurt . It hurt so much. And it was so difficult. He was… he was angry, at himself and at me, at first."

"I saw that."

"Why!"

That pained wail was not one which could be answered with words. Papa didn't let her go.

She had a sense from how he held her that if she demanded he leave and never speak to her again, he was quite ready to do so.

After a while she sat straighter, and Papa stood back up and returned to his seat. His face was sad.

Elizabeth sniffled into the handkerchief Papa had produced, and she wiped her eyes. "I don't want to hate you. I don't want to always be angry."

"Forgiveness can be terribly hard."

"That is why it is divine," Elizabeth replied. "I love you, Papa."

"I know."

"I just… I can't trust you the way I used to."

He nodded.

"I suppose I never should have. You never believed yourself to be perfect in essentials."

That drew a wet laugh from Papa.

"You did think you were perfect!?"

Papa laughed again. "My image of myself was cast down even further than yours of me," he replied dryly. And then he frowned. "Likely not as far. But it was cast down very far. When I learned that there had been no scheme from your letter. I think I did not move for a full thirty minutes."

"But you believed me."

"Lizzy, yes. I believe you. The instant I saw what you wrote. I knew you wrote the truth."

The unhesitating way that Papa responded made her heart clench again. She began crying again, but this time it wasn't with pain.

He retrieved another handkerchief. "I'll have none for myself until washing day if you continue in this way."

Elizabeth giggled. "I can steal a few from my husband if you must. They are very fine silk."

"Fine silk?"

"Very fine," Elizabeth replied. "Only the best handkerchiefs are worthy of a Darcy."

"You are happy with him."

"I am… it is strange. I have come to know him. To trust him. He may frustrate me, even make me angry in the future, and I will him, but after… After the conversations we've gone through, after what I have learned of him, I know his heart is good. He is caring, diligent, active, and brave." Then she smiled a peaceful happy smile. "Further, he has come to admire me for who I am, and to cease pining for the sort of woman he imagined he would marry."

"In that case he deserves you."

"And I hope to deserve him," Elizabeth said happily, a warm realization coming through her heart.

The two of them sat there together.

It was a warm quiet.

"I can see, he is… he has become the chief gentleman in your life."

Elizabeth nodded.

"That is how it should be, a wife should leave her father's house and cleave to her husband. But, oh, Lizzy, I will miss you."

"I will miss you, but you should visit, as often as you want."

"I want you to be happy. More than anything else. To see that you are happy — I… I… Oh, Jove. It is so silly." Mr. Bennet wiped his eyes. "I must be cutting onions, right now."

"Maybe it is some irritant coming from the fire. I cannot see any onions."

"That must be it."

She stood up and embraced him.

He held her tenderly. "You used to be so small. You'd run around and scream holy murder. Yet somehow, you were so filled with joy when you did it that I could never bear to tell you to be quiet."

"Did I?"

"There are several books I still have with pages you ripped out."

"Oh, my." Elizabeth giggled. "No wonder the shelves are all locked in the library at Pemberley."

"Not enough, I assure you, for a really determined child."

"Upon which subject… What is your view of visiting Pemberley come September? A special event is likely to occur, and I would like you and Mama to be near. "