Chapter 45

45

Grady

I don't know what the hell just happened, but I'm equal parts convinced I fucked it up, and so did she.

I follow her up the trail. She's huffing and puffing on her bike but not backing down.

She's Annika fucking Williams. Of course she's not backing down.

She doesn't give up on anything.

Except me.

I'm so pissed by the time the trailhead opens up to the parking lot that I'm not sweating from the hike, because it's evaporating right off me in waves of fury.

Everything I've done, I've done to help her.

To make sure she's settled. Solid. Not worried about her bakery failing like I've been worrying about mine.

"Want a ride?" I call.

She flips me off.

I'd do the same if I were her, because it wasn't a nice offer.

I stomp to my truck and fling myself in. Sue's not with me, which is good, because I'm pretty sure my goat would rather Annika take him home anyway.

He's practically humped her every night she's been over the last week.

But if she doesn't want me, she doesn't get him either.

" Fuck ," I yell to myself.

Doesn't help.

I curl my hands around the steering wheel and wait, wanting to not have to watch her pedaling uphill the whole way out of the preserve.

Her legs are sexy as fuck.

And I need to not think about them.

Wrapped around me.

Tangled in my sheets.

Naked in my shower.

Dammit .

"Thanks for blindsiding me," I mutter. "Appreciate the heads-up that you woke up this morning and made a decision you couldn't fucking tell me about ."

My truck doesn't answer.

My heart howls, so I crank the engine to drown it out.

"I'm not a fucking mind reader. And even if I was, I'm not just tossing her into the middle of my family while they think she's the devil."

And why do they think she's the devil?

Because I suggested we let them.

So that she could make a few extra bucks.

So I could make a few extra bucks.

Crow's Nest is doing fucking awesome since we started our feud.

It's everything I've ever wanted.

This is the best fucking month of my life.

" Fuck ," I groan again.

I bang my head against the steering wheel a few times, and then I do the only thing I can do, since she's too fucking stubborn to take a ride.

A ride I don't want to give her, for the record, but I would.

Silently.

The ache spreading through my chest is making me short of breath, and I'm pretty damn sure my whole life just broke.

Again.

Exactly like it did ten years ago when she took off in that field and didn't call again.

Ever.

Christ , this fucking sucks.

And I don't know how to fix it.

I pull my phone out and I'm dialing before I can talk myself out of it.

"Talk to me, babycakes," Cooper says when he answers. He sounds out of breath, and he better fucking be working out, because if he's screwing a woman and answering the phone, I'm gonna beat his ass six ways to Sunday.

"Annika dumped me."

"Well, yeah. You should've told Pop and all them to go take a flying leap for being rude this morning."

"He was just being Pop."

"Yeah, and you're being a baby. Call me when you're ready to admit you fucked up."

"I might not be perfect, but she?—"

The phone beeps three times in my ear, letting me know the call dropped.

"Motherfucker," I snarl, and I hit redial.

"You've reached Cooper's cell phone," Cooper says, still out of breath. "Please say the password to continue this phone call."

I grit my teeth. "I fucked up."

"Good job." He's so fucking cheerful, even with the panting, that I want to punch him in the cup. "Next step. Convince me you deserve her."

He's not helping. "Where's the she doesn't deserve you bit that you're supposed to say?"

"She served her country for a decade and came home to take care of her suddenly blind mother and minor sister. You adopted a goat. Which counts for a lot, don't get me wrong, but?—"

This time, I hang up on him.

I can't breathe.

My heart's pounding so hard it's bruising my lungs. My windows are fogging up. My knuckles hurt from gripping everything too tight.

And my dick's playing itself a country song, because if I'm not sleeping with Annika, I'm never sleeping with anyone again.

Ever.

In my whole entire life.

" Dammit ," I shout, and I dial Cooper again.

"Wow, that's some bad connection we have today," he says by way of greeting.

"Maybe if playing baseball doesn't work out, you can be a fucking cheerleader."

He sputters a laugh. "Dude, I do cheerleaders. I don't be cheerleaders."

"Or you could be literate," I mutter. "Or an adult."

"So, you want Annika back," he prompts.

"We might not even be broken up."

"What did she say?"

My heart crumbles into biscuit dough beyond help. "A whole bunch of personal shit that's none of your fucking business."

"Ah. Wants you to get a dick extension. Yeah. That's a tough one."

"I fucking hate you."

"You've loved Annika half your life. You had a fight. She doesn't want you to get a dick extension, which—dude, bad idea. Worst idea. So if she doesn't want the worst from you, then you can fix this. Bake her a cookie or something. Or maybe grow some balls. Your choice. That's all the wisdom I have in me this morning. Haven't talked to my wood yet."

It's stupid that his wisdom is helping, but it is.

He's right.

I can fix this.

If I want to.

But how long will it last if I fix it this time?

She warned me.

She warned me she doesn't have time for me.

That she's high maintenance.

So I have to decide.

Is she worth it?

Is she worth possibly losing my family, my home, and my bakery? Because if I'm in, I'm all in.

Being all in means turning my back on my entire town if they can't deal.

Losing my bakery if they can deal, but suddenly don't get all the best gossip at Crow's Nest anymore.

And she still might not want me.

That's the one thing I've never been able to do—I've never been able to make her love me the way I love her.

And I don't know if I ever will.