8. Tanner

Tanner

I was married.

I was married.

The last time I was in a serious relationship, it ended because I was the only one in said relationship. And now? I'd just gotten married and wasn't even in a relationship.

I couldn't stop laughing as Jax dragged me a few blocks to the east of the city where, apparently, we could have breakfast while watching the sunrise.

If this wasn't all fake and about to be canceled in a few hours, I would say it'd been the most perfect wedding ever. The only thing I'd change is that I would have loved to have Jodie with us, but I doubted she'd be super happy if she knew what we'd done.

She'd never said anything, but I always suspected she'd known about my crush on Jax. Or at least she'd suspected it, especially after I came out and we broke up. For a while, I'd asked for news about him until updates stopped coming. Jax had sent the bare minimum in emails so short they could be fully read in the preview setting on the phone.

The table we got couldn't have been more perfect. With a view of the mountains in the distance and the smell of coffee and waffles, I was in heaven.

"What a night, huh?" Jax said.

I couldn't take my eyes off the horizon line because I didn't want to miss a second of the sunrise.

"I have a confession to make."

Jax laughed. "Tonight is the night for confessions, it seems."

"Huh?"

"Never mind, carry on."

Before I chickened out, I blurted, "I had a crush on you."

"You did?"

"I didn't know what it was at first. It wasn't until after you left that I realized what I felt for you was different, special."

I glanced at Jax, and he smiled. "I was your gay awakening?"

Shrugging, I said, "You and Luke Evans. What can I say? I have a type."

It wasn't until our breakfast came that I realized how hungry I was. The staff at the Sky Diner let us stay as long as we wanted to because, apparently, we were the first newlyweds they'd had. It seemed most couples tended to head over to their hotels for a night of sex and champagne.

The next few hours consisted of running across the city to the chapel where Noah and Lior would get married—which thankfully was not the same as ours—and grabbing new suits because we didn't have time to grab ours.

By the time we got back to our hotel suite with the newlyweds, I was starting to feel the number of hours I'd been awake.

The wedding cake was delicious and Jax and I exchanged a look when we both took a bite.

"Thank you for everything, guys," Noah said after we took a few photos for posterity. "We really appreciate your support with this."

Jax gave Noah a hug and shook Lior's hand. "Again, congrats."

They said we were free to chill or join them as they killed some time in the casino downstairs, but one look at Jax and I knew we'd be going nowhere.

I followed Jax to his room, laughing when I realized what I'd done.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because after spending so many hours with you, getting married—which aren't words I thought I'd ever say—and having the best breakfast in the world, I forgot this isn't real."

Jax took a couple of steps in my direction but stopped short of being within touching distance. "Since it's the night for confessions, I used to have a crush on you too."

My belly tightened and I took a deep breath. "You know, after I came to terms with my sexuality, I used to think I'd been into Jodie because she reminded me of you."

"Ew. Please, no."

I chuckled. "You have the same sense of humor, the same features—minus the muscles, of course."

"Of course."

He came a little closer.

"But I thought being a boyfriend to a girl meant I would do anything for her. We'd be best friends, hang out. I would protect her from anything that upset her. It was after you left that I realized what it really felt to like someone. My heart sank every time I went to your house and you weren't there to open the door, let me feed your Tamagotchi?—"

"Not a euphemism."

I chuckled again. "Not a euphemism. And you'd tell me Jodie was upstairs in her room. It never bothered me that your parents wanted us to keep her bedroom door open. I never realized it was because I liked seeing you walk past and wave as we were studying together or when you leaned against the doorframe calling out plays and distracting us from our computer games."

He took a step forward. "I was so jealous of Jodie."

"You were?"

"She had you all to herself. I was just the boring older brother when all I wanted was to ask you to teach me how to play computer games because I would do anything to be close to you. I wanted to be her and kiss you any time I wanted."

"I never kissed her."

His jaw fell.

"You never kissed her?"

I shook my head. "You could say we were very, very , late bloomers. Or maybe what we thought was love was just the best friendship anyone could ever be lucky enough to have. We just confused it for more because I loved her so much. Still do."

He stared at me like he was wishing for clues.

If that was the case, I'd spell it out. "You don't have to be her to kiss me any time you want, Jax."

The corners of his mouth curled into a slow smile.

"That's good to know because Jodie is the last thing on my mind right now."

Jax cradled the back of my neck with his hand. His soft fingers ran small circles on my skin. Goosebumps erupted all over my body, and I tensed in anticipation.

When his lips brushed against mine, I hugged them with my own and sucked gently. He opened his mouth slightly, giving me the chance to taste him.

Finally.

"Jax," I whispered against his lips.

"I know," he whispered back.

My hands fisted his shirt, needing him to stay this close. Just a little longer.

When he didn't pull back, I kept going, kissing him harder, sucking and tasting. I couldn't tell at what point I found myself on a bed with Jax on top of me, his hardness against mine.

Our gasps were silent, but my ears rang from the energy coursing through my body. I needed more from Jax, preferably without clothes, but I knew it couldn't happen now.

Our hard cocks were trapped between us. Jax rubbed against me.

"Are we really doing this?" I asked in a moment of stupidity.

He stopped. His lips came to a halt just as he sucked the skin on my collarbone.

"Fuck. You're right. We need to stop."

"Wait. No, that's not what I meant." I searched his face for answers. Why were we stopping? I needed an orgasm, goddammit.

"I know, but we can't do this now." He sagged, dropping his forehead against mine. "We should go back to the chapel."

I chuckled. "I still can't believe we went through with it."

"It's all pretend, right? We can still stop them before they file the papers. That's what you said."

I tried not to show how the slight worry in his voice made me feel. Okay, so we didn't want to be married for real. It had all been a joke. But the ink on the paper hadn't dried yet. Couldn't we pretend for a moment longer that all my secret dreams had come true and the one and only man I would ever consider marrying was now my husband?

"We can't go out like this." I cupped his erection. Jax hissed, pressing against my hand.

"You're not helping."

"I never said I was a helpful guy."

"You could have fooled me since you built the furniture in my apartment and helped me get revenge on my ex."

I pulled my hand away and trapped it under my head as Jax settled on the bed, facing me.

"I had a really nice time," I said, closing my eyes, picturing the moment we got pretend married.

His hand traced the exposed skin on my stomach. It turned me on so much that I had turned him on to the point that he'd tried to take all my clothes off.

"Me too."

I don't know at what point we fell asleep, but the heavy knock on the door from Noah telling us to get ready was like a bucket of ice water over our heads.

"Fuck, we can't go to the chapel now," Jax said, jumping out of the bed. I turned over to hide my erection but then glanced at Jax, who was also hard.

He looked down and then at me. "I thought this would go down with the nap."

I laughed. "Has that ever worked for you? Because I only know one way to get rid of unwanted boners."