Chapter Nineteen

Community of ??ran?, 12:07 p.m.

Luvera stood in front ofShon's door, tugging on her apron strings and shifting from foot to foot. What was she doing here? The answer jumped immediately into her mind: being an idiot, that's what. Hugely dim-witted. If somebody came by—it was the lunch hour, for heaven's sake—what would they think if they saw her…doing what? Contemplating a kiss? No. She wasn't here to take up Shon on his offer. Definitely not. Shon only wanted to kiss her for his own selfish reasons. It'd be foolish to think that the mechanics of a kiss alone, with no deep feelings involved, would fill the empty hole in her gut that now rivaled the size of the Grand Canyon.

She stopped fidgeting and pressed a hand over her eyes. She wasn't so pathetic that she was considering breaking a sacred no-fraternization law in order to confirm that she wasn't an uninteresting dowd, was she?

I mean, just look at you.

Her ears stung with the echo of Alex's words. The Blue Mosque on the door blurred, and—

She snapped her head around at the sound of men approaching. Several warriors were coming up the grand staircase! Oh, stars, she had to get out of here before—

Shon's door sprang open. A hand lashed out, caught her by the wrist, and yanked her inside.

"Shon!" she yelped.

The door shut quickly behind her, and Shon stepped back, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

"I'm not here. I-I mean, I didn't come here."

"I've been smelling you out there for a while, Luvera."

She moaned, letting her head droop forward. "Why did I come here?"

"Maybe you're finally smartening up and deciding to hang with a man who actually wants you."

She jerked her head back up. How much of her conversation with Alex had Shon overhead? Her belly quivered as she watched his gaze move over her. Beneath the sullen swoop of his long lashes, Shon's eyes were velvet night, such a clear, glossy black that she had the uncomfortable feeling he was stripping her of all her secrets again. She moved over to his wet bar, and with a shrinking feeling, she asked, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Yes."

Exhaling roughly, she shot him an irritated look. "The question was serious, Shon. You could've at least put some thought into it." They stared at each other for a long moment.

Not many women would call Shon handsome—he was too frightening and off-putting for such a term—but that didn't mean he wasn't arresting, attractive in the way a predator could be, dark and lean, striking in his ferocity. His eyes glowed feral bright, his canines were glistening white points, and his black hair was as unruly as if he'd already seduced a dozen off-limits females in the past hour. He was Alex's exact opposite in every way, blackest midnight against Alex's rosy sunshine. Next to either man, she was a wren, a bird without fancy plumage: boring, colorless, characterless. She blinked back tears.

Shon snapped his lower lip against his teeth. "I've lived in ??ran? for thirty-nine years, and I thought you were pretty from the first day I arrived." One dark brow rose. "You need more thinking than that?"

She swallowed convulsively. "Oh." That was kind of…nice to hear.

He strode forward and took her by the hand, leading her over to his bed.

Her legs just followed him.

He let go long enough to shove the mound of blankets and clothes to the middle of the mattress, then he reclaimed her hand and urged her to sit down.

It didn't mean anything. She was just sitting. On his bed.

He plopped down next to her, then immediately surged back to his feet. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"I don't know." She peered up at him. "Are you going to have something?"

His dark eyes moved over her face. "No." He eased back down and took her hand again, brushing his thumb over the top in an intimate caress.

A startling tingle shivered up her forearm. She jerked her hand from his. "I-I don't think I should be here, actually." She sprang back up to her feet and took a step backward. Thirty-nine years of liking her? She was letting herself be manipulated again, just wanting those words to be true so much. "This is…we're going to make a mistake." She made enough mistakes in her life accidentally. No need to set out to do something wrong on purpose.

Shon watched her with his still eyes. "Do you remember the first day my brothers and I came through the Hell Tunnels into ??ran??" he asked her. "I remember. I was thirteen and you were ten. You were dressed in a pair of overalls and a red shirt, your hair hanging over your shoulders in two braids. I thought you looked like a milkmaid, the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my life."

An aching pressure settled in her belly.

"Let me kiss you, Luvera." His voice was deep and seductive, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. Though he couldn't, could he?

"What if we get aroused?" she whispered, a thread of nervousness curling through her.

Mutely, Shon shifted his jaw back and forth. Apparently that was the plan.

She grimaced at him. "It'll hurt."

"We'll go slow." Shon pulled her down again. But not onto his bed.

She landed on his lap, her breath snagging in her throat when her bottom met his hard thighs, the side of one of her breasts pressing against his muscular chest.

He burrowed his fingers into her hair, and her bun unraveled, her long black hair cascading down her back. "That's good," he breathed, his eyes staining darker with desire.

She gasped as he tumbled her onto the mattress and rolled half on top of her, one thigh wedging between her legs, his broad shoulders blocking her view of the room. He lowered his dark head, hovering an inch away from a kiss, his hot breath sluicing over her lips.

Her mouth tightened reflexively, her instincts balking; Shon wasn't her mate.

Here's the reality of how things are going to play out. Alex and Jennilith are going to hook up in marital bliss while you waste your life in pathetic solitude, never experiencing a damned thing because you wanted to wait for a mate.

Her heart wrenched painfully. She clasped Shon by the cheeks and drew him the last short distance toward her, their mouths touching. They froze, their lips barely clinging as both of them discovered the silky warmth that was a kiss.

Shon's lips lowered again, slowly, and then with a groan he covered her mouth fully with his own. His hand tightened in the back of her hair as he slanted his lips hard over hers.

Heat snaked through her belly. She hadn't expected him to be this heavy and warm. Or to smell so potent. Her lashes trembled against her cheeks as her sinuses opened to the heady scent of him, the musk of unmated male Varcolac filling her head and drifting down the back of her throat, eddying through her lungs. Excitement rushed through her, lighting her eyes behind her lids with Pure-bred fire.

Shon used the pressure of his jaw to open her mouth, then pushed his tongue inside. Hot. Soft. Deeply plundering. He tasted of power and darkness and wickedness—everything that Shon was. It didn't frighten her. Worse. It called to the predator in her, unleashing a savage hunger. Her gums gave a preemptive throb, the primal instinct to hunt and feed rising up to take command. Warning bells clattered in the head. If she bit Shon, she'd be taking the first step toward bonding forever to a man she didn't love. She tore her mouth away. "Shon," she panted. "Stop! I can't handle this." She fisted her hands into the front of his shirt and tried to shove him off.

He wouldn't budge.

He was staring down at her with endless lust in his dangerous eyes, breathing heavily through his nose and mouth. His fangs were elongated.

She peered at his long, glinting canines, bloodlust and desire stirring a storm in her belly. "I want you to bite me," she confessed raggedly. Licking her lips, she dropped her heated gaze to his pulsing carotid. "I want to bite you."

Wrong thing to say.

Making a guttural sound in his throat, Shon crushed his lips down on hers again, his mouth rough and demanding, his hot, plunging tongue blocking any further protest. She felt his hand fumble at her waist, and then his fingers were beneath her sweatshirt, touching her bare flesh, gliding upward… A breath shot past her nostrils, her loins beginning to congest dangerously. His hand moved relentlessly upward, across her belly, higher. No. She squirmed. No. His fingertips edged beneath the wire of her bra, caressing the rounded underside of her breast. A hard shudder rattled her spine. He shoved her bra up without unclasping it and grabbed her breast. She gave a throttled moan and jerked, pain throbbing through her pelvis. She still had her hands fisted in his shirt, and she twisted the material into harder knots, floundering between panic and wild animal need.

Shon's fingers found her nipple. A rumble quaked his chest. He pinched it—

The sound that came out of her was half-yell, half-ferocious growl. Heaving Shon off her, she flew from the bed…but only managed two running steps before the pain in her obstructed privates took her legs out. "Oh!" She fell to the floor onto her hands and knees, her hair whiplashing into her face. "Heaven help me." She gulped for air, peering up through the tangled spill of her hair at Shon.

He teetered precariously on the edge of his bed, one arm hugging his midsection, his other hand cupping his privates. He wore a constipation-face of pain that would've been comical had the situation not been so appallingly disastrous—or nearly disastrous.

She jolted to her feet and staggered for the door.

He surprised her by leaping off the bed and capturing her wrist. "Wait."

"No!" A veil of tears clouded her vision.

"It doesn't have to be like this between us, Luvera." The corners of his eyes were still tight with pain. "We can be together without it hurting."

She pulled against his hold. "Let go of me, Shon."

He tightened his grip. "Just listen to me. There's something—"

"No!"

"—the Stanga Town kids have been talking about something called a Blood Ride."

She froze. A what?

"Here's how it goes," he said. "We cut ourselves and then lick each other's blood, and that temporarily opens up our…you know, our blockage."

She stared at him, mouth agape, shock rooting her feet to the floor. A Blood Ride?

"We could do stuff together, maybe even have sex, without bonding. You could be with me, but not ruin yourself for a future Dragon male. It's perfect."

She finally located her voice. "Are you crazy? We could never manage something like that. Our bloodlust would get too strong and we'd end up biting each other." She pried at the fingers he had wrapped around her wrist. "I barely made it through that kiss, for heaven's sake."

"We could handle it." He finally released her. "We'd just have to—"

"Get real, Shon! I'm a Pure-bred and you're a Half-R?u. No. Way." She rushed for the door, but he beat her there and planted his hand on it to stop her from leaving.

"C'mon, Luvera…"

She gave him an icy stare. "Are you too much of an Om R?u to remember that blood is sacred to Varcolac? The drawing of it is an act of claiming in and of itself, Shon. A Blood Ride would absolutely ruin me for any other mate. You, too, for that matter. Your idea is so far from perfect, I can't even say what it is."

A muscle jumped in his cheek. "No one would know if you just didn't tell. We wouldn't be bonded, so—"

"For the hundredth time, I said, no!" She slapped his arm aside and wedged out of his door, running down the grand staircase and out of the mansion as fast as she could. She hastened up Main Street toward Garwald's, even though the last thing she wanted to do was return to her shift. She felt wrong everywhere inside, her stomach hollow, her heart a weighted lump. But not going back would raise too many questions. She ran the rest of the way.

Two hours later, she trudged home to her mother's house and found her way tiredly into her own bedroom. She was going to take a long bath and forget about—

She stopped in a sudden movement.

There on her desk were three neatly stacked medical books.

All of the blood vacated her head, and tears leapt to her eyes so fast, they were spilling down her cheeks before she could even make the attempt to check them. Pressing a hand over her mouth, she tried to stifle her cries. Well, yes, and why not?

She had earned them, after all.