Chapter Forty-Five

Nyko stood just behind Jacken'sleft shoulder, his eyes fixated on the Plexiglas bassinet inside the hospital baby room. He didn't know how he stopped himself from rushing over and peering into it, his hands clasped beneath his chin like he was oohing over a basket of puppies. Probably because Jacken hadn't moved past the doorjamb, yet, so he couldn't. Or Alex.

It was six o'clock in the morning, twenty-four hours after Toni had coded and six hours after Marissa had gone into labor. A short time ago, Dr. Jess had come to the Brun household to make the welcome and long-awaited announcement that Toni had stabilized and a healthy Baby Brun was hungry. Would Jacken like to come to the hospital and give his child a bottle?

In joy, profound relief, leftover debilitating shock, or whatever, for now Jacken remained frozen in the doorway, staring at Dev, who was hovering over the Plexiglas basinet and peering at its occupant, a smile on his face. Dev was also holding a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms.

"Everything…go all right?" Jacken asked Dev.

Dev met Jacken's eyes and smiled. "Delivery was textbook."

"I enjoyed that part, too," Dr. Jess said wearily from where he stood by the bassinet.

"Marissa's sacked out," Dev added. "Tired as hammered shit, but really great."

"Okay, good." Jacken exhaled a careful-sounding breath. "Good." He aimed an inquisitive look at the bundle. "And?"

Dev's smile returned, lighting his entire face. "A healthy baby boy. We're naming him Randon."

Jacken nodded slowly.

Nyko sensed a muscular tension in his brother, like Jacken was holding up a wall of unstable bricks, so freaking exhausted and ready to let them go, but unable to relax his hold quite yet.

Jacken transferred his gaze to the bassinet, then over to Dr. Jess. "I don't even know what Toni and I had. In all the turmoil, it just…"

Jess's gaze warmed kindly. "You have a daughter, Jacken."

"No, you've got an angel." Dev peered into the bassinet again.

Nyko laughed, utterly delighted. A little girl-angel niece. How cool.

Jacken started in on nodding again, the monotonous gesture speaking of how many hours this man had spent dazed and terrified, his life teetering on the edge of utter annihilation. If Jacken had lost both Toni and his child today, even one of them, no way he would've ever… No. Nyko didn't want to think about it anymore. Too many hours of sitting with that possibility had already twisted his gut into a lot of knots.

"And…she's okay?" Jacken asked Jess. "I mean, she came out looking really…"

The baby came out looking really dead, so Jacken was right to be concerned about her wellbeing. Nyko shifted his feet, the knots in his stomach tightening. Heck, maybe he was the one who couldn't let go of the stress bricks.

"Yes," Dr. Jess answered. "I've done some preliminary tests on her—visual acuity, hearing, brain wave function, and she passed splendidly. I believe she was extremely tuckered out by the extensive labor before. But she's proving as strong as her mother in recovering." Jess placed a hand on the bassinet. "Would you like to come meet her?"

"Yeah, uh…" Jacken rubbed a hand over the middle of his chest, probably a double-check: radar's still chill? Yes. Like a sleepwalker, Jacken strode up to the bassinet, Nyko and Alex on either side of him.

All three men peered down at the wriggly occupant.

"Oh, man!" Nyko exclaimed. "She's adorable!"

Dev had been right. Jacken's daughter was an angel with a head full of strawberry-blonde hair, just like her momma's, a tiny rosebud of a mouth, and long lashes resting demurely against her cheeks like dollhouse fans. Dressed only in a diaper, she was also modeling a lot of pink, vibrant skin. She appeared to be a healthy baby, for sure.

Alex moved to the head of the bassinet and smiled down at his niece. "No way that's your kid, Jacken. She's too cute."

Jacken snorted. The noise sounded kind of soggy.

The baby's lids lifted, and the group of them laughed.

"Hello, there's Jacken," Nyko said, gazing into his niece's lustrous pure black eyes.

Jacken made another sound in his throat, then he tucked his face into the crook of his arm.

Nyko grabbed ahold of his brother and dragged him close. The man was spent.

"Ah, crap," Jacken said into his arm. "After everything I've gone through tonight—in my whole life—now I break down."

Dev moved over to Jacken's other side. "All bets are off when it comes to a guy's kid, man. I've been blubbering for hours. Hell, I might sympathy cry again now, you don't quit soon."

Jacken laughed, a jerky sound, still damp around the edges. "That's it, then. From here on out, we're banned from the gym. Shit." He wiped his eyes a little on his sleeve before he brought his head up. "I need a drink of water; I need to feed; I need a nap; I need my wife to wake up." He gripped the edge of the bassinet. "I was never supposed to have this kid, then I lost her, and now here she is, looking like Toni, and…Christ."

The baby pursed her sweet little lips and let out an indignant squeak.

They all chuckled again. It seemed like none of them could get enough of her.

"She's hungry," Dr. Jess observed brightly. "Are you ready to feed your daughter, Jacken? I've already prepared a bottle."

Jacken let out a long, long breath, the load of bricks finally rolling off his shoulders. "That would be amazing." Reaching into the bassinet, Jacken wrapped his daughter in a blanket and, careful to support her neck—as he'd learned reading baby books—gently picked her up. "Hi there, little one," he said in a soft voice Nyko never would've guessed his stiff-jawed brother could've produced. "Your name is Sharanna."

The baby instantly stopped her fussing, peering at Jacken in wonderment.

"Look at that." Alex moved nearer for a better view. "She knows her daddy. Guess all that time talking to Toni's belly paid off."

Jacken tucked Sharanna's blanket under her chin. "Nyko, you getting it, yet?"

Nyko peered more closely at the baby. "Getting what?"

"The last twenty-four hours have been the worst in my life, and you know that means something when I say it, considering where we come from." Jacken accepted a bottle from Dr. Jess. "Yet, I can safely say everything I went through these last hours was so fucking worth it." Jacken slipped the nipple into his daughter's mouth and smiled. "You think maybe you can learn something from that, big brother?"

Nyko watched Sharanna suckle happily, her gaze fastened on her father. To be looked at like that would be…the most amazing… An object the size of a baseball wedged into his throat. He swallowed, but the sucker stayed.

Jacken glanced up, the sudden intensity in his eyes wrenching cords in Nyko's stomach. "Go to Faith. Stop being afraid, you big chowderhead."

Nyko blinked, but stood like stone, the knots in his stomach rooting him to the spot.

Jacken shifted the baby in his arms. "Am I going to have to hit you?"

"It worked for Thomal," Dev drawled.

Nyko startled back to himself. What the heck was he doing. "No, that's all right. I'm going now. In fact"—he pointed at the doorway behind him—"you don't mind if I run, do you?"

* * *

Faith clicked on her nightstandlamp and leapt out of bed, whirling her bathrobe around her body as she raced for her bedroom door. The only reason anyone would be knocking at six-thirty in the morning would be for news about Toni. Finally! Faith had been lying awake in bed all night. She must've choreographed an entire ballet in her head by now. Whipping open her door, she—

Her heart fell. No! Nyko looked terrible. Dark bruises of exhaustion lay under his eyes, his face was drawn into a mask of pain, and if she didn't know better, she'd say it was raining in ??ran?—he was drenched. So the news was bad. She clutched her bathrobe. "Oh, no."

"Toni's okay," he quickly assured her. "The baby, too. Sorry to wake you, but I thought you'd want to know."

"Yes." She felt her shoulders sag. "Oh, thank goodness." She took a few moments to breathe, then gave him another once-over. "You don't look so well."

"Don't feel so well, either." He pushed an unsteady hand through his unruly hair. "And then some."

Touching her hand to the doorjamb, she gazed at him tenderly. "It's been a long night." She wanted to get her hands in that hair of his, tame it, caress it. "Do you want to come in? I mean, if you have to get back to your brother, I understand…"

"No. Jacken was the one who made me get my butt over here."

She inched a brow up. "He did?"

He smiled halfway. "I guess he was getting sick of watching me melt."

"Well, what does he expect, considering all that's been going on?" She reached for Nyko's hand. "Come inside, Nyko. I don't bite." The pun was lost on him. Or…something was more off with him than she realized because—

He pulled away. "I-I can't, not until…" He paused to swallow. "Our bond isn't complete, Faith, which means I'm feeling extremely driven right now. Once I step into your room, I—"

"What?" she interrupted sharply.

He frowned at her. "What, what?"

"What are you talking about? That's what." Not complete? She put her hands on her hips. "You fed on me. We're bonded."

"But… No. We didn't have sex after I fed, so…no."

She stared at him, her jaw coming loose.

"I have to, uh, ejaculate inside you in order to…" He reddened. "Didn't you read the community manual?"

"Eight months ago! I can't remember everything I read eight months ago." Also, she'd skimmed it, figuring Varcolac culture wouldn't ever have anything to do with her. She'd lived all but the last few days in ??ran? with one foot out the door. Groaning softly, she dropped her head into her hand. All this time she'd thought she'd had him, and she hadn't. And now… "Oh, God. You've changed your mind about bonding with me, haven't you?" Tears rolled down her cheeks before she even knew she was going to cry. Why couldn't she get her life together in this town?

He jolted to attention. "No. Nonononono."

She turned and strode back into her room, plopping down onto her iron-framed couch.

Nyko gave her bedroom a panicked glance. "Ah, heck." He took a careful step inside, planting his boot cautiously, as if the carpet was quicksand. "I'm not afraid of being with you anymore," he said, closing the door behind him. "I got scared about not being able to protect the people I love, and I gave up when I should've listened to you and kept fighting. But…I just saw in ??ran?'s hospital how stupid I've been. I know I may not be able to save everyone, but I've had a lot of practice with saving, so I'd say I'm pretty good at it by now. The odds are strong for me being able to keep you and our children safe. Strong enough for me not to live in a hole."

She blinked. "Our children?"

Another blush rose to his cheeks. "Yes, I'd love it if we, uh…but I need you to be sure about us before we press ahead, because…well, a couple of things. First, you let me feed on you to save my life, and I need to know it wasn't only for that reason. That may sound stupid, but please try to understand that no woman has ever liked me before: in a romantic way. Women are terrified of me, then once they get used to me, they think of me as…I don't know, a nice protective ogre. So I can't seem to wrap my brain around the idea that you could possibly want Big Scary Nyko as a mate. I'm sorry, it doesn't compute, so I need to be dead sure." He ducked his head. "Do you think of me that way? Um…romantically?"

She wiped her tears on the sleeve of her bathrobe. "Of course."

Grimacing, he scuffed the toe of his boot against the carpet.

"You think I copped to that too easily? Like I haven't been paying attention?" She crossed her arms. "I love that you adore children. I love that you take on the job of watching out for the other warriors, because they're tough, strong guys, so who else is there? I love how dedicated you are to your brothers and how much you clearly respected and admired your mother. I love your nimble fingers and nice laugh. I love that you took an interest in ballet, purely for me, and even amateur that you are, you noticed I dance with passion. I love that you think I smell like cookies—you can thank Kacie for that secret. I love that for the first time in a long time, I feel like there's someone in my life who's strong enough to carry the load when I can't. I love you."

His throat moved visibly.

"And, you know, love has a funny way of carving out attraction from something that wasn't there before. I saw you as handsome right after our first and only date. But things really heated up for me yesterday in that cave room. It was the first time I'd seen you without a shirt. Your muscles are spectacular, and I thought all of your tattoos were kind of wicked artistic—although I probably shouldn't think that, considering the horrible way they were put on. But here's the blunt truth: when I sat on your lap, your penis and testicles felt big, and that made me want to hump your lights out. How's that for feeling romantically inclined toward you? Enough? Are you going to pass out?" He looked on the verge of it, and as much as he weighed, if he toppled over, he'd probably crash right through the floor. "Listen, Nyko, if you want to date some more, to be completely sure, then—"

"Please, no," he groaned. "This half-bond is killing me, Faith. I don't think I can bear it much longer."

She pulled her chin in. "Wait. Are you saying you look like this"—she waved her hand up and down his body—"because of me?"

His lids sank down as if pulled there by lead weights.

Answer enough. "God, Nyko, I don't know how to convince you. I spent eight months waiting for you. What else do you want me to do? I'm not sure I have the energy for another Greek tragedy demonstration after O??rat, but if you—"

"No." He pressed his large palms over his face. "Nothing. No more." He groaned again. "I believe you."

"Well, good." She saw that his hands were shaking. "Okay… So…? Do you want to see my ballerina tattoo now?"

He dropped his hands and, despite the saucy way she'd said that, his expression was very serious. "I really do." He started toward her, tearing his shirt off over his head—as in, actually tearing. His pants came off in the next moment, his boots, socks, everything.

Faith opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Right in front of her was a panorama of muscle-packed male, Nyko's naked state once again putting on display his savage body art. The black, interlocking teeth covered his entire torso, sweeping up his abdomen, over his broad chest, up and over his shoulders, where, on the right, they disappeared beneath a square of gauze bandage. He didn't have a single tattoo below his waist, but…That penis and testicles she'd just mentioned? Oh, my.

Nyko followed her line of sight to his crotch. "That'll pop up once I feed on you again, and don't worry, my bite won't hurt this time." He plucked her off the couch by her armpits and carried her, feet dangling, to the bed. Setting her on the edge of the mattress, he pushed her bathrobe off her shoulders, then hiked her nightgown over her head.

Suddenly bared, her nipples puckered. She didn't think she'd ever been stripped so fast. His eagerness was… She hid a smile. Lying back, she rolled slightly onto her left side and lifted her right hip to him. "There she is."

Nyko pressed two fingers to her ballerina tattoo as his gaze traveled the length of her body. "How the heck did I end up with such a porcelain doll for a mate? I was supposed to bond with a woman who was part-hippopotamus or something."

"Come here." She settled flat on her back. "You won't crush me. Just prop yourself up on your elbows."

But he didn't move. Something was happening to his face…

It took a moment for her to figure out the expression—she'd never thought to see anger on her sweet Nyko—but he was livid, eyes fiery, the sides of his jaws bulging, his heavy fists clenched so tight that she could see the tendons stretched out from his knuckles. It took another moment for her to determine what had set him off. He was staring at the red and swollen patch of skin on her belly.

"What. Is. That?" The question was squeezed out between his teeth.

She covered the area with her palm, catching back a flinch. Ouch. The skin was still very sensitive.

He pushed her hand aside. "Are those two black dots?"

"Um…" She wasn't scared, per se, but seeing Nyko like this wasn't fun.

"Lorke tacked you, didn't he?"

There wasn't any point in lying. "Yes. After I called out your name, he said he had to mark me as his."

Nyko's upper lip peeled off one of his fangs. "That ass hates me." He tapped the tattoos on his neck. "Because he couldn't break me."

"Look, honey, what's done is done," she said, sitting up. "It's two measly dots, and they don't even hurt that much, but if we keep thinking about it, then it will ruin our night together and that will be a victory for your father." She studied Nyko's face. "Right?"

He seemed to be taking in what she'd said. The lines of anger were easing from his expression.

She reached for Nyko, setting her hand on his hip. "Let's not allow him to do that." She tugged him forward, lifting her face for a kiss.

His lips came down, but had barely touched hers before he fell on top of her.

"Ooof."

"Sorry," he panted. "And fair warning. I'm not going to be very good at this."

His body heat flash-charged to a dizzying temperature, a raw, animal scent coming off him. She placed her hands on the heavy slabs of his shoulders. "You don't need to rush." But he clearly wasn't capable of anything else. His heart pounded violently against her breasts as his mouth dropped to search frantically at her throat. Exhaling a feverish breath against her skin, Nyko angled his head deeper into the bend of her neck. Pressure increased.

She tensed for the space of a second, instinctively clutching his shoulders harder at the sensation of her skin being punctured. Then she relaxed. Oh, he was right. His bite didn't hurt this time. There was only that incredible warmth, as if her body contained a small sun, heat blooming from the inside and moving out, pushing pleasure everywhere she had nerve endings. Sighing softly, she lolled her head back into the mattress and reveled in the feel of Nyko sucking vigorously, his steady moans vibrating against her chest. Something about this was so…intimate.

Pulling his fangs out with a final groan, he started in on a mad poke-about with his erection, the head of his sex jabbing her pelvis bone, her mons, her clitoris. She nearly yelped as he bumped into her anus. Goodness. It was time to get her hand down there and guide him to—

The rounded head of his sex seated in her opening, and with a jerk of his hips, he plunged inside her.

She cried out softly, stunned by the fulsome weight of him. The walls of her sheath rippled, adjusting to his size and dimension, her deepest muscles grabbing at his length. Oh, yes.

Shuddering, Nyko barked out a shout, then went still, his breathing ragged and his expression utterly flabbergasted.

She bit back a smile. Oops.

He stared at her in panic.

She gazed back at him through a sparkly vista of Fiin??-generated stars. "It's okay."

"I knew I was going to be bad, but not that bad."

"It was the half-bond, honey. It was making you crazy." She might not be a Varcolac expert, but she could tell that much. "Don't worry about it."

His tongue dragged along his lips. "I'm not going to be like this always?"

She grinned. "We'll try again in ten minutes and you'll see."

He studied her smile. "What's that? It can't be the look of a satisfied woman."

She giggled. "I am happy. We're married now, aren't we?"

He paused, then exhaled a low chuckle. "My one, awesome pump did do that."

She laughed, the joy of the moment soaring through her. At long last, she had her man.

He opened his mouth, as if to say something more, but a low growl rolled past his lips instead.

The smile was startled off her face. She'd never heard him make a sound like that before.

He looked as surprised by the noise as she was. Hefting himself off her, he knelt on the mattress at her feet, blinking, then he rubbed his eyes. "I'm seeing red," he said.

She levered herself up on her elbows. "What does that mean?"

"I'm starting to go R?u. But it feels like it's moving out of my control, like I'm drunk or something." He pressed a palm to his ear. "Why in the heck—?"

She sat up. "Has this ever happened to you before?"

"No. Never."

"Oh." She gazed down at her wrists, still chafed raw from being strung up in O??rat, her heart wringing through a sieve. "It's me, isn't it? You're having a negative reaction to bonding with me."

"Oh, crud." The edges of his nostrils fluttered. "It is you."

Of course it was, because her life had just got on the right track.

"You're ovulating."

She glanced up. "What?"

"And as I'm bonding to you and becoming your mate, I'm scenting it. Dang it, I'm going to glaze out and go into procreation mode on you, Faith, as soon as the bond is complete."

Procreation mode…oh, that she remembered from the manual, it had struck her as so unfortunate that a male Varcolac couldn't be emotionally involved in the creation of his own baby. As soon as he scented his mate's fertility, he checked out into a state of quasi-unconsciousness, a state in which he robotically had intercourse with his wife until she was impregnated. From what Faith had heard, the act could sometimes last quite a few uncomfortable hours.

Suddenly leaping off the bed, Nyko charged over to the curtains that were closed across her balcony window and wrapped the cords around each of his wrists. "Go," he ordered. "While you still can. When a half-R?u shifts into procreation mode our beast comes out."

"But won't that put you into bonding withdrawal?" She understood that well enough; the whole town had watched poor Thomal Costache go through it. Which meant that if she left, depriving Nyko of the ability to scent her, he would have to endure more misery after all that he'd just gone through with a half-bond.

"I'll deal with it. Now, go! I don't want you to face down my R?u our first time together."

She didn't move, held immobile by a riot of emotions churning inside her. There was, of course, relief that Nyko wasn't having some kind of weird allergic reaction to their bond. Also frustration at herself for not following the manual's stern warning about bonded females testing their fertility hormones daily—although it was a little late to discover that directive also applied to prospective bonded females. And angst over the thought of her man possibly suffering. But those feelings were almost immediately smothered by biological need. She was ovulating right now. It didn't take a straight-A student to figure out that if she and Nyko continued to make love, she'd get pregnant. And, yes, it was probably stupid and irresponsible of her to think of starting a family with a man she hardly knew. There was always plenty of time for babies and all that blah, blah, blah. But she ached to have a little being growing inside her. This man's baby: this man who loved children so much. And who loved her.

"I think I'll stay," she said simply.

He pressed back against the balcony window and widened his eyes on her.

She positioned herself in the middle of the bed and lay flat on her back, wracking her brain for the manual's guidelines on how a woman should conduct herself during Varcolac mating. Sweat beaded her upper lip. How she wished she hadn't skimmed that part.

A barbaric howl roared through the room and the curtain rods ripped out of the wall.