Book Two

Chapter Twenty-Nine

??ran?: eight and a half months later, August

Little Deandra Ungureanu appeared inthe doorway of the make-believe straw house, dressed to the nines in a piggy costume of Pandra's own making. "Not by the hair of my shimmy shim shim!" the young girl yelled at the top of her lungs.

Lysha Costache and Kristara Cri?an, the two other five year old girls dressed in piggy costumes, exchanged a look across the small school stage—one girl from her "stick" house, the other from the "brick" one—then shifted over to check in with Pandra. Seven year old ?llen, the Big Bad Wolf, who was facing down Deandra, didn't say anything either.

"Oh." Deandra's face fell. "I mussed up my words again, didn't I?"

Pandra stepped forward from offstage, chuckling as she took Deandra's hand and urged her out of the pretend house. "Didn't I tell you not to give a toss if you fluff your lines?" Smiling, Pandra went down on one knee in front of the little girl. "No matter what you do, your parents will love it, I guarantee. So no worries, right?"

Deandra frowned a little. Her mother, Ellen the dentist, was a chipper sort, but Pedrr, the girl's father, was a bit of a brooding fellow, and Deandra tended toward his more serious personality.

Pandra waved over Lysha, Kristara, and ?llen, and the three scampered obediently to her side. "And you lot press forward with your lines regardless. After all…" Pandra threw her arms up in the air. "The show must go on!" Her over-exaggerated antics earned a round of giggles from the little girls, as it was intended to do.

Pandra laughed along with them, the moment of simple, innocent joy washing over her in a surreal warmth. Sometimes it was still difficult to believe she worked alongside Claresta at ??ran?'s elementary school, even though she'd been doing so for several months now. Had anyone ever told Pandra that one day she would be helping to shape the next generation, she would've handed over her noggin for football practice.

Eight months ago, she'd done what was required and had a dab at a varied assortment of jobs in the community, chopping vegetables and stirring sauces at Marissa's Restaurant, putting up dry wall in the new bowling alley, handing dental instruments to Dr. Ellen, selling movie tickets at the Town Cinema, lifeguarding at the Water Cliffs, fixing cars with Llawell in the garage, slapping bandages onto boo-boos as nurse's aide with Shaston at the hospital, flipping burgers at the diner, and more. The only jobs she hadn't tried were at places where she was persona non grata. As in, she hadn't trained with the warriors, Thomal and Arc's domain—not to mention that Varcolac whose fang she'd broken—and she hadn't worked at Beth Costache's TradeMark clothing store.

Both omissions had been just aces with her.

Although…she suspected Beth would've been willing to parley a truce with her, if given the opportunity. Which surprised the beans out of Pandra. She doubted she would've be so magnanimous had their roles been reversed. But Beth was the sweet and forgiving type. Arc, on the other hand, most definitely was not, and he stood as a massive, immovable blockade between Pandra ever becoming a member of the Costache clan.

Difficult to blame him too harshly for that, not after what Pandra had done to both the Costache brothers. If she could go back and change the night she'd gone spacky on the two, she would, for certain. Although that would first entail her going back and being reborn into a different family, one without a father who'd so seriously buggered her up, both with the power of his dark enchantment as well as his hot-then-cold method of parenting.

A lifetime spent with a father who would lull her into a false sense of security and wellbeing with his charm, care, and approval, only to clobber her, mentally or physically, in the next moment when she failed to please him or dared to defy him lay at the root of her actions against Thomal and Arc…and so many others. According to her therapist, Karrell, Pandra had resorted to subjugating and hurting people as a way to gain power in a world where she was essentially powerless. Not exactly the most attractive thing to learn about oneself. Even though, oddly enough, this was why she'd gravitated toward becoming a teacher. The role gave her a chance to love young, impressionable beings unconditionally, to accept them not in spiteof their faults and mistakes but because of them. As had never been done for her.

Now the power in her world came from love, giving it and receiving it—from her sister and brother, Toni and Alex, the friends she'd made in the community, and these adorable young ones.

Too bad not from Thomal.

Over the last eight months her estranged husband hadn't shown any interest in becoming an actual bonded mate. His attitude toward her had moved from icy fury to cool indifference to brief moments of terse civility…and ended about there. She was doing her best to make amends to him. She'd already apologized—which he'd accepted, though brusquely—but beyond that she didn't know what to do. Except to keep her nose clean and work hard, which, hopefully, he'd interpret as a reason to give her a chance. They were biologically stuck with each other, after all. It would be nice if they could make a go of it outside of the nothing they currently had. No, not just nice, but in fact, necessary. Pandra had just come too far and grown too much over the last months to settle for less than true happiness. With Karrell's help, she was slowly coming to the conclusion that she deserved that.

"Hey."

Pandra turned on her knee. Well, speak of the very devil himself.

Thomal stood in the doorway of the classroom, a satchel of art supplies tucked under his arm. "I thought you weren't teaching today."

Pandra came to her feet, catching back a flare of disappointment. It should come as no surprise that her husband hadn't wanted to bump into her. "Just running a little late on rehearsals, is all. All right, lasses, off you go and change into your normal duds."

Lysha, Deandra, and Kristara rushed up to Pandra with their arms open.

Pandra bent over and hugged each girl in turn, the backs of her eyes prickling. She didn't think she'd ever get used to how grand that felt. As the girls dashed off, she glanced at ?llen. "You can go fetch your art kit now, lad. It's time for your drawing lesson."

The boy sprinted into the next room.

Thomal pinned his gaze onto the opposite wall, no doubt fascinated by the world map there, not just avoiding Pandra now they were alone.

'Course not.

"I'm glad I have a moment with you, Thomal," Pandra said, anyway. "I wanted to tell you what brilliant work you've done with ?llen. Confidence-wise he's an entirely different lad from eight months ago. Has he shown you his comic books yet?"

"What?" Thomal's eyes darted over to her. "No."

She smiled. "He will. He draws loads of them. At first he didn't fill in the thought bubbles, so when we read them together, we'd invent the dialogue." She laughed. "But I think he got fed up with the barmy things I had his heroes saying, so now he writes his own words."

Thomal paused. "Does he still get the letters backward?"

"Sure." She shrugged. "Sometimes. But he doesn't care so much now." She nodded her head at him. "You did that for the lad."

Thomal set his art satchel on the communal table, turning away from her again.

She scooped up her sewing basket to take home with her tonight, along with Kristara's costume, which she'd noted had a tear along the sleeve. "Your dyslexia went away when you entered your blood-need, correct?"

"Yes."

"No problems at all with it anymore?"

"No." He hitched a shoulder. "Every now and then I misdial a phone number, but who doesn't?"

Pandra considered that. "I'm not sure if we should tell ?llen that, though. I don't want to raise his hopes, if it doesn't turn out to be the case for him."

?llen raced back in the classroom, carrying a satchel similar to Thomal's. "Ready!" He plunked his satchel down, then gave Pandra a quick goodbye hug.

"Cheers," she said, smiling. "Have fun you two." She strode down the hall. Well, not quite down the hall. Actually, she stopped just outside the classroom doorway and clandestinely observed the two artists, unpacking their drawing supplies and chatting.

Today wasn't the first time Pandra had spied on Thomal while he worked with ?llen. She supposed it was poor form, like eavesdropping, but she was too fascinated by how much Thomal changed whenever he slipped into his creative side to resist watching. The moment he opened his artist's pad, the dark edges melted off him and the anger he wore like a shield dropped away. She'd stand in this hallway and watch, enthralled, as he put his very soul into everything he taught ?llen, becoming so engrossed in his art she couldn't figure why Thomal had ever gone into soldiering.

It touched her, deeply, to see him that way, and, ugh, she hated to be no better than a silly moo who got all squishy over a man because he had a secret sensitive side, not to mention being good with children and a nice, attentive bloke to his mum, but… Truth was, she loved those qualities about him. And the lost soul she sensed he was.

"Oh, I'm glad you're both here."

Pandra nearly jumped out of her skin as Donree, Toni's assistant, appeared at the other end of the hallway.

Thomal turned his head to look.

Ah, botheration. Caught.

Donree came the rest of the way down the hall and looked between Pandra and Thomal. "Dr. Parthen would like to see you both in her office right away."

When Pandra arrived at Toni'soffice with Thomal, Jacken, Dev, and Alex were already inside. Toni was seated behind her desk, and as they entered, she offered them a smile of greeting that didn't quite curl her mouth all the way. Poor girl. Toni had entered her last month of pregnancy—month ten in the Varcolac gestational cycle—and she seemed to wear a worn expression all of the time. Her humanoid body wasn't especially well adapted to carry a baby for that long, so she was probably as uncomfortable as a woman could get, her belly stretched huge as a Goodyear blimp. Most days Jacken looked like he'd swallowed a prickly pear.

"There's been a symbol killing," Jacken told them without preamble.

Pandra came to a halt. "What? Again?" There hadn't been a murder since Dr. Preston's.

Soon after the plastic surgeon's unfortunate demise, the community had engaged in a whirlwind of preparations to man an attack against Videon. The plan would've even included contacting Raymond, but mostly had entailed getting Pandra up to speed as a fifth element…so that she could perform the ritual to save all Fey life and power on earth.

Right. She'd felt no pressure a'tall when the dotty character Idyll O'Shaughnessy had come down to ??ran? to help Pandra. That'd been eight months ago in this very office, the Special Ops Topside Team of warriors also in attendance, watching Pandra make an utter hash out of it.

"First off," Idyll had said to her. "We want to practice out-of-body travel by having you journey into either the Lower or Upper World. Once you've mastered that, we can align the necessary four components for your journey into the Shifted World."

Pandra nodded mutely, still overcome from learning that she was an all-important fifth element.

Idyll held a small drum that she'd created out of a bowl and some canvas cloth. "I'll pound this at a steady rhythm of about four to seven beats per second. Your brain waves will soon follow that rhythm, then change to match it, putting you into the theta state necessary for a deep, meditative trance. Are you ready?"

Pandra grimaced. "Not particularly."

Idyll lowered her drum to the couch and gave her a motherly look. "Shall I help you relax a bit first?"

"Sure. Got any tequila?" Pandra had meant it as a silly quip, but as she was hit by a blast of hostile tension from Thomal, her chest heated. She and Murk had gone out for tequila after the "event."

She stiffened up tight after that. No fecking way could she relax now. But actually…the shamanka's voice was very soothing as she talked Pandra through some centering exercises. Soon, Pandra's body was melting into the chair, her brain switching to a soft hum.

She didn't think she'd be able to go any further than that. One part of her mind remained very aware of everyone staring at her, the hubby in particular. But as Idyll beat her drum, Pandra reached for the essence that was supposed to be inside her now and…I'll be buggered. She found it. Of all the things. It was like a different life-force, moving about inside her head, winding the hum into a vibration. Pressure built inside her ears, from the inside of her skull out. Her fifth element wanted to get out. Go places.

In her mind, a long, dark hallway appeared. At the end was a door, divine light spearing around the seams. She knew, without knowing how, that she would need to pass through that door to travel to the next sphere. All was fine. She felt absolute control within herself. Her fifth element would allow her to determine exactly where she went. Yet…as she approached the door, she felt a pull at something deep inside of her, something frighteningly deep. She didn't know what it was, but instinct told her to back away. Run, even.

She flipped her eyelids open.

Idyll stopped thumping her drum. "What happened?"

"I…" Pandra broke off. As imperative as this ritual was, an excuse like I wimped out seemed dreadfully insufficient.

Idyll set the drum aside again. "Out-of-body travel requires complete vulnerability, Pandra. You have to bare yourself to the Otherworld forces in order to be allowed passage. Otherwise there can be no trust between our world and theirs. Do you understand this?"

Complete vulnerability. Bare yourself. She understood. She just couldn't do it. She hadn't allowed herself to be completely vulnerable since she'd been out of nappies, so the idea wasn't the freshest.

Toni cast a sidelong glance at Thomal. "Maybe we should clear the room," she suggested softly.

"No." Pandra stood up, her throat constricting. "I'm sorry. I can't do this." She'd left the office. Her guilt over letting everyone down had been somewhat relieved by the cessation of Symbol Killer slayings. She'd thought she was off the hook. No more.

"I'm sorry," Pandra repeated now to Toni. "I know I'm the one who's supposed to prevent these killings. I've tried to perform the ritual again on my own, but—"

"You don't need to apologize," Toni interrupted. "Rituals of a supernatural nature are tricky. I know you want to help. In fact, Alex has an idea that involves you. It's…a bit racy, though." Toni glanced at Thomal.

A scowl began to build on Thomal's brow. "What is it?"

Alex stepped forward. "I've been monitoring Pandra's topside email account," he said, then aimed at Pandra, "As you approved."

Pandra gave her half-brother an it's okay nod. A couple of months ago the Council had deemed Pandra sufficiently well-adjusted to community life to be allowed access to her old email account. She'd declined—unable to think of a single soul she'd like to have contact with—but, aye, had agreed to let her account be monitored.

"A man named Edgar got in touch with you," Alex said.

Pandra arched her brow. "Truly?" Before she'd been wrangled down to ??ran?, she'd heard Edgar had fallen off the grid.

"From the nature of the email, it was clear that he's…uh, attracted to you." Alex's cheeks stained pink.

Edgar must've been extra-descriptive this time.

"We thought maybe you could persuade him to take you to one of Videon's hideouts, then the warriors can storm in and deal with the rest." Alex dipped his chin and gave her a pointed look over the rims of his glasses. "I assume you realize that by persuade, we mean seduce."

Pandra quirked her lips. "You did say racy."

Thomal's scowl deepened. "We don't need her for that. The warriors can follow this dude on our own."

Alex spread his hands. "Besides this email, I haven't been able to unearth traces of him anywhere. I can't tell you the first place to find this Edgar in order to follow him. If we want to get to Videon through Edgar, then Pandra is our best bet."

Toni cupped her belly with her palms, probably trying to relieve pressure on her lower parts. "Would you be willing to email Edgar, Pandra? Set up a meeting?"

"That would raise Edgar's suspicions," Pandra answered. "I stopped answering his emails ages ago. But I know of a sex club where he ponces about. Happens we could find him there."

"No," Thomal said shortly.

"Thomal," Dev interceded. "You heard Alex. This is our only way to Videon."

Thomal swung around. "So you'd be all kumbaya about Marissa doing something like this, Nichita?"

Dev regarded Thomal without expression. "Marissa lives with me in ??ran?'s family neighborhood and is pregnant with my child. I'd say our situations are vastly different."

Thomal's eyes flashed and the skin across his cheekbones reddened.

Pandra nearly sighed. Jolly. Such fun to discuss the sorry state of her marriage like this in front of everyone.

"It's still my call," Thomal gritted. "I'm also not thrilled with letting her go topside. If things get hairy up there, she can use the distraction to her advantage."

Jacken's black brows drew together. "Are you saying you think Pandra's a flight risk?"

There was a tick of a weird pause, like the room was thinking that such a thing wouldn't have been a consideration if Thomal and Pandra were a proper couple.

Toni shifted in her chair and grimaced. "This baby lives on my bladder. Pandra, don't you have The Three Little Pigs play to put on?"

Pandra paused over that comment, then realized what Toni was saying and chuckled. "Ah, indeed. Best I come back, then."

Thomal's eyes narrowed down to thin slits.

Jacken crossed his arms over his chest. "Look, Costache, you got something to say about this that outweighs the loss of all Fey power on earth, then by all means, let's hear it. Meanwhile I give your wife high marks for her willingness to step back to her old ways. Personally, I'm not happy about having to ask her to do that."

At least Jacken recognized how far Pandra had come in the last eight months.

Thomal's jaw flexed, muscles rippling up and down his cheeks. "I go with her. Every step of the way."

A snort slipped out of Pandra.

Thomal glowered at her. "You got a problem with that arrangement?"

"It's just that…you don't exactly fit in with the Iron Cock's usual clientele. They're a bit on the gritty side, and you're…" She shrugged. "Pretty."

"Then I guess you're going to have to hooker me up or slut me down or however you want to say it." Thomal's upper lip tightened at one corner. "You remember how to do that, right?"

She met his icy blue gaze for a long moment. "I remember."