CHAPTER 26 LINCOLN

The rest of the week goes quickly, and suddenly I find myself with the rookies reporting to the Complex for the first day of their camp. The veterans will meet next Monday morning, and the entire team will board the buses to head to California for an intense two weeks as we get a feel for how we're going to gel as a team.

And somehow, I will find a way to sneak in time with Jolene.

It's beyond dangerous for both of us. I'll look like the horny idiot who can't keep it in my pants if we get caught, and she'll look like everything she's trying not to look like.

It's probably better to stay away from each other…but we'll be pressed together day in and day out since she's getting behind the scenes footage.

It's only two weeks.

We can do this.

Except I'm sure we can't.

I'd love to have her sleep over every night before we head out, but she can't. She's spending every possible second she has with her son, and I don't blame her.

For the first time, she really made me think about whether that's something I want, too.

I haven't spent a lot of time around kids, to be honest. I've run into Cade on occasion when I've been at Sam's place, but he definitely resents me. Jonah, on the other hand, makes me wonder whether I could really do this someday. There's something about seeing someone who is half Jolene that makes me love him without even knowing him.

And that's scary as fuck.

* * *

The first week of camp is just the rookies, though some of my older players stop by to offer feedback and help. Both Luke and Ben are here to lead meetings with the wide receivers and tight ends, respectively, along with the position coaches, and Jack offers feedback to the quarterback coach.

Brandon Fletcher showed up. He's not a rookie—in fact, he's been with the Aces longer than Jack Dalton was, but he doesn't want Miles Hudson showing him up. And I don't blame him. The question of who our QB1 is going to be is on everyone's mind right now, but Fletcher is showing up even though he doesn't have to right now. That tells me he's willing to put in the work to earn the title.

A few of our practice squad guys are here to help run drills, but we start the day on the field—mostly because it's hot as fuck in Vegas, and I don't want to wear out the rookies before the rest of the team heads to California next week.

It's how I'll run camp at the vineyard, too. The player's association limits our time on the field to two and a half hours a day, but I will fill up every other second of time that I can with off-field work.

We'll start the day with practice at nine. We'll break for lunch, and then we'll have a team meeting followed by breakout position meetings and individual workouts. We'll break for dinner and finish up the evening with our team installation drills where we review which plays from the playbook we'll be practicing in the morning. Players will be dismissed for the evening, and some will go to treatment while others will stay up studying the playbook and coaches will talk to players individually or to the media if necessary. And then it'll start all over again in the morning.

Some guys dread training camp. Not me. Even when I was a player, I was excited for it. It was the chance to be back with my brothers, the people who understand our love for this game like no one else. It's the chance to show what we're made of, to show how badly we want this. To earn our place.

But one of my favorite parts of camp is seeing those breakout players who put in the work in the offseason. There's always one who you think isn't going to make the fifty-three man roster, and then he surprises the shit out of everyone by playing hard and earning his place.

And I can't wait to see who that's going to be this year. I can't wait to see the vibe we have as I let Brandon take the helm and fight it out with Miles. Brandon's been around longer, but that doesn't mean he deserves it.

Nobody here deserves it. Not until they prove they do.

And that is the crux of what training camp means to me.

Jolene is here taking footage, and we pre-recorded some extra podcast segments to get us through the next few weeks since we weren't sure whether we'd have time to record while we're at the vineyard. I have no idea what it'll look like since I'm with a new team that has different needs than my old team did.

But I do know that while I'm handing a lot of responsibility over to Mike and Andy, I'll still be busy overseeing everything as I give players individual feedback and search for ways to help them improve.

The week passes quickly, and Jolene and I manage to record a few segments to send to Rivera.

She stays late to interview me as she struggles with what to send to Rivera for the podcast and what to hold onto for her own behind the scenes footage for the public, and I suggest using the best stuff for the podcast and using her broadcasts to tease it.

She loves the idea, and she thanks me for it with a quick fuck on top of my desk late at night after everyone's gone home.

I may be exhausted from the day, but I manage to find the energy to pump into her until we both come.

Before I know it, it's Monday morning and we're meeting at the bus lot.

I invited Megan to come along—mostly because she's become a valuable asset to me, inputting all my scribbled notes that I take on the field and editing the playbook as needed, which has been fairly often so far.

The thing I think I like most about her is that I didn't even have to train her. She offers to do things for me I didn't even know she knew how to do because they are things Coach Thompson had her do, and if it takes something off my already full plate, I'm jumping at it.

I spot Jolene in the bus lot as she watches players bid their families goodbye, and I can't help but wonder how hard it was for her to leave her son this morning. He isn't here saying goodbye, and neither is Sam—my girlfriend for all intents and purposes.

We haven't officially broken up yet. We figured we'll be apart anyway, so it doesn't really matter. But once the season gets underway, we'll issue a statement like the one Jolene suggested the other day.

The players bid their families goodbye, and there's nobody for me to say goodbye to, so I get on the bus. I should feel a stab of loneliness at that, but I don't. I can't when the only person I'd want to say goodbye to is coming with us.

She steps on the bus shortly after I do, and she glances around. "Can we sit anywhere?" she asks, and I nod.

She takes the seat across from me.

It's not a short drive to get to California, and Megan told me Coach Thompson used to fly in. But I'm not Mitch. I want to experience this with my team. I coach from the trenches.

Players start to board the bus, and I grimace a little when Austin Graham steps on. That grimace turns to a full glare when he slides into the seat beside Jolene.

They start to talk, and I force the jealous feelings away. I force those familiar feelings of loneliness away, too.

I know where her heart is.

But that doesn't mean I like it…and it doesn't mean I have to give Graham any playing time at all. In fact, as I watch my brother step onto the bus next, I have a feeling Graham will be seeing much more of the pine this year than he was expecting to.

And as Jolene tosses her head back with a laugh and I slip in my earbuds to listen to a podcast, wishing I'd booked a flight instead of riding this dumb bus, I can't help but think I don't really feel so bad for Graham.