CHAPTER 17 LINCOLN

It's another event out with my girlfriend, and frankly I'm ready for this farce to come to an end. I'm tired of faking it with my girlfriend's best friend, of pretending to be something I'm not. Of all of it, really.

But Ellie's right—we have to handle the media a certain way, in particular the gossip sites, and so we're here tonight pretending to be a happy couple who's also going through a rough patch.

"That guy has been following us for the last twenty minutes," Sam says quietly as we head over to the bar. She angles her head toward a man a few yards away, and I glance back at him. I'm certain I've seen him before, and I think he might be another member of the paparazzi.

I've also spotted Ryan Rivera here, and my skin crawled the entire time I talked with him. Something about that guy pisses me the fuck off. I wonder if I'd feel the same way if he'd scored the correspondent position over Jolene, but he didn't, so I guess I don't have to worry about it.

Tonight's event is a fundraiser for a local food bank, and I've already chatted with the CEO about our podcast ideas and how we might be able to work together. We've eaten dinner, I've made my donation, and we can leave soon.

But first…it's time to put on the show.

"Go for it," I say.

"Are you kidding me?" she yells, and I'm taken by surprise by her sudden outburst even though I knew it was coming.

Instead of answering, I blow out a sigh.

"You know my parents' anniversary dinner is important to me! I can't keep missing things that are important to me!" she yells, and she's really going for the Academy Award here.

"I know, and I already told you that I'm sorry. I'm not sure what else you want from me."

"Just a little of your time, Lincoln. You're always working, and I'm not sure how to make us work when you can't sacrifice any time for me." She folds her arms over her chest. She keeps yelling at me, and I'm trying to remain steady and calm. Maybe I'm not quite the actor she is.

"That's fair. You're right. I am always working, and you knew that's what it would be like to be in a relationship with me. My job has to come first." I try to say it gently, but the words hit me as I say them.

It's the crux of why I'm thirty-six and single.

My job has always come first. I'm not sure if that's my father's influence telling me that's how it should be or if it was me burying myself in it so I didn't have to deal with the pain of losing Jolene all those years ago, but here we are.

"I don't know how much longer I can put up with it." She storms away from me, and even though it's for show and this relationship is fake anyway, it still hits me in the gut full throttle.

A woman is walking away from me because I've dedicated my life to the game.

But…is there more to life than football?

It's a question that has come to mind before, but just as quicky as it arrived, I banished it.

It never mattered if there was because I was content with the way things were.

But maybe I'm not so content anymore. Maybe I want to wrestle around with that question a bit. Maybe I want to feel the discomfort it pulses in my stomach. I've schooled myself not to feel over the years, but being with Jolene again has shown me how much feeling I've been missing out on.

I don't want to miss out anymore. And yet, somehow…we have to. And maybe that's the tragic twist on this tale.

I blow out a breath as I let her go, and I hit the bar and grab myself a drink. Last minute, I grab another glass of wine for her, too.

People are watching. And even if they weren't, it's the gentlemanly thing to do. I'll patch over our hiccup here with a glass of wine serving as the bandage, and we'll pretend to make up from our pretend argument, and things will press onward.

Only…that's not exactly how things go down.

We make up for show, and I drag her into my arms. I don't kiss her, though. I never kiss her. How can I when I'm in love with her best friend? Even for the fake show, I can't bring myself to do it. I'll hold her hand. I'll toss an arm around her shoulders. I'll pretend to drag my lips near her cheek or along her neck. But my lips have never touched more than the back of her hand. I can't do it to Jolene, no matter the cost.

And it appears that cost is higher this time than in the past.

I have a text waiting from Lorraine letting me know Jonah is at Sam's with her and she needs to call off our night.

I let Sam know that, and rather than disrupting the balance that's inside the house, I drop her off and don't go inside.

I go home alone, which was never the plan, and when I arrive, I have a text waiting for me from Ellie.

Ellie: Might be time to end things. Article: Vegas Insider: A Look at the New Aces Head Coach's Love Life

I heave out a frustrated breath and don't bother clicking the article.

Me: I refuse to read that trash.

Ellie: Since it's my job to read that trash, you should know there are accusations of you cheating.

Fuck.

I click the article.

The man tapped to lead the Vegas Aces to the next Super Bowl isn't quite the family man his predecessor Mitch Thompson was.

Lincoln Nash has been in Vegas all of three months, and he's already driving the ladies of this town crazy with his charm and looks. He's been seen on the town with nurse practitioner Samantha Reynolds at several events, but just because he's been pictured with one woman around town doesn't mean he's off the market. The public arguments this new couple has already gotten into also tell us they may not last much longer.

A former flame who preferred to remain anonymous tells us, "Linc never wanted to commit because his first love is football. There's no way he would commit to a woman in only three months when we were together on and off for a few years."

Another source claims to have photographic evidence of the coach kissing a local celebrity not so long ago. Is he cheating on the nurse? Stay close as Vegas Insider brings you the latest updates on this developing story.

Seriously? My love life is a developing story?

Well, it is for me, too, I guess.

And who is this supposed source? Jess? She's the only person I was together with on and off for a few years.

I text Ellie back.

Me: It's harmless enough. I'd hardly call my life a developing story.

Ellie: My concern is the word "cheating." I don't want it associated anywhere with your name, particularly not in your debut season as a head coach.

Me: I'm not worried. The two are totally unrelated.

Ellie: Maybe you should be. If you don't have morals in your private life, it's not a stretch that people will associate that with your play calling.

She's got a point.

Me: Okay…so what do you suggest I do?

Ellie: Podcast episode one, we need to shift the focus to showing what a good guy you are. We have a press conference lined up for next Monday to start promoting the new pod, so let's do some practice sessions this weekend. Can you?

I have a fairly full weekend as I plan for training camp, but if it's a chance to get some Jolene time, I'll jump at it.

Me: I'll make time.

Ellie: I'll be in touch with Jolene and get you some options for times.

Me: We can practice at my place.

And then, with any luck, I can have a few minutes to…practice some other things at my place when we're done.