CHAPTER 14 JOLENE

The boys are having fun living together, so I say goodnight and they probably stay up way later than they should talking and doing whatever it is seven-year-old boys do together, but at least I know they aren't playing Minecraft since their tablets are out here with me.

So I figure the boys are long asleep—or at least they're long in their bedroom together—when Sam and Lincoln get back.

I push down those feelings of jealousy that rise in me every time I see her walk through the door with him even though his eyes drift right over to where I'm sitting on the couch.

"How was your night?" I ask.

They both blow out a breath without saying anything, and then they glance at each other. Both burst into laughter.

Great. Now they're sharing inside jokes.

"I planted the first seed tonight," Lincoln says.

My brows dip together in confusion. "What seed?"

"We got into a fight in front of someone from the paparazzi," he expands, and he takes a seat on the couch beside me.

"You…wait, why? I thought you were supposed to wait for further instructions from Ellie," I say as he links his fingers through mine.

"We were," he says. He glances up at Sam. "Would you like to field this one?"

Sam rolls her eyes. "Lincoln has this crazy notion that I'm still in love with Devin."

My brows dip. So not only are they sharing inside jokes, but she's letting him in on things she hasn't even told me?

On the one hand, I'm hurt by that. But on the other, I realize I have no right to be. I haven't exactly been a good friend over the last few weeks. We may be living together, but we hardly see each other between our own work schedules, the boys, and Lincoln. He's either taking her to some event or secretly sleeping with me.

"Well…are you?" I finally ask.

"No." Her first answer is firm and immediate until Lincoln narrows his eyes at her. She slides onto the recliner with a heavy sigh. "Fine. I don't know. Maybe? I didn't really think I was until Linc and I were talking about it tonight."

Linc and I.

She's calling him Linc, and they're a Linc and I. It should be Linc and I, not Linc and her.

"What did you two talk about?" I press. I glance at Lincoln, waiting for him to say something, and he does.

"It's not my story to tell." He nods at Sam, and I feel frustrated that they're sharing even more things I'm not privy to.

"I told him I think I love Devin more now than I did back then, but it's too late since he's engaged to Maddy now." She says it in a rush, and I can't believe this is the first I'm hearing of this.

Lincoln does have this incredible way of getting the truth out of people, but still…I'm surprised she and I haven't broached this topic. I knew she had feelings for him. I knew she didn't hate him the way I hate Jeremy. I knew the weekends were hardest for her when she had to drop Cade at his place and leave, but I thought it had more to do with being without her son than with not being with his dad.

"Oh, Sam," I say softly.

"He's just…he's a good dad to Cade, and I see him now and I know it's my fault things ended. He was so good to me, but you know how it is when you're a new mom. Your main priority is the baby, and it just got hard. We tried for a year and Devin felt like he didn't matter anymore and I didn't do anything to make him feel like he did. I should have, and now it's too late."

"What if it isn't?" I ask.

She shrugs.

"What if he feels the same way?"

"He's engaged to someone else. Clearly he doesn't," she protests.

"He didn't get engaged until he saw you parading around with the coach," I point out, my brows both arched.

"As the coach pointed out to me, too." She stands from the recliner. "I'm going to bed."

I feel like I made her mad by pressing. "I love you," I say quietly. "I just want you to be happy."

She gives me the saddest smile I think I've ever seen. "I know. Back at you. Goodnight, you two."

We both echo it back.

"Ellie texted me on the way home," Lincoln says after a few beats of quiet. "She asked if we could meet here tomorrow morning around eight to go over her action plan. Does that work for you?"

I nod. "Make it eight-thirty just to make sure the boys are out the door."

He sends Ellie a text. "Done." He glances down the hallway toward where the boys are asleep. "I should go home and get some rest."

He's right. I'd rather have him sleep here, but on rare occasion, Jonah gets up for some reason and comes in my room. I'm not quite ready to scar him by seeing his best friend's mom's boyfriend in bed with me.

"Yeah," I murmur, and I'm all twisted up in my emotions right now. I want him to stay. I want him to hold me and tell me we're going to be okay.

"You okay?" he asks. He moves a little closer to me until our legs are touching.

"Yeah. Just a little down, I guess."

"This is hard," he says quietly.

"On more than just us. There are two kids involved, and Sam…it's a lot."

He nods. "What are we doing?"

It's the same question I feel like I've asked a thousand times, and I still haven't arrived at a reasonable answer.

We're exploring things.

We're figuring it out.

Even I'm tired of repeating it in my own head.

But what happens once things are explored and we still haven't figured out the right way to approach any of it?

My hope is that Ellie will have some ideas for us tomorrow.

Because as for me…I seem to be running out of them.