CHAPTER 13 LINCOLN

What the fuck am I doing?

Aside from, you know, walking into a lion's den.

I've never admitted any of that out loud to anyone before, but Jolene somehow has this ability to pull things out of me in a way nobody else can.

Maybe I'm just nervous to give this speech.

I've spoken in front of large crowds before, and I typically maintain my cool. But this is different. I'm speaking from the heart today as I share something I've written with the large crowd who will be gathered here today. Some people here love me because I'm a hometown hero while others hate me because I've coached or played on a rival team.

And maybe the worst thing of all is that I'm talking about overcoming struggles and creating the type of future you want for yourself…but I can't say I've done that myself.

Is this the future I dreamed of?

I nailed down the dream job at thirty-six. I have money in the bank.

But I also have nobody to share it with.

I don't even really have a group of friends to rally around. Jack is my boss. Steve is a colleague. I don't fraternize with players since there needs to be a different level of respect between us. Coaches I've worked with on previous teams are rivals now.

I don't know if I've ever felt such a sting of loneliness, and the woman sitting across from me seems like she could be the answer to all of it.

Yet she can't be the answer to any of it.

How do I give fair interviews to the press if I'm involved with a rival reporter?

How do I ensure the things I'm telling her that are meant to stay between us actually will?

How do I trust that she doesn't always have an ulterior motive?

How do I get past the feelings of distrust I have because of how her father treated mine…and likewise, how does she get past those same feelings?

I'm not sure what the answer to any of that is other than jumping in feet first and taking the goddamn risk.

All I know for sure right now is I need to haul ass over to the stadium. I've spent too much time with her this morning already, and if I don't get moving, I'm going to be late.

I toss two twenties on the table. "I need to go," I say after I wolf down my omelet.

She glances at my empty plate then back at hers, still half-filled with her food. "Oh, okay." Her eyes rise to meet mine, and she looks a little startled by my sudden pronouncement.

"I'm sorry. I need to get over to the stadium. I hadn't realized the time. Thanks for breakfast." I bolt out of there as fast as my legs will carry me in this goddamn suit.

I walk to the stadium. It's a pleasant morning, and it's early enough that the sidewalks around here are mostly empty. It's a short walk, and I pull out my phone to check the directions for where I'm supposed to go once I arrive.

I get to where I need to be, and I spot the continental spread.

I should've just eaten here. It would've been safer.

Instead, I'm going into this speech a nervous wreck that I said the wrong thing, or that somehow my feelings will be plastered all over the media later today.

I need to focus on my speech. I know it well, and I'm ready to go.

It's still a couple hours until showtime, and the current head coach here at the university greets me. We chat football a while, and he fills me in on some promising prospects. I know this program, and I know I'd love to have some of these kids on the Aces.

The media starts to show up, and when it's a mere fifteen minutes until the ceremony begins, I spot her. She walks in with another reporter—identified only by the color-coded credentials they're both wearing—and she's laughing.

The other reporter is male, and my hackles rise.

I'm already on edge with this speech, but seeing her laughing with another man tips me right over that edge.

Ignore her, Nash.

I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath, and when I open them again, I spot her grabbing a bottle of water from a table.

"You all ready, Coach?" a voice nearby says, and I turn to see Hank Elkins, myold tight end coach from when I attended school here.

"Coach Elk!" I say genially, and we shake hands before I give him a quick hug. "How've you been?"

"Living the dream."

"Still coaching?"

He nods. "You bet. I'll be on that field until the day I die." He grins. "Congratulations on your new position, Lincoln. I just couldn't be prouder of the man you've become. I always saw bright things for your future, and I knew you'd make the big time."

"I appreciate that, Coach." We chat a few minutes, and I can't help when my eyes edge over to Jolene as we talk. I want to be here in the moment with a man I've known a long, long time—a man who's saying things I wish my own father would say to me—but I can't. Not when she's here being the sort of distraction I don't need right now.

The media is called out to take their seats, and a few minutes later I'm called to line up with the rest of the bigwigs for the procession so we can take the stage for this ceremony.

And then it begins. The music, the pomp, the circumstance.

The president gives his opening remarks, the graduates promise to contribute to society, a couple students give speeches…and then I'm up. I try not to fidget as I listen to the president speak to the rather large crowd assembled here. I'm told there are around twelve thousand graduates along with their family and friends, bringing the total number here at the stadium to over fifty thousand people…all listening to what I have to say.

"It is my great honor to introduce our distinguished guest speaker, Mr. Lincoln Nash. Mr. Nash is the current head coach of the NFL's Vegas Aces football team as well as a former professional football player, and he is an Ohio State graduate. Mr. Nash is passionate about football, and he is highly respected in his field for his coaching style where he's known for taking risks on the field. We are honored to have him here today to share some inspiring words with our graduates. Please join me in welcoming Lincoln Nash to the podium."

The president steps aside as the crowd cheers, and I smile and nod as I move toward the podium. I shake his hand before I take my place, and I glance out at the crowd before I begin. I draw in a breath, and that's when my eyes land on hers.

She's in the front row on the side of the stadium in a small press box.

She's clapping and smiling, and as our eyes meet, a strange sense of calmness washes over me. It centers me in a way I wasn't expecting.

He's known for taking risks on the field.

I can do it on the field.

But I don't do it when it comes to my personal life.

"Good morning, graduates, distinguished faculty and staff, and guests. It is my honor to be here today to celebrate this momentous occasion you've all worked so hard for, and I'll be honest. I wrote an entire speech, but something happened this morning that changed my entire perspective, and rather than give you the speech I wrote from memory, I want to speak from my heart. You're all at the precipice of the start of your lives, and when I was in your shoes, I was recently drafted into the NFL. I thought I'd play for many years before I retired, but an injury sidelined me, and my life took a different direction. I got into coaching, and I worked my way through the ranks until I landed this new head coaching position. I'm known for taking risks on the field." I pause, and I glance over at her again. "But in my personal life, I tend to play it safe. I've made strategic decisions that have led me to where I am today, and I'm thankful for that. But this morning, someone reminded me that life should be about taking risks. It's about stepping out of your comfort zone and chasing what you want, no matter how scary it seems. So today I urge you all to take risks. Don't be afraid to fail, because success isn't a compilation of your achievements but rather the foundation of the failures you've overcome. The biggest risks can lead to our greatest rewards, and don't let anyone or anything hold you back from reaching for everything you deserve. Congratulations, graduates, and best wishes for a future filled with success."

My eyes find hers one last time before I step down from the podium to thunderous applause, and she's swiping away a tear.

My words hit home for her as much as they did for me. Maybe it's time for the two of us to step out of our comfort zones and take the risk.

Either it'll lead to a failure that we can add to the foundation of our individual successes…or it'll lead to the greatest reward of either of our lives.