CHAPTER 1 JOLENE

I'm shaking as I drive toward Sam's place.

I'd go home, but I don't want to be alone.

He didn't physically threaten me, yet there was something sinister in the way Ryan Rivera was acting. Add on top of that the kiss I shared with Lincoln before he stormed off, and I just need my friend.

I call her to let her know I'm on my way, and thankfully she lets me know she's already at home and in her pajamas.

I draw in a shaky breath as I knock on her door, and she's immediately there with a hug.

"What's going on?" she asks.

I follow her into the family room and collapse on the couch. "Lincoln kissed me and then he said something about how it's out of our systems now and it's not and somehow Rivera got a picture of us and he's using it to threaten me." The words tumble out in one long, mashed up sentence.

"Jesus, that's a lot to unpack," she mutters. "Start at the beginning." She squeals and breaks into a grin. "Lincoln kissed you?"

I blow out a breath. "Yeah. He showed up at the Gridiron with some girl and kissed her right in front of me, so I went to the Complex and confronted him about it. He claims she's just an old friend. Whatever. An old friend he's felt on the inside."

She laughs. "Wow, okay, so how did we move from feeling some other girl on the inside to his mouth planting one on yours?"

"It's complicated. We were fighting and he sort of just went for it and God, it was hot. But then I pushed him away because honestly reality set in. If any of this gets out, both our careers are at stake."

"Can you remind me why that would be so bad?" she asks.

"He's the new head coach. He's trying to make an impression on this town before the season even starts, and he's already tangled up with a reporter?" I shake my head. "It's bad news all around. He'll cause drama for the team ahead of the season, I'll be slut-shamed and people will believe I got this job because of my vagina."

"Don't people already believe that?" she points out. "I mean, you've said so yourself."

"Right. And I'll only be proving those naysayers right if the pictures Rivera took of me making out with Lincoln in the lobby of the Complex hit the media." I purse my lips pointedly at the end.

"Point made," she concedes. "So what are you going to do?"

"Wait it out for now. It was just a threat, and maybe he won't do anything. At the worst, maybe he'll test the waters and report it to Marcus, who'll give me a slap on the wrist. But there was something off about Rivera, and I don't like it."

She twists her lips. "Why don't you and Jonah move in here with us for a while? I know how busy you're going to get once team shit gets underway, and it'll be easier than carting him back and forth to your place," she says. "Plus then you don't have to worry about Rivera confronting you when you're alone."

I wrinkle my nose at the thought. "I hate to impose."

"Shut up. You know you're not. We can take turns with the boys and split rent. It just makes more sense since we spend all our time together anyway."

I twist my lips as I contemplate it. "My parents will help out, too, and I know Jonah would love living with his best friend."

"Cade would love it, too. Let's do it."

I nod. "Okay. Let's do it."

She nods resolutely, and then she says, "Now give me all the details on that kiss."

I give her a half-hearted chuckle, but the truth is I'm not really sure I want to talk about it. She knows about the sordid history between Lincoln and me. She knows about our family feud. She also knows me well enough to know that I still have deep feelings for the guy, and as much as I hate him, I also love him.

"It was a one-time thing I'd rather not relive," I finally say.

But, God, he still smells like the same cologne—exactly the way he smelled all those years ago.

He still holds me like our bodies were made to fit together.

He still causes feelings to pulse in me the likes of which have not been met since him.

I've tried. Over the years, I've sampled enough of the menu to know that what we had was once in a lifetime.

But just because it was special doesn't mean it was meant to last.

I try to convince myself it was nothing more than a teenage crush getting the guy. Deep down I know it was far more than that, but thinking about it that way allows me to pretend like it didn't mean as much as it did. It allows me to bury those feelings down deep.

It allows me to move forward and live my life, focusing on my son and my career.

"Fine," she huffs.

"I should go home and start packing. I'll have to give my notice to my landlord, and there's a million things to do with the season starting soon, and don't forget about the—"

"Take a breath, girl." She shakes her head. "Listen, all that other stuff will work out. If you want to revel in the feel of his lips on yours with your best friend for a minute, it's okay. It's not like I'm going to run and tell your parents on you."

Right.

My parents.

How would my dad feel if he saw the photos Rivera took of us?

He'd feel betrayed. He'd feel hurt. He'd feel like I'm sleeping with the enemy.

But at what point do I give into my own needs and set aside my family's feelings?

If I had the answer to that question, I might have a better idea of how to move forward.

But I don't, and so the only option at this point is complete and total avoidance.

Except that's not possible given our jobs.

I am so fucked.