CHAPTER 11 JOLENE

I stare at the screen even after I've ended the call as tears trail silently down my cheeks.

He's helping me fight this battle.

I didn't ask him to. He just did it. To help me. To help Jonah. To get Jeremy out of the picture.

He's fighting for me while I'm intent on pushing him away. But just because he's trying to do something nice for me doesn't erase the pain I feel over what he did.

I don't know what good it'll do, though. Jeremy is a lot of things, but I doubt an investigator will find anything on him. He knows how to ride the line of looking like he's a standup kind of man when it counts, but nobody knows what he's like behind closed doors. A liar. A manipulator. A cheater. Things that wouldn't hold up in court, as evidenced by what my lawyer has told me, but things that hurt the ones in his path nonetheless.

I feel stuck in this God-awful loop that I can't get out of, and it was Lincoln who managed to help break me out of that for a while.

But it was always too good to be true. If I questioned it the entire time, that should be my loud and proud red flag. It never would've worked.

And yet…I'm carrying his baby now.

I need to tell him, but I haven't come to terms with it myself just yet.

I wipe my tears away and find Sam with the boys watching those damn minions again.

I walk past them into the kitchen as the waterworks start up all over again. I never thought a minion would be enough to set me off, but here we are.

The boys are occupied with the movie, and Sam saunters into the kitchen. "How'd it go?" she asks.

"He hired a private investigator to dig up something on Jeremy," I blurt.

Her jaw drops. "Whoa. Did he find anything?"

"I didn't ask. I don't know. I…" I trail off as I fight to find words.

Words are my business, and now they are failing me.

"He's trying to win your trust back," she says quietly.

"By doing this behind my back?" I ask. "How is that winning my trust back? It's not like he can just do one thing and poof, I'm back to trusting every word he says to me. I'm not sure if I ever really did trust him anyway."

She shakes her head and she points a finger at me. "He's trying to win your trust by telling you he did it. By not keeping secrets from you. And you shouldn't be keeping secrets, either, Jo. If you are, you're a goddamn hypocrite."

It's my turn for my jaw to drop. "Are you kidding me?"

"You're doing the same exact thing you got mad at him for doing," she points out.

"This is totally different!" I practically yell at her.

"Yeah, you're right. It's so much worse. Because what his father did was his father's choice, and he chose to protect his father in that moment. But you're just protecting yourself here." She purses her lips pointedly.

"You're mad I didn't tell you," I mutter.

She folds her arms across her chest. "I'm mad you didn't tell him. He deserves to know, Jo, and I think it's shitty of you to hold onto this." Her words are blunt, and she's always been blunt, but usually her fire isn't aimed at me.

Today it is, and I want to know why.

"Why are you defending him?" I ask, and I remember asking a similar question of my mother not so long ago.

She blows out a frustrated breath. "Because I love you, and I want you to be happy. I saw you with Lincoln. And you know what? He is it for you. I got to know him when we were pretending, Jo, and you're it for him, too. That's it. That's the whole story. So pull your head out of your ass and get over this one blip so you can celebrate that baby. Then you and Jonah and the baby can build your future together with Lincoln."

I should be mad at the way she's talking to me, but in that moment, I realize something important.

It takes a good friend to point out when you're turning a blind eye to something. It takes a best friend to call you out on your shit.

"What baby?" a small voice asks from behind me.

All the blood drains from my face before I whip around to find Jonah standing there.

Oh shit.

Sam just called me out about keeping secrets, and I'm about to hold onto another one.

I clear my throat. "Oh, it's nothing, honey. Just mom talk." I offer him a smile, but I'm certain it comes off as weak and insincere.

He narrows his little eyes at me. "Are you having a baby?" he point blank asks.

How can I lie to him? He's my little boy. I blow out a breath, and then I nod. "Yes. But I haven't told anybody yet."

His eyes grow as wide as saucers. "I'm getting a little brother or sister?" he asks.

I nod as I smile. This isn't how I wanted him to find out, but it is what it is. "You sure are."

He punches a fist into the air. "Yes! Let's go! I'm going to be the best big brother ever! But I really hope it's a boy. I already have two little sisters at Dad's house." He wrinkles his nose, and I can't help a laugh.

I kneel down and pull him into a tight squeeze. "You already are the best big brother ever, Jonah. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom."

I glance up at Sam, and she's smiling down at the two of us. I guess she approves of my honesty with my son.

Now if I could just listen to Sam's advice and pull my head out of my ass, I might be able to work up the nerve to let the dad in on my little surprise.

But I'm still not so sure we'll be able to figure out a way to move forward together even when I finally do tell him.