CHAPTER 1 LINCOLN

It's the waiting that's going to kill me.

I'm fine. I feel fine. The nurse ran a battery of tests on me, and they thought maybe I had a concussion, but I've had plenty of those and I know this isn't one.

I can't find any sort of distraction when I'm worried about Jolene. Her wrist was already swelling, and she said she had a headache. I wonder if she banged her head as hard as I banged mine. I wonder if she has a concussion. If her wrist is okay. If she is okay.

I wonder how to make us okay.

She told me there's nothing left for us to fight for.

We have everything to fight for.

I'm not ready to give up.

I know I hurt her. I knew she'd be devastated if she ever learned the truth. There has to be some way to win her back, to prove to her that she can trust me.

I'm just not sure what it is.

We thought if we could just make our families see that we belong together, we'd make it through. How fucking na?ve we were.

There's nothing in the world that would ever bridge our families together, and now she hates me for keeping my father's secret.

I can already predict that my family will assume she purposely set out to hurt me in what was only a terrible accident tonight. I don't blame her. I only blame myself, and I'm glad I was in the car with her. I'm glad we were together so I could call for help. I'm glad she wasn't alone.

But being glad about all those things doesn't get us back together.

"What room is Jolene Bailey in?" I ask the nurse.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't discuss another patient with you due to privacy laws."

I blow out a breath. "You can't tell me if she's okay?"

"She's not my patient tonight."

A little growl of frustration escapes my throat. I get that this woman is just doing her job, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to accept.

I try texting her.

Me: Are you okay?

She doesn't reply.

She's okay. She said she was okay when we were in the car. But that doesn't take away any of the worry I feel right now.

It seems to take forever before they set me free, and I walk up to the front desk. "Can I see Jolene Bailey please?"

"It's an emergency room, sir. Immediate family only."

I heave out a frustrated breath and take a seat in the waiting area.

I think about texting Sam to let her know what's going on, and that's when I realize she may be my ticket in.

I give her a call, and she answers right away. "Hey, Lincoln."

"Hi, Sam. Listen, we're okay, but Jolene and I were in an accident tonight. We're at the ER and they won't let me back to see her."

"You were in an accident?" she screeches. "Oh my God! I'll be right there!"

"No, Sam, stop. Like I said, we're okay. I've already been released, but she's still back there and you need to stay with the boys. But I'm worried. Can you get me in?"

"It's best if you stay out of the way, Lincoln. Okay? Let the nurses do their jobs."

I blow out yet another breath in even more frustration. "Fine," I mutter.

"What happened?"

I'm not really sure how much to get into this over the phone, but I do know one thing. Jolene is going to want to talk to her best friend about the shit that went down tonight, and I don't think I should be the one who breaks the story first.

Besides, I'm not really up for talking about it. It's well after midnight now, and I just want to go home and go to bed…with Jolene in my arms.

"I'm sure she'll tell you. I'll make sure she gets home safe." I cut the call.

And then I wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

It's after two before she emerges. A nurse pushes her out in a wheelchair, and she looks…different. Like she's been crying. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm on the verge of that myself.

"I've got it from here," I say, and I grab the handles of the wheelchair from the nurse as I figure I'll call a car to get us home.

Jolene shakes her head, and I can't see her face from here but I can hear it in her voice. She's mad, but she's also exhausted. "No, Lincoln. It's fine. I have a Lyft on its way over to get me. I'll get home on my own."

"Like hell you will," I mutter. "I'm coming with you."

"Remember what happened the last time you forced your way into a car with me?" she snaps.

I sigh. "Prayers up that our driver isn't emotionally impaired."

She doesn't respond, but even from above her I can tell her jaw is clenched. Maybe it's too soon for jokes.

"Everything check out okay?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I'll live." She holds up her wrist. "It isn't broken, so that's a positive." She freezes for a beat after she says the words. "Just go, Linc," she begs.

"Not until I'm sure you're home safe." I say the words apologetically because honestly, I am sorry. I'm sorry for all of this, and I need to find some way to make her see that.

She huffs without further argument.

We wait outside for the ride she called, and I head home with her.

Sam must've been waiting worriedly by the door when we pulled up because the door is open and she's waiting for her friend with open arms when we walk up.

Jolene practically falls into her.

"I'm home," Jolene says to me, her tone snippy. "You can go now."

"What's going on?" Sam asks, and I just shake my head while Sam holds her up.

"Just go," Jolene says, and I heave out a deep sigh but I give her what she wants.

I'll beg tomorrow. The pain is too fresh right now—both physical and emotional—and I'm not going to push it after all we've been through tonight.

I feel beaten down and broken, but I also know a new day will dawn tomorrow, and we can figure this out. We will figure this out. There's just no other option.

The driver is still in the driveway, so I wave him down. "Can I catch a ride home?" I ask.

He nods, and I hop in the back and give him my address. We pull up to my place ten quiet minutes later. He tried making conversation, but I just don't have it in me tonight to make small talk about my team when there's so much on the line.

When I can't stop thinking about the gold flecks in her hazel eyes.

When I'm scared as fuck that I'll never get to see those eyes smiling in my direction again.

I'm doing everything I can in the back of this goddamn car to hold myself together. I'm nearly failing by the time we pull up to my house.

I head inside, and my mom is asleep on the couch. She must've waited up for me as long as she could before she gave in.

I'll fill her in tomorrow, and maybe she'll even help me figure out where I go from here.

I take a shower and climb into the bed that was supposed to be for the two of us, and I try to fall into a sleep that never comes.