Epilogue

Gianni

“Gianni.”

It was Ellie’s voice whispering my name in the dark. Soft and sweet, the way she did when she was feeling in the mood. Lately, that hadn’t been too often—and I got it, she was nearly nine months pregnant—so even if it was in the middle of the night and I’d been sound asleep a moment ago, I was up for this.

“Mmmm.” I rolled over and reached for her. And reached. And reached. And reached again. She wasn’t there.

“Gianni.” Her tone was less soft and sweet now, more insistent and annoyed.

I sat up and opened my eyes, her body taking shape in the shadows. She was standing at the side of the bed, dressed. “What? What’s wrong?”

She switched on the lamp. “I’m in labor.”

My heartbeat kicked into a gallop. “It’s not time yet! You have ten more days!”

She laughed. “Babies don’t always arrive on a schedule. When they’re cooked, the timer goes. And my timer went.”

I swung my feet to the floor and took her by the shoulders. “Are you sure? What time is it? Did you call the doctor?”

“I’m sure. It’s two-thirty, and yes. The on-call OB said to go to the hospital, since my water broke.”

“It did?”

“Yes. I got up to go to the bathroom and that was that.”

“Okay. Okay.” I got out of bed and started barreling around the room like a tornado. “Get dressed.”

“I’m dressed.”

“I was talking to myself.” I was opening and closing drawers, yanking things out and putting them on without even caring what they were. I shoved my feet into some shoes. I stuck a hat on my head. I remembered at the last second to put on deodorant, reaching beneath the sweatshirt I’d thrown on.

“Gianni, relax. It will probably be hours before this baby is here. And I need you not to panic, okay?”

I turned around and saw Ellie standing there, her belly huge, her hands braced on her lower back. Her long, dark hair hung loose around her shoulders. She looked so young and beautiful, my heart hurt. I tossed the deodorant aside and took her in my arms. “Are you scared?”

“Yes.” She smiled nervously, her brown eyes shining with excitement. “But I have you, right?”

“You have me. I’ll never leave your side.”

“Then I’m okay.”

I kissed her forehead and held her close for a moment, willing myself to be braver than I felt. She needed me to stay calm and reassuring, so even though I felt like a thousand bulls were fighting inside my rib cage, I had to remain still. “Got your bag?”

“I got it.”

“Then let’s go.”

Our new house still smelled like fresh paint, which I’d read might be harmful for the baby, but Ellie assured me that it had been over a month since I’d covered the seafoam green walls in one of the bedrooms with several coats of soft ivory. That had pretty much been my only job until it was time to put the crib together. Ellie, her mom, and my mother had filled the room to bursting with furniture and pillows and stuffed animals. I mostly just stood to the side and watched as the nursery came together, but I had to admit it turned out nice. I liked that it wasn’t too girly—no frilly lace or bubble gum pink, just neutrals like ivory and light brown and moss green. My favorite thing in it was this giant stuffed giraffe that I’d bought on a whim one day. Ellie had rolled her eyes and sighed, but gamely set it up in one corner next to the bookshelf.

I helped her down the stairs, through the kitchen, and into the garage. Opening the car door for her, I was overwhelmed by it all. “Ellie!”

She looked at me with alarm. “What?”

“Do you realize that the next time we pull into this garage we’ll have a baby in that thing?” I pointed to the infant car seat I’d installed in my SUV last week.

She laughed. “I certainly hope so. Because I’m evicting this child from my body today. Enough is enough.”

I held her hand the whole way to the hospital. “So what will we do if she doesn’t look like a Claudia Lupo?”

“She would not dare to come out looking like anything else,” Ellie said confidently. “She and I have had many chats about this.”

I chuckled. “Good.”

“And I promise, as soon as I can think about planning a wedding, I’ll change my name to Lupo too.”

I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it. We’d gone back and forth about when the right time to get married would be—before the baby or afterward—and finally decided to wait. Our parents had been hoping we’d tie the knot right away, but both Ellie and I were okay deferring it. She deserved the wedding of her dreams, not an emergency affair, and even though our mothers swore up and down it would be elegant and stunning, and they could handle everything , Ellie and I had stuck together and defended our right to do things on our own terms. It was enough for me that she’d said yes and wore the ring on her finger.

“It’s okay,” I said. “We’ll get married when we’re ready. We don’t have to do things in a certain order or the same way everyone else does—that’s boring .”

She looked over at me and laughed. “We’ll never be boring.”

I smiled and felt like my heart might actually explode—had I honestly ever imagined life could offer a better adventure than this? Starting a family with the person you loved more than anything else in the world? Being so happy there weren’t even words to express it? Feeling so alive you thought you might jump right out of your skin?

My eyes teared up, and I kissed her hand again. I’d never stop being grateful for her.

“Look at my daughter. Isn’t she the most beautiful baby you have ever seen?”

“Gianni, you have to stop saying that to everyone who comes in here,” said Ellie from the bed. To the nurse who’d come in to check her vitals, she said, “Sorry. First-time dad over there.”

“No problem,” the nurse chirped. When she was finished with Ellie, she peeked at the little bundle I held in my arms near the foot of the bed. “Oh, she is a beauty. Look at those huge blue eyes.”

“Thank you,” I said to the nurse. I gave Ellie a triumphant look. “See?”

She sighed.

“Don’t listen to her, Claudia.” I looked down at my daughter’s little face with its chubby pink cheeks and tiny perfect lips and dimpled chin. “You’re the most beautiful baby in the world, and no one will ever convince me otherwise. You’re almost as beautiful as your mommy.”

Claudia looked up at me with those wide blue eyes, blinked once, and went back to sleep. I was tired too—the books weren’t lying about the exhaustion of becoming a parent.

Claudia had been born just before noon yesterday. I’d spent the first night here at Ellie’s side while she labored, and last night I’d spent in the chair by the window. Ellie had told me to go home and get a good night’s sleep in our bed, but I hadn’t been able to leave. Not only did I not want to be separated from them, but I didn’t want to miss anything. I’d already changed my first messy diaper (totally and utterly disgusting), learned how to swaddle (I was actually pretty good at it), and rocked her to sleep (my new favorite thing in the world). I’d stood by while Ellie struggled with nursing, wishing I could be more help, but the nurse reassured Ellie that lots of moms and babies found it a challenge in the beginning and to keep at it. The next few times had gone better.

“If the doctor gives the okay, we can go home later this afternoon,” Ellie said. “I can’t wait to sleep in our bed.”

“Me neither. But it’s kind of weird they’re just going to let us walk out of here with her.”

Ellie laughed. “Why?”

“I don’t know. How can they be sure we’re qualified? I mean, I’m gonna do my best, but I’m still not a hundred percent confident in myself as a father.”

She smiled. “I am. Come here.”

I brought Claudia over to Ellie and sat on the side of the bed. “I’m totally obsessed with her, Ell. Is this normal?”

Ellie laughed. “I am too. And yes, I think it is.”

“The dad books don’t tell you about this, you know?”

“About what?”

“Just... this.” My eyes got watery, and I cleared my throat. “How much love it’s possible to feel. How protective you’ll feel. How you can’t imagine there was ever a time in your life you didn’t want this.”

“Gianni Lupo, are you crying ?”

“ No ,” I said, although I was totally crying.

She laughed again and tipped her head onto my shoulder, brushing her thumb over Claudia’s cheek. “It’s okay. I feel it too. And she is the most beautiful baby in the world.”

We sat there together for a few minutes in silence, looking down at our sleeping child. “It’s kind of incredible, isn’t it?” she asked quietly.

“What is?”

“This whole thing. A year ago, I would never have believed this was possible.”

I shook my head. “Me neither.”

“It was just a blizzard bang,” she said, laughing gently. “And now look at us. We’re a family.”

“We’re a family,” I said. I kissed the baby’s head and then Ellie’s. “Forever.”

THE END