Chapter 69

69

Mira

The sound of a baby’s crying percolates through my sleep. I must be dreaming. Am I dreaming?

"Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to intrude," a voice says.

I fight my way up through layers of drowsiness to find Summer standing in the doorway, and in her arms, is a toddler. The baby whose crying I must have heard. Her gaze moves from my face to that of the man who’s kneeling next to the bed. His fingers are twined with mine, and his forehead is pressed into the back of my palm. My fingers twitch. I want to reach out and run them through his thick hair. But before I can act on my impulse, he looks up at me. "I called Summer; I hope you don’t mind?"

I shake my head.

"I thought it would be good for you to have some company—" He swallows. "—someone with whom you could talk?"

I nod, unable to speak. His features are drawn, and in the sunlight pouring in through the open window, he looks haggard. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his cheekbones are hollow. I, on the other hand, feel refreshed after having napped. Our gazes meet. There’s warmth in his, and regret, and love, so much love. He catches my hand, then brings it to his mouth and kisses my fingers.

The baby yells again. Ed releases my hand, then walks over to Summer and holds out his arms. "Want to take a walk, little man?"

He blinks, then jumps into Ed’s arms.

"O-k-a-y?" Summer looks stunned. "He’s been stuck to my side since he woke up this morning. Which is why I brought him along."

"Can he eat blueberries?" he asks her.

"Yes, luckily, he hasn't exhibited any allergies."

He turns his attention back to the boy. "Whaddya think? Would you like some blueberries?" The kid babbles something, and Ed nods. "Blueberries, it is." He turns back to Summer. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Yes, please," Summer says with enthusiasm.

"And tea and croissants for you, wife?" He looks at me over his shoulder.

OMG, I’ll never get over how it feels when he calls me wife. Also, that’s sneaky. If he continues to call me wife in that brandy-laced voice of his, I’ll never be able to think straight. I’ll never be able to decide what I want my future to look like. Do I want to stay with him? How do I get past everything he’s told me? How do I trust him again? And why is it, I still feel safe with him? Especially after he told me how he stalked me. How he took the life of another man. My mind spins, and when I rub at my temples, he frowns.

"You okay, wife?"

I nod. "I’m good, just uh, still waking up, I think." I clear my throat. "And tea and croissants sounds wonderful; thank you."

He searches my features for another second, then the toddler tugs on his chin and draws his attention. "Okay, come on little man, let’s get you some blueberries and milk, maybe?" He looks at Summer, who folds her fingers together in a gesture that says, please and thank you and you are a lifesaver . He walks out of the room, and Summer heads toward me. “He’s so good with kids; he's going to make a great father someday.

Tears prick the backs of my eyes. I know he will. Only, it’s not going to be as quick as I’d hoped.

She must notice the distress on my face, for her features soften. “Oh, Honey, how are you feeling?" She drops into the chair. "Edward messaged me. I hope you don’t mind that I came over."

"It’s good to see you. I suppose, I could do with someone to bounce my thoughts off of."

"Hit me, sister." She toes off her boots, then pulls up her knees and settles into the armchair.

"Did… Did Ed tell you what happened last night?"

"He just said you weren’t feeling well, and it might help you to have another woman around."

I nod slowly. "I found out I wasn’t pregnant."

"Okay?" She frowns. "I didn’t think you two were going to try for a child right away."

"It was an accident. No, it wasn’t an accident." I glance toward the doorway.

She follows my line of sight, then jumps to her feet, walks toward the door and closes it. "There, now we can talk freely." She curls up in her armchair again.

"He substituted my contraceptive pills with vitamin pills."

She freezes. "You're telling me Edward switched out your oral contraception?"

I nod.

"And you found out because?—?"

"He told me. He also revealed he spied on me."

Her gaze widens. "Edward spied on you?"

"He saw me first, in Brooklyn, when I lived in my father’s house, a year ago. I had graduated and was looking for jobs in New York, and I couldn’t afford to live on my own. I hated having to do it but moving back home helped me save enough to buy a one-way ticket out of there and to London."

"How did he spy on you?"

"He had someone install cameras in my room and bugged my phone. And my Kindle."

"Oh, my god." Summer presses her hands to her mouth. "And he confessed all of this to you?"

"Yep."

"Okay." She runs her fingers through her hair. "How do you feel about it?"

"I don’t know," I say honestly. "When I thought I might be pregnant with his child… I was willing to forgive him for everything. Having a child, the one thing I have always yearned for, seemed to make everything right. But then?—"

"—you found out you weren’t."

I nod.

"And now you’re angry with yourself for feeling so ready to forgive him because you thought you got what you wanted, a child?"

I nod again.

"And now you’re wondering what to do?"

I raise my shoulders. "What am I going to do? Do I leave him? And go where? Do what?"

"And what is Edward saying?"

"We haven’t discussed anything in great detail, but he says he's sorry for what he did. No, let me rephrase it: he’s sorry his actions hurt me, but he’s not sorry he did it."

"What does that mean?" She places her chin on her knee.

"That watching me saved him. That if he hadn’t been able to see what I was up to on an ongoing basis, he’s not sure what he would have done."

She rubs at her temples. "Babe, this is a lot to take in."

"You’re telling me."

"No wonder, he thought you could benefit from talking to someone else."

"You’ve known Edward longer than me. What do you make of all this?"

"The fact that he turned stalker on you? That he was so obsessed with you, he had to watch you via secret cameras?"

I wince. "When you put it that way, it does sound creepy."

"Question is, why aren’t you freaking out more about it?"

I throw up my hands. "Don’t you think I’m not asking myself that question? Where is my self-respect, my dignity, my ego? Am I such a doormat that I’ll allow him to get away with what he did?"

"Or maybe, you’re flattered that he was so focused on you?"

"Eh?" I narrow my gaze.

"Are you flattered by the fact he was… is so infatuated by you."

"Maybe?" I wriggle around, trying to find a more comfortable place in the bed. "My mother died when I was young, and my father never paid much attention to me… And my stepmother and sisters? Let’s just say, they didn’t care what I did, as long as it didn't affect them. And then, to find out this man took one look at me and decided I was the one for him."

"That’s what he told you?"

I nod. "Only, he didn’t act on it, like a normal man. He decided to get fixated on me. And then, oh, yeah… When he realized my father’s business was in trouble, he stepped in and told him he’d marry me in exchange for saving his company."

She whistles.

"Exactly."

She moves around and drapes herself sideways on the chair, so her legs hang over one of the arms. "When Sinclair and I met, he came onto me in the conference room of his office, then filmed me and used the video to blackmail me into marrying him."

"He did?"

"Also, there was this whole thing of him holding my father responsible for the incident, so he wanted revenge and decided to take it by marrying me."

"Oh." I stare at her. "Was your father responsible?"

"He gave information to the people behind the incident to save me and Karma. He didn’t have a choice. And Sinclair seemed to think he didn’t, either, but—" She raises a shoulder.

"But—?"

"But of course, there’s always another way. Was I pissed off with Sinclair? Yes. Did I want to leave him? It crossed my mind, but I was already in love with him. I couldn’t see a life without him. And then he changed. Turned out, it took the love of a good woman to reform him. And of course, he apologized and said he’d do anything to make me happy, and"—she tilts her head—"I chose to believe him. Not that I’m advising you to do the same."

"You’re happy, though?"

Her lips curve in a soft smile. "Very. He’s the best husband ever, and as a father, he’s so devoted. He’s changed his entire life for us and maintains we're the best thing that's ever happened to him. He says we help him stay grounded."

"You got your happily-ever-after." I try to keep the wistfulness out of my voice but don’t think I succeed, for she leans forward and takes my hand in hers.

"Oh, honey. It wasn’t easy, but I persevered. I just knew it was Sinclair or nothing. I guess, I didn’t hold his actions against him. He’d been through so much, and then he showed he could change. Again, I’m not saying that’s what you should do?—"

"So, what should I do?"

"I can’t tell you that." She shakes her head. "But what I can tell you is that you’ll know, when you know. And if you can hang in there until you know… Well,"—she purses her lips—"do you think you can do that? More to the point, do you want to do that?"