Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

‘T hanks, Santa.’ Kira shook the old man’s mittened hand and he actually ‘ho-ho-ho’d’ at her. She wasn’t entirely sure if he thought he was really Santa or not, but she wasn’t about to ask. He’d just spent the entire day in the cabin greeting dozens of sticky children, plenty of whom had screamed at the sight of him. The man had endured a lot in the name of Christmas joy. He could think whatever he wanted about himself, he’d just brought her a ton of business.

‘My pleasure, Ms. North.’ His eyes twinkled. Maybe he really was…

Kira shook her head. Owning this winter wonderland was making her nuts.

‘Drive safe!’ she called as Santa headed to his car.

The sun had set over an hour ago and the lights she’d strung up across the trees, twinkled merrily above her. Even a week later, the snow from the storm had stuck around, creating an ambience she couldn’t have paid for. And she had to admit, looking around at the lights and the trees and the happy families piling into cars blaring Christmas carols from the speakers, she almost didn’t hate Christmas. And she was sure as hell proud of what she’d built.

‘Hey, Peaches.’ The sound of Bennett’s voice pulled her attention to the window of the cabin where his face peered out at her. ‘Did Santa mean to leave this giant box of candy canes behind?’

‘Oh, yeah. He said we could keep them. Something about having his own special supply.’

Bennett chuckled, the sound warm and familiar. ‘That guy was bizarre.’

‘Very.’

He gave her another smile and then popped back inside where he was probably cleaning up. It was one week until Christmas, and Bennett had sort of moved in and had kind of been helping her run the place since the snowstorm and it was all a terribly bad idea and yet…

He came out of the little cabin, down the steps and put an arm around her. ‘Ready to head home?’

Home.

Together.

She was in so deep.

‘Yep.’

They walked from the tree farm parking lot up the drive to her house, and it was all such an epically bad idea but she couldn’t seem to walk away from it. After the storm, Bennett had gone back to Jeanie’s apartment, and they’d pretended that they were actually parting ways, that the end of the storm heralded the end of them. There really was no point in extending this fling until New Year’s Day. She’d tried to tell herself it was for the best, that there was no need to drag this out. Better to say goodbye now.

But it was Christmas .

No one wanted to be alone for Christmas.

And Chloe was across the world. And her parents made her crazy. And what was she supposed to do, ignore the sexy man she liked just because he was leaving soon? Why start missing him before she had to?

So she might have invited him back in a moment of weakness, and he’d accepted, and he’d brought some extra clothes and his dogs and his laptop, and now for a week, he’d worked from her kitchen table and helped her when she needed it, and they’d slept on that mattress he’d dragged in front of the fire, and it was all so good that Kira couldn’t give it up.

Not yet.

Describe yourself in two words. Selfish and stupid. That was her. But people could only change so much at one time, right? She didn’t want to sprain something.

They walked into the house to find Elizabeth laid out on the bed by the fire and the two smaller dogs perched on the couch, snoring loudly.

‘Off the bed.’ Bennett snapped his fingers and the big dog looked at him with doleful eyes.

Kira laughed as he gave a sigh of frustration.

‘Off the bed,’ he growled, and the dog slowly unwound herself and sauntered over to the dog bed they’d put in the corner.

The other corner was filled with Kira’s Christmas tree decorated with the attic ornaments and more lights than really seemed necessary, but Bennett had insisted. He’d also strung white lights across the mantle and suddenly Kira was living inside one of the holiday movies she’d once loved to mock.

But surprisingly, she didn’t hate it.

The whole thing was very different from her mother’s professionally decorated trees that she had in nearly every room of their house, each with a different theme, making the house feel like a Christmas museum. Whereas, this little tree, with its hand-me-down ornaments felt … cozy. Homey. It was an entirely new type of Christmas, one she was making with Bennett. One she’d never forget.

She sighed, tossing herself onto the couch, exhausted from removing her boots and outerwear.

‘Winter is so hard,’ she groaned, snuggling into the dogs’ warm bodies.

‘Why did you pick a farm so far north?’ Bennett asked as he hung up his coat in the hall.

‘Trying to get as far from home as possible,’ she said through the blanket door. ‘Also winter seemed pretty theoretical at the time.’

Bennett appeared back in the room a minute later. ‘Why not California?’

‘Too expensive. Too earthquakey.’

‘Right.’

Right. Maybe in some other timeline, some other dimension or whatever, Kira and Ben would have met in California. Maybe their lives would have fit together better. Maybe she wouldn’t have had to let him go.

But she didn’t live in whatever timeline that was.

She was here.

In the winter.

He sat down on the other side of the dogs, laptop on his lap. ‘Got a few things to finish up.’

‘Sure. Of course.’ He’d been fitting in his work in between loading trees onto cars and filling in for Iris when she’d come down with the flu. Guilt had been Kira’s constant companion. He was doing too much for her.

Kira grabbed one of Edwin’s old letters from the stack she’d gathered on the coffee table. She’d been going through them looking for clues about where he’d hidden his treasure, but so far had found nothing but smut. She’d also spent a few evenings sorting through the boxes in the attic. But besides a few boxes of old books, she hadn’t found anything valuable. Yet . She was still holding out hope for a Christmas miracle.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out.

‘It’s Chloe. FaceTiming. Do you mind?’ she asked Bennett.

‘Go for it.’

‘Hey, Chlo.’ She smiled at her sister’s face.

‘Kiki!’

Bennett gave a little snort at the nickname and Kira nudged him with her foot.

‘God, you’re hard to get a hold of lately.’

‘I’m a very important business owner.’

She said it with a self-deprecating laugh, but Chloe beamed. ‘I know. I’m so proud of you.’

Heat flooded Kira’s face as her sister went on. ‘I was worried about you at first. There were a few times you really looked a mess, I mean, like really bad…’

‘Okay, Chlo. I get it. Thank you.’ She didn’t need Ben to hear exactly how much of a hot mess she had been, not that he hadn’t seen plenty of it himself.

Her sister tipped her head to the side, studying Kira, her dark eyes seeing everything. ‘You look different.’

Kira shrugged. ‘Same old me.’

‘No…’ Chloe shook her head, her glossy hair flowing like dark waves over her shoulders. ‘No, you’re like glowing or something.’ Then her eyes lit up in a way that made Kira wish she’d left the room to take this call, and risked freezing to death.

‘You’re getting laid!’ her sister exclaimed triumphantly, and Kira wanted to dissolve into the cushions. Bennett chuckled softly at the other end of the couch.

‘That’s not it.’

‘That’s definitely it. You are aglow with orgasms!’

‘Maybe I gave them to myself.’

Bennett shifted in his seat, a blush working its way up his neck. Kira bit down on a smile.

‘Oh, my God, is he there right now?!’ Chloe looked like she would climb through the screen if she could.

‘Uh … nope.’

‘Liar!’

‘I’m not a liar. It’s nothing, okay. I met a guy in town and we hooked up and that’s it. Really.’ She wished that was a lie. She wished Bennett was more than a hookup. But there was no point in telling Chloe about it. About him. Just one more thing for her sister to worry about.

Chloe narrowed her eyes, still not quite believing her. ‘Well, he must have been pretty damn good. Your skin looks amazing.’

Bennett stood and gestured toward the kitchen, excusing himself from having to hear more of this painful conversation.

‘I’m staying hydrated.’

Chloe nodded. ‘Good.’

‘So how are things with you?’

A small frown crossed Chloe’s face.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Just a little homesick, I guess.’

‘Homesick? What do you miss more, Dad’s disapproving silence or Mom’s disapproving lectures?’

Chloe huffed. ‘I miss you, you idiot.’

Kira’s heart ached.

‘I miss you, too.’

‘So, you’re not going home for Christmas?’ Chloe asked.

‘No, although I did receive Mama’s engraved invite for the Christmas Eve party.’

‘Oh, lord, I hope you RSVP’d promptly. You know how she hates a late response.’

Kira laughed. ‘I sent that thing right back with my “I regretfully decline” faster than you could say there’s not a chance in hell I’d go back for that pretentious party.’

‘We’ll have to go back eventually.’

Kira frowned. It had taken a lot out of her to leave. She didn’t want to think about going back. Not now. Not when she was just getting her footing.

‘I suppose. But not today. I doubt Mama was torn up about it.’

‘Your southern is coming out,’ Chloe teased, her own accent thickening the longer she spoke. Kira could feel it happening, her words slowing down, thick and syrupy like the sweet tea Elaine used to make in the summer.

‘Hush your mouth!’ Kira gasped.

And Chloe giggled at the phrase. ‘Well, I declare, sister. You look madder than a wet hen!’

Kira’s laughter joined Chloe’s. ‘Remember how Memaw always used to say that about Mama when we’d get our good shoes dirty?’

‘Oh, I remember.’

‘I remember you always covered for me. Telling Mama tall tales about boys that splashed mud on us even though we had stomped in the puddles on the way home.’

Chloe shrugged. ‘It wasn’t like we didn’t have plenty of shoes. Surely, we could ruin a pair or two.’

Their laughter died down. Maybe there were a few things Kira did miss about home, but it was all wrapped up in her sister. She was sure that wherever Chloe was would feel like home to her. But her sister was married to a Dane who designed those ubiquitous plastic toy building blocks for a living. And she wasn’t coming home anytime soon.

‘Kira, is that a Christmas tree?’ Chloe’s eyes grew in surprise.

‘Oh … yeah… Had to play the part of a Christmas-lover if I’m going to sell Christmas trees.’

Chloe was studying her again like she could tell that a sexy man had cut down that tree for her and helped her decorate it, and that they made love by the glow of its lights every night and that Kira felt like she was building a home with someone else who would leave her.

Instead, she just smiled. ‘I’m really happy you’re happy there, Kiki.’

‘Thanks, Chlo.’

‘Let me let you go.’

Kira smiled at the phrase. Another one from their childhood. ‘Okay, love you.’

‘Love you.’

Kira snuggled into the closest dog, trying to swallow the emotions that always bubbled up after talking to her sister. Her childhood had been cold and strict, in some ways, and incredibly permissive in others. Her parents, mostly her mother, had incredibly high standards for her and Chloe: the way they looked, the way they talked, the way they behaved. Appearances were everything. Which was why Kira had spent so much time and energy doing everything in her power to fight against those restraints. And when she fell, when she screwed up, made a spectacle, her father’s money had always been there to bail her out.

It was a toxic way to grow up.

She didn’t need a therapist to tell her that.

‘Is it safe to come back in?’ Bennett peered in through the blanket door. ‘Or are you still discussing my sexual prowess?’

Kira chucked a pillow at him and he laughed.

‘What?’ he said, rejoining her on the couch. ‘I can’t help it, if I make you glow.’

‘Oh, shut up.’

He grinned.

She grinned back.

Stupid and selfish to her very core.

She gave the dogs between them a gentle shove and they hopped down to find Elizabeth and their doggie bed.

Kira moved and straddled Bennett’s lap, his work put away for the day.

He raised his eyebrows.

‘I have a glow to maintain,’ she said.

He laughed a little, but the amusement didn’t reach his eyes. ‘Good thing your local hookup is here.’

‘That’s what this is, right?’ She hated the look of hurt on his face. This would be so much easier if she was the only one getting hurt here. ‘We agreed.’ She leaned forward, kissing his neck. His hands grabbed her ass and tugged her closer. He was already hard against her.

‘I know,’ he groaned a little as she sucked on his neck, letting her tongue run against the roughness of his stubble. ‘Sometimes … it feels like … more than that.’

‘It isn’t more than that. It can’t be.’ She ran her hands through his hair, giving a little tug. ‘Now let’s see that sexual prowess you were just bragging about.’

He hesitated for a breath like he might argue further but instead he slapped her ass and growled at her to strip, which she happily did, as quickly as her layers would allow. This was good, this was better. Just sex. A holiday fling. Something they would sweep away after Christmas along with the fallen pine needles littering her floor.

‘Come here,’ he demanded. He was still sitting on the couch and he’d shed his own layers so he was sprawled naked on the cushions. ‘I think I need some of that glow.’ His smirk was wicked, and Kira loved it when he was like this, when he shed his niceness and let his true desires show through.

‘Get on your knees for me, Peaches.’

A tiny part of her bucked at the command, but the rest of her reveled in it. She liked when he took charge here, during sex. It felt good to give in. To give to him instead of take.

But she also liked to torture him a little bit, so she stood in front of him a breath longer, letting him look his fill. And she did the same.

It would take decades or a head injury for her to forget the way he looked in the honey-gold light of the fire, spread out on her couch, long limbs, broad chest. His cock hard and heavy, his dark hair already mussed from her fingers, his storm-gray gaze locked on hers.

Merry Christmas to her.

‘Kira.’ Her name was a warning.

She grinned and dropped to her knees.

Bennett groaned and the sound had her pressing her thighs together, needing the pressure, already feeling like she would burst if he didn’t touch her.

He wrapped his hands in her hair and tipped her head back so her gaze locked with his. She licked her lips and his eyes darkened.

He tugged on her hair and her lips parted on a whimper. He ran his thumb reverently across them.

‘Perfect,’ he rasped.

She sucked his thumb into her mouth, sinking her teeth into the soft pad of his thumb, needing a physical release for the emotions his words and his gaze sent tumbling through her. She didn’t want to feel feelings right now. She just wanted to feel good.

With a twirl of her tongue she released his finger. She wrapped her hand around his erection and relished his sharp intake of breath when she gave his cock a few rough strokes. He still held her gaze and there was too much in that look, too much for her to handle, so she leaned forward and took him in her mouth with one, slick slide.

His groan joined the crackling of the fire as the only noise in the room.

His hand was still fisted in her hair and little sparks of pleasure and pain radiated from her scalp when he tugged on it, guiding her head, his hips thrusting mindlessly, his cock sliding between her lips.

And then Bennett, Mr. Fix-It, the too nice, too wholesome man she’d initially rejected, let the filthiest words flow from his perfect mouth.

‘Fuck, Kira. You take my cock so good. You’re so beautiful on your knees for me.’ Another tug on her hair and she whimpered around him. He groaned. ‘Such a good girl. Swallow me. Take it all.’

The words washed over her, the heat of them searing her, the ache between her legs growing. She took him and she gave him all of her in this moment, because it was the only way she could. The only way that made sense.

Another tug of her hair and she was off her knees and Bennett was pulling her to him and she was straddling him again. He kissed her swollen lips, praising her and whispering things he shouldn’t say, things he shouldn’t think.

Things about how perfect she was. How beautiful. How right she was for him.

Things about the future.

Things about staying.

She guided his erection into her, taking all of him in a fast, hard tilt of her hips and his forehead dropped to hers. His words stopped. His storm-cloud eyes met hers and he knew, he knew not to say those things anymore.

She rocked her hips, seeking pleasure, seeking release, seeking a distraction. It didn’t take long to find it. It built with every thrust, every rock of her hips, Bennett’s fingers digging into her hips, the flesh on her ass. And when she was so close, he thrust up into her, hard, and Kira broke, sobbing in his arms, thinking things she shouldn’t think either.

Things about how perfect he was. How beautiful. How right he was for her.

Things about the future.

But because she was trying to be a better person, she didn’t say them out loud.