Josh

JOSH

Later that evening, I follow Gabriel into a movie theater in town. We’re greeted at the door by a man wearing a reindeer antler headband and a sparkly red nose. We all stomp the snow off our boots and file in, Ari with her husband Devon and their kids in the front, followed by Jax and Erin. Gabriel, Leo, and I round out this invasion of Garcías.

We all gather at the counter, where Ash is selling snacks dressed as an elf, complete with a hat, leggings with green, red, and white stripes on them, and a pair of shoes with upturned toes that have bells on them.

Ash turns around when he hears the commotion and blanches.

“Oh, no,” he says with a horrified expression.

Jax lifts his phone. “Smile,” he says with a wide smirk, then takes a photo.

“Who told you?” Ash demands. The bell at the tip of his hat tinkles.

“Mom,” Leo says.

“Betrayed by my own mother.” Ash shakes his head sadly. “So this is my villain origin story. Good to know.”

“It’s nice to see you didn’t get too adventurous and chose good ol’ mommy issues,” Jax says.

“Some say it’s a bit overdone by now,” Leo adds.

“But I say it’s a classic for a reason,” Ari finishes.

All of us snicker while Ash glares.

“I will murder you all in your sleep,” Ash says. “Mark my words, I will have my revenge!”

“Now, now. I don’t think Santa approves of this kind of attitude,” Erin says.

“Why so hostile?” Ari asks. “You look so sweet in your little elf costume.”

“Please go away.” Ash takes nervous glances around himself as if worried somebody might overhear this exchange and recognize him.

“Wear it with pride,” Leo says.

“Guys. Stop torturing him,” Erin says, then turns to look at Ash. “You have a job. Be proud of it. Oh! You know what helps improve confidence?” She reaches over the counter and pats Ash on the shoulder. “Believe in your elf.”

Ash groans out loud. “Not you too.”

“In all seriousness, I’m so glad you got yourself a job,” Ari says. “You’ll be welfy in no time at all.”

“An elf-made man,” Leo says.

“Does the theater employ you or are you elf employed?” Jax asks seriously.

I should probably keep a low profile.

Then again…

“Guys, come on,” I say. “Stop teasing him. You’ll ruin his elf esteem.”

“Wait! If you’re here, who’s helping Santa make gifts?” Devon pipes up.

“Does he know you’re here?” Gabriel asks. “Or are you a rebel without a Claus?”

I snort out a laugh and grin at Gabriel.

Ash crosses his arms over his chest. “Do you want to order anything or not?”

“We need to approach with caution,” Leo says, glancing at us, “otherwise he’ll lose his elf-control.”

“Yeah. Pull your-elves together, people,” I say.

“We’ll take popcorn,” Gabriel says. Ash looks relieved and is just about to turn around when Gabriel’s lips pull into an evil grin, and he adds, “Did you make it your-elf?”

Another roar of laughter follows. My stomach muscles are starting to hurt from laughing.

We do order after that. All the snacks are Christmas-themed, and we grab a lot of them. Grinch popcorn, which is regular popcorn, but green. There are snowflake-shaped Christmas cookies, Christmas pretzels, Christmas pastry bites, and Christmas candy.

We load up and grab large cups of Christmas punch.

Ash looks relieved when we gather everything up from the counter and start to leave.

We’re almost ready to head inside when Gabriel turns around and aims one last grin Ash’s way. “Have your-elf a merry little Christmas,” he calls out.

Ash rolls his eyes, but his lips are twitching. “Get the elf out of here.”

We’re all still laughing even when we’ve settled in our seats.

I look around the theater. It’s almost full. So many people, so many families, sitting together, laughing and chatting.

And the thing is, I usually go to the movies during the holidays too, only I always do it by myself. So there’s families and groups of friends sitting together and laughing and enjoying themselves… but I’m always the observer.

Tonight, I’m surrounded by people, included in conversation and laughter. And I know it’s not real. It’s not my family. It’s Gabriel’s. I realize that. And yet, I still feel included. I feel like I’m part of something.

I usually don’t.

This is not some woe-is-me story. I have plenty of friends, and I’m in no way a lonely person. I’m just not really close with my family, so I’m not used to having the kind of relationship and long history Gabriel has with his siblings and parents. Most of my friends are from college, and while we’re absolutely close, I’ve known most of them only for a few years. Our inside jokes are newer. Our teasing is more careful.

“You’re quiet.” Gabriel’s voice cuts into my thoughts from next to me.

I dart a glance at him before I gather myself and gesture to the screen, where they’re showing the trailers.

“We’re at a movie theater. I’m pretty sure they provide the entertainment themselves here, so I don’t have to do anything extra. Or did you want me to put on a song and dance number while we wait?”

“Yes. Didn’t I tell you? I do it every year. Perform a medley of Christmas songs. So be prepared. People are waiting for it. They have expectations.”

“You don’t sing,” I say.

“Don’t I?”

“I’ve never seen you sing in my life.”

“You’ve never seen me jerk off either. Doesn’t mean I don’t do it.”

There’s this strange moment where my heart skips a beat and then starts to thump very fast and very loud, and my throat feels like I’ve just guzzled a hot drink.

I look away from him and stare at the screen intently.

That was weird.

Also unwelcome.

Luckily, that’s when they dim the lights.

I keep staring at the screen.

With no idea what’s going on in the movie.

I sigh and slump against the door of Gabriel’s bedroom after we’ve gotten back home from dinner. It ran long, with Gabriel’s parents joining us after we filed out of the movie theater and Ash making his way into the restaurant an hour later after his shift ended. They had to push three tables together to seat us all.

It was an incredibly loud and cheerful affair, but I suspect it would’ve felt strange anyway. This is not the kind of family dinner I’m used to. Too fun and lighthearted, and absolutely nobody gave me the third degree about my vision for my career or my prospects in the legal system.

It’s a good thing nobody did either. I wouldn’t have come off as very bright, seeing that I was distracted as fuck the whole evening.

By Gabriel.

Specifically, by thoughts of Gabriel jerking off.

That thing earlier? That was weird. Really, really weird. I mean, Gabriel’s comment was unexpected anyway, but my reaction to it was what really sealed the deal on the weird.

There I was, in a dark movie theater, technically watching a movie, but in reality, I was trying not to think about Gabriel pleasuring himself.

And failing.

Failing so fucking hard.

There he was, in my head, in every imaginable position, always with his dick in his hand.

He went to take a shower, so now I’m in our room, trying to get my head straight. Only that’s not going too well either, seeing that he’s currently naked just across the hall from me. Does it matter that he’s technically not himself right now. That he’s in my body, so in some weird way, I’m probably thinking about myself jerking off and getting all sorts of strange feelings about it?

No. Because I don’t see him right now, so in my head, he’s Gabriel in his own body. In my mind’s eye, it’s all Gabriel. Gabriel naked, in the shower, water running over his rock-hard muscles?—

I thump the back of my head against the door hard. Leave it to me to make an already impossible, crazy situation even crazier.

Somewhere in the house, a door opens. My eyes widen, and I dive for the bed. No way I can face Gabriel right now. Not a chance. By the time he opens the bedroom door, I’m hidden under the covers, still fully clothed, pretending to be asleep.

I don’t know if I’m pulling it off or not, but Gabriel moves around quietly while I stare at the darkened window and lecture myself to keep my breathing even.

Footsteps move over the floor and covers rustle. The mattress dips. I very carefully scoot toward the edge of the bed, just to make sure there’s no way he’ll accidentally touch me.

Quiet falls over the room.

I wait.

I’ll go get changed once he falls asleep.

Minutes tick by. No idea how many.

Gabriel is so still and quiet, he must be asleep by now, right?

“?” Gabriel’s whisper is so unexpected that my whole body jerks.

Fucking damnit.

I don’t think I can pretend I’m asleep after this.

Doesn’t mean I won’t try.

“I know you’re up,” he says dryly.

Great.

“Well, I am now.” I execute a very loud yawn to prove that I’m not a dirty, dirty liar.

He’s quiet for a little while. Maybe he fell asleep, and I’m off the hook?

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Shouldn’t I be?”

“You were unexpectedly subdued the whole evening.”

I turn onto my back and glance toward him in the dark. Not that I can see much of him. Just the outline in the faint glow of the Christmas lights outside.

“Is that a bad thing? I didn’t think you wanted me to be… not subdued? Isn’t it better when I’m sort of muted, so I won’t say anything that’d make people realize something is up?”

“Subdued maybe wasn’t the right word. You were distracted.”

Oh, I was distracted, all right. I can’t tell Gabriel that, though.

Well yeah, Gabe, you’re right. I was totally distracted because I was busy thinking about your dick.

“You know, it’s a weird situation,” I say. “It’s all a bit overwhelming because there are so many of you. And I… I guess I don’t want to screw it up.” That much, at least, is true, I realize. I don’t want to screw this up.

He’s quiet for a bit, mulling it over.

“Makes sense,” he eventually says. “It’s a bit like meeting the family, but with an insane twist, isn’t it?”

“I mean… I guess? I wouldn’t really know.”

“You’ve never met a boyfriend’s family before?”

“Not like this.”

“Is there some special way to meet the family of the person you’re dating that I don’t know about?”

“Well, none of my other boyfriends have switched bodies with me for a start, so there are some key differences here.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll give you that.”

We both fall silent for a little bit.

“How many have there been?” Gabriel asks.

“How many what have there been?”

“Boyfriends. How many have there been?”

“Uh…” I say intelligently, somehow startled by the question.

“So many you don’t remember them all?”

I roll my eyes in the darkness.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

He hums thoughtfully. “I remember that douchey idiot you were seeing in senior year of high school.”

It takes me a moment to figure out who that douchey idiot might have been. “Royce. He wasn’t actually that bad when we weren’t around other people.”

Gabriel makes some kind of choking sound. “I really don’t need to know how well Royce fucked.”

“Prude.” I roll my eyes, even if he can’t see it in the dark. “I wasn’t talking about sex, which, by the way, we were in high school, so it really wasn’t anything to write home about.”

“Oh, good. We’re still talking about this.”

“You asked .”

“And now I regret .”

I snort out a laugh. Man, I haven’t thought of Royce in a while. And I remain firm in my stance that he wasn’t that bad.

I can feel Gabriel eyeing me from the other side of the bed.

“I hated that guy,” Gabriel says after a minute of silence.

I turn on my side too.

“Royce? Why? He was mostly harmless.”

“He was an idiot. I never understood what you saw in him.”

That stumps me for a moment. Not the fact that Gabriel disliked Royce so much. It’s more that I’m surprised he thought of Royce’s and my relationship at all. Why would he care? He didn’t seem to like me that much either, so at the most I figured it’d be something like, ‘Those two deserve each other.’ Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

“Our families moved in the same circles, so we attended the same events. It kind of went from there. He was fine.”

“He was a smarmy dick.”

“Let the record show that once again, it’s you who’s bringing up Royce and dicks in the same sentence.”

“Somebody has to say it how it is. You were obviously too infatuated to see the big picture.”

“Maybe. I have a soft spot for him because we fumbled our way through sex together. There’s something about those firsts that sticks with you.”

Gabriel tenses. Tenses so hard I can feel it, even if I’m all the way across the bed from him. He mumbles something I don’t understand, but judging by his tone, I’m gonna guess it’s not something that praises Royce’s character.

I start to laugh. “What the fuck did poor Royce ever do to you?”

He seems to be lost for words for a moment before finally landing on “It was his vibe.”

“His vibe?”

“Yes. His vibe. His rich asshole vibe.”

“According to you we all had it, so that doesn’t say much.”

“You didn’t.”

I blink at the dark ceiling. I did not expect that.

“Umm… since when? Your whole gripe with me is that I’m one of those numerous born-with-daddy’s-black-Amex-stuck-up-my-ass types.”

“I never said that.”

I let out an incredulous laugh. “Yeah, okay.”

“I didn’t and you weren’t. Royce was. You never were.”

“You told me less than twenty-four hours ago that I don’t understand how many opportunities are just handed to me because of the family I was born into.”

“And I stand my ground on that. I don’t think you understand. Or at least you don’t understand how much those opportunities diminish when your surname is García and your skin is just a touch too brown to pass for a tan.”

I throw up my arms. “Then what’s the difference between what you just said and what you said last night?”

“A whole fucking lot,” he says. “Yeah, you don’t understand. But you… you also never seemed to take those opportunities for granted like most of the other people in our class.”

“I don’t see what difference that makes to you.”

“It’s nuance. Different shades of the same outcome,” he says primly.

“Yeah, okay,” I say sarcastically. “If you say so.”

He flops onto his back again, and now we’re both staring at the ceiling in the darkness of the bedroom.

“He made you less… bright.”

My eyebrows fly up. “Royce made me dumber? Oh, well, thanks for that. What a nice thing to say.”

He blows out an exasperated breath like it’s my problem that I took offense at him calling me stupid. “Not dumber. Less… alive. And less vivid. Just kind of muted. Okay?”

I think he’s done, but then he goes on.

“You’re spontaneous and a bit chaotic and loud and intense. Royce was just fucking dull. The guy was nineteen and had all his life already planned out.”

“Oh, please. Try and tell me you don’t.”

“I’m not trying to fit other people into the narrow parameters of that plan. I know what I want to do with my life. Royce lived for the fucking plan without ever thinking it’d be necessary to adjust anything. Dude was probably designing campaign posters and thinking up slogans for that twenty forty-four presidential run he was planning. Everything was a strategic decision. How will that reflect on me in the future? So it never seemed like he actually appreciated you for who you are. More like you fit the mold. Like you ticked the boxes he needed you to tick, and then he’d just shape you to fit where you didn’t fit.”

My mouth has dropped open by the time he’s done. I’d argue, but it’s kind of difficult to do that when I broke up with Royce for… pretty much what he said. Royce had that vague air of you’re-not-good-enough about him, and I already got plenty of that at home, so I didn’t really want to justify that B in my history test or go around in circles about why I wanted to take a year off between high school and college with yet another person.

“I’ve dated worse people,” I say dismissively.

“Hard to imagine that.”

“There was Easton. He cheated on me, so subjectively, I think that’s worse.”

“Okay. I’ll give you that.”

“And after Easton there was Benjamin. He wanted to get a job with my grandfather and figured dating me would give him an edge over the others.”

“Seriously?” Gabriel asks.

“Yeah. I didn’t take it that well.” That one still stings a bit, but I force my tone to remain light. “He got the job though, so it paid off.”

Gabriel’s head snaps back toward me. “You didn’t tell your grandfather about it?”

“I did. He just had a really great résumé, it seems, so you know, joke’s on him. He wasted his time on me for no reason at all.”

I almost expect pity, and I have just enough time for seeds of resentment for that pity to take hold. But then…

“You have terrible taste in men,” Gabriel says.

I bark out a laugh. “The worst. I mean, I’m dating you now, so I’m pretty much just waiting with bated breath to see what surprises you have in store for me.”

“Body switching wasn’t enough?” There’s humor in his voice now.

“Is this you taking the blame?”

“I’m willing to share.”

I gasp. “That’s a historic moment. Gabriel García admits that he’s partially to blame for something.”

In response, he smacks my chest.

“Have there been any good ones?” he asks after a bit.

“Alan,” I say wistfully.

“You dated a forty-year-old accountant?”

“He was six. We went to first grade together. He had a sticker album with animals in it, and he let me fill in the page with hyenas.”

“With that kind of foundation, I’m surprised it didn’t last.”

I grin at him in the dark. “He moved away at the end of the school year, so it might just be one of those epic romances where we find each other again after twenty years. Our anniversary is coming up soon, so keep your fingers crossed for me.”

“Alan,” he scoffs.

I press my lips together, biting back a smile that has no reason to be there.

“His last name was Dicks,” I say.

He’s silent for a moment. “So if you two were to tie the knot, you could technically become ua Dicks?”

“No could about it. I’d take that name and wear it with pride.”

“Here’s to dicks, I guess,” he says. I start to laugh, and then I can’t seem to stop. Then Gabriel’s laughing too, and any time one of us starts to sober, the other one snorts, so we just keep laughing well into the night.