12. Josie

12

josie

“ T his is my favorite Christmas song! Even more than Rudolph the Reindeer! Definitely more than Frosty the Snowman! I love reindeer,” Lucy says as she bounces around the living room, the jingle bells on her reindeer slippers ringing every time her foot hits the floor. Her cheeks are rosy pink from the warm glow of the fire and the fact that she hasn’t taken a breath in at least an hour.

She’s slightly cracked out on the amount of sugar in the three cups of her dad’s hot cocoa she’s had tonight.

It’s been the most entertaining night watching Wyatt attempt to wrangle her in.

Unsuccessfully, of course.

Christmas is right around the corner, and she’s got an endless tap of energy and excitement. Not just for the holiday but also because in a couple of days, they’re going to announce the winning team of the Christmas List.

She and Wyatt turned our completed list in earlier today at Town Hall, and he said that she was so excited she was trembling when she handed in the paper. I love being able to experience her excitement outside of the classroom.

I love that I get to be a part of Lucy’s life, in whatever capacity.

When he asked me over for dinner this evening, I was a little worried because we haven’t really talked about how what’s going on between us is going to affect Lucy. Or how we should act in front of her now that something more is happening between us. But I’m just trying to go with the flow and let Wyatt take the lead. He knows what’s best for his daughter, and I trust that he’ll make the right decisions when it comes to how to handle this with her.

“You know what I’m the most excited about, Miss Josie?” Lucy asks, flopping down on the floor in front of me and placing her chin in her hands.

“What?”

“Presents.” Her bright green eyes flare with excitement. “I know that Christmas is about giving, not receiving, but it sure is fun to get presents. All of those are mine.” She points to the pile of pink-wrapped presents under the tree.

My heart stutters when I think about Wyatt wrapping Barbie dolls and teacup sets in pink wrapping paper for his little girl.

Even if there are some uneven corners and I think maybe a small piece missing on the side of one gift, it’s still the most adorable thing ever.

“Presents are very exciting. But it’s good that you know that Christmas is about giving too. There’s room for both.” I grin, giving her a wink. I bring the glass of eggnog to my lips and take a small sip. I’ve been nursing the same glass since I got here, too distracted by Lucy to focus on much else. “Did you make your list for Santa already?”

She nods enthusiastically. “Yep. And I even made an extra copy. Grams dropped it in the mail for me!”

God, she’s so adorable. One list to Santa isn’t enough; there, of course, had to be two.

“One for backup, right?” I tease.

Lucy pops up from the floor, the bells of her slippers jingling loudly. “Yes. Daddy says you can never be too careful with the mail. That’s why he made sure to bring our most important things, like the special ornaments, with us on the plane when we moved. So they wouldn’t get lost.” She points to their Christmas tree, and I can’t help the smile that curves my lips.

I’m pretty sure if she had it her way, the tree would be pink. But Wyatt made true on his promise and gave her a tree of her own in her bedroom.

My gaze moves to the tree, admiring all of the little touches it’s apparent that she’s added. A princess ornament, a butterfly—pink, of course, which I’ve now learned is her favorite color, even over purple—and a mermaid that glitters every time the light hits it.

There’s even a sparkling star fitted on the top that I just know was a Lucy pick and not her dad’s.

My perusal stopssuddenly when my eyes catch on a familiar ornament tucked into the front branches, partially hidden from view, and my heart nearly stops in my chest.

Rising from the couch, I set the glass of eggnog on the side table and walk to the tree to peer closer, convinced that my eyes have to be playing tricks on me. Maybe I had more of the eggnog than I realized. Mrs. Scott’s famous eggnog is known for being potent.

But… no. It’s not the eggnog.

My hand is trembling as I lift it to the ornament, running my fingers over the smooth glass, a pang of nostalgia shooting to my heart.

Oh my God…

“What’s wrong, Miss Josie?” Lucy asks.

When I glance down, the space between her brows is furrowed as she peers up at me. With my free hand, I swipe a tear that’s fallen away.

“Oh, nothing, sweetheart. Do you know anything about this ornament? Is it… one of your daddy’s special ones?”

Lucy nods. “Yes. We have had that one a looooong time. It might be older than my papa. And he’s like a… dinosaur !”

Her giggle is soft and sweet. “This is the only one I can’t put on the tree because it’s special to Daddy, and sometimes I accidentally drop things. I get to put the rest though!”

I know that she truly has no idea how special this ornament is.

Wyatt kept it.

All these years… he kept it. He could’ve thrown it away. I honestly thought he had. Why would he keep it when he made the decision to end things between us and leave me behind?

He kept the silly, inconsequential ornament that we made together, one for each of our trees, when we were teenagers during our first and only Christmas as a couple. Except it isn’t at all inconsequential to me.

It means everything.

It means that even though he left, he couldn’t let it go. He didn’t let the memory of us go.

And I know because I still have the exact same ornament on my tree… because I couldn’t let him go either.

My mind is spiraling in a hundred different directions at once.

“Alright, dessert is served, my ladies!” Wyatt calls from the dining room, causing me to drop my hold on the ornament. “Although, I am not sure you need any more sugar tonight, Lucy bug. You might not sleep till the New Year.”

I hear Lucy giggle, and I imagine it’s followed by an eye roll as she says, “Impossible, Daddy. Humans need at least eight hours of sleep a night. Miss Josie told me in class!”

I quickly swipe away another escaped tear and plaster on a bright smile as I make my way into the dining room. But I can’t stop thinking about the ornament or the fact that he kept it.

“You think I’ll ever get her to calm down tonight?” Wyatt whispers near my ear as I join him at the table.

I shake my head. “Probably not. But she’s having fun, that’s all that matters.”

He chuckles. “You’re right. But… I’m the one who’s gotta handle bedtime.” He pauses momentarily, his eyes searching mine as he reaches for my hand and sweeps his thumb lightly along my knuckles.“You’re awfully quiet tonight, honey. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” I smile. “I just can’t believe that Christmas is almost here. It always passes so quickly. It feels like I have so many things to do.”

I can’t tell him what’s truly on my mind right now because I’m still trying to… make sense of it.

I think I’ve just been so afraid of what happened in the past that I’ve been stuck there.

I keep thinking about everything that’s happened between Wyatt and me all those years ago instead of letting myself truly see what’s happening between us right now. I’ve been so scared about the possibility of getting hurt again that I haven’t stopped to consider that neither of us are the same people that we were all those years ago.

Back then, we were… kids.

And we’re not those same young, na?ve kids anymore. Eight years have gone by, and I’ve been so stuck in the past that I haven’t allowed myself the chance to look forward. To embrace all that we could be instead of being so fixated on what we were.

The realization is jolting… but also oddly freeing. Pulling myself out of my head, I settle myself into the dining table next to Wyatt, giving him a small smile.

Once Lucy’s finished her dessert, a molten lava cake that she begged her dad to make for her, we move back to the couch, and she settles in between me and Wyatt.

His arm slips around her shoulder, and she sighs happily as she cuddles against his side and tangles her small fingers in his.

“Alright, bug, ready for your story?” Wyatt asks.

She nods. “Yes, please. Can we read the how to catch Rudolph one? I’m taking notes.” Giggling, she taps her temple.

I can’t even help but smile at how ridiculously adorable she is. I joked at first that she clearly had Wyatt wrapped around her finger, but now I think I’m wrapped around it too.

In the few weeks that I’ve known her, I’ve fallen hopelessly for this sweet, darling little girl.

And… now I’m not too scared to admit to myself that I’ve fallen for her father too.

I care about them so much that it outweighs the fear and uncertainty about the future. If I let those insecurities win? Then I wouldn’t have Lucy or Wyatt in my life, and the thought of that makes my heart ache in the worst way.

In a way that I know will hurt infinitely more than if I took the chance and it somehow didn’t work out between us.

Lucy and Wyatt… they’re worth the risk.

Wyatt chuckles, searching through the stack of books she brought from her room until he finds the one she asked for. Lucy is all about her options, so of course, there are at least five here to choose from.

He opens it to the first page and starts reading, but he doesn’t get very far because she wants to point out all of the things we were learning in class the last couple of weeks before Christmas break. She points to the author’s and illustrator’s names, then to the picture, and tells him that it’s an illustration that can help explain the story, and then she excitedly swipes the book from his hand and closes it, pointing out the spine.

My chest swells with pride and emotion. She’s so smart, and curious, and joyful.

I watch the two of them together as he begins to read again, and she finally quiets long enough to immerse herself in the story. When her eyes slowly start to droop, Wyatt grins down at her, his face a mask of total adoration for his strawberry blonde beauty. The battle with sleep finally becoming a victor, her eyes flutter closed.

Wyatt peers down at her, swiping away a lock of hair from her face, and continues to read, only in a quieter voice. Because even though she’s asleep now, he promised he would read the entire book, and he doesn’t want to break a promise to his daughter. The moment is so simple and innocent, but it’s a testament to what an incredible father he is. What an amazing man he is. She would never know the difference, but it matters to him.

My heart squeezes tightly in my chest as emotion claws its way up my throat, and I realize that I am deeply and hopelessly in love with Wyatt Owens. Every version of him.

I never stopped loving him, and now I love Lucy just as much.

And I might not know what the future holds, unable to predict if I’ll end up hurt in the end… again. But what I do know is that Wyatt will hold my heart with care, respect, and pride the same way he holds his daughter’s.

And that’s enough for me.

They’re enough for me.