22. Deimos

Chapter 22

Deimos

If it weren’t for Loki, I could’ve let myself love Cameron.

I let that thought take control of my body as I stormed toward city hall, forcing myself to forget that I was walking away from the one person who’d made me feel… whole. Maybe even more whole than Gorgias ever did…

It should’ve taken longer to erase those memories from Cameron’s mind, but in truth it was mere seconds. Seconds to take something so huge. He’d stood there afterward, dazed, as if I’d broken some integral part of him needed to function.

“Shh, you’re okay,” I’d said, my voice hitching. I reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, filling it with cash. “You’re going to get in a cab and go back to Phobos. Do you understand me?”

My beautiful boy had blinked up at me, those brown eyes unfocused, but when I’d pushed for an answer, he’d nodded all the same.

It would have to do, because I had somewhere I needed to be .

The entire walk to city hall, I carried the grief inside me, using it to ignite the anger I’d been searching for all day. While the heartache I’d felt at losing Gorgias was fading, what I felt over Cameron was fresh and violent. Would I always be destined to fear losing the ones I loved? This was Loki’s fault too, wasn’t it? If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be a broken, hollow man. I could’ve moved on, could’ve found the happiness, the family, that I craved so desperately.

I knew Loki was working late because I’d bribed one of the security guards to feed me intel. He had some after-hours meeting scheduled with Azazel and Anubis. I wasn’t sure I could handle all three of them, but I’d heard Loki liked to indulge in a little after-work quiet time. At this very moment, my archnemesis was probably upstairs in his cushy office, drinking some overpriced scotch with his feet up on his tacky oversized desk, while he laughed maniacally and planned how to ruin someone else’s life, steal someone else’s lover.

If I’d given Cameron a chance, would Loki have stolen him too?

There, that sparked the rage nicely. I was just a block away from city hall, and I let that vault of Cameron’s powers crack open. I hissed as it scalded my insides like boiling acid. I’d clearly taken more than I could handle, but he’d needed me to make him feel better. It wasn’t like the shifters’ power I’d taken, which had been volatile and uncontrollable. This felt almost like it was molding to my body like a second skin, perhaps because it had been freely given, but it still made me feel a bit like an overheated uranium core.

There was a slim chance I might go nuclear… but probably not.

My vision went a little warped, and my entire body itched and tingled, emitting a crackling golden glow. I ignored the pain, though, focusing on my goal. Kill Loki, avenge Gorgias. I had never been so close. With my eye on the prize, I stormed up the steps of city hall, the ground quaking beneath my feet .

I was just debating whether I should merely open the door or really make an entrance and blast a hole through the wall, when my focus was broken by faint music, coming from my pocket. It was my brother’s ringtone, “Asshole” by Denis Leary, and my first thought was that something had happened to Cameron. Just like that, my mission was abandoned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked tightly in way of greeting.

“Wrong? Gee, what could possibly be wrong?” he asked with a weird edge to his voice.

“Look, just tell me Cameron made it to you safely, would you? I’ve got shit to do.” Phobos and I had been dancing around the topic of Cameron since the moment I first laid eyes on him. It was obvious we both wanted him, but only one of us could win. Why couldn’t he just accept what I’d offered him and take care of him for me?

“Well, let’s see… I waited around home for a while, and when he didn’t show up—”

Despite the power burning its way through me, I felt a chill. “What?!” I snapped. “Then where the fuck is he?”

“If you’d give me a second and let me finish,” he drawled, taking his sweet-ass time. “As I was saying, when he didn’t show up, I decided to go looking for him. Do you have any idea how many humans are in this city? It’s ridiculous! Not like the old days, when I could’ve plucked him out from the handful of people living in a village. If I couldn’t fly, it would’ve taken foreeeeeever.”

He was talking so slowly, and it was driving me crazy! Didn’t he know I was barely holding on by a thread here? I paced back and forth in front of the doors to city hall, tiny fissures spiderwebbing the stone with each step. “Get on with it! ”

“Soooo, after going block by block, I finally found him in some shifter bar downtown. Kind of a cute place, actually, we should check it out later. Go for a drink together, just like old times.”

I stopped my pacing, suspicion grating at me. He was stalling. “Phobos, what are you…?”

That was all I had time to say before I heard a high-pitched whistling sound. I pulled the phone away from my ear, but I still heard it. I looked up, just as Phobos came dropping out of the sky like a ton of bricks. I tried to jump back in time, but he slammed down hard right where I’d been standing a second before, and the force of the blow sent me tumbling. I landed hard on my back, all the way at the bottom of the steps. I felt the sharp snap as several ribs broke, my breath knocked from my lungs in a whoosh.

Wheezing, I rolled over and pushed myself up, using a bit of the power to heal the breaks; I told myself I had plenty to spare. “I believe you’ve already used that little trick before. Don’t you have any new material?”

Phobos rose from the crater he’d punched into the stone, glaring. “Why don’t you come up here and see?”

“My pleasure,” I said, smiling malevolently. I took the entire flight of stairs in one bound, bringing us face to face.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t realize what you were up to?” he seethed. “We’re twins. I know you better than anyone ever will. And that’s why I know you don’t really want to do this.”

I barked out a harsh laugh, devoid of humor. “Oh, trust me. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, and this is finally my chance. No one can stand in my way—not even you, Brother.”

The time for talking was done. I swung my fist toward his face. The problem with facing off against my brother was that we’d sparred countless times. We’d been trained by the same man, our father, and nothing I could do would surprise him. He saw my punch coming and dodged it with ease. Damn, he was fast, maybe even faster than me—when I wasn’t supercharged, at least.

Without giving him a chance to recover, I swung again and again, and though he dodged them all, he was forced to retreat, trying to put some distance between us so he would have a chance to breathe. I kept advancing on him, and with each consecutive punch, his expression began to darken. Good, he was finally taking this seriously.

I swapped punches for blasts of fire, tossing the fireballs hand over fist, leaving scorch marks everywhere they landed, and I could smell the stench of burning polyester as one projectile came too close and the sleeve of his jacket began to melt. He cursed, trying to shrug off his jacket at the same time as dodging back and forth, but with his attention divided as it was, I managed to land a punch to his gut. Even though I was holding back, he doubled over, wheezing.

We’d been here before, but this time, Phobos stood against me alone without his sidekick. And this time, I still had plenty of energy at my disposal, but I could see my brother was tiring.

“Had enough?” I asked, sneering down at him.

He coughed, and blood speckled his lips. “Hardly.”

Phobos was mad now, and he flew at me, going on the offensive. I let him hit me, a fist clean across the jaw, but it might as well have been a slap with how little I felt it. I wasn’t myself anymore; the power had taken over my body entirely, insulating me, but also trapping me at the same time. I felt apart from this battle, and as blow after blow rained down, it did nothing but exhaust him. His knuckles split, blood dripping to the stone below, splattering like some grotesque version of a Jackson Pollock painting.

Panting, Phobos dropped his hands to his sides. “Why?” he asked when he saw I wasn’t even fighting back. “You took Cameron from me, made him yours, and then abandoned him. Why couldn’t you just be happy with him?”

I felt a ripple of doubt. Didn’t he know? “Because he could never be happy with me,” I admitted, my voice nearly a whisper. He was sunshine and light and optimism, and I was poison.

Phobos looked anguished as he stepped in, grabbing my lapels and giving me a little shake. “That’s not true, Deimos. You’re a good man, and you love him, I know you do. Why can’t you believe that’s enough?”

“Because it’s never been enough for our father,” I snapped, shrugging him loose, and he stepped back with a struck expression. “Because no matter what I do, everyone in my life will learn to fear me!” It wasn’t just a threat, but a promise. I let it off the leash, that awful power inside me, and the glow coming off me reflected off him, like standing next to the sun.

Phobos had one advantage that I would never be able to match—he could fly—but just as he knew all my moves, I also knew his. I was simply waiting for him to launch. When he pushed off and his feet left the ground, I snatched his ankle and yanked— hard . It was amazing how easy it was to overpower him. Cam’s power had magnified my strength a hundred-fold. This was more power than any god had a right to possess.

And the only thing it was good for was cutting down another god.

Phobos’s shocked yelp was cut off when I slammed him into the ground with the flick of a wrist, like snapping a whip. The smooth stone cracked under him, but I didn’t give him a chance to recover. I needed him to stay down. So I whipped him back the other way, slamming him into the side of city hall. The lamp overhead shattered, glass raining down on my brother’s prone form with a musical tinkle.

With one foot, I nudged him onto his back and stared down at his bloody face, bruises already blooming. “Now are you done?” I asked, crouching at his side.

“I can’t let you destroy yourself,” he whispered, blinking slowly. “You’re my brother, and I love you. You deserve to be happy.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Phobos. You’re the hero, and I’m the villain. You get the happily ever after, and all I get is the end.”

I tried to step past him, but he grabbed my ankle, stubborn to the very end. “Always the fucking boy scout.” Sighing, I reached down and grabbed him around the neck, hauling him up and off his feet.

“Don’t make me do this, Brother,” I snarled, feeling the bones of his neck crack beneath my fingers. Darkness sang in my veins, the bloodlust telling me how easy it would be to add a little more pressure, to snuff out his worthless life. Would that finally make my father proud? To show him just how heartless I could be? But I couldn’t do it. Not Phobos, not my twin, my other half. My better half. “Just stand aside and let me kill him!” Why did he show Loki of all people such loyalty?

From somewhere behind me I heard Cameron yell, “Deimos, stop!” He ran across the street, heedless of the threat. He no longer had his power to keep him safe—from me.

My gaze snapped toward him, panic rearing up inside me. He wasn’t supposed to be here! My power lashed out, as if reaching for him, recognizing their source, and the ground split with a quaking roar, a deep crevice tearing the ground in two. He jolted to a stop, his path blocked. “Go home, Cameron. You shouldn’t be here,” I shouted.

“No, this is exactly where I should be,” he said, eyes flashing in fury; good, he should be mad at me, I deserved it. It would make it easier to do what needed to be done. “You have to stop. Put Phobos down and come home with me. Please! ”

“Home…” That one word nearly destroyed me. He was my home, not some underground lair or a mansion on the lake. But he couldn’t know that… I lowered Phobos. “What are you—?”

“I remember,” he said, clasping his hands over his heart. “I remember everything . You and me… us? You can’t just erase what we have with a wave of your hand. What I feel is stronger than that!”

No . No one had ever been able to resist my compulsion! But was I really surprised? If anyone could break through it, it was Cameron. He was so fucking strong, even without his power.

It felt like a knife to my chest as my heart broke all over again. I’d already said my goodbyes, made peace with my mistakes, and I’d done what I could to protect him. Now I would have to break his heart right along with mine.

I released my brother, and he collapsed on the ground, barely moving. “There is no us, Cam. It doesn’t matter that you remember, it doesn’t make a difference. I was trying to make it easier on you, so this is regrettable, but you’ll just have to get over it.”

“Get over it?!” he spat indignantly, and he looked ready to stomp over here to kick my ass, but when he took a step forward, my panic drove the cleft to split wider, forcing him to stumble back. His eyes flashed dangerously. “Would you pull your head out of your ass? I am sorry that your lover left you, but you have to think about the future now, Deimos.”

I wanted to listen to him, I did, but my father’s words were somehow louder, ringing in my ears. You’re weak, worthless… there is no love in war… I turned my back on Cameron and set my course for revenge.

“Deimos!” he shouted behind me, desperation pitching his voice higher, frantic. “I’m pregnant! ”

I nearly missed a step as I halted. Pregnant? He couldn’t be. Me? A father? He had to be lying, trying to manipulate me into stopping. I turned to look at him over my shoulder. “You’re—”

My words cut off as I felt a deep vibration traveling up through my legs. In dawning horror, I watched as Cameron fell to his stomach as the earth caved inward. He scrambled for something to hold onto, skidding downward. For a single moment, he paused on the slope, and I choked on my hope. Then he looked right at me, his eyes conveying all the love he impossibly still felt for me, before the earth seemed to open up and swallow him whole.

“Cameron!” I shouted, reaching for him, but I was too far away. Phobos was closer, but as broken as he was, there was no chance.

And just like that, he was gone.

“No!” I ran toward the crevice, falling to my knees as I reached the edge. The ground wasn’t stable. I could feel the soil threatening to cave in further, and I didn’t want anything to fall on him—if he was still alive. “Cameron!” I shouted into the abyss. I strained my ears to listen for a reply, but there was nothing. Not a single rustle, no whimper or moan.

Phobos crawled over beside me, and together, we inched close enough to peer over the edge into blackness. “Where is he?” I asked, desperate. “Can you see him?”

“No…” He sounded strange, and when I looked over, I was shocked at just how bad he looked. His eyes were nearly swollen shut, his skin purple and blue wherever it wasn’t covered in blood. Had I really done that?

“Phobos, I—”

He shook his head. “Not now. There will be time for apologies later. Right now, we need to get Cameron out of there. ”

I could’ve climbed down, but the soil wouldn’t hold my weight. What we needed was Phobos’s flight, but he was simply too weak and broken. “What if… I healed you?” I asked, reaching for him.

“Don’t you need your precious power to beat Loki?” he snarked bitterly.

I didn’t hesitate to say, “Nothing is more important than Cameron.” It was the one thing we both agreed on.

Pushing Cameron’s power out from my body was an entirely different experience, like trying to mold clay after it had hardened. It wasn’t euphoric; it was agony. Instead of pleasure, it was searing, violent pain. I groaned, fighting against my instincts telling me to keep all this power for myself. My stomach threatened to spill its contents, but I kept at it, forcing my brother’s wounds to mend, his cuts to stitch shut. Before my very eyes, he was made whole.

No surprise, healing took more energy than destruction because it was precise instead of wild and chaotic. I took care with him, and when I was done, only a handful of minutes had passed, and my brother was looking much better. Except all the blood, of course, but we would deal with that later. Right now, we had more important matters to attend to.

“Okay, I’ll fly down and bring him back up. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful with him.” He looked almost sick, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, and for once, I didn’t feel the urge to mock him for his weakness. I felt it too.

I gripped his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I trust you, Brother.”

He nodded once. “I’ll bring him back to you.” What condition he would be in was another matter.

I stood back, well clear of the ravine’s edge, and watched as Phobos hovered a few feet above me then disappeared into the ground. I grew lightheaded the longer I was forced to wait and forced myself to breathe, my fists clenched tight at my sides. Too much time passed before I heard him call up. “I’ve got him!” He sounded deeper than I could’ve imagined, and a sob was wrenched from my chest.

Slowly, inch by inch, Phobos appeared, until I caught my first sight of Cameron cradled in his arms, and I swore my heart stopped beating. He was entirely limp, his head tipped back, arms and legs dangling uselessly. And when Phobos lowered him gently to the ground in front of me, my eyes went to his chest, all too aware that it was not rising with his breath.

“ No ,” I choked out, tears spilling down my cheeks.

Somewhere behind me a door opened, shoes clicking across the stone, but I didn’t bother to turn. I picked up Cameron’s hand, too cold, and convinced myself that I could still feel him inside. He had to be okay! I couldn’t lose him!

“What the hell have you done to my city hall?” a voice said, full of derision and disgust.

Loki. Because of course that fucker was here to rub salt in the wound.

Dredging up the last remnants of power, I set Cameron’s hand down and shot to my feet, rounding on Loki. “This is all your fault!” I seethed, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and dragging him up to his tiptoes. It gave me obscene pleasure to be a few inches taller than he was. “If you hadn’t stolen my lover, I never would’ve tried to get revenge, never would’ve met Cameron in the first place, and he would be alive right now!”

He scoffed, loosening himself from my grip and brushing the wrinkles from his silk shirt. “Sorry, who are you?”

“What the hell do you mean, who am I? I’m Deimos! You stole Gorgias from me! ”

He blinked those damn blue eyes at me, raising a blond eyebrow. “Should I know who that is?”

“My lover!” I could feel my pulse throbbing in my temples, and all I wanted was for Loki to go away. I wanted to grieve in private, not have him standing there giving his conceited narrative.

“I’ve stolen a lot of lovers. How can I be expected to remember all their names?”

The fight drained straight out of me. After all these years, planning for the day when I would finally stand here, face to face, to enact my revenge, and he didn’t even care enough to fight back! I’d been under the impression that it was personal, that he was my archnemesis, but he didn’t even know my name. Now here I was, about to shoot my shot, and I felt… nothing.

I blew out a long sigh, my shoulders sagging. “Look, can you just go away and let us mourn in peace?”

“Mourn? What’s the big deal? He’ll be fine, just give him a minute.”

I jerked my head back to look at Cameron, still as motionless as he’d been before. “What are you talking about? He’s dead!”

“Don’t be silly. It takes more than a tiny fall to kill an immortal.” He rolled his eyes.

Phobos made a choking sound behind me, and my breath caught. “What did you say?”

“What, you didn’t know? Amateurs.” He chuckled, glancing at his watch. “He’s your mate, so of course he’s immortal. You must’ve marked him at some point. Look, are we done here? I have somewhere else to be.”

“No, we’re not done!” I shouted, turning and dropping to Cameron’s side.

This time when I reached for his hand, I felt for a pulse at his wrist. A faint flutter. Terrified to hope, I put my fingers to his neck, and sure enough, there it was, a low, steady beat. And beneath my touch, I felt the outline of the bite mark I’d given him. A mating mark.

My mate…

Cameron took a wheezing breath, then his eyes flew open as he coughed violently. I helped him sit up and moved in behind him so he could lean back against me. “Cam, are you okay?”

“I-I guess?” He looked around at the three of us. “What happened?”

Phobos and I looked at each other, unsure how to explain. Loki sighed and said, “These idiots got into a fight and destroyed city hall, you kinda died, but you’re immortal now, so you’re fine.”

“Okay, well, that was really simplified, but… yeah,” I agreed reluctantly.

Cameron was quiet for a moment, but then he laughed. “Well, that makes perfect sense.” And he wasn’t even being sarcastic about it.

“How does any of the make sense?” I asked.

“My prophecy,” Cameron said, frowning, his gaze focused on some distant point in the past. “ Born in darkness, live in light, his full potential will be his plight. Through fleeting death and numbing pain, and one more the gods will gain…” He blinked and looked up at me, gripping my forearm as his face lit up. “The gods… I’d never been able to figure out what that part meant, but that was just because I hadn’t met you yet. The part about my full potential and my plight, that was my illness, and I just escaped death. And now I’ve been claimed by the gods! My prophecy never had anything to do with fighting Nefarious at all!”

His excitement dimmed, his smile shifting into something softer, filled with hope. “Does that mean I’ll have a longer future with you? That our child will too? ”

His question made my heart constrict. He wasn’t asking if he would live forever; instead, he only wanted more time with me, with our family…

I shrugged casually, even as my eyes burned with tears. “I don’t see why not.”

He reached up and cupped the back of my neck, pulling me down for a kiss. “I love you, Deimos.”

“I love you too,” I admitted at last, and as the last of my barrier fell, I finally felt that mating link snap into place, strumming like a plucked guitar string.

Loki clapped once, interrupting our moment of bliss. “Great, wonderful. Love, happiness, and all that bullshit. Now, would you all kindly get the fuck off my property?” He made a shooing motion with his hand, a sneer on his face. “And I expect you to pay for any damages.”

His indignant reply made my blood boil. This guy was so fucking annoying!

“Of course we will,” Phobos said, ever the hero, interrupting me before I could say something stupid, now that we’d all somehow managed to walk away from this alive. “Thank you for your patience.” Why didn’t he just go ahead and lick his boots, already.

Loki sniffed and turned to leave. “If you have any other complaints, bring it up with Apate. Deceptive little witch. She’s the one who’s been meddling with the na?ve humans and their so-called ‘Chosen Ones,’” he said, using air quotes.

“Wait, what?” Cameron called after him, but he was already walking away.

Apate, the goddess who had gifted me the ability to take powers, was also the one to give Cameron his? Huh. After everything we’d been through, it had never been fate dictating our actions and moving us across the board. It was simply a mischievous and very possibly evil goddess playing puppetmaster, but I couldn’t help feeling grateful for her pulling our strings. With Cameron in my arms and my future in his womb, how we got here didn’t seem to matter anymore.

I would have to send that woman a gift basket.