8. Deimos

Chapter 8

Deimos

“Sir? My lord, sir, the phone. It’s your sister.”

I startled from my daze where I’d been daydreaming about biting into a certain sidekick’s ass, which was unfortunately an easy thing to imagine after I’d stumbled onto a fan site while doing some stalking research, showing explicit photos and videos of the ass in question. I hated to speculate how they got their hands on the footage. Was Cameron an exhibitionist? I somehow didn’t think so.

I glanced over to where Zeek was extending a silver tray in my direction. On it sat my cell phone, which I must’ve left in the kitchen when I’d eaten breakfast. I’d been so distracted lately, it was embarrassing.

Instead of admitting to my scattered mind, I barked, “You answered my phone? Imbecile!”

Zeek bowed his head to his chest, the tray still extended where I could see the time on the call counting up. “My most humble apologies, sir. Would you like me to prostrate myself so you can whip me?”

My minion was so meek and docile, it seemed unsportsmanlike to strike him. “No! I… don’t want to pull a muscle.”

“Of course, sir. I will go whip myself then, with your permission, sir.” He seemed almost eager at the prospect, his black eyes glistening, thick lips widening in a grin. Lower-level demons were so weird.

I sighed. “Whatever floats your boat, Zeek.” He made a little rattling sound that I took for a catlike purr.

I snatched up my phone before he could scamper off and brought it to my ear. “Harmonia,” I said in greeting.

“My dearest brother, please tell me you don’t abuse your staff,” she said, her voice tinkling even as she scolded me.

“Of course not! And please don’t lie to me—I’m not your dearest brother, that would be Phobos.”

“Obviously, because he actually loves me. As opposed to you, who dodges my calls and pretends to be too busy to come to family dinners.”

I spun around in my chair and kicked my feet up on my desk. “Don’t be so dramatic. I’ve been wrapped up in my many business ventures. I’m very important; people rely on me.”

“Mm-hm.” She didn’t sound convinced, so I made a point of tapping away on my keyboard, even though the screen was dark.

“Is there something you want, Harmonia? I need to get this payroll finished so that my multitudes of staff can afford to eat.” Alright, so that was probably laying it on a bit thick, but she knew me well enough to know I wasn’t past just hanging up on her if the call dragged on too long. There was a good reason why Phobos was her favorite brother—I was an asshole.

“Oh, please.” She snorted into the phone, a very unladylike sound for the goddess of accord. “Do you think you can dig your head out of your ass for long enough to come celebrate Mom and Dad’s anniversary?”

“Again? They have one every year!” I griped.

“And you have had how many with your non-existent partner? None?” Her voice had lost its usual musicality, taking on a frustrated edge. “Look, it’s a big one. They’ve been together for 5000 years, and everyone is coming.”

That made me pause, my eyes straying to the wall that had become a monument to Cameron. “Who’s everyone, exactly?”

“Mom and Dad, of course, and I’m bringing Cadmus and the kids, and—”

“And Phobos?” I asked, cutting her off to get her back on track, leading her in the right direction. “Do you know if he’s bringing a date?”

“What? I don’t know, maybe. Why?” She was instantly suspicious of me.

“Oh, nothing. Just wondering if I’m allowed to bring a date too, that’s all.”

Harmonia made a little squeak. “You’re seeing someone?”

“I didn’t say that. I just was just asking bec—”

Now it was her turn to cut me off. “Because if you’re asking if you can invite that demon minion of yours, I’d really rather you not. Last time he spilled his soup in my lap then ate all the dessert.”

“You can’t blame a guy for having a sweet tooth,” I muttered, getting strangely defensive of my little toady.

“He licked the tray clean, Deimos, and made my kids cry.”

“Your kids are all grown up now, I’m sure they wouldn’t cry this time.” I heard her take a breath, ready to do battle. “Okay, okay,” I quickly conceded, sighing. “No Zeek, got it.” I hadn’t intended to invite him in the first place; I just wanted to know if Cameron was going to be there, but I couldn’t very well ask such a pointed question without my sister giving me the third degree.

“So? Will you come?” She sounded so damn hopeful, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she would even want me there. If there was one person on this earth that I would give in to, though, it was my sister. I could almost see her wide blue eyes, hands clasped to her chest as she waited with bated breath for my answer.

“I will… try.” It was the best I was going to promise.

She squealed in genuine excitement, as if it was a done deal. “I’ll see you Sunday! Six pm, don’t be late.”

I was already regretting it.

Now, I know I should’ve just texted my brother to see if he was coming to dinner, but I’d never done things the easy way. Besides, this was going to be way more fun.

The silence was broken only by soft sobbing and the click of my shoes as I paced back and forth along the length of the bank’s marble floor. Not a single siren was to be heard. What was taking them so long?

I rounded my circuit and came back to where the bank manager was cowering in front of the counter. “Are you sure you called the police?”

He nodded fervently. “Y-Yes, just as you asked.” His entire body was quivering, and he peeked up at me, confused. “D-Don’t you w-want me to bag up the m- money?”

I grunted, my earlier enthusiasm at this plan flagging. “I guess. Sure, you do that.” I didn’t really need the money, but I had to make it look good.

At last, I heard the telltale sound of a police siren in the distance. They really needed to work on their response time. If I’d been a determined criminal, I would’ve had the entire vault cleared out by now and been halfway to Cancun.

The police did their thing outside, lining up a barricade, putting sharpshooters on rooftops. Meanwhile, I waited. I found myself with the tip of my thumb between my teeth as I gnawed on the nail. I thought I’d broken the habit when I was a kid, but all it took was a cute ass to make me revert to my younger self.

At long last, the bank’s landline rang. “Finally,” I groaned, swooping down and snatching up the receiver. “You guys sure took your sweet time!” I barked into the phone.

The man on the other end began with his standard negotiation spiel, but I was way too bored to listen to that shit today. “Look, I have hostages. This is my request: I want the so-called superhero Phobos down here ASAP. Can you manage that? Good.” And I hung up before they’d even had a chance to answer. “There, that should get some action.”

It was another half hour of twiddling my thumbs before the glass skylight came smashing in, the hostages shrieking in renewed panic (after I’d finally managed to get them to stop their sniveling), and my brother came swooping down in his orange bodysuit and neon-blue tights, cape billowing. He landed in the middle of the bank with an almighty crash that echoed through the space, then struck a pose, fists on his hips. “Have no fear! It is I, Phobos, here to res—"

But then he saw it was me, and he dropped the smile, hands flopping to his sides. “Oh. It’s you. ”

“Is that any way to greet your favorite brother?” I asked cheekily, shooting him a wide grin as I hopped up to sit on the counter. I was trying really hard to ignore the moony expressions on the hostages’ faces, as if he was their savior, when in fact, they’d been in zero danger this entire time. They were just a means to an end.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re my only brother, and I’m still not sure you’re even in the top five. What the hell do you think you’re doing? Robbing a bank, seriously?!” Ooh, he was seething mad. I gave myself a mental pat on the back for getting him riled up. He was usually so damn calm, it was annoying as hell.

I simply couldn’t resist giving him one more poke. “When are you going to give up this whole superhero nonsense. Seriously, who wants to be saved by the god of panic and retreat? It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” I tried to remind my dear brother of this fact every time I saw him.

“Well, they don’t know I’m actually a god,” he grumbled, before realizing that there were two dozen people currently listening to him. “Oh, I… I’m just kidding.” He laughed awkwardly, trying to play it off as a joke, before leaning in and whispering, “Would you mind, y’know…?” He wiggled his fingers at his forehead.

“Yeah, I got your back, Bro. Piece of cake. I’ll wipe the entire experience from their minds on their way out the door.”

He blew out a breath of relief. “Great, thanks.”

We stood there awkwardly until the bank manager came up with a bag of cash. He looked back and forth between us. “Um… do I give this to him?” he asked Phobos. This was clearly unlike any robbery he’d ever heard of.

“Nah, I’m good,” I said, waving him off. “Thanks, though.”

“You’re… welcome?” Phobos and I stared at him until he backed away, presumably to put the money back .

“So, did you get what you wanted?” Phobos asked, hopping up onto the counter beside me.

I frowned, not picking up whatever thread of conversation he’d jumped into the middle of. “What are you talking about? I didn’t want the money.”

“No, not the money. The pictures. I saw Zeek hanging around my house with a camera and a giant zoom lens. Why are you being so nosy?”

I sighed, shaking my head. That idiot, I told him to be discreet. “Would you believe he’s taken up a study of architecture? Your mansion really is quite the marvel, what with the walls and the… windows…”

Phobos didn’t say anything, his lips tightening at the corners. Well, my brother might’ve been stubborn enough to keep at this until I broke, but lucky for me, I could change topics like a boss. “Um, I can’t help but notice you’re flying solo tonight. Where’s your sidekick?”

“Oh, he’s… got book club.” Phobos bit down on his lip, and his eyes skittered off to the left.

“Book club.” I arched an eyebrow. “You are a horrible liar,” I informed him, as if he didn’t know. “Where is he really?”

A deep pink hue began to creep up his neck, coloring his cheeks in an emotion I couldn’t identify. Was he embarrassed? “None of your business,” he muttered, hopping off the counter and stalking across the room under the pretense of checking on the hostages.

Curiosity sparked and crackled inside me. It was an itch I couldn’t scratch, a thirst I could never quite quench. My brother was hiding something from me, something that had to do with his sidekick, and I needed to know what it was .

While I was deep in thought, my thumbnail finding its way back between my teeth, Phobos turned and sighed. “So… are we gonna do this?” he asked.

“Huh?”

He waved a hand around the room. “You know, you try to rob a bank, and I stop you. I assumed you wanted to fight it out.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess.” I slid down and shook out my hands as I tried to dredge up a little power. There simply wasn’t much left in the tank. I needed that recharge, but since Cameron wasn’t here, I obviously wasn’t going to get it from him. I would need to siphon the latest batch of shifters, but the thought of it was just so exhausting right now. I lifted my fists. “Okay, I’m ready. Hit me with your best shot.”

Phobos didn’t even bother to take a fighting stance. He was watching me, a crease forming between his eyebrows, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. “Is it just me or is your heart not in it today?”

“I mean…” I dropped my fists, my shoulders sagging in premature defeat. “Nah, not really.”

He came over and gripped my shoulder in a gesture meant to be comforting. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’re just having an off day. The next robbery will be more exciting.”

I shook my head, sighing. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“No, I swear I’m not.” He dragged me in, and as I stood there in his embrace, my arms hanging listlessly at my sides, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged me. It was both foreign and terribly familiar at the same time.

Even as I ached for the contact, I found myself withdrawing, pressing a hand to his chest to worm my way free. “All right, that’s enough of that. ”

And even though I’d pushed him away, he was smiling. “Okay, then let’s wrap this up.”

I wiped the memories from the hostages before letting them go, and then my brother gave me a lift up to the roof. “You sure I can’t give you a ride home?”

“I would not be caught dead seen being carried by you. I would never live it down,” I sassed, only partly serious. But also, I knew this truce between us was temporary, and I thought it best he didn’t know where I lived.

Phobos paused before he could fly off, hovering a foot off the roof. “I talked to Harmonia. Will I see you at family dinner on Sunday?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I wanted to ask him if Cameron was coming or not, but I found that maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe I wanted to go either way. It had been too long.