12. It’s Not That Simple

CHAPTER 12

It's Not That Simple

B rynleigh stumbled back, her heart thundering in her chest. What the actual fuck was she doing?

Bringing Ryker on a kill with her was one thing, but almost kissing him? That was another matter entirely.

Isvana help her, but Brynleigh could not afford to lose her mind around Ryker. She had to keep her head on her shoulders.

The fae captain was making that maddeningly difficult.

One minute, he was staring at her like he didn't know her, and the next, his lips were hovering over hers.

The problem—and it was a problem—was that she wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to give her everything, even though their problems weren't solved. All it had taken was a few moments of attention, and her body was ready to forget every one of their issues.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Ryker pressed the phone against his ear, and a line creased his forehead. Brynleigh could sense his rising panic.

He asked, "What's the matter?"

A choked sob came through the phone, audible thanks to Brynleigh's vampiric hearing.

"You need to come home," River said. "Now. "

Ryker inhaled sharply. "Is it?—"

"Come home," River repeated. "Hurry."

Blood drained from the fae captain's face, and he assured his sister he would be there soon before hanging up. His face was far paler than it had been moments before.

The fear in his eyes made Brynleigh's stomach want to curl in on itself.

Ryker cleared his throat. "That was… My father…"

"I heard." Brynleigh shook her head. "You need to be with your family."

Her heart ached. She had no right to include herself in that group. Not after the lies she'd told and the game she'd played.

His distraction was evident on his face as he nodded and started moving towards the house.

"Yes, I have to…" Ryker halted, a groan escaping him that could have leveled cities. "Damn it. I can't leave you…"

Alone.

He didn't say the last word, but it echoed through the forest like he'd screamed it.

Because Brynleigh was untrustworthy.

Just like that, any warmth they'd cultivated earlier was gone.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Brynleigh shook her head and strode past Ryker up the steps.

"Don't worry, I'll come with you and won't cause any problems." Her voice was miraculously steady.

"You can't talk to my sister," Ryker said sharply.

Brynleigh turned and blinked.

"You and I are…" He gestured between them, as if that made any sense, and groaned again. "But River is young. I don't want you interacting with her." Because Brynleigh was dangerous. "Promise me that you'll stay away from her. I have to protect her."

Protect her.

His words echoed through Brynleigh's mind, and she flinched, unable to stop herself from reacting.

That was how he saw her—a threat.

Fucking ironic .

She wasn't the only dangerous one here.

Not only was Ryker a force to be reckoned with, but he conveniently seemed to be forgetting that his sister had killed Brynleigh's family.

Did he not realize that Brynleigh could've killed River the moment she learned the truth about Chavin? That she'd already been merciful and spared his sister even though she had admitted to murdering an entire village?

Brynleigh wished Ryker's words didn't hurt. She wished they could return to almost kissing. But she couldn't turn back the hands of time any more than she could heal their relationship.

"I understand." This time, her voice was ice. "After all, I'm just an asset, right?"

He sighed. "No, Brynleigh. It's not that simple."

Except it seemed it was. She was an asset, he didn't trust her, and they were both hurting.

Gods damn it, where was her box of emotions when she needed it?

Pulling on strength she didn't know she possessed, Brynleigh rebuilt those walls around her heart.

"Don't worry, I get it. I'll stay out of your way, and tomorrow night, I'll update Jelisette. While I'm there, I'll uphold my end of the deal and look for the information you need."

Keeping Ryker out was easier than letting him in to hurt her again. She'd rather throw away the warmth she'd been feeling earlier than admit that him choosing his family over her was painful.

Ryker's mouth pinched, and for a moment, it looked like he was going to argue, but he didn't. Instead, he unlocked the door.

Brynleigh inched past, careful not to touch him again.

"Pack a bag and get in the car," the captain instructed. "I don't know how long we'll be at Waterborn House."

Brynleigh didn't bother asking why they weren't shadowing. She was an asset, and assets didn't ask questions. They just did what they were told.

Nodding, she wordlessly made her way to the bedroom.

She did as he asked and packed her things, not that there were many to begin with. She washed up in the bathroom, making sure to rid herself of every spot of blood, and rebraided her hair before returning to the living room.

Ryker was waiting for her, a bag sitting at his feet as his thumbs flew over his phone. When he looked up, that haunted, worried look remained in his eyes.

"Let's go."

He grabbed their bags and left without another word.

Brynleigh trailed behind him. She was well aware that she'd betrayed Ryker. She knew she wasn't deserving of his trust, not after the way she'd lied to him since the beginning of their relationship.

But a disconnect existed between her head and her heart. Her mind knew there was a divide between them, but her heart…

That organ still beat for Ryker. Every pulse belonged to him, and it didn't understand that he wasn't hers anymore.

Rubbing the back of her hand, Brynleigh frowned. If she concentrated hard enough, she could still feel the ghost of the captain's hand on hers.

Cast in darkness, Ryker's childhood home was exactly as Brynleigh remembered it.

The drive had been silent, with Ryker deep in whatever pit of worry his sister's call had thrown him into and Brynleigh dealing with all the emotions that had been plaguing her ever since she found out Ryker was alive.

Wrought-iron gates guarded the winding driveway leading up to the mansion. Electric lanterns stood on both sides, illuminating the path. Two stone statues of dragons stood in front of the massive double doors at the front of the house. Curtains covered every window—there were over fifty that she could see. The lawn was immaculately manicured, the bushes trimmed to perfection, and the gardens didn't have a single flower out of place.

The Representative's mansion screamed of ostentatious wealth and privilege .

"We're here," Ryker announced, pulling the car to a stop in front of the home. "Someone will park for us. Come on."

The engine cut off and Ryker got out of the car. He was halfway up the steps by the time Brynleigh unbuckled and got out.

She wasn't insulted by the fact that he didn't open her door. After all, assets didn't require chivalry.

Brynleigh was reluctant to enter Waterborn House. Her last experience here had been less than delightful, and she was fairly certain Ryker's family hated her now. Whatever potential friendship had been blooming between her and River was long gone.

Fuck, even Ryker didn't want Brynleigh here. His rejection and the return of his anger were more painful than the torture she'd endured.

Death would've been easier than this.

Wordlessly, Brynleigh followed Ryker up the stairs and through the doors. She barely noticed the splendor of the foyer. This place was cold and lifeless, more of a museum than a home.

What had it been like growing up here?

They hurried up a grand staircase and down a long hall with closed doors lining both sides. Brynleigh remained two steps behind Ryker, hugging her arms around herself.

The Rosewood had been mere hours ago, but it felt like a week had passed.

Who knew broken hearts made telling time so difficult?

The steady beeping of machines and the scent of cleaning supplies grew stronger with every step. If the lower level of Ryker's family home reminded Brynleigh of a museum, this one reminded her of a hospital.

Death hid in the shadows. She could feel it watching. Waiting.

Life had not flourished in this place for some time.

She shivered and rubbed her arms.

"Thank the Blessed Black Sands, you're here." River jogged out of a room at the end of the hall.

The younger water fae looked like she'd been up for several days. Between her form-fitting black leggings, oversized gray sweater, and messy bun, she appeared far more frazzled than the rebellious fae Brynleigh had first met. Mascara streaked down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy, and she gnawed on her lip ring.

Ryker choked out his sister's name, and River broke into a run, jumping into his arms. He caught her, squeezing tightly.

Neither sibling looked back at Brynleigh as they embraced, and that was…

Fine.

Well. Not fine.

Not fine at all, actually.

A fresh wave of grief so powerful she could barely breathe slammed into Brynleigh. She stumbled back as though someone had shoved her. Her heart ached, and tears rushed to her eyes.

Brynleigh had underestimated how devastating it would be to see River again. She was just so similar to Sarai.

But River was here, and Brynleigh's sister was dead.

Because of River.

Brynleigh's chest burned as if someone had punched her in the heart.

The old grief of loss was still present, but a fresh ache burrowed its way into her heart.

She could've had this. A place in a new family. Hugs. Kisses. Love.

Maybe things would've been different if Brynleigh had stopped Zanri and explained everything. Maybe she wouldn't have ended up in the dungeon. Maybe Ryker could have forgiven her if she'd confessed everything sooner.

Maybe, maybe, maybe .

All the maybes were silver knives stabbing Brynleigh's heart.

Ryker still held River, who had buried her face in his shoulder. He murmured something too quiet even for Brynleigh to hear. This was a fucking private moment, and she was interrupting it.

This was wrong. She shouldn't be here. Shouldn't be witnessing this.

Not after everything.

Brynleigh staggered back, needing distance.

Alone. She was so gods-damned alone.

The pain of her loss had never been as poignant as it was right now. No matter how tightly she hugged herself, it wasn't enough. Her stomach cramped, and tears pricked behind her eyes .

She hadn't shed a single tear when she killed the Earth Elf, but now it felt like she was moments away from weeping.

Her gaze dropped to the floor. Baseboards had never been so intriguing.

After a few minutes, Ryker murmured, "What's wrong, River?"

The concern in his voice made Brynleigh feel even worse.

Ryker loved his sister so much. It was fucking selfish to even think about it, but Brynleigh wanted him to talk to her like that again. She wouldn't be nearly as lonely if she even had a fraction of the affection Ryker showed River.

The younger water fae hiccuped.

"Mom's still on her work trip in the Northern Region, so it's just me and the nurses watching Dad. I had an exam earlier, and I was up all night studying. When I came back… It's bad. He was lucid earlier, but now…"

"The Stillness is getting worse?" Ryker whispered.

Brynleigh looked up in time to see his hand curl into a fist.

"Yeah." River nodded.

"Fuck." Ryker exhaled and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "You did the right thing by calling me."

"I'm… I'm so worried about him," River admitted. "If he… If this… If it's…"

"Don't." Ryker's voice was firm, but tinges of grief edged his voice. "Don't say the words."

If there was ever a moment for the floor to open up and swallow Brynleigh whole, this was it. She wished she could call on her shadows and step into the Void, but the bracelet on her wrist meant Ryker would find her. Besides, making him chase her right now would be selfish. Finding reprieve from this situation wouldn't be worth it, not when it would tear him away from his family.

She didn't want to force Ryker to pick his asset over his dad and sister.

She didn't want to be here at all.

Brynleigh stumbled back another step and bumped into a vase. It rattled, and she grabbed it before it could hit the ground, but she wasn't fast enough .

The siblings turned to her.

"Oh, Brynleigh." River's eyes widened, and she shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I forgot you were here."

Brynleigh's lips pulled into a tight grimace. "It's okay."

Remembering Ryker's warning from earlier, Brynleigh took another step back and looked anywhere but at her sister-in-law. Ryker didn't want them interacting, but she didn't see how she could get out of this conversation smoothly.

"It's not okay," River said. "I know you guys were on your honeymoon. That's why I was hesitant about calling."

Brynleigh's brows furrowed, and her eyes swung over to her sister-in-law as she tried to process her words. "Hon?—"

"You did the right thing," Ryker spoke over Brynleigh, turning River around and pulling her to the closed door. "You should always call me."

River sighed. "I know, but?—"

"No ‘buts,'" Ryker said firmly. "Let's go see Dad."

They disappeared into the room without a backward glance. The door shut behind them, leaving Brynleigh alone. The empty house loomed over her as she stared at the door blankly.

Did…

Did River not know?

Brynleigh had thought Ryker told his family about the betrayal, but this interaction did not go how she thought it would. It was almost as if he had lied to his sister. Or at least, he had omitted the truth and twisted his words.

But… why would he do that? Why wouldn't he tell everyone what she'd done? Why would he protect Brynleigh?

Confusion swirled through her, and her head grew light.

Between The Rosewood, the almost-kiss, and now this, it was all too much. She missed the days when she just shoved her troublesome emotions aside and ignored them. That was so much easier than this . Now, the damned things insisted she pay attention to them, listen to them, fucking feel them.

Brynleigh slid down the wall, stretched her legs in front of her, and closed her eyes. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep.

Brynleigh was vaguely aware of a pair of hands beneath her. Someone lifted her and cradled her in their arms. Thunderstorms and bergamot washed over her, the scent achingly familiar.

"I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with you," the voice murmured.

Brynleigh tried to open her eyes and respond, but she was drifting between dreaming and waking. She stood with one foot in each land, and neither would release her. All she could do was sigh and burrow her head into the chest of whoever was carrying her.

"Fuck," they murmured. "Why do you look so innocent when you're sleeping?"

Did she? She didn't feel innocent. Blood coated her hands and her soul like a second skin. It was invisible, but she knew it was there.

The hands rolled her away, and she landed on something soft. Moments later, her shoes were tugged off her feet. A blanket was pulled over her, the sides tucked around her.

Lips brushed over her forehead in a feather-light kiss.

"I want to fix this, Brynleigh. To fix us. But I don't know how."

The words twisted deep within her.

She wanted to reach out and grab the other person, but sleep hooked its claws into her. It pulled her down, down, down, into its deep embrace.

Her last conscious thought was that she wanted to fix it, too.