Chapter 21

Then

"No, she's not enough!"

"Quiet, Camilla," my dad hisses from the living room. "She's going to hear you."

"I don't care, Scott. You told me—no, you promised me—it would get better. It's been seven years. We are still in the same rundown apartment."

I watch as my dad puts his hands on his head, shoulders dropping as he looks so sad. My parents are having another one of their fights. They have been having them more often. The fighting always begins after Daddy tucks me into bed, and he reads me a bedtime story. Right now we are reading The Wizard of Oz. It's a thicker chapter book so Daddy only reads one chapter a night.

It's becoming one of my favorite books. I was really sad when the bad storm came to the farm, but I'm glad Dorothy had her dog, Toto. At least she isn't alone on her journey to find the wizard who can help her get home. I told my Daddy I wanted a pair of red glitter heels just like she wears.

"It won't be long, Camilla. I promise."

Mom huffs out a breath. "That's what you keep saying, Scott. I'm done putting my life on hold waiting for you to make something of yourself. You're just a line cook. That's all you've been for the past five years."

Daddy and Mama think I'm in bed, only I've found the perfect hiding place between our beige fabric couch and the end table Daddy and I found on our way home from school. We stopped at a garage sale, and I picked this one up. It was my fault we had to get a new table. I was playing too rough with my dolls, and I accidentally knocked it over causing the leg to break.

"Just a line cook? Is that all you think of me, Camilla?"

"Yes, Scott. You were only supposed to be one night after a party. Too bad for me that my one wild night in college resulted in a broken condom and a baby. You promised you'd always take care of us. You promised me the world. This isn't the world."

"So leave, Cam. That little girl is the world. How can you stand here and say we aren't enough?" My Daddy looks so sad, and I just want to hug him, but I can't leave my hiding place, or Mama will get mad I'm out of bed.

"I never wanted this. I never wanted to be a mom at nineteen. She might be your whole world, but she isn't enough to make me stay. Take care, Scott."

From my spot, I watched my Mama reach for her purse and two suitcases as she walked out the door leaving us behind.

My Daddy crumpled to his knees crying so hard he shook.

As quietly as I could, I went back to my room. I didn't think Daddy wanted me to go to him.

Laying in bed, I couldn't help the tears that started pouring from my eyes. My mama didn't want me. She didn't love me. I wasn't enough to make her stay.

Sometime later when I had fallen asleep, I felt my Daddy climb into bed next to me. He pulled me close and whispered how much he loved me and that I was his world. His Amore Mia.

But all I could think about was how I wasn't enough.

What if someday I'm not enough for my Daddy?