Chapter 19

Iwoke up this morning wrapped in my comforter and wishing I was back in Cody's arms. I did not expect last evening to happen. The two of us laid in his bed watching A Cinderella Story and talking about this, that, and everything. It felt like we were those two teenagers who spent the summer chasing sunsets and never wanting the days to get shorter. Shorter days meant fall was approaching.

Tossing off my covers, I'm hit with the sudden urge to get my body moving. As much as I love running, I don't feel like I've been able to prioritize getting outside to run. I've mostly been hitting up hotel gyms for any type of exercise. Even though I know I'm more than likely safe, running on an unfamiliar campus gives me anxiety.

But there's nothing like running outside.

Feeling the pavement crunch under my shoes. Inhaling the fresh air. Seeing spring come alive in Texas.

Central Texas University has been around for one hundred and fifty years. The sidewalks are lined with mature trees that flourish in the warm months. Even though our townhouse is considered off-campus, if I run toward the back of our complex and cross another parking lot, I'm able to get to the brick-lined streets that make up CTU. I love the unique features CTU was built on and that they have kept updated all of these years.

Snapping on my silver belt bag, I double check that my phone, keys, and student ID are secured in the bag before I pop in my AirPods. Today's goal is an easy five miles around campus and back. My Mass Media Law class was canceled this morning, which means I don't have to be on campus until noon for my newspaper class, which is optional, but I try to make it as much as possible. I love writing in the newsroom, even if I don't have an assignment, the chaos is soothing.

I let my legs take over as I glide across the sidewalk keeping my head up but constantly looking ahead to make sure there aren't any high spots in the pavement. Running at this point is second nature. I could completely shut my brain off, and my limbs would know what to do. My feet would know to slide across the pavement, not pound. My legs have learned to push off the pavement in long strides. My arms have learned to stay bent, but relaxed, while my back stays straight.

Running and cooking are the two things that allow me to mentally shut out what's going on around me and focus on the task at hand.

Well, running typically allows me the luxury. This morning I'm still thinking about waking up in Cody Jacobs's bed yesterday.

I still can't believe I made the first move. But when I opened up that bag and saw my ribbon and note, everything escaped my brain. It was the sign I needed to realize Cody viewed our summer together as something; it wasn't nothing.

And when my lips met his…it was like the stars aligned, fireworks went off, and a bright neon sign was flashing saying this is it. This is everything I've been waiting for.

I smile at the memory.

But then cringe at my admission that I wasn't a virgin anymore. Why I felt the need to blurt that out, I have no idea. Maybe a small part of me wanted him to know I didn't sit around waiting for him. That while he was hooking up with half the campus, I wasn't still pining for him to take my virginity.

As a teenager and even a young adult, I never viewed my virginity as something super special. For me, it felt like I was walking around screaming about how inexperienced and unlikable I was in high school. I wasn't the girl who got the boy. I was the outcast no one wanted.

The summer Cody and I spent together, we spent a lot of time exploring each other's bodies, but it never escalated to more. I thought we had more time.

There's still a lot we need to work through. I can tell he's hiding parts away from me, and if we are going to really give things a go, we need to lay it all out there. But Saturday night, we both wanted to soak in each other's company.

Chuckling, I still can't believe he laid beside me and watched me quote A Cinderella Story. I thought for sure he'd immediately reject the super cheesy, early 2000s teen movie. But he didn't. He let me snuggle into his side and watch the movie while rubbing tiny circles on my back.

Through my AirPods, the sound of my phone alerts me that I have a new email. I internally debate whether I should ignore it, but within a second I do the responsible thing and step off the sidewalk. Resting my hands on my head, I take a few deep breaths before pulling out my phone.

Clicking on the new email I skim the message from my professor who leads the university's newspaper. She's requesting I stop by her office as soon as possible. Assessing my running apparel of light gray running shorts with the mini bike shorts underneath and a coral sports bra, I decide I'll reroute my run so that I'm finishing up on campus. I can quickly pop into her office and run home when we're finished.

Shrugging, I pop my music back on and continue my run through campus to the Union.

"Chloe!"

Stopping in my tracks, I search the sea of people for who called my name. A large smile breaks across my face when I spot dark brown hair hidden beneath a CTU Baseball cap and hazel eyes coming straight for me. Only he isn't returning my smile. His face is dark and furrowed. I can feel the anger seeping from him the closer he gets.

Not in the mood to deal with him, I turn and head inside the Union. He can come and find me. Weaving through students, I get in line at the little coffee shop that is right inside the door. Eyes track my movement from people around me. Normally I'd shy away from the stares and curl in on myself, but I somehow woke with a boost of confidence that I hadn't had before.

Cody comes up behind me, and I can feel his breath on my neck. Reaching inside my belt bag, I pull out my student ID which is loaded with money as I approach the counter.

The tall male barista eyes my attire causing a growl from behind me. "Uh-uh, what can I get you?"

"Hi, can I get one of your chocolate protein smoothies?" Looking over my shoulder, I find Cody glaring daggers at the barista who won't take his eyes off me. If I were Mr. Barista Man, I'd be avoiding pissing Cody off. His molars grind as I ask him, "Want anything?"

Cody's eyes find mine, and I give him a warm smile. "No thanks."

I swipe my Student ID as the Barista starts making my smoothie.

Stepping aside, Cody follows me, and the two of us debate back and forth on what is acceptable behavior in a crowd. I look around the space and notice every eye in this section of the Union is on us.

"Why do you look like you just got done working out?"

"It's because I did. I was on a run when I got an email that I needed to meet Professor Weaver as soon as possible."

"And you didn't think about changing?"

"No, Cody. I didn't think about changing. I was almost here anyway so I headed over as is."

He grits his teeth, and I chuckle. "Your alpha is showing, Cody Jacobs."

"I don't like the idea of you walking around like that."

Quirking a brow, I eye him down as he starts rummaging through his bag. "I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself. It's not like I wear this all the time."

He steps even closer than I thought was possible as he reaches up to my face. Running a finger down my cheek, I lean into our embrace. "People are staring at you."

"No, Wildflower, they're staring at you."

I roll my eyes because no one is staring at me. They're watching the hot baseball pitcher interact with a nobody and wondering why he's talking to me.

Leaning down, he ever so slowly brushes his lips against mine. Gasps come from around us as I reach up and wrap my hand around his nape. He deepens the kiss, and I know I should pull away, but I can't bring myself to do so.

The barista calls out my name and with much reluctance, Cody pulls away. But he doesn't give me space like I assumed he would. Instead, he wraps his arm over my shoulder, and I wrinkle my nose at the thought that he's touching my sweaty body which is now dry.

"Cody, I stink."

He guides me over to the counter where I grab my smoothie, nodding at the guy behind the counter as thanks. "Nah, you always smell like flowers to me."

"And roses really smell like poo-poo-ooh." I sing the lyrics to "Roses" by Outkast causing Cody to shake his head.

The two of us make our way over to the steps where we descend to the basement which is where the newsroom is located.

"How was practice?" The words come out quietly in the empty hallway.

"It wasn't too bad. We had a few running drills to do, but I loved the yoga afterward. Who would've known?"

I scoff. "I've seen your yoga instructor. I'm sure you all are enjoying the yoga."

"I only have eyes for you, Wildflower. I always have. Those other girls were just a distraction."

My cheeks turn pink as we approach the newsroom door. "This is me."

Cody removes his arm, and I instantly feel the loss of his body heat. The basement is chillier than normal, and I'm going to be showing everyone how cold I am. He's rummaging through his bag and pulls out a white shirt before handing it to me.

"Here. It's clean, don't worry. But this way you're warm."

"I'm not cold." But my body takes that moment to betray me as I shiver, exposing a major case of hard nips. Shit.

His eyes find the tight buds immediately. Clearing his throat, he brings his attention back to my face. "Uh-huh."

"Fine." I take the white long-sleeved shirt and slip it over my head. Cody's intoxicating scent floods my senses, and I smile. The shirt lands at the hem of my shorts and to look like I have pants on, I take the front hem and tuck it under my sports bra to give it a faux-cropped look.

His eyes rake over my form as he assesses how it fits on my body. The long-sleeve is long on my body. But I love that I'm wearing a shirt with his last name and number on my back. It might feel like his way of marking his territory, letting everyone know I'm his, but surprisingly, I don't mind the gesture.

"Fuck," he rasps. "My shirt looks damn good on you, Wildflower."

Leaning in closer, I reach up and find his ear. "I bet it looks even better on your bedroom floor."

I swear I hear him audibly gasp as his jaw drops to the floor. "Shit, Chlo. You need to get into your meeting, or I'm throwing you over my shoulder and testing your theory."

"Bye, Cody." I start to walk away before I feel his hand tug at my fingers. He pulls me toward him where his lips find mine in a searing kiss. A moan fills the space, and I couldn't tell you whose voice it came from. I feel the kiss melt into my center leaving me with damp panties.

Ending the kiss, he steps away as his feet carry him backward. His eyes never leave mine. "When can I see you again?"

Deciding to be coy, I give him a one-shoulder shrug as I enter the newsroom. My skin is hot, and I have a moment where I debate on turning on my heels and running out the door after him. I want to know if he'll make good on his promise to throw me over his shoulder.

Or if he'll come to his senses that I'm not good enough for him.

I don't have much time to think about that issue, even though the thought has been rattling around in my head all weekend. At some point, Cody is going to wake up and realize that there are better girls out there for him. I'm no one's first choice.

"Hey, Chloe!" Abby shouts from where she is sitting at one of the circular tables in the center of the room. Heads pop up from computer screens as everyone watches me enter the room.

With a quick wave to Abby, I head into Professor Weaver's office. Technically, this isn't her office, as she has her own office like the rest of the professors in a separate hallway. This is just the adviser's office for the university paper. The walls are decorated with framed special editions of The Eagle Gazette. Other than that, it's very generic.

Professor Weaver sits behind a monitor, her long brown hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She's in her late thirties, and while she is the picture of professionalism, there are days where she looks a bit like a hot mess. Today is one of those hot mess days. With minimal makeup, her outfit is very casual with a loose pair of boyfriend jeans and a basic black tee.

"Knock knock," I announce my entrance while knocking on the door frame. She glances up and sighs in relief.

"Oh thank god it's you."

I continue into her office before sitting down on the chair opposite her. I don't miss how she takes in my appearance.

"I was on a run when I got your email."

She chuckles. "You could have gone home. It wasn't anything serious."

"It's okay. My run was taking me to campus anyway."

She nods, but she takes in my shirt again. I want to shrink under her assessment. Pursing her lips together, she leans back in her chair. "How is everything going with the baseball team? Running into any troubles?"

"Everything is going great. There haven't been any issues that I'm aware of."

"That's great. With your schedule, we haven't been able to be in the same place at the same time. I wanted to reiterate how important it is that while you are covering all of the baseball games, you get some one-on-one time with Coach Weber. The main article on him will run in our last issue before school is out for the semester. I will send you a list of items that you will need to ask him about. These questions range from fun to personal to baseball-related. Feel free to pull him aside throughout the next couple of weeks. He'll be more relaxed in a casual setting."

Nodding my head, I take in all the information she is throwing my way while my phone is blowing up in my belt bag. "Thank you for sending me the questions to ask. I've been reading articles written by other reporters on coaches, as well as researching what I should be asking him. This will be much more helpful."

"Of course. I should have taken you to the side rather than dropping the bomb in front of the whole class. To be honest, I was quite overwhelmed with some personal items and trying to figure out the coverage that—as unprofessional as this might be to admit—I was spiraling and not thinking."

"Honestly, I felt blindsided." I pause trying to read Professor Weaver's expression as my phone vibrates for the millionth time. "But it has been a great experience, and I've enjoyed the opportunity to try something new."

She eyes me warily, and I want to hide. "I'm sure you've had plenty of opportunities to try new things. But I want to remind you that you are there to do a job."

Staring at her in bewilderment, Professor Weaver must realize I have no idea what she's implying. I watch as she takes a deep inhale. "A photo of you was just posted on the CTU Gossip Gazette lip locked in the middle of the Union with a very popular baseball player, and while I realize fashion has gotten quite lax with the amount of skin that is shown, as a member of the Eagles Gazette, please be more mindful of your appearance."

Humiliation floods my system as my face flames. I fight the urge to cover my face and cower in my seat. The whole campus is aware of Cody and my recent development, and I was caught in a photo with nothing on but a sports bra.

The CTU Gossip Gazette is the worst. Even though its name is similar to the newspaper, it has nothing to do with it. Instead, the Gossip Gazette is a social media account run by a group of students who rely on gossip tips from other students to fuel their content. Anyone can submit photos or leads about other students. The admins make sure that nothing damaging is posted or said that could be considered bullying or hate speech, but some things get posted out of context.

For the past two and a half years, I've managed to avoid anything being submitted about me. Within forty-eight hours of Cody and me being, well, whatever we are, I managed to get posted.

Straightening my shoulders, I look Professor Weaver in the eyes and nod.

"I understand, and I was not aware a photo was being taken. I planned to come straight here in my workout clothes, which I understand might not have been the best idea, but I was afraid I'd get shaky without fueling up. Running into Cody wasn't part of the plan, but at least he had an extra shirt." The words tumble out of my lips as the fear of being fired takes shape. "I won't let it happen again."

With a tight-lipped smile, she nods her head. "I believe you, and I understand. You're an excellent student and asset to this paper, Chloe. I was a college student once…a while ago, but I had my fair share of indiscretions. Please just be mindful as the paper is under a lot of pressure and scrutiny this semester."

"I understand."

"Great. I'll send you the email with some talking points for Coach Weber. I can't wait to read your next article recapping the baseball game. Keep up the great work, Chloe."

I get to my feet and exit the office, making my way over to the table Abby is still sitting at. I pull out a chair and plop down across from her.

"Whew, girl, you're all over the internet," Abby says before I even have a chance to make myself comfortable in my chair.

Finally able to, I bury my head in my hands while letting out a very unladylike groan.

"How bad is it?" My voice is muffled from behind my hands, my phone vibrates again.

Giving up on ignoring it, I unzip the silver polyester bag and pull out my phone. The screen lights up with more notifications than I have received in two months.

"Chloe, you okay?" Abby asks concern all over her face. "You look a little pale."

I imagine I could be a ghost's twin right now as the overwhelming urge to pass out hits me.

Ignoring Abby's question, I scroll through the notifications staring at the Instagram mentions first.

Opening the app, the first thing I see is a picture of me standing in the café wearing my gray running shorts, coral sports bra, and silver belt bag across my hips while my arms are wrapped around Cody's neck, our lips locked in a searing kiss on a gossip account.

The photo looks hot and looks far more inappropriate than the actual moment.

I pause to stare at the photo before clicking the notifications tab which keeps flashing with more mentions.

@pastel_princess is that you?

I'm pretty sure that's @pastel_princess

Ew what's @jacobs_cody doing with that weirdo @pastel_princess? I promise I'm more fun than she is.

@pastel_princess trying hard enough?

@pastel_princess why not just show up naked?

After the fifth comment I read where some mean girl is making it a point to mention how bad I look, how trashy my outfit is, or how much better Cody could do all while propositioning him, I close out of the app and power off my phone.

The insecurity I've been working so hard to keep locked away starts to rear its nasty head. It's one thing to wake up every morning and hear those negative thoughts as I stare at myself in the mirror, but it's entirely different to read them from a stranger. A stranger who doesn't know me, doesn't know my story, or hasn't even been in the same room as me. They just view me as a threat, someone between them and Cody, and choose to tear me down to make themselves feel better.

Not only am I reading the hateful words, but so are others who feel the need to chip in with more hurtful comments.

Realizing that I'm sitting in a room full of people, I glance around and find eyes bouncing away from me.

"Do you have anything that needs editing?" Deciding I'm not leaving this room anytime soon, I ask Abby for some work that will keep me occupied for the next few hours. There's no way I can walk across campus, not with this post everywhere. Thankfully, Ty is in my last class of the day, and I'll get notes from him.

Shuffling through papers, Abby hands me a small stack of notes. "I can always use some help. Do you mind reading through these notes and comparing them to my article? I want to make sure I have the story portrayed accurately."

"Of course. I'll email you with any notes."

Popping my AirPods in, I find an open desk and log into the system with my school information.

And this is where I stay for the next five hours before I call a rideshare to take me home.