Chapter 28

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

" P riestess." 99's deep voice and the stroke of his thumb across my jaw pulls my attention back from watching him straighten his bloodied armor. He helps me off the table, my skirt falling to the floor in an elegant sway, hiding the sticky mess between my legs.

I adjust the front of my neckline to hide the rip 99 created while we were both carried away.

He brings my hand up, examining the wounds on my skin.

"They will heal," I whisper.

He presses the afflicted area to his visor where his lips would be, as if to sweetly kiss me there.

My gifts have almost fully returned, and when they do, the wounds will heal faster. Knowing I will soon be able to feel 99's mind makes me tremble with anticipation.

But a wave of dread takes over at the thought of our special connection being hunted and sniffed out by Crixa's wards. In the past, she never liked me using my gift of mind's eye and knew when I had used it without permission, and that was when she liked me. I can't imagine what she would do now that I am out of her favor.

"We can't tether to each other. I am sorry." The words feel spiky in my throat as they come out. "Crixa's wards may pick up on it. She instructed Lord Hollis to remove my gifts every day because she does not want me using them."

His fists clench in response to hearing more details of Lord Hollis's treatment. He stares at the body behind me, his posture changing.

I glance back at the gruesome display now littering the floor and feel a pit form in my gut. Lord Hollis is very dead, murdered for reasons that are not easily explained to the Estate.

"99, the guards will find him here."

"You will not be here when they do. Who knows you were in this room?" 99 asks, rounding the table and pulling the knife from Lord Hollis in a wet squelch.

"The guardsman assigned to me, Ben, and some of his guards, but they left as soon as I arrived. We were alone for most of the coup."

He tenses, pausing for just a moment like he wants to put the knife back and kill him all over again. "Good."

"Good?"

"They left you here, and the coup continued. This wing was attacked and you fled."

"So they will think Lord Hollis was killed by First Son soldiers?" I guess his train of thought.

"No, you do not know who was killed in the coup, only that you fled. Is there a part in the Estate you can go?"

"The temple."

"No."

They would notice me arriving long after the attack was over.

"I can get to my bedchambers without being seen. They are the same . . . as before."

He takes a long time to answer, then inhales deeply. "Do they keep you imprisoned there?"

"No, I move around almost freely during the day. I am only in my chambers at night."

"Go there. I will find you after I meet with the emperor. The atmosphere in the Estate is about to change, Priestess. Have you found anything on the Temple of Divine Mothers?"

There is a long tense silence that falls between us as he waits for my answer.

"Nothing yet." I shake my head, panicked and ashamed. "But I think I have a way into the Temple of Divine Mothers now."

He sighs, but I have no idea what he is thinking, if he is disappointed, still feeling the rage from the battle or something else.

Already the distance of being untethered is difficult.

I have little to show for my time here, but I planned on getting into the Temple of Divine Mothers to clean their statues. To try and find information on the missing mother, to speak with Leema and search for any indication of corruption.

He stops pressing the buttons on his forearm, sensing my distress. "My fleet is here from the birthlands, but more will come now that First Son has attacked the Estate. There is still time, I promise you, but please let me help you."

"Alright," I whisper, but it comes out shaky.

"No, Ferren, I'm serious. You sent Commander Wesley away when I tried to help before."

"You know I could not give up then."

He looks furious, either from feeling out of control or being reminded that I was in a dungeon for weeks and refused to leave when he sent Commander Wesley.

"But you have not found anything," he confirms.

"I have not even spoken to Leema, 99. I'm close but—" My voice dies in my throat.

He pulls me against his chest and brushes a hand down my hair, soothing me.

I wipe my face with my sleeve. We are better together, stronger, and even though I know I had to come back this way to get into the Estate, from here, I will need help.

"You have done the difficult part. You have not failed. The circumstances have changed." He rubs my grey veil between his fingertips, and I know he understands its meaning. "I will be in your chambers tomorrow night and we will come up with a plan before the rest of the fleet gets here."

"What happens when the rest of the fleet gets here?"

He pauses, rubbing up and down my arms. "We have been in here too long, Ferren. You need to go now."

It scares me that he won't answer my question. I want to ask again, to press him, but the bell restarts and I practically jump into him, the sound eliciting an automatic terror response.

He holds me and checks his forearm for messages from the fleet.

The bell is slow and deep in pitch, and it swings lazily in each direction.

"It's a mourning bell." I release him, realizing we are not in danger.

Priestesses have died today, likely more than the few I saw, and the sad, slow toll of our temple's bell reflects that.

99 arranges some of the furniture differently and grabs his weapon, pointing it at Lord Hollis's body, then pauses.

He intends to make it look like the coup spilled into this room, that Lord Hollis was cut down by weapons of First Son. He glances at me like he knows he should wait until I leave before opening fire, afraid to show me this side of him. I have seen his rage, the violence that comes forward when he is protecting, but this is a colder version of that.

For some reason, it doesn't scare me. What does is the sudden wave of despair that falls over me, the sound of the mourning bell calling me to witness death rituals for my priestess sisters. It defaults me back in time once again, muscle memory pulling me like a ghost wandering the Estate halls, carrying out the repetitive tasks it once had.

"I should go," I whisper, afraid he will see this side of me.

He nods.

A cold, stony barrier passes between us, erecting itself in the absence of our tether. We both feel it.

We have forgotten what it is like to speak when I cannot feel his constant amber affection, when there is a buffer filling in emotions where words fail us.

The sting of that reality is more painful than any of the injuries Lord Hollis afflicted onto me.

I keep close to the walls, each corridor darker and more ominous, littered debris everywhere, displaying the effects of the coup. I can hear people cleaning up the aftermath of the attack, and I catch a glance over a balcony of an Estate guard lifting a body on a flat board and carrying it away.

I even see some Viathan commanders talking with Estate guards. There are people all around me protecting the Estate from the ones who did this, but I still do not feel safe.

The way to my chambers is blocked by a busy hallway of people and I need to remain unseen. So I choose a different path and turn down the corridor toward the kitchen, physicians wing, and lesser priestess quarters. I pause, realizing the physician's room is close and it has preventative tea inside.

99 and I were not thinking. We were too caught up, and even now, I can feel the result of our frantic reunion spilling out of me and down my leg.

The door is off the hinges when I enter, the contents inside mostly destroyed. There is blood on the floor and the furniture has been moved to create a barricade.

I tiptoe over glass, lifting my skirt to reach the back of the room where the teas are stored.

The one I seek is not popular in the Estate, so the glass jar is full to the brim when I pull it out. But when I lift the lid, it slips out of my sweating grasp and falls to the floor, shattering the glass and sprinkling the tea with it.

I curse myself and drop to my knees to pick out the glass shards from the only little, salvageable pile left.

Footsteps in the hall pass and I pause, frozen with two fingers in the dry, leafy pile. When they are far enough away and I have what looks like the same amount that 99 normally places in a teacup, I leave.

I can't go through the Estate cupping this as I walk, so I decide to place the ground up leaves in my mouth, sucking on the bitter flavor, hoping it will have the same effect.

As I reach my wing, I am so nervous that this method will not be enough, so I swallow them whole. Thankfully, this part of the Estate is empty and silent, untouched by the day.

I slip past the heavy door and lock myself inside. I wash the blood from my skin and discard my dress under my bed between a trunk and the bottom of the mattress.

By the time I have changed into a new gown, pounding at my door makes me almost jump out of it. My hands feel like fire, and when I look down, they are flickering green.

My gifts are back, making me feel like myself again.

"The highest priestess requires all temple members," the guard shouts.

As I open my door, I see a guardsman pounding on another wooden door down the hall and shouting the same thing.

"High Priestess Ferren?" a voice behind me says.

I turn to find another Estate guard at my door, looking at me expectantly.

"Yes?"

"I am to escort you to the grand hall."

"The grand hall? Where is Guardsmen Ben?"

"I was given no other orders, High Priestess."

Ben must still be with Thea on the other side of the Estate. I recognize this guard; he was one of the ones who originally accompanied me with Ben.

"Ok . . . I will be just a moment." I shut the door and quickly pin my veil in my hair and examine myself in the mirror for any signs that I have not been safely tucked in my room during the entire coup.

In the hall, elder and high priestesses walk in the same direction as us. They whisper and speculate on the reason for the chosen location and who they were with when the coup started. I strain to listen to them, wondering how much they know. The closer we get, the more temple members file toward that direction as if they are being summoned for ritual.

Giant, fiery torches are lit in the entrance, matching ones on either side of the dais, lighting the room and casting orange light on Emperor Matthias and Crixa. They sit perfectly still as we pack in, watching us take our places lining the walls, stepping up on the platforms for the priestess order.

Every Estate member is also present, it seems. Everyone but Lord Hollis.

The spot he normally occupies next to the emperor screams to be noticed. His absence is obvious to some as they look around to figure out who else is missing.

Crixa's heavily shadowed eyes lock with mine, and I bow my head, hoping she will not fixate on me or where I was during the coup. In her mind, the worst punishment is to ignore me, to pretend like we never had a special bond, to treat me like everyone else.

Her snakelike tether pokes and prods to see if I will react. She calls out not to say hello but to bait me, to test if my gifts have returned full force. I can see right through her now, her malicious intent.

I purposely rub my forehead as if I can feel something but it's affecting me as if I cannot feel her tether at all, like her probing is causing a headache and not revealing her constant game of distrust. I clear my throat and ignore it until the tentacle retreats, and when I side glance at her, she has moved on.

I could have let her in, showed her how slowly my gifts trickle back. She knows they will return now that Lord Hollis is dead, but pacing her expectation of how long it will take and letting her believe that some are still unrefined and not under my control seems wise.

The Temple of Divine Mothers files into the back of the grand hall, the dark corner almost eating up their pure white gowns. I can faintly see Leema, her face cast in shadow, but I notice her chin lift slightly as she looks down the line of grey dresses until her face points in my direction.

I can't see her eyes, but I know for a moment she is looking at me, finding me in the crowd, then relaxing slightly, finally allowing herself to pay attention in the direction of the emperor. I knew she was not harmed in the attack, as 99 made sure that was one of the first things he spoke of.

However, it is clear she did not know if I was and it should not make my eyes misty that she cares if I am alive or dead, but it does. It's a tiny reminder that we are connected, that maybe there is hope for us.

I search the rows of lesser priestesses across the room from me, trying to see if there are any gaps in their numbers, but their faces look distorted in the candlelight, their veils making their eyes look hollow.

Somewhere on this side of the platform, there is an empty spot for the high priestess who fought in the corridors with Ben, the one I could not help. My priestess sisters do not deserve to die, as flawed as this place can be. They do not know of the horrors that happen here, only that they have vowed to protect the stones.

Thea enters behind a few elders who also serve in the school. She does not take her eyes off the elders' backs as she steps on the platform, looking ghostly and dazed. I wonder how bad the coup was in that part of the Estate. Thea's matriarchal line is powerful. She once told me she could trace it back to the war with First Son, her ancestors wielding such great strength, they could level battlefields, but I have never seen her use her gifts.

The temple was happy to grant her request to be posted in the School of Divine Children, protecting the future of our order. The toll such violence has taken on someone so soft as Thea is written on her face.

"We have lost priestess sisters this day. We have lost guardian brothers," Crixa speaks to the hushed room. "The history of this day will be written as a great devastation to our order. We have not lost such numbers since . . . the war with First Son. But now is not a time to grieve. Yes, your priestess sisters will be laid to rest, their rituals performed. But this is a time for vigilance, for strength, to rise up to protect your temple. There are wolves amongst us."

My heart lurches in my chest as I listen to her words, the suspicion in her voice. I take a deep breath and remind myself she is speaking about First Son.

"Some of you may have witnessed Viathans within our walls. Their government has sent aid, a . . . fleet," Crixa says with a sigh.

An elder interrupts and then another, objecting to the Viathans' presence here.

The emperor stands and signals with his hands for them to remain calm and silent, raising his palms and pushing down. "There is little to be done. There are laws within the three worlds written by the priestesses and leaders of old. The stones are here, behind our walls, but the Viathans are within their rights to also protect them during the conjunction year. We have fought alongside the Viathans before and we will again."

He speaks so loudly, as if to smother what Crixa might say.

She glares at him.

This is a calmer version of her, one that has had her explosion in private and then collected herself enough to speak without seeming weak. I know she hates this, the laws that allow 99 and the fleet to be here. She is the most powerful priestess in the temple, but the emperor rules over Cosima, not her.

He is devoted to the temple, mixing Cosima's Estate and temple affairs together like they are one, but he is much more reasonable when it comes to dealing with the other worlds than Crixa.

"There will be time to discuss such things in the temple. Of how we will defend ourselves with Mother's gifts at the forefront," she cuts in.

The emperor ignores her and turns to the side, as if Lord Hollis is standing next to him, speaking in his ear like he always did. A habit that he realizes and corrects with a scowl. "We have lost too many to let the details of our worlds' differences keep us from protecting the stones. We united to retrieve them, and we unite again to protect them. I will not be the first emperor who fails to keep them safe during a conjunction."

Then Emperor Mathias's eyes focus on something at the entrance of the grand hall. He squints and then stands up straighter, adjusting the small amount of strictly decorative armor that adorns his lavish clothing.

I turn to the opening, where guards line the enormous entry painted in black, hollow shadows.

Gasps echo as a few of the priestesses turn to look as well, like they see something no one else does.

And then my eyes adjust, and I see it too.

The flames of giant torches lick the armor of Viathans standing in formation. The armor of more than a dozen is as black as the shadows, only picking up the glow of the flames on the surfaces of their visors and some of the details of their weapons.

They are as silent as if they truly are made of shadow themselves, standing and waiting for entry. I have lived with them all around me, but even I feel a little uneasy at the sight of the perfectly still picture that has been present without our knowledge until a candle reflection hit one of their armors just right.

The emperor greets them, and even the first step of the Viathan in front is silent. He walks steadily up the long grand hall between the platforms of priestesses on either side, all watching in silence. I recognize him immediately, the piece of fabric at his back, the more ornate metal carving on his shoulder.

The lord general.

When I see 99 next to him, equally large but less adorned in polished, cumbersome armor, my stomach flips. It is clear who brutally fought today and who gave instructions.

99's walk up the pathway is more intimidating somehow, a slow prowl like when he arrives to his destination, he will attack.

The lord general is diplomatic and calm, and the entire rest of the group walks at his pace. I can see the curved breastplate of Commander Yeva and wonder if one of the commanders on either side of her is Commander Wesley.

They all walk in the same steps of the person next to them, coordinated and deadly in appearance.

"Emperor Matthias." The lord general bows his head as he reaches the dais and halts.

"Lord General."

"Emperor Matthias," 99 says with gritted teeth and no bow.

"Cosima thanks you for your swift intervention," the emperor starts.

"The Estate is secure. A minor number of hostages will be questioned. The stones are secure as well," the lord general continues.

"Yes, of course the stones are secure, Lord General. They are in our temple, being protected by the priestess order. While you were wielding your guns at peasants turned First Son's followers, we were defending First Mother's stones," Crixa snaps, saying all her thoughts in one long breath and leaving her red-faced and desperately needing air by the end of it.

"And must the priestess order be present now? Seems foolish to have them all in the same room." 99's tone is so challenging, Crixa steps forward.

He glances down the line of lesser priestesses and then to the platform on my side. The almost invisible tension in his fist when his helmet points in my direction then keeps going tells me he spoke those words on purpose, to distract her and give himself a reason to look at us in disgust. To confirm if I am in here too.

"You may use our cells for the hostages," the emperor announces.

"What value does questioning them have, Lord General? We know why they are here, why they want to destroy the stones," Crixa pushes.

It seems every world has their version of what would happen if the stones were destroyed by First Son. I was always told that if the stones were destroyed, First Mother would never wake again. In the Viathan library, I found a book that stated we would be in permanent conjunction, that the worlds would stop orbiting and stay in darkness for all of time.

Crixa believed our gifts would be taken away as punishment, that she could feel hers increasing when the stones were near each other, so it only made sense that the opposite would be true. But all worlds agree that if the stones are destroyed, all hope of First Mother waking from her slumber will be destroyed with them, any chance of our worlds coming together again dying.

I have every confidence that the priestess order and the Viathan fleet will keep the stones safe, so I do not have to refocus my attention. It will make little difference if a single priestess secretly veers from the course.

The lord general continues to speak with the emperor of strategy, of how they plan to assist during the rest of the conjunction. Crixa objects often but mostly scowls. The only sentence pulling me away is Crixa mentioning that the priestess order will begin training in the ways of the priestesses of old. That the Viathans are to remain away from the courtyards unless they would like to be used for practice.

I watch 99, his strong back, the way the armor mimics the muscles there. I desperately want to reach out and touch my mind to his, but it is too dangerous.

Crixa is close and her wards are too strong.

He looks over his shoulder as if he felt me involuntarily cast out a tendril to him by just thinking of being connected with him again. I follow the tilt of his head like he knows I am behind him, watching as he listens to our leaders.

He flexes his fist twice, slowly and intentionally, like he does when he holds my hand. He can't send me affection through the tether, but somehow he still tells me he has me. Even in a room full of temple members and Viathans, he finds a way.