Chapter 19

Chapter

Nineteen

" F erren, does this look right to you?" August asks.

A figure dressed in temple clothing emerges from the long line of Estate guards.

Lord Hollis.

He waits for my arrival, not the elders of the priestess order, not the emperor or the Highest Priestess of Cosima.

There could only be one reason he has been sent first.

"Calliape, I may not be able to call out to you. I will not be able to use any gifts for a while." I force my voice to sound calm.

"Is that Lord Hollis?" Her expression turns to disgust as she remembers the things I have told her about him, his ability to neutralize gifts and how he captured mine before I was locked in my Estate chambers.

"Yes, and I want you to promise me you won't come looking in the Estate. Do not fold the distance there. He has a ward up too, I feel it, and I am not sure what it can do."

"You won't be able to defend yourself," August protests.

"Let's assume he was sent as a precaution," I say optimistically. "Calliape?"

"I promise, but make your way to the safe house as soon as you can."

"I have until the last days of the conjunction before you need to worry about me. Please . . . just give me that time before either of you do anything."

"99 won't like that you can't use your gifts in there," August warns.

"They need assurance I am not going to blow up the grand hall again. We have nothing to worry about." I sound like I am trying to convince myself as much as I am them.

He nods.

"There are so many," Calliape whispers as more shadowy figures become full weapon-wielding guards as the dust settles.

I lean forward to look down the long row that lines the docking area. It's completely empty other than the light from their flames and the very few illuminated building windows, like this whole section of the city was commanded to make themselves scarce.

"We are one button away from heading back where we came from. Well, a couple buttons. Just say the word."

"Thank you, August, but I am ready."

I say an aching goodbye to Calliape and assure her I will be fine, not to worry until the last days of the conjunction, that this process will take time. She hugs me tightly and only walks with us until we get to the mess hall. We previously agreed it would be safer for her to stay inside, as there would be fewer questions if it appears only a transporter has delivered me.

The doors in the cargo hull seem to move in slow motion as the ramp steadily descends, letting in the true dry air of Cosima.

August stands beside me with a data pad, ready to show his order of clearance to the guards if necessary. His ship has broken no laws but this time he is bringing back a cast-out priestess and not sacred stones, making his arrival presumably less welcome.

Lord Hollis steps forward, his guards moving in tandem on either side. The moment our eyes meet, I begin to chip away at the sticky protection ward around his mind's eye. It's not strong, and I just need a tiny crack to see inside, to gain a small advantage and know if there are any reasons for his presence other than to take my gifts.

"Blessed evening, former Priestess Ferren." He ducks his head in a mock bow, satisfied with how my new title sounds to him.

"Lord Hollis." I duck my head in the closest thing to submission as I can stand.

"Search the ship." He turns to the nearest guard then looks August up and down in a disgusted inspection. "Can never be too careful on a conjunction year, you understand, Viathan."

August sighs, unfazed. "I can't let you do that, Lord . . . Hollock, was it?"

I want to shoot August a warning look, but even simply telling him to stop would bring attention to our familiarity, and I am determined to not let my mouth give away anything the moment we land.

"You risk your life. It is protocol to search a ship entering another world's dock."

"Yeah, I thought you would say something like that. Showy, but not very thought out, like that strange little outfit you have on," he responds without looking at Lord Hollis and begins to tap on his data pad. "As you can see, I am well within the three worlds' law to deliver here, and she is the delivery." He flicks his chin to me and then holds the screen out to Lord Hollis.

"Get that blasphemous thing out of my face, Viathan, and leave while you can."

"No conflict there, and . . . uh . . . blessed conjunction." August mockingly bows.

He is being over the top, and at first, I think he cannot help it, but then I realize he is cushioning the first meeting, taking up some of the attention as I acclimate to my surroundings.

When his eyes flick to mine for a very brief, indulgent second, I can see how hard he is trying, how difficult it is for him to drop me off and leave me here. He is putting on a show to distract and pull focus, not only from what I may be going through but to hide his own feelings as well.

"I advise a swift departure," Lord Hollis says too loudly.

August waits for a long time, just staring back at the slimy man, intentionally taking up time. He glances at me, and I nod slightly, hoping it conveys how much I am screaming inside for him to go while he can.

"Happy to have her off my ship," August says in a stiff voice, then turns to ascend the ramp.

I can't say goodbye. I shouldn't even say thank you. I am a delivery, and he is a Viathan pilot simply doing his job.

No priestess in the Estate would offer him politeness, and even though I want to hug my friend and say I will see him soon, I cannot.

As the ship leaves, I wait until most of the guards are looking upward to see it lift off the ground. The dust and wind allow me to hide my expression as August's ship ascends up into the sky.

"I am happy to see you in the veil again, even if it's on such drastic terms." Lord Hollis gestures me toward the entrance of the Estate.

The stone walls are a strangely lit color from the last time I was here, the conjunction eclipse creating an almost haunting shadow in places that would normally be bright with natural light.

I smile politely and nod as we cross the high archway to the sound of guards falling into formation behind us. The hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up, sensing how close they are.

In all the scenarios I ran through in my mind to prepare, I did not practice how natural it would feel to walk around, my body knowing the air, the feel of the floor here, falling right back into the environment with ease.

That alone scares me more than seeing the number of guards who came to meet me.

"You have heard of your sister's pilgrimage, of course?"

"The reason for my desire to atone." I try to command my voice to be monotone. "It was enough to make me see how foolish I have been."

He hums. "The long night of the conjunction always baffles me. Such unusual events occur."

It's impossible not to sink into the inky abyss of his mind, a trap luring me into the depths. The moment he mentioned her, it was like a vine stretching out, looking for something to latch onto and coil itself around for any news, any recent memory of her in the Estate that he may have. My desperation taking hold, like I am pulling out the vines by the invasive roots and trying to detach myself before he notices.

"That was very rude," he says, amused.

I can feel my forehead tighten in confusion.

Oh. He felt it.

Suddenly, I have the sudden urge to cough, to hunch over and heave. The sensation is like solid pieces of me are being pulled out without permission.

Lord Hollis's face is smug as he watches me clear my throat. "You will have your gifts back when you behave. I was ordered to take them away, but I had to see if you would try." He closes his eyes like he has tasted something delicious. The humming sound makes me sick.

A single snap and I feel an emptiness spread through me, my mind crackling where my gift has been taken away and my fingertips freezing where light used to warm them.

Lord Hollis's gift is temporary; he can't hold mine forever.

He is testing me, seeing if I bend in submission or fight back as my gifts are stripped.

What happens next could derail any chance to stop the Temple of Divine Mothers.

I clear my throat as if it is nothing. "Apologies, Lord Hollis. My etiquette is lacking. Viathan company allows me to roam in and out without permission. Poor things don't even notice," I lie with a tight smile.

"Yes, well, you are in the Estate now, former Priestess."

I bow my head. "My intention is for forgiveness."

Lord Hollis is easy to appease. The moment his ego gets a taste of power, manufactured or not, he is blinded by any manipulation. He is perfect to practice Estate manners on, even if the words feel ridiculous and stilted as they come out.

His rudeness toward me is not much different than my treatment before as a lesser priestess. Even the removal of my gift feels the same as being forced to stifle looking into others' minds' eyes.

Lord Hollis is a propped-up pawn to do the bidding of the temple and make sure I am serious about their offer. I have to give them what they want: submission and the appearance of my immense regret for losing my way.

Perhaps no other priestess will ever be selected to assist on a conjunction year again. Maybe mine will be recorded as a bout of hysteria and used as a cautionary tale to lesser priestesses to not look beyond their station and to pray harder during the conjunction year to not end up like Priestess Ferren.

They can think what they want, say what they want, and write whatever tale of me in their twisted versions of history.

"Are we going to the emperor's wing?" I pause in the corridor that leads to it, but his shoulders are pointed in the other direction.

He turns toward me, gesturing for the guards to halt. "No."

"Am I not to be received by Emperor Matthias?" I ask, confused.

"Emperor Matthias has no need for you. Your business is with the priestess order."

I want to scream at him to take me to my sister, to claw my way past them and flee in her direction as we turn away from the emperor's wing. If I seem eager or brazen, then this will not work.

"Are we to go to the temple to begin the ritual then?"

He shushes me and holds out a forearm in the direction he would like me to walk.

Despite my body begging me not to follow him down the candlelit hallways, I do. I force each step, trying to remain calm. Willing myself to appear like I want this, to go deeper into the Estate without opposition.

"Does it look different from how you left it?" Lord Hollis smirks and offers a hand as we cross the grand stairs. The same stairs 99 used to lead us toward freedom that day we left Cosima, right before we heard the footsteps of Estate guards coming to stop us.

My eyes fall to the spot Calliape's body landed across the huge room, my breath hitching at the memory.

"Former Priestess?" Lord Hollis says, and I realize I have stopped walking. "Issue?"

"No. The Estate looks . . . the same. Darker, of course. I always forget how truly dark the conjunction can be." I smile and continue to follow him.

But where to? This direction does not seem right.

I have seen the atonement ritual before. It was performed in the Estate temple and in the bathhouse for final completion.

He stops at the wooden door, and it makes a terrible creak as he pulls the knob, a noticeable difference from the smooth, disappearing ones in the capital building on Viathan.

This isn't right. It can't be.

"Come." He flicks at me.

These stairs lead lower into the Estate, to a place where people are sent and never seen again.

"Lord Hollis." I huff with a fake smile, trying to remain calm. "I was offered atonement. I am meant to begin the ritual."

This was a mistake.

I should not have followed him.

He watches me with a smug look. I am at his mercy and he knows it.

On reflex, I press as hard as I can into my tether for Calliape, but there is nothing. I'm stuck in place, screaming internally, calling out to her, but she can't hear me.

He waits, his hand extended.

And then his patience snaps. "Grab her," he commands.

The two nearest guards happily grip me by my arms. Their violent digits dig into my skin as if I am thrashing to get away, but I remain still.

"I am cooperating, Lord Hollis! But I will have my confessions heard. I will atone to the temple and to First Mother."

He takes a dramatic step toward me. "Yes, yes, of course, salvation awaits."

There is something so terrifying about his tone and the way the light from the candles blacks out his eye sockets and makes his smile look feline.

I glance at one of the guards out of the corner of my eye, trying to get any indication of the reason for taking me down into the belly of the Estate. I know it's useless, but I try to pull my arm away from him, slowly moving it toward my body, but his grasp tightens like two crushing rocks.

I wince and pull back more, and the guard on the other side with the same frozen expression restrains me.

I lose control, pulling in every direction I can, fighting as if I am drowning, like the restriction will continue to tighten until I am choked out.

"Calm yourself." Lord Hollis touches my cheek.

A sharp, zapping pain shoots through me, starting from his fingertips and travelling to the bottom of my feet like a strange current.

Then a numbness washes over every muscle and I go slack, not able to hold myself up or speak, only pant for breath as if I have been running for hours.

"There, that's better, pet."

My head bobs to the front and I watch the stone floor pass us by as the two giant guards hold my limp body up, dragging me along. My feet scuff and fall down each step.

The floor changes abruptly, and we are walking at a slow decline, the tile turning to larger, raw-cut stone, and then I realize there is only one thing under the Estate and that is where I am being taken.

Lord Hollis is bringing me to the dungeons.