16. Chapter 16

We were quiet on our walk home. It was eerie, and I didn't like the silence between us, but also, I refused to change my mind. It wasn't just me I needed to think of. The longer my former Alpha stayed out there, the more people that could be harmed. If there was anything I could do to stop that, I was going to.

Once we arrived home, we went our separate ways. We both needed the time to just be. As much as I loved spending time with my new pack, the entire situation was stressful right now, especially with Apollo and I at such odds on something so very important.

We'd finished our meal with his family, enjoying our time together talking about anything other than the investigation. There was tension between us, but I wasn't mad at Apollo and he wasn't mad at me. At least I didn't think he was. We simply had conflicting viewpoints and we needed to work through it.

I just wanted this whole thing to be over. And not over as in I stayed here and pretended it didn't exist. I wanted it full-on over. No more making decisions based on that asshole. He'd already taken up too much of my life, and now that I was going to be a father, I needed him fully gone. My family should be the only worry I had.

More than anything I wanted to race back to Apollo, hug him, and absorb all of his warmth and affection. I would've too, except my heart song was humming, and I sensed that my mate needed some time to himself. I wasn't going to deny him that for my own selfish needs. Not when I was the reason he was feeling that way in the first place.

Instead, I went straight to my pottery wheel and got to work while he went to his shop, probably to work on the crib. I let myself get lost in the clay. Working with my hands always gave me a means of escaping whatever was clogging up my headspace, and today was no different. An hour later, I felt a tug on my heart song. I cleaned up and made my way to the shop.

He stood with his hands resting over the crib rail, admiring his work. And as well he should. The crib was nearly complete, and it was absolutely gorgeous. He'd carved it out of a walnut tree that had fallen last year. Apollo had milled the wood himself. From beginning to end, this crib was made 100% by his own hands and infused with his love.

"It's beautiful," I said. Beautiful didn't begin to describe how stunning it was. I walked over and ran my hands over it. Never in my life had I seen such a work of art, and I had to blink back tears of emotion it brought forth.

"Thank you," he said, not taking his eyes off the nearly completed crib.

The wood gleamed in the sunlight from its freshly stained surface. I almost didn't want to take it in the house and use it for fear that it'd get scuffed or scratched or marred in some way. But also, those marks would each tell a tale, wouldn't they?

"I don't know that I've ever had a project turn out so perfectly." He wasn't bragging. He was in awe of all that he'd accomplished. "I can't wait to see our child rest their beautiful head in this crib. I'm afraid I don't want anything to happen to this piece."

I came to his side, resting my cheek against his arm. "It is beautiful. But you cannot put it in a glass case, Apollo. The crib was meant to be used. Ask me about the teeth marks in my crib from when I was little. It won't come out unscathed, but each mark will hold a memory and make it even more special."

Now he put his arm around me and held me close. "I could not bear if anything happened to you. I just found you. Any time I think about letting you be used as bait, it drives me insane."

"You are not going to let me do anything, Apollo. It is my decision to make. Please trust that I'm making it with the best interest of our family in mind." I clenched my jaw and steeled myself for the discussion we were about to have.

Apollo and I had never argued about anything before. We barely disagreed on anything. I was spoiled in that Apollo seemed to give in to any whim that I had. Only now, when I needed his support, I didn't have it.

"I know you would never do anything to put our child in harm's way. There has to be another way to do this."

"Perhaps there is, if we wanted to take all the time in the world to let the investigation run its course. But we're running out of time, and it's not only us we need to think about. He's dangerous."

"You are not proving your point well, my love."

He might've been correct, but I wasn't going to lie my way to having him agree. "I want our child to grow up in a world where they are free to go anywhere. To be born into a world where they are safe and no one is after their father."

"I know that, my love." He kissed my brow.

I couldn't even be upset with him. He was not trying to boss me around or tell me what I could and could not do. No, my mate was scared. Fear was something that I understood.

"You'll be with me the whole time. They'll have a dozen Steelwick investigators there."

Tomas had said it was an all-men-on-deck kind of scenario. That alone gave me a boost in confidence that this would work.

"I don't wish for this alpha to remain free any longer. He's threatened your home once and broken countless other laws. He's hurt countless people. I want—no, I need him brought to justice." My argument didn't go unheard. I knew the moment my mate conceded, it was like there was a shift in our heart song. I was still learning how to decipher all of the nuances, but each day they became clearer.

Apollo closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. "Okay, mate, let's talk with Steelwick and see what their plans are. Maybe one of them can train me on how to protect you."

"By fighting?" I wasn't so sure how I felt about that. Sure, my mate was strong and powerful, but the thought of him actively being in harm's way because of me? That was a bit too much.

And suddenly I fully understood how Apollo felt about this for the first time.

"Marcus carries a sword. Perhaps I can carry a sword?"

According to Luan, Marcus used to be all but attached to his sword. It was like an extension of his arm. That kind of skill wasn't something that could be taught in one single lesson or even a year of them. It was impractical at best.

"You're going to stick out enough out there in the wild. I think a sword would really draw attention to you."

"All the quicker that you will be found by this asshole alpha then."

I hadn't considered that. In a way it would make him the bait, which had my stomach roiling. But also? He was right. It would make this end earlier, and the earlier the better.

I laughed, imagining him trying to blend in while yielding a sword. "Not sure it's going to work out that way." Although it could.

"Let me call Tomas and see what he thinks." I loved that my mate was now reaching out to others more. I never wanted him to change who he was. It wasn't about that. It was about him being happy and connected in the way he wanted to be.

I went up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, mate. You're not going to regret this." Please let that be the truth. "I'm scared too. But once it's over, we can move on with our lives and truly prepare for our child's arrival."

It would be nice to be able to run out to the farmer's market without having to weigh the pros and cons of going, without looking at the safety risks and ultimately deciding it could wait until another week. To be able to run out for ice cream or visit a friend. Heck, just going to Steelwick to get cinnamon rolls would be fabulous. And we would have all of that and more once we got this over with.

Did I wish we'd done it before I was pregnant? Of course I did. But that didn't happen, and waiting was no longer an option.

He nodded. "You're right, of course."

I winked at him. "Don't you forget it."