Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Helen arrived at Lady Caroline Lowell's lavish estate outside London with anticipation. If she did well over the next few nights of play, she could leave this life behind her once and for all.

Or, at least, any future time spent at the tables would be for pleasure only, not for profit.

Helen couldn't deny that she had found freedom in this life, away from the stifling proprietary of polite society. And, of course, she had never been welcome in such lauded homes as this as a mere wife with little to no connections.

Now, she was invited to some of the most scandalous parties thrown by the ton, attended by the fast set who lived life without a care, except to explore and indulge all the pleasures that life had to offer.

Helen knew she had other options. She could even find herself a protector, if that is what she desired. Or, live like Amelia, flitting from one alliance to another.

But the thought did not appeal to her as much as the draw of independence. She did not want to be cast aside when someone younger, or more alluring came along. The thought brought up too many uncomfortable memories.

Unfortunately, she was somewhat reserved with her affections, and now it was rare for the men she met to make any advances her way, anticipating the rejection she had shown in the past.

Although, Helen had never really been tempted by any of them, to tell the truth.

A pair of startling blue eyes flashed in her memory, as they had stared down at her the other night outside the Palais.

It was impossible to deny, she was attracted to Captain Starling.

If only he hadn't been so … infuriatingly sure of himself.

Helen suspected she had denied him simply to enjoy the look of surprise on his face.

As she was shown up to her room by one of the many waiting footmen, Helen noticed that some of the guests were already engaged in enjoying the delights on offer. It seemed the wine was flowing freely, and inhibitions were to be left at the door.

Lady Caroline always threw the most scandalous house parties of the season.

Amelia would be arriving soon, and Helen looked forward to seeing her friend's expression when she saw the finished dress they had chosen together.

It was Helen's one extravagance, fashion. Never would she wear anything that did not make her feel beautiful again.

The memory of her husband's tightfistedness surfaced. James had kept Helen on a tight allowance, always criticising her for purchasing a new bonnet or gown. Always deeming her vain, too immodest. Too… everything.

Meanwhile, his second family had seemingly wanted for nothing. The other woman had been dressed in the finest black silks and lace when she appeared in mourning at the solicitor's office that dreadful day.

No. never again would she apologise or ask for anything from a man.

Make herself small, so that they could feel big.

Damn the lot of them.

Helen took refreshments in her room as her lady's maid unpacked with brisk efficiency, watching the late arrivals through the window of her second-story bedroom as she leisurely sipped a cup of tea.

Here came Lord and Lady Dunworth, their well-sprung carriage rolling up to the front of the house piled high with suitcases. Then, of course, Mr Barton, who was a staple at such occasions.

A smile broke her face as she watched Amelia descend her conveyance, accompanied by two ridiculously handsome footmen. She had been invited to sing for the gathering, and Helen looked forward to her performance. Once Amelia had been a famous actress and celebrated soprano, but now she was retired from the stage and only sang for the most exclusive events.

Then, Lord Holsen pulled up the drive, his blade-like nose preceded him from the carriage, and Helen chided herself for the uncharitable thought, as he had been so kind as to owe her six thousand pounds from their last encounter at the tables.

Another man followed him out from the carriage, a tall black beaver hat obscuring his features, an ebony cane dangling from an arm as he tugged on his gloves momentarily, before glancing up at the facade of the house.

Helen almost jumped back from the window in shock, as she recognised the dark blond hair curling at the high points of his collar, those arresting azure eyes flicking momentarily in her direction.

Calming her breath, Helen reminded herself Starling couldn't see her, despite that it felt like his gaze had sought her out, almost instinctively.

What in the blazes was Captain Starling doing attending this party? Helen had never seen him in Lady Caroline's company before.

Her mind racing, along with her pulse, Helen determined to seek out Amelia at her earliest convenience.

She needed her friend to steady her, she realised with a hint of annoyance.

Drat the man.

Too much rested on this weekend's outcome to allow him to get under her skin.