Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

It must have been more than an hour later, but still Helen couldn't find the strength to stand up from the couch and leave Captain Starling's townhouse.

The fire had almost burned itself out, and the lamp in the corner was growing dim, the flame guttering, flickering vainly in the air, just like her supposed dreams.

Helen shivered, cold all of a sudden, but she did not move to retrieve her coat. Instead, she slipped her feet out of her slippers and drew her knees up against her body, hugging herself against the fierce surge of loneliness that burned in her breast.

She knew then that the only heat she truly craved was the warmth of her lover's embrace. The fierce regard for her that shone in Starling's eyes whenever they landed on her.

What in the blazes was she thinking? Did she really imagine that moving to Bath, spending her funds on a fancy townhouse and pretty dresses would suddenly fill the hole in her that had done nothing but widen, gaping now like a wound, in the years since her husband's passing?

Upstairs, there was a man who had just told her he loved her.

Not asked her to change, or marry, or give up her freedoms. No.

All he asked was to be in her presence. Have her affection.

There was more, she knew that. But Helen had never given him the time to say anything of importance during their encounters.

It was as if she had purposely kept Starling at bay, kept him as like a paper cut out of a man, instead of giving him the chance to show her who he really was.

Should she leap into the void, or stay chained to the ledge? It was safe here, but she knew with sudden certainty that there would never be anyone like Starling for her ever again.

What would Amelia do? Helen wondered idly. But in truth, it mattered not.

No. What would Helen do? That was the only question of importance.

As she watched the coals in the brazier crumble in on themselves, flaring and then dimming to a soft red glow, she made her resolution.

Helen padded down the strange passage until she spied a door with a hint of light glowing along the bottom. Pushing it open, she found herself at the entrance to a bedroom, a shadowy figure seated in a chair before an unlit hearth. A single candle burning on a table to one side.

"Starling," she whispered, moving closer. Hesitant now.

Would he still send her away?

His profile turned slightly in her direction, but he said nothing.

Gathering her courage, Helen drew herself up tall, raising her chin and coming to stand next to the chair.

She reached out, placing her trembling palm down on one broad shoulder, biting her lip as she waited for the rejection she felt sure was coming.

But instead, he raised his hand and covered hers with his, warming her frigid fingers with his heat.

Waiting. He was waiting for her.

Helen cleared her throat. "I have decided on my prize," she murmured, squeezing his firm flesh with her fingers.

"And what will you claim?" he responded, voice raw as he finally looked up at her.

"You," Helen whispered, her heart beating fit to burst from her chest as she finally admitted her true desire. "I choose you, Colin."

He sighed roughly, but said nothing, the tension palpably leaving his body under her palm.

"Will you come with me to Bath?"

For what seemed an eternity, they stared at each other, neither daring to move, lest they break the spell.

"Oh, thank Christ," he murmured at last, lurching to his feet and dragging her into his arms, clutching her tight to his chest as he fitted her head beneath his chin.

Holding her tight, the thud of his heart as loud as her own as it echoed against her cheek.

Helen smiled, then relaxed against him. She drew the spicy scent of him deep into her lungs as her body melted against his.

She had never before won something so dear, nor would she again.