Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Helen was taking an early morning turn around the lavish and fragrant gardens when she spotted Lord Holsen appear at the foot of the path.

She had craved a moment alone to gather her thoughts in the aftermath of her shocking indiscretion.

Shockingly wonderful.

She sighed, straightening her shoulders as she pretended to study the small folly that crumbled elegantly in the centre of the rose gardens.

"Mrs Montrose, I am so glad I caught you," huffed the man as he drew alongside her.

His colour was high, and Helen wondered what had put the man in such a state, after all, it was hardly past noon. Not time enough yet to be in one's cups.

She carefully clasped her hands at her waist, waiting calmly for the man to continue. She did not usually find herself in conversation with Lord Holsen away from the tables as they had little else in common, and she could not imagine what he might have to say to her.

The lord swiped at his forehead with a lacy handkerchief, and Helen watched the motion with a small frown.

Something was wrong, she felt it in her gut.

"Can I assist you with something, my lord? Perhaps you are looking for Lady Caroline? I had heard that the afternoon entertainment will start with a game of lawn bowls after luncheon."

"No, no, I was looking for you." He glanced over his shoulder, then back at her, and Helen felt her stomach twist, that deep-down intuition making itself known.

"I have something I need to confide in you," Lord Holsen muttered as he slipped a hand inside his waistcoat and rocked on his heels. "I had debated whether or not I should tell you, but I find my conscience outweighs my sense of propriety in this case."

"Is that so?" said Helen carefully, her eyes narrowing.

"I have observed you keeping company with a certain…Captain," he said, his mouth twisting with something like a facsimile of pity.

"Is that so?" repeated Helen, keeping her tone mild.

Inside, her heart sped up. Who else had noticed her interest in the man?

"It has come to my attention that he is an agent of mischief, a proverbial cat amongst the pigeons," Holsen said, leaning close in a conspiratorial manner.

Helen bit back a smile.

Oh, you wouldn't believe the sort of mischief the man could get up to, she thought to herself.

Instead, she raised a brow questioningly.

Holsen frowned in her direction. "I heard him mention you by name. Quite by accident, I assure you. But, it was rather ominous what else was said."

"And what exactly was said?" asked Helen slowly, her pulse picking up as her senses pricked with foreboding.

"He was talking to someone, I know not who, about a seeming plot to discredit you. Paint you as dishonest, perhaps even cheating at cards."

Helen blinked, stunned at the idea. It was utterly preposterous.

"You heard him say that? That he is going to set me up somehow?"

Holsen pursed his lips, nodding. "Yes. Quite. That is exactly what I heard."

He looked around again, then reached for her hand.

Helen steeled herself not to flinch. Why was she always so unsettled by Lord Holsen's manner?

"Of course, I don't believe it. But I can only imagine the damage that could be done to your reputation, the strain it would place on you if word got around that you were somehow gaming the table."

Helen pulled her hand firmly from his grip, her heart careening in her breast as she absorbed the meaning behind his words.

Ruined. She would be ruined.

All her outstanding winnings could be withheld, perhaps there would even be a case to sue her for what had already been paid.

It mattered not that she was innocent, it only mattered what those in power chose to believe. And it would be in a lot of powerful men's interest to have her completely discredited.

She raised her chin, flashing Holsen a strained smile. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I don't know how to repay you."

Something flickered in the older man's gaze, and Helen knew before he opened his mouth what would come next.

"Oh, I am sure you could think of something, my dear. After all, I am in your debt, and now you are - in a manner of speaking - in mine."

"Of course, I completely understand," said Helen, swallowing hard against the tight panic in her throat.

It was to be blackmail then. Pure and simple.

She should have known better than to let her guard down.

Bloody men. To hell with the lot of them.

Helen quickly made her way to Amelia's rooms using the back passages. She had no wish to come across another guest in the state she was in.

With every step, she turned over Lord Holsen's words in her mind, searching for the slightest nuances.

Whichever way she looked at it, she had been betrayed.

By Starling, certainly. By Holsen, it seemed, opportunistically. By unknown forces that she should have known would come for her sooner or later.

She was a woman in a man's world. What else did she expect, really?

A hysterical gasp of laughter escaped her throat as she wavered on her feet, the passage appeared to recede before her as she reached out with a trembling hand to steady herself against the wall.

One breath in, one breath out.

Helen had survived disaster before, she could do it again.

She needed to find Amelia. Her friend would know what to do.

Gathering her anger to buoy her up, Helen straightened and marched on down the passage.

Finally, the rage was making itself known.

Buggering blasted-

Damn him . Damn Captain Starling and his mischievous glinting eyes that promised so much. Damn his hands and his mouth that had her trembling for him just hours ago.

Goddamn her stupid heart for leaping in her chest at the thought of him, of seeing him again. Even now.

Even now, after what she had just learned.

Helen was weak. She had let herself have…. desires. More than those of the flesh.

Desires of the heart.

Her stupid heart had secretly thought there was something more behind his carnal interest in her. That she had found someone who saw her for who she was inside.

That might even want her. All of her.

She should have never taken him to her bed again. It was folly the first time.

Pure insanity, the second.

The worst of it, if Helen was honest with herself, was that she would do it again. They were not finished yet.

A small part of her frantically held onto a scrap of hope. That it was all a mistake, that Holsen was lying.

Please, oh please, let him be lying about Starling.

Finally, just as her sense was threatening to escape her completely, she found herself at Amelia's door and she knocked, hoping that her friend was inside.

A sweet voice called her to enter, and Helen stumbled through the door gratefully, throwing herself into Amelia's arms with a gasp.

Slowly, as her friend rubbed her back in soothing circles, Helen calmed, her ragged breaths evening out into deep sighs.

"What is it, dearest?" asked Amelia with concern, pulling back and leading Helen to sit beside her on the couch.

"Oh, it is too terrible," Helen whispered, dashing away the tears that threatened to spill at the thought of what she had just learned.

Gritting her teeth, she explained what Holsen had told her, watching as Amelia's face darkened with growing anger.

"He did what?" Amelia cried, springing to her feet and stomping one dainty foot on the carpet.

Helen bit back a small smile at the display of ire, beyond grateful that she had someone on her side.

"We will return to London immediately," declared Amelia, moving to the bell and ringing for her maid.

"But what about your performance?" asked Helen, watching her with alarm.

Amelia shrugged. "It will merely whet their appetites for me if I disappear mysteriously."

She stared off into the distance, her mind already moving on to the plan at hand. "I will go and speak to Lady Caroline, she will stand behind you, and no one will dare question her opinion in public."

"But the story will get out, and then I will be ruined at the tables," murmured Helen, picking at the fabric of her skirts with frustration.

Amelia waved her hand dismissively. "And so what? You intended to retire anyway. Now you will merely do so a bit prematurely. Once you depart for Bath, the scandal will die down as soon as another catches the tons interest."

Helen pouted, as petulant as a child at the thought of leaving under a cloud of scandal. "Why should I run? I have done nothing wrong!"

A sad smile flickered over Amelia's face, and she stepped close to clasp Helen's hand in a tight squeeze. "I know. I know. But it would be for the best."

"And what of Captain Starling?" asked Helen.

Amelia flashed her a surprised look from under her lashes. "What of him?"

"Well, erm…" Helen scanned the room, desperately searching for the words to frame her thoughts.

Amelia's brows rose, as her lips quirked. "Would you like me to have him painfully dispatched? I assure you I know just the right men for the job…"

"What? No, I-"

"I am just teasing, sweeting," Amelia huffed, planting her hands on her hips. "But I assure you I will get to the bottom of this. If he is guilty of such a level of deceit towards you, he will have to deal with me."

Helen rose wordlessly and wrapped her arms around Amelia, hugging her tight.

"Thank you," she whispered, seating herself once more and letting Amelia take charge of the situation.

It was a strange feeling, to know that she was not alone, after all.

But wonderful too.