Chapter Twelve

Dinah felt a part of her wither inside at the look she saw on Drake's face, not to mention the dismissive tone in his voice. She froze as she watched him leave the townhouse, and her gut told her it was very likely he had just left her life.

Now, she needed to learn the reason why.

She knew he had been with Sophie all morning and went to Sophie's office, not bothering to knock. Upon entering, she saw the grim look on her friend's face. The small grain of hope she had clung to instantly evaporated.

Moving to stand in front of the desk where Sophie sat, Dinah asked, "What happened with Drake?"

Tears welled in Sophie's eyes. "It is all my fault." She swallowed hard. "I offered Captain Andrews the position Mr. Barnes had held, wanting him to help me in running Neptune Shipping. Yes, he knows nothing about running a business, but neither did I when I wed Josiah. My husband taught me all I needed to know. With the Captain's life experience, though, I believe he could be a valuable asset to my company. He is intelligent. Bold. Decisive. With what I could teach him—coupled with his own personal knowledge—I think him the ideal replacement."

"But he turned you down," Dinah said dully.

"Not at first. He told me he wished to think about it, and I would have thought less of him if he did not want to ponder such a huge change in his circumstances."

Sophie met her gaze. "Then I made a terrible mistake, Dinah. I mentioned that I had spoken to you about this job offer."

Understanding dawned within her. "Drake is a proud man," she observed. "He believed you extended the offer because of me. Not because he was the right man for the position."

Sophie nodded wearily. "Yes, I am afraid so. Both he and James are cut from the same cloth. They are capable men who have stood on their own for their entire lives. Your captain thought I was asking him to take on the position not because I thought him qualified but because I did it as a favor to you. Or worse. That we had concocted this scheme between us."

She recalled when Sophie had offered Drake command of Vesta. How he had lacked in confidence, not certain he was up to the job. Dinah had encouraged him then and would have encouraged him now.

But it was too late. She had lost him. Forever.

"I am so sorry, Dinah," Sophie apologized. "A mere slip of my tongue—something which had not even factored into my decision—changed everything. I am hoping after a day or two, Captain Andrews will have time to ponder the situation further and even change his mind."

She shook her head sadly. "No, he will not do so. He is a very proud man. As it is, it would have been difficult for him to have given up his life at sea. It is all he knows. Besides, even if he were to take the opportunity you provided to him, it did not necessarily mean good things for the two of us."

When Sophie started to protest, Dinah held up a hand. "No, I told you that my priority must always be my girls. Even over my own happiness. A widowed duchess wedding a sea captain would be wholly inappropriate in the eyes of Polite Society. I have always lived for my girls, and I must continue to do so."

Dinah did not say just how empty her life would be without Drake in it, especially after the last of her girls did wed and leave the nest. She only wished they had had a proper goodbye. A final farewell kiss that she could remember for the rest of her life.

Going around the desk, she embraced Sophie. "Do not blame yourself for any of this. I won't let you." Dinah wiped away a falling tear. "But I reserve the right to cry on your shoulder every now and then for what I have lost."

Sophie took Dinah's hands in hers. "Just because you have lost your captain, it does not mean you still cannot find happiness with someone else."

Gazing steadily at her friend, Dinah asked, "Would you be happy with anyone other than James?"

Tears filled Sophie's eyes. "No," she whispered.

"Neither would I. At least I had a brief window of pure joy. I experienced what it was like to love and be loved. It gave me insight into what Pippa and Georgina now have with their husbands. More than anything, I am committed to seeing the rest of my girls make love matches."

Sophie looked at her helplessly. "How will you go on, Dinah?"

Resolve filled her. "As I always have. From the time I was ten and seven, I have gone it alone." She smiled wistfully. "But I will never truly be alone, because I have the girls, along with you and James."

She stepped away. "If you will excuse me now, I need some time to myself."

Dinah went to the gardens, sitting in the gazebo, surrounded by her memories of Drake.

*

Drake shaved andthen dressed for the day, his heart heavier than it ever had been. Misery poured through him, giving him an idea what the rest of his life would be like without Dinah in it. It had been two days since he had last seen her. Two days since he had ended what was between them.

Today, he would see her again at the funeral for Mr. Barnes. Dinah had once called Drake a coward when he attempted to walk away from her. She must think so little of him already, but he was determined to show up to this funeral and honor Mr. Barnes' memory.

Having had a couple of days to himself, he had done nothing but think. Part of him believed he had cut off his own nose to spite his face in turning down the Duchess of Seaton's offer to replace Mr. Barnes at Neptune Shipping. He still did not think he was the right man for the position. He also knew in his heart he was not the right man for Dinah, either. Theirs had been a brief interlude, two lonely souls coming together, despite their different stations in society, finding love. Drake would love Dinah Strong every day for the rest of his life.

Even he knew, however, that they were not meant to last. He should have kept his distance emotionally and merely taught her what she needed to know to go into her next marriage and find physical satisfaction. It had been a mistake on his part to become involved with her. To love her. He would suffer for that error the rest of his life.

He slipped into the coat of his captain's uniform and once again consulted the note the duchess had sent to him, informing Drake of the time and place of Mr. Barnes' funeral.

Leaving Vesta, he walked along the wharf and then turned north. After a few blocks, he found a hansom cab and took it to the church where the service would be held, seeing the Seaton ducal carriage standing in front of the house of worship. He arrived just as the service was starting and moved down the aisle, slipping into a pew about halfway from the front. He looked about, recognizing a few faces from the warehouse and shipping offices, but his gaze lingered on the front row. The Duke and Duchess of Seaton sat with a woman.

But there was no Dinah present.

He relaxed, thankful he would not have to see her. It made sense, her not attending. She had not truly known Mr. Barnes or anyone at Neptune Shipping. Drake wasn't surprised because, for the most part, women did not attend funerals often. The Duchess of Seaton's attendance merely spoke to the unusual kind of woman that she was, as well as to her close working relationship to Mr. Barnes.

Drake became lost in thought before realizing the service had concluded. He rose, as the others did, and began making his way down the aisle once more. The duchess had not written of any burial plans, and he supposed they would be private.

Pushing open the door, he exited the church, looking about for transportation back to the wharf. When he heard someone call his name, he turned, seeing it was Neptune Shipping's warehouse manager. They engaged in a brief conversation.

By the time it ended, Drake saw the Duke and Duchess of Seaton had emerged from the church, James escorting his wife and the deceased's sister. The duchess did not glance in his direction, but James most certainly did. He could see the disappointment written across his friend's face. He realized in turning down the position at Neptune Shipping, it had set into motion a series of events. Not only had his warm relationship with his employer changed, but James would take the side of his wife over his oldest friend.

Drake couldn't blame James. It was only natural. Dinah was a part of the Strong family, the one which James now headed. Someone James saw on a regular basis, along with his sisters and cousins. It had not struck him before that in pushing Dinah away, he would also lose James in the process. He decided he would complete his upcoming voyage on Vesta, but once he returned to England, he would seek employment elsewhere.

The only problem was that Neptune Shipping and Strong Shipping Lines were the largest employers in the industry in Great Britain. Then again, because he had worked for such a large line for so many years, it might prove easier for him to find another ship with a different company.

His gaze met that of his friend's, and Drake nodded brusquely, turning away and striding down the street. He decided to walk back to his ship. Though it was a long way, it would take up time in his empty day.

Once he arrived back at the docks, he stepped into The Falconer, a popular tavern. It was in this very tavern that he and James had been drinking when his friend began to learn of his origins.

Drake decided to lose himself in drink—and a woman.

He entered The Falconer, which was only partially full at this time of the afternoon. Business would pick up as day turned into evening. He couldn't remember the last meal he had eaten, so he ordered a bowl of stew, along with a loaf of bread and a large tankard of ale.

A comely woman brought him his food and drink, lingering, flirting with him. He let her know he would be available once he finished off his meal and attacked it with false gusto. Drake only managed to get down half of the greasy stew, and it set hard in his belly. He ate a few bites of the bread and drained the tankard, calling for another one, and then a third.

By now, the ale had loosened him up, and he winked at the barmaid. She returned to his table, telling him to meet her in the alley next to the tavern.

He gave her a coin, one that covered both his meal and the tupping they would do, and left. Standing in the alley, memories flooded him of all the times he and Dinah had been creative, making love anywhere but a bed. The thought of pressing a stranger against this wall and pounding into her caused a wave of nausea to strike him. Drake vomited the meal and ale he had just consumed and fled back to his ship.

When he reached it, he hurried up the gangplank, nodding at the sailor on watch. A handful of men rotated to guard Vesta when she was in port.

Making his way to his quarters, he opened the door. Much to his surprise, James Strong sat in the chair that had once been his.

"What the bloody hell are you doing in my chair?" he demanded.

James rose. "Forgive me, Captain Andrews, for taking your seat." His friend moved to sit in the only remaining chair in the cabin.

"I didn't ask you here, much less to sit," Drake said stubbornly.

"Well, you should have," James roared back, startling Drake. "I always knew you were thick-headed, Drake Andrews, but you have outdone yourself in foolishness and stupidity."

He reined in his temper, thinking this would most likely be the final conversation he had with the man he considered to be his brother.

"I am sorry you feel that way, Your Grace," he said formally. "You are living your own life now. You are no longer involved in nor responsible for mine."

"Do you know how bloody miserable Dinah has been the past two days?" James asked. "Of course, she thinks she is hiding it, putting on a brave face, but I know you broke her heart, Drake."

Anger surged through him. "Well, she broke mine, too," he shouted, tears stinging his eyes.

"Why did you turn down Sophie's offer?" James asked quietly.

His pride prickled at the question. "I am not qualified in any imaginable way to help your wife run Neptune Shipping, and you know it."

"You thought the same about being a ship's captain, and yet look how successful you have become," James pointed out. His friend paused. "You know how much you mean to me, Drake. How much I believe in you. I think you can do anything. Sophie does, as well. She has told me of the conversations the two of you have had. You would bring more to the position Mr. Barnes held than he ever could. Yes, Sophie knows you are raw and inexperienced as far as the business side of things go, but she is willing to teach you, just as Josiah Grant taught her."

James glared at Drake. "I want whatever is best for my wife—and that means if she wants you to help her run Neptune Shipping, then she will have it."

He laughed harshly. "Just because you're a duke now, you cannot force me to give up Vesta. Besides, even if I took Mr. Barnes' place and learned all your duchess could teach me, it still would not mean I could be with Dinah."

"Why?" James asked, shaking his head. "You are perfect for one another."

Drake collapsed on his bunk, worn out physically and emotionally. "She is a duchess. A bloody duchess, James. I am so far beneath her. Besides, more than she loves me, she loves those girls. She would die for them. She has seen her twins wed for love, and she wants that for the rest of them. But there wouldn't be a man in her world—your world now—that would even consider a marriage with one of them if Dinah were tied to me."

James opened his mouth to speak and closed it, seeming to finally understand the dilemma Drake and Dinah had found themselves in.

"So you see, it is impossible for us to be together. For me to make Dinah my wife," he continued. "This way, if I go out to sea and am gone for a year or two, she can move forward with her life. Even find a man to wed, one the ton would give their blessing to."

"No," his friend said. "You are the one who doesn't understand. I am a duke, Drake. A duke! You cannot begin to comprehend the power I now wield. There are but a handful of dukes in England, and we hold sway over others. I am only beginning to discover just what a force I am, now that I bear the title of Duke of Seaton. How by a few words, I can compel others."

James smiled at him. "I would never use this power for evil or personal gain. But will it override anything Polite Society has to say? Absolutely. Would there be gossip with Dinah wedding you? Of course. Gossip is the lifeblood of the ton, but it would not keep you from accompanying Dinah to social events, nor would it hurt my sisters or cousins."

"How, James?" he demanded. "How could such a mismatched marriage not cause a scandal?"

"Because I am a duke," James said simply. "Because Dinah's girls are sisters and cousins to a duke. Everyone wants to be connected to a duke, Drake. Everyone. It doesn't hurt that the girls all have healthy dowries, as well as their blood relationship to me. And I can tell you now, those four will be awfully choosy when it comes to marriage, especially after having seen how happy Pippa and Georgie are in the matches they have made for themselves. They will not settle for anything less than love, just as I did.

"Just as you should do."

Drake felt the wind go out of him. Could it be true? Could James, by merely being a duke, simply trample over any gossip? He had no idea of the inner workings of the world his friend now lived in, but he doubted James would say these things unless they were true. Yet Dinah had always been part of Polite Society, and she had thought their relationship would cause trouble.

"Dinah seemed to believe if our relationship became known, it would damage her girls' chances of making a suitable match."

"Dinah was wed to my father. He was not a loving man by any means, Drake. I am certain he never showed her the true power he wielded. He might not have understood it himself." James' eyes gleamed. "But I do. I have also come to understand that family is everything. I love my sisters and cousins. I will make certain they have every opportunity to make the matches they desire. I have already made a few friends amongst the ton, Drake. Friends who will stand with me and support your union to Dinah, simply because I ask them to do so. Friends who would squash any gossip they heard about the two of you."

Hope sprang within Drake. Would it be possible to have everything he desired? Dinah as his wife. Being a stepfather to her girls. And changing the direction of his working life, from that of a sea captain to a man of business. Ever since Sophie had dangled the opportunity of a new career before him, Drake realized he had aspirations beyond his life now, ambitions he had never known lay dormant within him. If the possibility to remake himself professionally were possible, he might be a more presentable husband to Dinah. Need for her burned within him, not merely of a sexual nature, but the need to make her his constant companion. To be friend and lover and husband to the woman he loved would be life altering.

"What might you ask these friends of yours to do?" he asked, having not a clue as to how James might vanquish any gossip if Drake did wed Dinah.

"There is something known as the cut direct in Polite Society. If an influential member of the ton gives an individual the cut direct, then that person is ostracized. They are no longer invited to any social affairs. Their entire family is lumped with them. They are, in effect, banished to the country, never to be heard from again. If anyone deems to go against me—and your marriage to Dinah—then I have only to threaten to do this, and all gossip will die. No one seeks to alienate a duke, Drake." James smiled. "You should be glad such a powerful man calls you his brother. You are—and always will be—family to me. I would die for you."

A warmth spread through him, his dreams now within reach. "I would do the same for you, James. And I believe you. I believe I can have what I thought to be impossible, thanks to you."

His friend engulfed him in a bear hug. "Then we should go home to those we love, Drake."

He pulled away. "Do you think Dinah will still have me?"

"Why don't we go and find out?"