20. A Round Peg in a Square Hole

Chapter Twenty

A ROUND PEG IN A SQUARE HOLE

Indy

B urrowing deeper into my nest, I keep my eyes closed a little longer, secretly breathing in Nash’s scent as I stir. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Probably not long enough.”

I open one eye and peer up at him over a wad of fleece. “You smell really good.”

“Okay…”

“You always smell good but it’s stronger in here.” I can’t help but smile at his tone.

It’s cute how unsure he is at times.

Small spaces, big alpha, lots of sweat and pheromones.

I’m sure that’s what he’s thinking, based on other conversations we’ve had. He doesn’t seem to be able to wrap his head around how much I love his scent even though he’s not my match. He’s mine, though, and that’s why I want to bathe in his calm and soothing scent as much as Clay’s sweet one, or Bram’s spicy one. That big idiot might be my match, but all three of them are my favorite, and they’re vital to me.

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.” I giggle a little as I wiggle around. “Thank you for staying with me.”

His cheeks go pink as he nods. “Do you need anything? Food, something to drink maybe?”

“No, I’m pretty content actually.”

“Good,” he says with a smile too pretty to be on a big scary alpha. “I’ll have to work on that pretty part, though.”

My blush must match his as I ask, “Why?”

“Should be perfectly content. I’ll take pretty as a win for now, all considering, but I’d really like to see you perfectly content for a long fucking time.”

“Oh.” I hold eye contact, searching those grass green orbs for any hesitance, any indication that he might be unsure about how much he means that, but there’s nothing other than sincerity looking back at me. Which, of course is the exact second my body decides now is the perfect time to let him know what that does to me.

My eyes go wide and my body tenses as I perfume, my scent easily filling the small space in a matter of seconds.

Oh my god. This is so embarrassing, the way I seemingly have no control over that.

With a grunt, his head falls back against the wall, his eyes sliding shut as he breathes deeply. “Indy, what?—“

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, quickly sitting up. “I didn’t mean, I don’t know why, I just, that keeps happening and?—“

“Don’t apologize.” Nash’s voice is strained and I can see him bite his lip. “Really, sweetheart. It’s normal in these kinds of situations.”

I clear my throat. Normal or not, I’m starting to feel a little out of control with how frequently that happens around these men. “It’s just, I’ve never, I’m not used to…”

My words trail off and he lifts his head to look at me, but before Nash can ask the questions he obviously has, there’s a knock on the closet door.

“Are you decent in there?”

I roll my eyes as Nash does the same with a smile. “You can come in, Clay.”

“But are you decent?”

“Yes,” he grunts as the door opens.

Clayton smiles wide as he holds up a bag and nods toward the bedroom. “Good. Come out here so we can get indecent.”

My alpha’s head lolls to the side and he lets out a sigh as he looks at me. “You want to go out there with that idiot?”

Looking between them a few times, I nervously chew the inside of my cheek.

Playfulness aside, I know what Clayton’s asking.

Neither of them have pressured me into anything from the very first time we met. They’ve allowed everything to happen on my timeline, save for throwing me to the wolves so to speak when I was left alone with Bramley, but even that wasn’t forced. I could have walked out of the butcher shop and followed them, or gone back to the house sooner. They’ve let me call all of the shots, and right now isn’t any different.

He’s half serious, but if I told Clay and Nash that I was only saying I wanted to see them naked because I was angry and ready to prove some kind of point, they’d go along with that. They might be hurt, but they would, I know that. The thing is, though, I think I’m more ready than I realize.

I’m not sure where something like that would lead, based on my inexperience with anything organic and natural, but I’m attracted to them. I have been from the start, and feeling how much they care about me, seeing it in everything they do for me, and how they treat me, I can’t help but feel like I’m falling. I want the closeness that comes with that.

I want everything that comes with falling for the men I’m supposed to be with.

After a few moments of really thinking this through, a slow smile spreads across my face and I nod. “I think I do.”

“You’re sure?” I nod again and Nash sighs, then gets to his feet and holds out his hand. “I can’t promise you’re going to like anything that’s about to happen, it’s fifty-fifty when it comes to Clay, but I can guarantee it’ll be interesting.”

I let Nash pull me up then lead me out of the nest, my eyes fixed on my hand in his.

I’ll never get used to that.

How something so insignificant, so ordinary as holding hands with someone, makes me feel. I feel seen, important, and for the first time in my life, I feel worthy.

Of what, I’m not entirely sure, but that’s the only way to describe it.

I guess I feel like I’m worthy of being treated the way these men treat me. Which is a little sad since they haven’t done anything that other people, other alphas and omegas, in this kind of situation would consider remarkable, but I do. Their kindness and acceptance, their obvious need to care for me and keep me safe, those things are priceless in my eyes, and they mean more to me than I think they realize.

I think that’s why I feel worthy of being treated that way, of being happy, and free.

It may not be anything that would move someone else to tears, but to me, these men are everything I didn’t allow myself to dream of because all they’ve done for me makes me feel safe, and it makes me feel human.

“Okay,” Clayton says as he stands on the other side of the bed and sets the bag down. “How do you want to do this?”

I frown. “Do what?”

“Well, see us naked, of course.”

My stomach flips and I cover it with my free hand, squeezing Nash’s hand as he climbs onto the bed and leans back against the headboard. I wasn’t really expecting that, not right now. Even though I was literally just thinking about it, Clay’s words still catch me off guard, and have my nerves taking flight. I figured I sped things up some with my behavior, but I didn’t think it would be happening right now after taking a nap in my nest. My nest that smells so much like these two I almost immediately perfumed when I woke up.

No, I had to wait until my alpha said all of five words to me, then my body went crazy and told him more than he needed to know at that exact second.

I need to learn how to control that better. Without scent blockers, I imagine it can be pretty dangerous out in the general public, but constantly perfuming around my mates—I think it’s okay for me to say that more confidently now—no matter where we are, and just because they happen to be mine, is probably pretty dangerous in a different way.

One I might actually enjoy.

Even still, I have to figure that out, as well as some other things that I’m sure will come up now that I’m completely free of any medication. I already feel like a ticking time bomb, waiting for my first natural heat to creep up on me. I don’t need to add perfuming like crazy to the list of things I’m attempting to tackle as an omega out in the wild.

I nearly roll my eyes at that.

It’s true, I’m free, and I’m able to try living a life similar to the one my mother described, but I have no idea what I’m doing, and telling that to these two isn’t an option.

Not yet, anyway.

If I could avoid telling them about my time at the ranch forever, I would, but I know that’s not going to be possible, and I have a feeling someone would eventually put two and two together. Most likely Bramley because he’s a jerk, and he’s smart, and he could use the fact that I didn’t tell them as a reason to continue being a dick.

He’d love that, I have no doubt.

“Indy,” Clayton says as I refocus on his face. “We don’t have to do this, or anything, if you aren’t ready or don’t want to.”

“I know.” My frown deepens for a second but then I throw caution to the wind, climb onto the bed, and position myself right between Nash’s legs with a small smile on my face.

My belly rolls this time, my nerves and excitement swirling in my stomach as my heart starts to beat a little faster.

I thought it was ridiculous when my mother described how she felt around my father. The butterflies in her stomach, the way it was like her heart almost skipped a beat whenever he looked at her. She told me being around him was the most thrilling, most nerve wracking few months of her life, and the longer they were together, the more she craved that feeling.

At the time, I thought she was insane.

How could she, or anyone else, feel that way about a male let alone an alpha?

It was absurd, and something I couldn’t wrap my head around, but I understand it now. And when she used the word craved, it sounded silly but there isn’t another word in my vocabulary to describe how badly I want to spend every waking second with my mates.

Even the jackass who tried to convince me he doesn’t want anything to do with me.

“I just wanted to be sure,” Clay gives me that beautiful smile as he visibly relaxes. “You were almost scowling. It was a gorgeous scowl, but I wasn’t entirely sure what it meant.”

“Bramley,” Nash and I both say, and I can’t help but giggle. “I don’t mean to bring him up but?—“

“Oh, pretty girl, it’s impossible not to.” Clay winks at me then hops up on the bed facing me. “Especially when being naked is involved.”

My cheeks grow hot and I swallow hard, watching as my beta scoots until we’re almost knee to knee.

Oh boy.

“I don’t want you to think, well, I mean, he isn’t here?—“

“Indy, honey, it’s fine.” Nash sits up a little and I feel his chest against my back. “Believe us when we say, we understand, and it’s fine.”

I take a deep breath but end up holding it in as Nash hesitantly rests his hands on my thighs. He’s seriously so sweet, but little things like that are a combination of his sweetness, and a heat this man keeps under wraps most of the time. And it does all kinds of things to me when I catch a glimpse of it.

“Really?” I ask on a long exhale. I had no idea how much I needed to be touched like this.

It isn’t necessarily sexual, even though I can feel myself heading in that direction, but the gentle affection is something I didn’t know I needed, and the more it happens, the more I want it to.

I look at Clayton, whose smile has grown while he emphatically nods, then glance over my shoulder at Nash. “I don’t want you to…” I can’t even finish saying it because of how it makes me feel, but I don’t have to, not when my alpha says it for me.

“Think your mind is going to be elsewhere?” I nod and he gives me a shy smile. “We won’t. We love Bram, don’t get me wrong, and he’s on our minds a lot so we expect you to be in the same boat.” Then, right before my eyes, I see a flash of the alpha dominance I’m used to, but I’m not the least bit afraid. No, instead I perfume like an absolute needy mess. I squeeze my thighs together as Nash pushes his nose into my hair until I can feel his lips against my neck, then he growls, “But I promise, none of us are going to give that asshat a second thought for the next few hours.”

Oh my god.

Well, I can officially say I was wrong about everything I thought about men and alphas prior to waking up in Obsidian Falls. So very, very wrong, and I’m just going to have to let my scent fly at this point because stopping it is going to be impossible if Nash keeps this up.

“God, I love it when he gets all growly.”

Smiling slowly, I let my eyes find Clay’s, then instinctively lick my lips when I realize he’s staring at us with a hooded gaze and hungry expression. Inexperienced or not, I know what that means, and since I don’t think he even wants to blink, I know I’m right.

Clayton scoots a little closer, stretching his legs out and crossing them over Nash’s, his fingers carefully brushing over my knees before his palms are flush against them.

“You are in charge, Indigo Rae. We are both dying to do all kinds of things to you, with you, but you’re the one who gets to call the shots. If this is okay, this is as far as we’ll go until you say otherwise, and in the meantime, you tell us what you want.”

His hands slide up toward Nash’s as my alpha nuzzles the side of my neck, and it takes everything in me not to moan my response. “This is good. I’m very okay with this.”

Clayton glances over my shoulder, probably exchanging some unspoken words with Nash before he gives me that blinding smile. “Well then, our beautiful omega, what would you like to happen next?”

My cheeks are going to be red forever.

The compliments, the touching, the way I can smell both of them stronger than I’ve yet to, all of it is going to keep me bright red, and I honestly don’t care. But I’ve never been in a situation like this before, and I’m not exactly sure where to start.

Which my beta seems to pick up on because of what he does next.

Clay lifts his hands and holds them out as if to say hold on, I got this, then reaches behind his head and in one swift move, he’s sitting in front of me without a shirt on.

Wow.

It’s the only word that comes to mind, and I can’t even say it out loud. I’m thinking it, though. Repeatedly. Because Clay is covered from his throat all the way to the top of his sweatpants, and shoulders down to his fingers, in tattoos. I mean covered. While all of his artwork is beautiful, and something I’m sure I’ll want to really admire later on, it’s the lean muscles that have me wowing.

He’s not as big as Nash or Bram, betas aren’t from what he said, but mine is definitely tall, and very much covered in muscle. Add in his shaggy blond hair that curls around his ears and the nape of his neck, those gorgeous, deep brown eyes that are always full of mischief, and a smile that could easily take over the world, my beta is lovely.

And he really is mine.

Without any hesitation or asking for permission, I raise my hands to Clayton’s throat and the second my fingers trail down that tattoo toward his collarbones, I see him hold his breath.

My eyes dart to his and I pause, wondering if this is okay, or if I should only be looking without touching, but when I go to lift my hands, Clay quickly grabs my wrists and keeps them in place.

“I don’t want you to stop, you just got started. I wasn’t expecting that right away, that’s all.”

“Is it okay? For me to touch you?”

While keeping eye contact, he raises my hands and softly kisses the knuckles on both before setting them back on his chest. “Pretty girl, you can do anything you want with any part of me, and I’ll just ask you for more.”

“We are yours, Indy,” Nash whispers against my neck, my alpha’s nose still firmly pressed just below my ear. His hands slowly move toward my knee then they slide back up to my hips, giving them a squeeze before he wraps his arms around me. “Mind, body, heart, and soul. Yours for the taking.”

Tears spring to my eyes but I blink them away. How anyone could feel that way about me, how they could mean something like that with a level of honesty I’m definitely not used to, has me ready to cry my heart out.

Even the men who tried to breed me, the many alphas over the years who used me until it felt like there was nothing left, I knew they didn’t actually want me. Just like I knew that if I got pregnant, they wouldn’t love me, they’d only take me away from the ranch because I was useful to them.

For a few perfect strangers who were trying to do a good deed, to do the right thing, to change my way of thinking, to change my entire life, it’s both humbling and overwhelming in the best possible way.

I think it’s safe to say I’m very much in love with my mates, even if I couldn’t get the words out now if I tried.

I’ll have to settle for showing them instead.

I really hope I don’t screw this up.

Reaching up with one hand, I slide my fingers into Nash’s auburn hair, tilting my head slightly when I feel his lips ghost along the column of my throat. My other hand starts to wander, flattening over Clay’s right pec, tracing the definition then sliding across his chest to the left. I repeat the action on that side, his fair skin warm yet covered in goosebumps, watching my beta closely while he watches me. His eyes are bouncing between them, a few moments on the way I’m touching him then a few more on the way my fingers are buried in my alpha’s hair.

Hardly anything is happening, very little compared to what could be, but being able to explore, to literally feel them out at my own pace, is truly thrilling.

It’s empowering.

It makes me feel strong. I feel like I’m in control for the first time, and that makes me feel brave.

Tracing his pecs with my fingertips, they lightly touch their way toward Clay’s nipple, my curiosity at an all time high because his are pierced, and when I brush over the little bar, he sucks in a sharp breath and I see him shiver.

“Should I not do that?”

He lifts his gaze, and good god, everything inside me melts.

“Depends,” he grunts.

I do it again with a small grin. “On what?”

“How far you want this to go, pretty girl. Keep it up and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop either of us.”

My palm slides down Clayton’s stomach, following the ripples of his abs until I hit the top of his sweats. I give the strings a playful tug as I ask, “Either of you?”

“Mhm,” Nash grunts in my ear nuzzling behind it as a strange sound starts coming from him. “Hard to control ourselves.”

The sound grows as he tightens his arms around my waist, his chest almost vibrating against my back, and just as I’m about to ask him what he’s doing, Nash once again reads my mind.

“Not sure, sweetheart, but I fucking like it.”

“I’m toast,” Clay grunts as he starts to back up. “Nashy is fucking purring, you smell like something I need to eat, and these sweats have gotten incredibly tight all of the sudden.”

Worried I did something wrong, I straightened up a bit, my hand falling from Nash’s hair. I frown at my beta, no clue what he’s doing as he puts too much space between us, my anxiety spiking because now I’m convinced I did something wrong.

I don’t want space.

Not from them, not anymore.

We don’t have to do anything else, Clay can put his clothes back on if he wants, but I want him to come back, to be close to me, to be touching me in some way no matter the intent behind it. I want them both close right now, and if I messed up in some way, I’d almost rather he tell me so I can fix it, than go back to how things were before that.

A few more seconds of whatever is happening now, and I’ll run right to my nest, close myself inside, and lock the door.

But… I don’t want that. Not really. I want to stay with Nash and Clay, and I?—

“Indigo.”

I turn to my alpha as he grunts my name, looking for some sort of explanation or direction but instead of either of those things, he gives me something else entirely.

Nash brushes his lips against mine as he cups my cheek, my heart nearly stopping at the feel of how soft they are, his green eyes a shade darker as he stares.

He’s asking permission.

God, how that makes my tattered heart soar once again over how perfect these men are.

With a subtle nod, I lean toward him, my eyes fluttering closed as Nash gently presses his lips to mine.

It’s hesitant and restrained, cautious, but my first real kiss is perfect.

Soft and sweet, my alpha’s kiss is so different from his rough and intimidating exterior. He’s confident but he’s not smothering or controlling, not like the other kisses I’ve experienced. Nash is sure of himself but he’s letting me decide how this goes, too, even as he slides his fingers into my hair, threading them through the streak of red, and tilts his head.

So, I do my best to deepen the kiss.

I part my lips for him, allowing my alpha to nip at the lower one, relishing in the way his purring grows louder.

That’s because of me.

I don’t know what it really means, or exactly why Nash is doing it, but I’m positive it’s a good thing because I really like it, and I’m almost sure I’m the one who’s causing it.

With a growl, Nash slowly pulls back, taking a deep breath as he presses his forehead against mine. “Gotta stop, sweetheart. Just for now, but I have to.”

“Okay,” I say with a smile, lifting my hand to his cheek then smoothing my thumb under the bottom of his glasses. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“I expect nothing less.”

“So…” I pause, waiting for Nash to look me in the eye. “When do I get to see you without a shirt on?”

He barks out a laugh as I giggle, but it’s cut short the second my alpha leans back long enough to lose his white t-shirt, momentarily rendering me speechless when he leans further for me to get a good look.

And do I get a good look.

Nash is another big, muscly, tattooed man, but he is very different from Clay.

He’s tan, the deeper tone of his skin showing through the countless tattoos, and the definition of his body is a bit more pronounced than my beta. He also has chest hair, whereas Clayton only has a little around his belly button that starts a strip that goes directly into his pants. Nash has it all over both pecs, his stomach, and it also disappears into the top of his pants. It’s not ridiculously obvious or thick, but I can see it, and I like it.

Which, of course, is exactly where my hands go.

His chest pumps a little faster as I run my fingers over it, quickly rising and falling against my palm, faster still when I graze his nipples then travel down over his stomach the same way I did with Clayton.

Beautiful.

They are both so beautiful, and I’m not only lucky that they seem to reciprocate how I feel despite what our shared, stupid, bullheaded alpha does, they’re phenomenal to look at, too.

“He’s not as pretty as you, but Nashy is a sight to behold.”

Nodding, I turn toward Clay’s voice, ready to agree with him, but all of the words in my head disappear, and never make it to my tongue. Nope, I just freeze, my eyes go wide, and my jaw drops.

My beta—our beta—is sitting where he was before, but now… Now, he’s totally, completely, absolutely naked. He is also super erect, and not the least bit shy about it. Not that he has anything to be shy about, I’ve seen alpha dicks shorter than his so he should be very proud of himself, but wow, I was not expecting to turn around and see that.

“Bear trap,” he says with a smile as he leans back on his elbow and clasps his hands over his stomach. “Big one.”

No kidding.

From what he said, male betas are not built the same as male alphas. Lack of a knot is the biggest difference, but Clayton made it sound like their dicks were teeny and their balls were almost nonexistent.

That is not the case for my beta, and if he looks like this when he’s aroused, I can only imagine how Nash or Bram look, and I definitely don’t need to be thinking about any of this because I’m pretty sure we’re all going to be suffocated by my scent if I do. I don’t think I’ve stopped perfuming since I started touching them.

“Pardon?” I ask his erection.

Which makes both Nash and Clayton chuckle. “Bear trap, pretty girl.”

“Is that what you named it?”

Now they’re full on laughing, and even though it makes me smile, I can’t stop staring at the dick that’s staring back at me.

“ No ,” my beta says. “I wasn’t talking about him , but now I think I do need to give him a name just so you don’t call my boner it ever again.”

“Sorry.” My eyes flick to his and I try like hell to keep them there. “I wasn’t sure what you were talking about.”

Clayton arches a brow, his expression changing from playful to skeptical so quickly my stomach drops, then he nods toward his leg.

He gives me time to register what I’m looking at, probably waiting for some horrible reaction or a ton of questions. I do have questions, I can’t deny that, but he just answered one of them now that I can clearly make the connection.

Clay isn’t wearing his prosthetic.

He was when he came in so he must have taken it off right along with his pants.

I knew about it already, he was very upfront when we first started spending time together, but I think it was more for himself than it was for me. Did it make me curious? Yes, I wanted to know what happened to him that called for the need to amputate, but that’s about as far as things went. I didn’t, and still don’t, care if any of them are missing pieces because they are mine, and there isn’t anything in the world that will change that.

“We were hunting,” Clayton says after a few seconds. “In the woods, close to some remote cabin.” Nash shifts around uncomfortably behind me as a heaviness settles over them. “It was dark, we found our target, but our target found us, too. We scattered, took off to get the hell out of dodge but I stepped right into a fucking bear trap. Had to shoot my fucking leg off with a sniper rifle to get out of it.”

My eyes widen. “You shot your leg off?”

“Yeah.” Clay shrugs. “The trap was chained to a tree, there was no way I was getting out of that, and we were about to become the hunted so I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“Did Mona do it?”

“Her and Rex.”

“When did it happen?” I lean forward, looking at the marbled skin that sits about three inches below his knee, the reddish-pink patches of scar tissue that almost blend into the remaining tattoos.

I see Clayton look to Nash out of my peripheral vision, then back to me when he says, “A year, maybe? You’ve been with us, what, three months now?”

My face heats but I nod. “I think that’s what Mona said.”

“So, yeah, it’s been about a year since I left a part of me upstate forever.” He shifts around a little as I reach out, assuming I’m trying to touch the part that’s left. “I don’t think you’re going to want to?—“

Instead, I point to an absolutely gorgeous tattoo of a tiger on his thigh, the front paw down over the top of his knee, the colors so vibrant it looks like he just had it done. “I like this.”

Clayton immediately frowns. “What?”

“This.” I trace backwards from the paw, following the cat’s spine up his thigh, all the way to the tip of the tail that curves over his hip toward his abdomen. “It’s gorgeous.”

“Okay…”

I roll my eyes and get braver than I’ve yet to, crawling toward Clay and settling right between his naked thighs. “That’s not what you’re supposed to say when someone compliments you.”

“No?” He grins as I go up on my knees and cup his cheeks. “What does one say, pretty girl?”

“Thank you,” I say just before I press my lips to his, my heart hammering away the entire time.

Clayton kisses exactly like his personality; playful, sweet, passionate, and full of mischief.

Feeling that big, beautiful smile against my lips in between licks and sucks, oh my goodness I could probably get off just by kissing Nash and Clay.

That would be one hell of a way to have my first genuine orgasm.

“Nash,” Clayton grunts in between kisses. “Nash, take your clothes off. Hurry.”

With a smile that matches his, I shake my head then sit back on my feet. “You kiss me and want him naked? Is that how it works with mates?”

Both of them stop whatever they’re doing to stare at me, I can feel Nash’s eyes boring into the back of my head as Clay’s go comically wide.

“Mates?”

I nod slowly then glance back at my alpha. “Yes. That’s what we are, right? Or what we’re officially going to be, anyway, which makes it already true in my opinion.”

Taking a deep breath, I look from one to the other a few times, worried once again that I screwed this up. I hate feeling like this, not knowing how to navigate relationships and love and all of that stuff I missed out on by being at the ranch. I’m not sure how much better I’d be at it if I’d have grown up somewhere like Obsidian Falls, but I’d probably know when it is and isn’t appropriate to refer to your mates as your mates when you technically aren’t bonded yet.

Can I even call them that while Bramley refuses to accept or acknowledge the truth of our situation? Does his resistance change things outside of him and I?

Oh, good god, I finally messed everything up.

The few seconds of total silence doesn’t really help me think otherwise.

When Nash breaks it, it doesn’t change.

“You want to call us that?” he asks as he gently touches my arm. “Your mates?”

Nodding slowly, I opt for sticking with the truth since I’m still full of lies. “That’s what you are, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, why wouldn’t I call you that? Unless I’m not supposed to? I don’t really know how all of this works, especially when you factor in the giant crabass who’s off pouting somewhere.”

Clay snorts and Nash smirks. “You are fucking perfect for us, honey, and we don’t want you calling us anything but yours.”

“So, yes, call us your mates.” I turn to my beta, who has managed to stay erect this entire time. “Your mates, your boy toys, your well hung sex machines. Call us whatever you want, pretty girl, as long as we’re yours.” His smile widens as he cocks his head to the side. “But unofficially, officially, we are your mates, with or without Bramley’s bite.”

“Okay,” I say as my cheeks flame. I still have so much to learn.

“Now that all of that is out of the way.” Clayton rolls to his side, showing off his ass and the adorable dimples above it, then grabs the bag he brought in earlier. “We are getting down to business in one way or another.”

I arch a brow as I finally relax, noting that Nash has taken off his socks, and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Trying to ignore that is not an easy task, but when my beta starts pulling things out of the plastic bag, I manage to forget nearly everything that’s ever happened to me.

“We have a variety of items here for your choosing, Indigo Rae.” He sits up and sets three boxes down in front of me. “And just so you know, I told Nash to get naked so you’d feel more comfortable doing the same. These won’t work as well if you’re not.”

I just blink, then do it again.

“You want me to get naked?”

Both of them nod, Nash blushing despite his confidence. “Only if you’re comfortable with it. We aren’t trying to…”

Slowly, with my heart pounding in my ears, I pull my hoodie up over my head, taking my t-shirt with it before I throw them on the floor.

I spent my entire life naked.

Clothes were a luxury, a rarity, and something that honestly took me a few days of being conscious to get used to when I woke up here, but right now, I’m actually nervous about two men looking at me without anything on. Another first I can give my pack, but knowing that we’re meant to be together, that they want this because they care about me and don’t view me as a piece of meat, it changes things in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

Right up until I realize they both went from sweet and supportive to hungry the second my breasts came out. It’s hard to feel self conscious when I have two men drooling over me.

That doesn’t make me nervous.

That makes me feel powerful.

So much so, I go up on my knees again, pushing my sweats down over my hips then wiggle free until I’m in nothing by my underwear.

“I need you to understand what we’re doing here because right now, seeing how wet you are from hardly anything at all,” Nash blurts then swallows hard, his gaze aimed right at my cotton covered pussy that is very wet. “It’s going to be harder than I thought to keep myself under control, but I will. I will because I love you, and your needs are always going to come before mine. Clayton, you need to hurry up and explain before I do something I’m going to regret.”

Unsure if I heard him right, and unable to ask, I just blink back my tears and smile, then turn when Clay clears his throat.

“I was right when I thought you haven’t really had any control over things in your own life? That you maybe never had any to begin with?”

I nod.

He’s mentioned that a time or two, and he’s scary accurate with his assessment.

“That’s what this is about, pretty girl.” For the first time since we met, my beta looks a little anxious himself, but he takes a deep breath and continues. “Loving you enough to help you take control back, that’s what we’re trying to do. It might be one of the most unorthodox ways of doing it, but it’s the only way I know how, and I, we, really want to do this for you, Indy.”

Smiling like an idiot, I swipe at the few tears that escape down my cheek, then wait because if I try to talk, I’m going to end up bawling, and that is going to ruin whatever it is my beta and alpha are trying to do for me.

Unnecessarily, I might add, because they’ve done more than anyone else ever has, and they don’t need to do anything else because they have my heart already.

And once I realize what Clayton laid out, they almost have my lungs, too, as I choke on nothing and start coughing.

“I told you this was going to freak her out,” Nash says as he starts rubbing my back.

It’s a thoughtful gesture, but being skin to skin right now, when everyone is in various states of undress and our beta just set out three different strap on dildos, well, I can honestly say that the amount of slick soaking my panties is more than I’ve ever produced before.

“Nonsense.” Clay waves him off then starts pointing to the boxes. “These two have harnesses. They both have straps that would come up over your hips but this one”—the first box—“also has straps that come down around your thighs. It’s pretty standard. This one”—the second—“doesn’t have those, and that’s why it’s double sided. This part would be inside me, and that part would be inside you, that’s how it stays in place in addition to the straps.”

I blink about a million times as I look at the double sided one, the ribbed pieces intimidating as hell because of the sheer size of them. “I don’t think…” Then what he said sinks in. “Wait, what?”

“Which part?”

“About who has what, where.”

Clay grins. “Me and you, pretty girl. I bought these so you could fuck me while Nash watches. You will have one hundred percent control, and both of us will be at your mercy, but I wanted to make sure you were able to enjoy yourself in the process.”

I stand corrected.

The amount of slick that has now destroyed my panties and is running down my thighs is a new record for me.

“Fuck,” Nash grunts and I hear a thud just as I turn toward him. “I was wrong. She likes the idea, Clay. A lot.”

Nodding, I can’t help by agreeing, just like I can’t help the way I lick my lips as Nash grabs his barely contained erection through his jeans.

I am going to be such a mess when this is all said and done.

“That’s my girl,” my beta groans, drawing my attention back to him. “You do like the idea of fucking me, don’t you?”

Yep, a huge, slippery mess.

“I think this is the one for a first time.” Clayton points to the third box, and that’s when I realize he’s openly stroking himself.

Slowly, almost painstakingly slow, he strokes down his shaft then back up to the swollen head, running his thumb through the precum collecting at the tip before he repeats the action. He squeezes his cock at the base and holds tightly, going back to what he was saying a few moments ago.

“This one, there are no straps. This part”—an almost egg shaped piece—“goes inside that soaking wet pussy of yours while this”—the long piece it curves into—“is what you’ll be fucking me with. It stays in place using your muscles, and the curve is not only going to hit your g-spot, it’s going to rub against your clit with each thrust.” Then Clayton grins. “And it vibrates.”

Can someone orgasm from words alone? Is that a thing? I don’t know what a g-spot is, nor do I totally understand the purpose of a vibrating dildo, but I like listening to Clay talk about it all. Especially when I hear another grunt from behind me and turn to see that Nash must like it, too.

His jeans are down his thighs, his cock is out, it’s very big, and very hard, and his hand is practically choking the life out of his knot.

Oh my god, and … “Is your cock pierced?”

My alpha nods as he runs his fingers along the underside of his shaft and all the little barbells there. “It’s called a Jacob’s ladder, sweetheart. One day, you’re going to love it.”

I love it now, and I really want to touch it, but if someone or something doesn’t touch me, I might melt into a puddle of slick with nothing but my panties left behind.

“You ache, don’t you, Indy?”

“Yes,” I whisper as I watch Nash a little longer. “So much.”

“Are you ready to fix it? A temporary fix until you’re ready for us?”

I nod, my mouth practically watering as Clay magically appears next to Nash, and I get to see them both pumping their cocks in their hands.

Never, and I do mean never, have I been truly turned on. Even when I was forced into heat, my body didn’t feel the way it does now, and I can’t tell if I’m thrilled by it, or pissed off because nothing is?—

“Nashy is going to put it inside of you, pretty girl.” My eyes snap to Clayton, who is still smiling his ass off. “If you’re ok with it, of course.”

God, yes.

I don’t really care which one of them puts it inside of me as long as one of them is putting something inside me because I’m going to explode if I stay empty much longer.

“Okay.”

That purring sound gets loud again the second I agree, and it isn’t exactly helping my situation right now.

Especially when I find out that I have to wait for Clay to go wash the strap on, then open a new bottle of lube since he doesn’t make his own the way I do. He hands the dildo to Nash, who looks it over for a second before walking toward me on his knees, his cock leading the charge the entire way.

He looks me up and down, a mix of pride and heat in those grass green orbs, and when he pauses, I know what he wants without him having to say a word.

I hook my thumbs in the top of my panties then roll them down, taking them off quickly before I lean back on my elbows and spread my legs wide. Clayton groans and Nash growls, but neither of them move. Not for another few seconds, they just stare at my drenched pussy like it’s the holy grail.

Talk about making someone feel powerful.

Everything I experienced before, I knew how terrible and wrong it was then, but bearing myself to two men I love, men that I truly do crave, and having them obviously crave me in return, that’s an incredible feeling. One I can easily become addicted to.

That feeling is exactly what drives me to say what I do without putting any thought into it at all.

“Put it inside my pussy, alpha.” Nash’s gaze swings to mine and he growls, but he slowly starts to move. Too slow for my liking. “Now, alpha.”

His fingers graze my clit as that purring hits an entirely new volume, the sound accompanied by a low, throaty growl. Nash slides the end of the dildo up and down my slit, dipping it inside just enough to gather my slick before he brings it up to his mouth. He holds my stare as he licks one side of the oval shaped end, his eyes flaring briefly as he holds it out to Clayton to do the same.

I have to say, watching these two lick my slick off of that thing is the hottest moment of my life, and it only gets hotter when Nash lowers it, gathers some more of my wetness, then rubs my clit with that silky toy.

My head falls back as I moan, my hips lifting of their own accord, my pussy nearly gushing from a few simple strokes. Then it does when my alpha abruptly pushes the bulbous end inside of me, immediately hitting something that has my belly flipping.

“Jesus,” I say breathlessly, now staring up at Nash as he offers me his hand. “I, that, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”

He smiles as he cups my cheeks then leans in until his lips are almost touching mine. “You say thank you, alpha , then you ask for more.”

But he doesn’t give me the chance.

Instead, Nash kisses the life out of me, his tongue licking at the seam of my lips before it pushes inside, tangling with mine in a way that has me gasping for air. Especially when I can clearly taste myself on him.

“You have any questions, or you need help, you tell me.” He kisses me one more time, sweeter and less aggressive before Nash drops his hands and backs up toward the headboard. “Clayton will be vocal, but he might not be coherent. I will be, until I won’t.”

I giggle a little as I watch him get settled, wrapping his hand around his knot while he stares at me.

Fucking powerful stuff.

“Hold out your hand, pretty girl.” Clay gets on his knees in front of me and holds out the bottle of lube. He squeezes a decent amount of the water based liquid into my hand, leaning in to kiss me as he does. “Now, stroke.”

My eyes flutter closed as he kisses my jaw, then my neck, sucking a little on my collarbone as his big hand closes around mine. He helps me coat the dildo, thoroughly covering the entire thing, showing me how to stroke and twist, pump and squeeze as if it was his cock in my hand.

I really wish it was, I wish I had a hand on each of them, but that is something I won’t do without permission, and I don’t think that’s what this is about.

Clay gives me one more kiss before turning to get on all fours, his extremely firm ass lifted toward me while each of his hands plant on either side of Nash’s hips. He winks at me over his shoulder, flashing me a final smile, and then, as I watch in awe, my alpha grabs the back of his head, burying his fingers in his shaggy blond hair as he guides Clay to his waiting cock.

There are no words to describe what that does to me, how incredibly turned on I am watching my beta give Nash a blowjob while waiting for me to fuck him in the ass.

So, I decide to give him what he wants for putting on such a great show for me while I do.

Clay pauses as I put the tip of the dildo against the tight ring of muscle, and so do I, if only for a moment because I don’t want to hurt him.

“He takes me, honey,” Nash groans. “You aren’t going to hurt him, not when he rides my cock as regularly as he does.”

That did it.

On instinct, my hips roll in desperate need of friction, and the tip slips between Clayton’s asscheeks, slowly pushing inside as I do it again.

He resumes sucking Nash off, his head bobbing in time with each uncoordinated thrust. It feels amazing, the way the oval piece inside of me is almost stroking what must be my g-spot, the way it rubs against my clit as I watch more and more of it disappear into my beta.

I reach out and run my hands over his ass, smoothing up the fleshy globes to grab Clayton’s hips, and loving the contrast between his soft skin and hard muscle. He moans around Nash’s cock, and I look up, our eyes locking as he pushes Clay down further, lifting to meet his mouth.

Which is the exact moment I discover the purpose of the vibrations.

My alpha grins and lifts the hand I couldn’t see, obviously pressing a button that switches that feature on and the second he does, my body tries to fold in half, and sends the strap-on all the way inside Clayton until his ass is flush against my hips.

“Fuck,” he hisses as he releases Nash with a loud pop. He glances back at me, my beta now a mind reader, too, because I was worried that was a bad thing. “No, pretty girl, I loved it, and I want more.”

“Okay,” I moan, the threads of pleasure coiling low in my belly from knowing he likes this, that they are both enjoying what’s happening.

The vibrations intensify as I pump into my beta, finally finding a rhythm as I get closer and closer to the edge. Every rub of my clit sends heat licking through my veins, Clayton’s mumbled curse words, Nash’s groans of pleasure fueling every move. My body lurches forward again, my pussy spasming around the toy, my fingers digging into Clay’s hips. I let my chin drop to my chest as I jerk forward again, my body almost moving on its own, each thrust bringing my beta’s ass against my pelvis, the dildo fucking us both in a way that has my belly tightening.

“Oh my god,” I moan, unsure how much longer I’m going to be able to do this without coming. “Oh, oh, I think?—“

“Tell me,” Nash grunts, drawing my attention to him with the gravel of his voice. “Tell me what you want, honey.”

I shake my head as I slam into Clay hard, the first wave of my orgasm taking hold.

“Fuck,” he hisses. “Indy, honey, you have to?—“

“I want to come,” I practically sob. “Oh, my god, I want that.”

My beta pushes back against me, meeting me thrust for thrust, fucking himself on me while I continue fucking him. And that’s when I notice what he’s doing.

Clayton is sucking Nash’s dick like it’s his favorite thing in the entire world, bobbing his head quickly in time with our movements. He’s bracing himself with his left hand but I don’t see his other one. That’s because that hand, the one that isn’t bearing his weight and keeping him upright, it’s underneath him, moving just as fast, and when I lean to the side, I can see that he’s jerking himself off.

Which is exactly what sends me over the edge.

I cry out as my orgasm shoots through every nerve in my body, lurching forward again, sending the heavily vibrating dildo deep into Clayton while I scream. I can feel myself gush, my muscles squeezing the bulbous piece tightly while I drench it in my release.

“Oh my god,” I moan, panting heavily as my legs start to shake.

I try to straighten up, a second wave of pleasure crashing through me and only heightening when I see Nash shove Clay down on his cock and lift his hips high, growling out his orgasm while he looks me in the eye.

My beta follows close behind, pushing back against me as his entire body locks up, yelling out his climax with a mouthful of Nash’s release, but it doesn’t stop him. Clayton keeps sucking, he keeps pumping his cock and I can see his muscles twitch with each spurt of cum.

Once it seems like I’ve finally stopped orgasming, and the vibrations have been turned off, I lose all the control I had over my body and all but collapse against my beta’s back.

I hear him chuckle, then swallow hard before what is obviously the sound of them kissing, and I love that because it’s adorable to watch but I can’t move. Not even an inch.

“You okay, pretty girl?”

I force myself to nod against him. “Great.”

“Can you move?”

“Nope.”

Nash chuckles as they start to shift a little. “I can come help, but it means I’ll be touching your naked body in multiple places.”

I appreciate that he’s giving me a heads up, but I couldn’t care less at the moment. Hell, I don’t think I’ll care ever again after this. “My boobs are on his back, and you stuck part of a dildo in my pussy. I’m good. Come fix me.”

They both let out a combination of a laugh, and a moan, and that sound is all the confirmation I need to know that I am, in fact, very much in love with my mates.

All of them, even the big dumb one who doesn’t want to get on the same page yet.

He will, though.

I’m going to make damn sure of it.