Chapter 15

Chapter 15

There was no need for the duke to have gone to so much trouble. She did not need gifts and nice things. She valued being treated well. Something he had been doing since they had met. She felt that her commitment was as deep as his was. The only difference was that he had the bravery to confess his secrets while hers kept her up at night.

She could not go into a marriage on lies. The problem was that she had learned from an early age that some things are better kept secret. She could remember when she had been six and had told her best friend a secret. It had been a small one. The friendship had ended soon after that. It had hurt her for years, shaped how she viewed relationships as a whole. The pain it would cause her to lose the duke was too great to risk.

Would it be so terrible to enjoy what we have? To not want to ruin it? She tried to find some justification for her actions. The duke had become quiet all of a sudden. Charlotte looked at him only to see that he had a murderous expression on his face.

"Your Grace, have I said something to displease you?" She was utterly confused.

"No, my lady." He looked like he was trying to regain control of his emotions. Charlotte wished she knew what had changed his demeanor so rapidly.

Does he already know what I keep from him and now it angers him that I do not confess? Charlotte thought.

"Let me show you what I have brought for us," he said, going under their table to retrieve a large woven basket. He lifted the lid and looked inside. First, he put a plate in the middle of the table. He put his hand in the basket, then the other to retrieve fruit to put on the plate.

Once the plate had a good selection, he moved on to the selection of cheeses. After that came the cakes and preserved meats. "May I serve you a selection, My Lady?" The duke asked before he went to unpack the cutlery.

"Thank you, Your Grace." She replied. She took note of how he enjoyed preparing a plate for her instead of doing it out of duty.

He might have a passion for food. It is one that might be viewed as more of a woman's activity. I do not care as long as it makes him happy and does not hurt anyone. Charlotte had decided before it was even discussed if her assumption was correct. She came to his defense, whether it was against others or herself. She would not allow him to be broken down.

"It is my pleasure, my lady. Some of theses are made by my cousins. Twins that went abroad and learned from the best there is. The Cheddar is strong and goes well with meat. The rest can be enjoyed on their own.

"Twins, Your Grace. That is unusual." Charlotte said, fascinated. She had only ever seen a set of identical twins once from afar. She had found it enthralling how there could be two people who looked so much alike.

"We actually have a few twins and triplets in our family," the duke informed her. She had put aside thoughts of children when she had realized the duke's condition. Now that it was clear that she might still have her family, she knew no end to her joy.

"That would be an adventure, I think, Your Grace. Raising more than one child at a time presents rather a challenge." Charlotte could not help but breach the conversation. She had a habit of wanting to clarify things and did not enjoy playing coy or hinting until she was blue in the face.

"I cannot promise that we would have children at all, My Lady. I am still to learn the full extent of any damage that may have been caused by the accident," he said with sadness.

"We will wait and see, Your Grace. I will be at your side despite any issues that come our way," Charlotte said with confidence.

"Brave words, My Lady. I wonder if your good intentions are thought out. I do not mean to offend you, My Lady. It is that I am well aware of how much children mean to women in particular. I do not want my shortcomings to rob you of the life you may have always dreamed of." There was a sadness she had not seen in him for some time.

"I was taught that words should be chosen carefully, Your Grace. I do not believe I have spoken words carelessly since I was a youth," Charlotte said, lifting her chin and looking into his eyes as he spoke.

"Would I be enough, My Lady? Just the two of us rattling around in that big house?" He said almost seeming to convince her that he was not good for her, that he could not possibly make her happy unless he gave her exactly what she wanted.

This did not sit well with her.

"Your Grace, of course I would like children. I adore children and find that they like being in my presence. We do not know yet if a family is possible or not. If only it were possible for a doctor to determine that beforehand. The point is that I wish to be here with you and care deeply for you. What that means is that whatever difficulties we face, we do so together. Your Grace, if it is a lightweight marriage that you seek, I can inform you now that is not going to happen with me," Charlotte said to make herself as a clear as he had earlier.

She heard the irritation in her own voice. It took her off guard that the subject made her so upset. Especially since it had not bothered her before.

Charlotte stood up to walk away. She needed to get more air into her lungs. She stood there not wanting to leave. The duke had stood up and then sat down when she had given an exasperating sigh and taken her seat again.

"I had hoped that your answer would be like the one you just gave, my lady," he said with a satisfied smile.

"I feel ashamed, Your Grace. I do not usually behave in such a manner. I do apologize." Charlotte said, sounding as though she was on the verge of tears.

"There is no need to apologize, My Lady. I did ask personal questions abruptly. I assure you, My Lady, my intention was for us to get to know one another even more. I have a very poor way of discussing how I feel or, or asking how someone feels about me." The duke said.

"It is quite alright, Your Grace." Charlotte said with a wobbly smile.

"No, it is not alright, My Lady. I care for you and wish only to protect you from getting hurt. Yet, I more often find a way to upset you. It is I who should apologize to you." He stood up again, and moved closer to her. By the time he had finished his sentence, he had her face cupped in his hands. "I will never hurt you willingly, my Lady."

He added and bent his head towards her. His mouth made contact with hers with only the slightest of pressure. It was tender and filled with the care his words spoke of.

Charlotte moved closer to him. She had the words to tell him how she felt, yet found they had no way of coming out. She put her hand up to a scar he had. It ran from his left eye and ended over his nose. She could only see it when she was this close to him.

"Does it still hurt, Your Grace?" She said, letting her thumb gently trace the line.

"Not anymore, my lady," he replied in a whisper. They sat there like that for longer than both of them could have thought possible. Only speaking occasionally. Nearly an hour later, they decided to try to go back to eating and small talk. Charlotte looked at the fountain that could be seen from where they were seated.

"I still think it kind of you to have given me that coin when we were here last, Your Grace. I hoped there might be a chance that I can replace it." Charlotte was sentimental and did not want to be the cause of him losing something that was precious to him.

"It did mean a lot to me, My Lady. The day I gave it to you, it gave it even more meaning to me. Seeing as you know my wish. Would it be impolite of me to ask what your wish was? Well, that is, if it has come true for you, My Lady." He seemed to take genuine interest in her instead of asking her questions just to carry the conversation.

She thought of the wish she had first had, to find love. Then she had wanted to wish away the part of her that loved. That day, when he had given her his prized coin, he had no way of knowing that his gesture of kindness had turned her heart away from the coldness she endured. She had given every person in her life every ounce of herself, and it had made her tired and jaded. He had been the one to find that last sliver of herself and nurture it back to health.

"I wished that someone would care for me with the same depth, and for as long as I would, Your Grace. I am not confident. I tell you my wish in hopes that it is so," Charlotte said even though it was a boundary overstepped. She had been taught that a lady does not ask for affection, she accepts it or rejects it.

"My Lady. I adore you with everything that I am. If it is not enough, then I shall strive every day to better it until it is even greater than how you care for me." The emotions were plain on his face. Charlotte could see that he was overwhelmed having to put his heart into words.

Charlotte was left speechless as tears blurred her vision of him. She wiped at them with a napkin and when she could see clearly, looked down to see the duke in front of her. He was down on one knee.

"Would you do the greatest honor, My Lady?" He said as he reached into his coat pocket. He held a small box in front of her and opened it. The ring inside winked at her as if to say; Say yes.

"Yes." She said as he scooped her into his arms. The unexpected close contact made Charlotte aware of how strong and tall the duke was. He carefully took her left hand and placed the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly and meant good fortune for their union.

"I cannot tell you how happy you have made me, My Lady," he said, cupping her face for a tender kiss. This time he showed more passion, yet asked instead of demanding. "There is just one small detail, My Lady," he said with a chuckle.

"What is it, Your Grace." Charlotte said as she tried to figure it out before it was said. Nothing she came up with did not scare her.

"Our families will be upset. We did not involve them. We shall have to do this again in their presence."

"Well, if that is the only concern, Your Grace. I shall gladly do it." Charlotte replied with a relieved laugh.