Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Nanny McCain had decided it was time to leave. She was expected in London soon and would have to start the journey soon in order to make it in time. She had already packed her belongings and stood dressed and ready.

"Oh, dear, do not look so sad. Are you not relieved to not have to play the harp so often?" she teased Charlotte, with a knowing smile. "Go have a lovely day in town, dear."

"I have to admit it was not my most favorite activity. I shall enjoy town though. And I shall miss you," Charlotte said when she had hugged the older woman. She disliked saying goodbye to anyone. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held on before letting the woman drink her tea. "Do you have to go so soon. Could you not stay just another few days?" Charlotte knew the answer. With her she would keep hope in every instance for as long as possible.

"As much as I have enjoyed my stay here, I have more people to see that cannot be put off. I shall write early next year," her nanny said, just as she had when she had been a child. More in a tone to soothe a child that had a nightmare than an adult woman.

"Please promise that you will," Charlotte said. "Even George has become so fond of you Nanny."

"That is a fine hound of superior breeding, dear girl," her nanny said with affection.

That morning, the carriage that had brought her there arrived to take her to her next destination. Charlotte had waved goodbye with a happy heart. She had felt tortured by this woman for years. Now, the thought of not seeing her so often, made her sadder than she could have thought she ever would be.

She had walked back into the house and had gone to find the duke. George had stood nearby to comfort her. She turned toward the house and picked him up to cuddle him and comfort her.

She found the duke at the old stables.

"Are you getting a horse, Your Grace?" Charlotte asked, perplexed.

"In a matter of speaking, My Lady." The duke said with humor.

Charlotte could barely look at the duke without memories of how he had held her flooding her mind. She had felt that she would be safe as long as she was near him. The moment they had shared went beyond just the fact that he trusted her and wanted to tell her, of all people. He had not hesitated for an instant when she had been in danger. Putting himself in harm's way to ensure her safety spoke volumes about the type of man he was.

She had felt since then that she owed him. When she had seen he needed help, she had acted without thinking. She had just wanted to repay him in a way and worried that he might find her ill mannered or worse, promiscuous.

"I must apologize, Your Grace. I did not mean to appear forward, or worse." She said the last part more quietly.

"What was that, My Lady?" He asked, leaning in closer to her.

"I said that I hope you do not think any worse of me, Your Grace." Charlotte said as she tried to be as honest as she could.

"I am confused, my lady," he replied, the confusion evident in his expression.

"That I took the liberty to fasten your shirt, Your Grace," she said, not bothering to make excuses.

"To be honest, My Lady. I wish at times that you would be more comfortable when in my company. I will never harm you, My Lady," the duke said in a soothing voice.

Charlotte was unsure how to answer him and was glad they had nearly arrived in town. It would mean she might be able to slip out of finding an answer. The carriage soon slowed to a stop. The duke looked out the window. When the carriage had stopped completely, he offered her his hand as the door to the carriage was opened. He moved to get out of the carriage first in order to help her out from the outside.

Charlotte smiled and happily stepped out to where there was more freedom of movement. When they had last visited town together, they had been met with whispers and little empathy. Charlotte turned to look around them and they had once again managed to assemble a crowd in their presence. This time, Charlotte enjoyed how there was a silence around them that rang in her ears.

They had more than enough to say the last time they were in town together. Now they were left speechless.

The duke did not even bother to look around. He kept his focus on Charlotte and little else. When people started to regain their composure and greet them, Charlotte could have chosen to ignore them. Instead, she returned their greeting in a warm manner. She had felt that she would not be robbed of who or how she was based on the treatment of others.

"Where would you like to go first, My Lady?" he asked as they moved through town.

"I am quite hungry, Your Grace." Charlotte answered as her stomach awakened for the day.

"I know just the place." He wore a happy grin. They strolled down the street and Charlotte looked over to see the duke looking down to his feet.

"Are you alright, Your Grace?" Charlotte asked, as she looked at him and felt confused by what he was doing.

"Yes, My Lady. I apologize. It is odd being myself again."

"I am sure, Your Grace," Charlotte stated with a look of understanding.

They spoke about each shop as they passed them, until they reached their destination.

"I hope this will do nicely, My Lady. My aunt used to meet with my parents once a week here. They have a very eccentric menu that suits every palate," the duke said. Charlotte took the seat he had pulled out for her and looked to where he had just sat down. He looked at her expectantly.

He is waiting for my response. He cares what I think! Charlotte thought, before her answer came to her.

"That is most considerate, Your Grace. This establishment is lovely. I would have liked to have had tea here with your family as well." Charlotte felt happiness bubble inside her at the joy her answer brought him.

"Do you know, My Lady? I have been thinking that perhaps it would be fitting to take you to a family dinner." He said it in such a way that told her he was sincere.

"That would be wonderful, Your Grace," Charlotte replied immediately.

"My sister is due back from Naples in the next few days. I will speak with her and then go to see my uncle. Once he has given his invitation, then we will dine there." He said this in such detail that Charlotte knew that he had thought of this before and planned it out.

Did it not mean that he was then proud of me? That he finds this courtship to be already successful and desires his family's involvement. Charlotte thought with a feeling close to euphoria.

The server soon came to take their order. He waited for her to decide instead of taking over. The other day at lunch had merely been a way for them to have enjoyed the best food on the menu. He was not as overbearing and insecure as most men had come across to her.

They had tried to control her, and she had the distinct feeling that her intelligence had almost insulted them. She had imagined herself with each suitor who had called when the time for courtship had been announced. Each one had quickly fallen short of even her lower expectations. With the duke, she felt that he valued the very things that made her who she was. It was more than she could ever have dreamed to have in a husband.

"I would like to order the same thank you," Charlotte replied to the question of what she would have to eat. She surprised him by giving him the option for them both. She wanted it to be a gesture of thanks for the way he treated her.

At first he had seemed distant and irritated. Soon it was obvious that he only wanted to be accepted, like most people wish to be. She still felt shame at how she must have looked to him when they had just met. She had simply not been told to expect a man in the condition he had been in. It had not repulsed her in the slightest.

The server left to take their order into the kitchen, leaving them alone to speak.

"What is your aunt like, Your Grace?" Charlotte asked once they were in their own company again.

"She is a very forward lady. Both in her thinking and in the way she is ahead of her time, My Lady," he answered proudly.

"How so, Your Grace?" Charlotte inquired and leaned in towards the duke, fascinated by his description of her.

"For one, My Lady, she has an impeccable mind for trade. I have seen her walk into establishments, mines and farms that looked lost. Within months of buying these places, she managed to make it work. Within three years, she would make a profit and move on to rescue the next."

"That is astounding, Your Grace. I hope she will be able to attend the family dinner. Though I hope I have not overstepped my mark in saying so, Your Grace," Charlotte said, tension making her voice softer.

"I would like very much for you to meet her. I shall have to find out if she has returned from Scotland yet," he said, and seemed to truly relish introducing her to his family. A true compliment, as he spoke so highly of his aunt.

"Please do, Your Grace. Is the uncertainty you speak of married to this aunt?" Charlotte said, to further the conversation.

"No. Sadly, her husband did not return from the war. I remember the day she received word.

"They had assured her that he had not suffered and that he had fought bravely, saved lives. She had been inconsolable at the time. My cousins had been what had taken her out of herself. As a mother, she takes the very best care of her children."

"She sounds as brave as your uncle had been, Your Grace," Charlotte said, feeling her throat tighten with emotion. She knew how it felt to lose a loved one so dear to you that it physically hurt your heart to hear of it. Charlotte had been tormented by memories of her mother. The happier times made a mockery of how little she had been able to cope on her own.

"Thank you for saying so, My Lady," the duke replied, in a voice that shook with emotion.

"You speak so fondly of your family, Your Grace. May I hear more about them?" Charlotte asked as their food arrived.

"You may, My Lady. If I am to be honest, I am unsure where to start," he said in a self derisive way.

"I hesitate to ask about individual members, Your Grace. I fear that I might ask about a person and cause you grief," Charlotte explained as she maneuvered her vegetables onto her fork.

He looked at her for a long while. The easy smile on his face, along with the look of awe made her pause and put her utensils down. She took a napkin and dabbed at her mouth.

"My father passed when I was twenty and my mother succumbed to her grief six months after he had passed. I have six aunts and three uncles. My mother's mother is still alive as well. Now that you know who I have lost, you may feel more free to speak, My Lady." He said that all with a fond smile, a way perhaps of showing that no offense was taken.

"I lost my mother when I was young, Your Grace. My father remarried too soon after her passing, to me at least. My family was in full support of their union and I was made to feel that I had been a jealous, heartless daughter. My stepmother and new stepsister did not like me."

"However could anybody not like you, My Lady?" He said with a look of genuine shock that bordered on comical. Charlotte tried to find a way to hide the fact that he had made her blush by looking at her plate and starting to eat again.

"That is a question I ask myself to this day, Your Grace. Not why would anybody not like me. Why do two people who have just met me dislike me so strongly?"

"I did not mean to cause you pain, my lady," he said with a look of anguish.

"You are not responsible for their insult, Your Grace," Charlotte replied.

He looked at her for a moment before returning to his meal. He still looked disturbed that he may have caused her emotional distress. It was a new feeling Charlotte found she could become accustomed to. Her family had long forgotten that she had emotions and opinions of her own.

"We should invite them to visit soon, My Lady. I imagine you must miss home and your father mentioned that you may want to bring your horse."

Charlotte nearly choked on the food she had just swallowed. As much as she would adore having Princess there with her, there was still the issue of her identity!

"I would have to see if my sister can travel. She has a difficult time getting to places, it causes her condition to worsen." Charlotte made an excuse for how she could prevent her sister from coming to her and being recognized.

I feel detestable, having to lie again. Worse still, to a man that shows me such care! Charlotte thought as her stomach lurched.

"Please would you, My Lady? I shall like to meet them. To also show that I am more than capable of taking care of you."

Charlotte knew that the longer she kept this secret, the more it would rip apart the trust they had built. He had asked for a fresh start, and it had been the perfect opportunity for her to have told him. The guilt had gone from a thorn in her side to an open wound.

"Of course, Your Grace," she said, and tried to enjoy her meal as much as she could.

I could tell him now! Yes, it would ruin our day and anger him but, then when my sister comes we could explain and he would see that we had meant no harm. Charlotte thought about it as she absent-mindedly ate her meal. She chewed at the food with such extra force that a toothache shot through her jaw. She had also just missed what the duke had been saying to her.

"Or would that be too many people, My Lady?" He finished his question.

"Would you please say that again, Your Grace? I believe I missed a few words," Charlotte requested apologetically.

"I thought we might travel abroad, My Lady. On the topic of your family coming to visit. Well, I had thought they may like to join us, perhaps. We might take the ferry. I have found it makes me less prone to travel sickness." He spoke patiently, repeating himself and showing consideration for her sisters' imagined frailty.

That would mean weeks, months, even! If my stepfamily joins us for so long, he will realize what we have done in a way that would seem like he was surrounded by traitors. Charlotte's mind raced in one part as the other fought to find calm words to reply to him with.

"The way you care for others is a rare and attractive quality, Your Grace," Charlotte said with her head cocked slightly to one side. Her mind and mouth had always had an extremely short pathway. She had said what was needed and not thought about what offense the truth would cause anyone. Her mind had become the one screaming the truth while her mouth was forced shut. What she had just said had been a rare moment she had allowed herself. She had not thought it out first and rehearsed it in her mind.

"Thank you, My Lady. Though I did not consider it attractive, I agree that I find that few people return the favor." He replied in a shy way. Charlotte wondered if he had not received many compliments throughout his lifetime.

"Would any of your family want to go along, Your Grace?" Charlotte asked. She would like to have a good amount of time to get to know them. "I am of the opinion that they will be so relieved to see your recovery that it will be the best voyage yet."

"That is a rather interesting proposition, My Lady. Our families would have the time to be properly acquainted and as you say, should be relieved I am this well. Then it is settled, My Lady. We are all going on a family voyage."