Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Charlotte gave thought to her next words before speaking. She had gone through times when close friends and relatives had not spoken to her for months due to her loose tongue.

"Your Grace has exceeded all my expectations. Furthermore, I feel most welcome being here," Charlotte said.

"I am very glad to hear that, My Lady," the duke said with a smile. Charlotte could not dismiss the notion that it seemed there was so much more he wanted to say.

"How do you find me, Your Grace?" Charlotte asked boldly. She knew this was a matter he would discuss with her father and not her.

"So much more than I expected." The duke surprised her by not only answering her brazen question, by answering the question with such charm.

"Your Grace." A man servant approached with a letter. The duke thanked him and broke the seal on the letter, then began reading aloud:

"To The Duke of Devonshire and Lady Bethany Wentworth.

I do hope this letter finds you well. I write out of concern for Lady Bethany's education. I have been responsible for her learning since birth. I therefore request that I may serve out my last duties to her before I retire. I do trust you will allow me to do so.

Nanny Abigail McCain"

The duke read the letter and then gave it to Charlotte. It had been addressed to him first, yet had more to do with her. "I do believe she misses you, My Lady," he said with a fond smile.

"I thought she would have been elated to be without me," she said looking down.

"I do not think that is possible for anyone to feel that way, My Lady," the duke said, in a tender way that made her heart almost burst with happiness. "I would very much like to invite your nanny here. I think perhaps seeing someone from home would bring you comfort and familiarity. That is only if it is your wish also, My Lady."

"It would be wonderful to see her, Your Grace. Knowing her, she may be more content to see the harp than me," she said with a humorous twinkle in her eye.

"I shall be sure to instruct someone to keep it hidden then. Though it is a pity, as you play like an angel, My Lady." He chuckled.

"Thank you, Your Grace." Charlotte said, not fully sure what to say or do next.

"I shall write back and confirm that we are expecting her, My Lady."

"That is good of you, Your Grace," she said.

"Think nothing of it, My Lady. May I escort you back to the estate?" Charlotte gave a nod and started to walk beside him. The balmy air carried Jasmin and Rose and made Char feel that wishes could come to fruition.

"What is she like, My Lady?" the duke asked.

"Strict. She means well and wants the best for me, Your Grace," Charlotte answered and then thought of her.

"Perhaps you were unruly as a child, My Lady," he teased.

"Hardly, Your Grace. I was a rather meek child." Charlotte enjoyed the fact that the duke was interested in who she was.

"That was not the impression I got on our first meeting, My Lady. I met you as a young girl… one who seemed to be rather spoiled," he said with a frown.

"Maybe I still am, Your Grace," Charlotte replied, and was reminded that he wanted to get to know Bethany and not her.

He knows! Why is he asking the same questions? Charlotte's mind raced as she fell silent.

"My Lady, do forgive me. It was not my intention to attack your character."

"That is quite alright. I was rather a terror when I was young," Charlotte replied, thinking of her sister.

They soon arrived at the estate where they settled in for the evening. The duke went to his study, Charlotte to hers, and her father could be found in the library. She and her father had settled in very well with the duke. They had settled into a rhythm of their own.

While Charlotte waited for her nanny to arrive, she found herself missing the duke and going to find him every day. Often she would just be thinking of him, only to discover he was on his way to her. On other occasions she would go in search of him. He was happy to see her and she did not once feel as though her presence was not wanted.

They had relaxed meals together and found their conversation to flow more easily as time went by. The duke had invited Charlotte to lunch by the nearby river the next day. She joined him just as he had caught a fish.

"Well done, Your Grace," Charlotte exclaimed. The duke carefully brought the fish to him and held it still while he gingerly removed the hook. He then called a man servant to place it back into the water. He watched to make certain his instruction was followed with care. Charlotte had grown up with hunting and fishing, yet, had not seen any person ever care that much about one fish.

"I apologize that you had to witness that, My Lady."

"It does not bother me, Your Grace. Especially when great care was taken of the animal," Charlotte replied, and made her way to him.

"One must respect your hunt. Then there was also a time when one fish meant one more day," the duke said, referring to times of war where the lack of food took many lives.

"It was a time many would soon want to forget," Charlotte replied.

A man servant hastily came to them. "Your Grace. The carriage is here with Miss McCain."

"Splendid! Take her to the patio for tea," the duke said. The man raced off to follow his instruction as they made their way back to the estate.

"Nanny, it is so very good to see you," Charlotte said once they had made their way to her. The patio had sunlight any time of the day. The overhead canopy helped keep one comfortable while seated there. The servants had quickly prepared hot water for tea as well as an array of eats.

"I have missed you too, dear. I have come to make sure my duties are complete," she replied.

"Are you to retire, Nanny?" Charlotte asked, finding that she had missed her.

"I am afraid so. You are to be a married woman with the need to hire your own nanny." She replied with uncharacteristic humor.

"Why not you?" Charlotte asked with hope.

"I would if I could. I am of the age where I shall live out my days as I wish," her nanny said with a rare amount of sympathy.

"If you are certain, then I wish you well, Nanny." Charlotte said as she cheered up.

"Thank you. Now you must tell me how things have gone here," her nanny said, as she stirred sugar into her tea.

"Quite well. The duke is a very kind and hospitable man," Charlotte said truthfully.

"I am glad to hear it. Just do be careful. Those with money often suffer under delusion," she said with a frown.

"I have met some of the duke's family and even his friends. They have all been very kind to me, Nanny." Charlotte pointed out.

"They might appear that way. However, your recent outburst to Lister the other night has spread far and wide." She replied in a conspiring voice.

"I had to say something, Nanny. They were disrespectful." Charlotte defended her actions.

"Be that as it may, child. You must take care of your standing and reputation," she said in an annoyed tone.

Charlotte nodded in agreement. She did not have the strength to argue her point.

"How was your travel here?" Charlotte promptly changed the subject matter.

"It was quite alright."

"Then why do you frown so, Nanny?" Charlotte asked.

"You know me all too well, child. There were just some wolves that seemed to hunt too close to the trail. Wild animals do not enjoy being in our company," she said in a worried voice.

"It was the same when I traveled here as well. The carriage stopped, and I looked from the window. Nanny, the sight before me was terrible indeed. Do you really think a wolf could have done that?" Charlotte said in a hushed voice.

"Whatever monster it is, I shall hope they catch it soon or I shall live my retirement out with you after all," her nanny said, trying to make light of the encounter. If only her eyes didn't shine brightly with fear.

"I would like to show you the estate after tea," Charlotte said just as tea was served. They both made their way to a smaller table stacked with cakes of all sorts. There seemed to be every sort of cake and bread available to man. Bowls stood to the side and were filled with jams and pickled meats, cheeses and sauce.

"Perhaps in the morning, dear," her nanny said as she asked to be served. The servant carefully plated her chosen treats and placed them on the table for her. The same was done for Charlotte.

The duke joined them for a short while, doing his duty as host and giving Charlotte the opportunity to spend time with her nanny one last time. Charlotte had appreciated how the duke had seemed equally elated as she was to see her nanny. He seemed to share in her every joy and thus increased it.

I am grateful I was sent here and not my sister. The duke is a lovely man. I hope lovely enough to forgive me, Charlotte thought as their eyes met across the table. I have to tell him. The longer I take, the more it will hurt him!

The sun had started its descent when they decided to rest for the evening. Once her nanny had been shown to her quarters to prepare for dinner, Charlotte turned to the duke.

"Your Grace, would it be possible to speak to you in private? Later this evening, of course, Your Grace."

"Is something troubling you, my lady?" The duke said, searching her face.

"I feel the need to have an honest conversation, Your Grace. Not that I have not been honest." Charlotte corrected herself and then took a deep breath. "What I mean to say, Your Grace, is that there is something I feel we should discuss," Charlotte said, and waited for the duke to respond.

"I look forward to seeing you after dinner, My Lady," the duke answered. Since that moment, it felt to Charlotte as though he were nervous that evening. She had not meant to cause him discomfort. Only to confess her feelings and her secret sooner rather than later.

Dinner was an agreeable meal, yet to Charlotte, it felt like punishment. The large clock that peeked out from under the staircase ticked by slower and slower as the evening progressed. By the time Charlotte was summoned to the duke's study, her nerves matched what she imagined his were by now. Her guilt intensified, as if he already knew her confession. Her feet felt heavy as they led her to him.

"Your Grace. Lady Bethany would like to meet with you." A servant went into his study to announce her.

"Your Grace, thank you once again for seeing me," Charlotte said the moment she walked in.

"My Lady before we discuss anything that may be on your mind. I have a matter I need to speak to you about," he replied.

"That is fine, Your Grace. However I feel that there is information that you should be privy to before making any decisions regarding our courtship," Charlotte warned.

"That is, in fact, why I must tell you something first, My Lady," the duke said in a sterner tone. His face was slightly harsher, his eyes pleading.

He just needs to look at me and I am lost. Charlotte thought with dismay. She swallowed the words that had taken her hours to build the courage to have at the tip of her tongue.

"Well, I first need you to understand why it is I would do as I have done." The duke said with difficulty. "After the accident, I was told that I would never walk again." The duke said, pain making his words sound strangled. "I found out then who my true friends were." The duke moved closer to where Charlotte stood. "My Lady, I had to protect my family's legacy and find someone who enjoyed spending time with me. Despite my confinement and lack of attractiveness. I will never hurt you and I will take care of you, because I feel deeply for you," the duke said.

The duke's sudden declaration of his feelings caused Charlotte to feel rather lightheaded.

"Your Grace, I feel quite…" Charlotte admitted with tears welling up in her eyes.

Have you forgotten you lied to this man you say you care for? Charlotte was reminded and wept for a different reason.

"Your Grace…" Charlotte began.

"Do not feel you have to reciprocate my feelings, My Lady."

"I do feel deeply for you as well, Your Grace," she said tearfully.

"Then perhaps it is time to share the real me with you," the duke said with a curious smile.

Suddenly, a loud crack could be heard above their heads. They both looked up at the cause of it. When Charlotte looked up, bits of dust fell into her eyes. She wiped at them as they stung. Hearing an even louder creaking sound from above, Charlotte looked up to see the thick wood from the ceiling crash down towards her. She put her hands up to block it, only to find her arms going around someone's neck!

Charlotte looked up into the duke's eyes.

The duke! He can stand! The shock of the ceiling collapsing paled in comparison to her racing thoughts.

"Your Grace, you… you can stand! Not only stand, you saved me!" Charlotte said with a flurry of emotion. A few minutes ago, he was in a chair and now she found herself in his arms. He held her easily, as though she were a small child instead of a fully grown adult. Charlotte found herself grappling with her feelings. She had so many questions, yet her mind could only focus on him.

She let her head rest on his shoulder and could hear his heartbeat. It was, for her, more intimate than the fact that their bodies were so close together. His strong arms that she had admired held her in his protective embrace.

"Are you hurt, My Lady?" The duke sounded deeply concerned.

"No, no, I am in no pain, Your Grace," Charlotte replied softly.

"Are you certain, My Lady?" He asked again.

"I am quite certain, thank you, Your Grace," Charlotte replied. She was genuinely touched by his concern for her.

"I really did want to tell you, My Lady. I was just about to, when that happened," the duke said, not quite able to look her in the eyes.

"Why? Why lie about something like this, Your Grace?" Charlotte asked, bemused.

"It was not my intention at first." He began and then led her to another room. "Never know if more of it feels like coming down." He placed her gently on a chair and knelt in front of her.

"When the accident happened. It changed my life so much that at first I did not even want to try to recover. You see, the woman I was to marry had left and my father had just passed, leaving me with all his responsibilities." As the duke started to explain, Charlotte reached for his hand. He spoke in a way that made it clear that this was difficult for him to talk about. She felt a need to soothe his distress.

"Please go on, Your Grace," Charlotte said reassuringly.

"I realized that what had happened to me was now my greatest asset. It helped me see who was truly by my side and who was not. That unfortunately extended to my family members as well."

"That must have been awful, Your Grace," Charlotte replied. She knew what it felt like to have those who you thought were on your side abandon you.

"It was less than ideal, to say the least." He tried to make light of it. "By the time I had learned to walk again. I did not want to anymore. The people who I would have wanted to celebrate with had left. I remained as I was and swore that I would only have people around me who accepted how I was. Only then would I know I could trust them." He shrugged, not sure what to say next.

"And you feel you could tell me, Your Grace. What did I do to earn such trust?" She asked.

"The way you treat me and those around you, for one. Being who you are," he replied.

Being who you are. The words echoed in her mind. Tell him! He trusted you. It is time you trust him!

"Your Grace. There is something I have too kept secret. It, too, was not created out of malice," Charlotte began, though he had just shared his secret with her, it did not mean he would take hers lightly.

"What is it, My Lady? Surely, after being so understanding, you do not expect me to be unreasonable?" the duke said, looking confused."

"Please do not be angry at my father and I. It was more to settle things at home with my stepmother than to be deceitful. You see, Your Grace." Charlotte struggled to get the words out despite his encouraging words. "I am not who you were expecting." Charlotte blurted out the last part and waited for him to react.

"Well, you are rather different from what I remember. It is a pleasant surprise," the duke answered.

"That is not exactly…" Charlotte tried to interject.

"I am deeply fond of you, My Lady, and you far exceed what I had expected."

Charlotte looked at him and could not find it in herself to tell him what she had actually meant. She felt elated that he could walk, yet in truth, it had not changed how she felt about him. Her fondness did not increase or decrease. She was just happy for him.

Then it dawned on her that she had been a coward. She had just been offered the opportunity to tell him the truth, and she could not.

He will probably be even angrier when the time comes that I do tell him, she thought, knowing her problem had just gotten worse.