Chapter 11

Seren

Literally ten minutes before she was set to leave her house on Sunday afternoon, Seren received a text from Rome.

The Devil Himself: Your services will not be required today with Waverly. Something came up and we are otherwise engaged.

It was so like him to stand her up in such an abrupt, brusque manner. Why couldn't he just do things the way normal people did them? Had he ever experienced any regular emotions? As usual, he was content to play with her, toying with her emotions, her body, and now her time. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. He shouldn't get to have that kind of power. She detested it, as per usual, but something darker swirled in the pit of her stomach.

Am I seriously butthurt over not being able to go? Rome's jerkiness was clearly catching. What she was not catching was feelings . Nope.

It was more complicated than that. She could give herself a pass because of Waverly. She hadn't seen the little girl since she'd left Brooke's cottage.

Me: Fine. No problem.

Honesty probably was the best policy. Rome could take it. She didn't always have to be so nice.

Me: Actually, it is a bit of a problem. You could have given me more notice.

Me: Is Waverly okay?

Me: Are you both okay?

Me: Only epic jerks ghost like this.

Me: It's been forty-five minutes. I'm heading into work and I'm turning off my phone. I trust that if something serious happened, you would have informed me.

Me: You're a jerk for making me worry.

Seren stared at her screen, waiting for signs of life, but when there was nothing, she shrugged and put it on silent mode—but changed her mind and switched it to vibrate, just in case something serious had happened and he wasn't being an asshole. Then she threw it in her purse, grabbed her keys and left.

Sundays and Mondays the shop was closed. That was why Rome picked those days to torture her. Not that Waverly was torture. It was just his presence around the periphery that made it unenjoyable.

What came up last minute? Family stuff? Something with Waverly? Rome just playing games? He was so cruel and out of touch with sheer basic goodness or common courtesy that it could just be him being a total tool bag.

Her condo wasn't far from the small shop. She avoided thinking about the Prince of Freaking Darkness until she unlocked the door and let herself in. She relocked it and only flipped on the light in her own room, so that no one from the outside could tell there were signs of life inside. She wasn't in the mood to answer people banging on the door. Weird as it was, it happened.

The fact that she used to find that weird, people trying to get a tattoo when the shop was clearly closed just because someone happened to be catching up on drawing or tidying up or cleaning inside, spoke to just how much her life had changed in the past month.

Her workspace was well lit even without windows. A few of the rooms had them, but she'd taken the worst space for herself. As owner, she felt that was her job. She'd splurged on good lighting all around, but especially in the rooms without natural light. This way, when she was working, she didn't have to wear a head lamp. She did have a few lamps with moving arms that she could bring close for very detailed work if she needed them, but she rarely used them either. Becka had a vintage barber's chair in her room and a fold-up massage style table for clients who needed to lie down for work, but she'd invested in an expensive table. The thing was so large that while it did technically fold down, she never put it away.

There was an antique wooden library style desk in one corner of the room with an adjustable office chair. Many artists solely used tablets to make digital art, but she'd always been so old school, preferring real pencils, pencil crayons, and markers. A huge stack of sketchbooks took up most of the desk space. On the far wall, she had two wardrobe style cabinets. One had her supplies for tattooing and the other contained drawing and artwork materials.

Seren was still behind and could have called in a client for the afternoon. There wasn't much point in being at work without making up some of her lost hours, but she reasoned that she'd have the whole next day. She'd spend a few hours in the afternoon trying to get two or three clients lined up, or get one larger project in. It would be short notice, and Sunday would have been easier, but after Rome cancelling on her, she found it hard to even think about tattooing.

Damn it, she'd been so excited to see Waverly. She'd equally prepared herself to endure Rome's presence, keeping him in the background. After the way he'd tricked her the last time they'd seen each other, he deserved nothing less than to be static noise.

Just keep telling yourself that's all he is. As if you haven't felt messed up all week.

Messed up in body, but in other ways too.

Other ways she tried to forget, by plunging herself into artwork. She got out a set of pencils and started filling pages in her sketchbook. Most of her artwork wasn't art for the sake of it. It was work, because when you drew for a living, it became less about pleasure and more about constantly keeping pace. Even the things she sketched out, all the ideas that had been banging around in her head for days, would probably all end up leaving that private page and being reworked and transformed into tattoos for clients eventually.

The harder she pushed herself to stop thinking about a certain blackhearted beast, the more her mind refused to set him aside.

What truly made him the way he was? She had some pieces, but they didn't give her a whole picture. More like jagged ideas that fit into a rough mash of a mess.

Did Rome ever wish he could be the way other people were? If he was interested in her, why not just ask her out? She would have turned him down because she didn't date clients, but still.

Why the rules about not touching? Was he afraid that if he got too close, he'd get burned? Why play with fire if you didn't want to go up in flames and end up burned down to the ground?

She had one last card left to play and it was about that. Even if it meant that her traitor body would have to get close and it would have to feel, it might mean making Rome feel something as well. That would be her way of fighting back, her evil triumph, her refusal to let him break her. She couldn't come up with anything else that would push him to the brink. Give him what most people craved. Touch, nearness, emotion. He wasn't like regular people. He'd hate it.

"Damn it." She threw her pencil down and smashed her hands to her face. She ran them down her cheeks in agitation and left them at her neck. She groaned.

It wasn't in her nature to want to hurt another person. She was no good at revenge plans. It made her sad to think about Rome being so far from normal. It made her sad to think that he might wish he was or might have wished at one time, and that just made her feel extra sad in a pathetic way for being sad and pathetic at all.

Ugh. What was it about him that tangled her up until she couldn't think straight?

Seren bent over again and doubled down on her efforts to do the one thing that had always taken her out of herself. She managed to work solidly for the next few hours and push everything else out of her headspace.

She'd totally forgotten that she'd put her phone on vibrate until it started buzzing in her bag, which was down at her feet. An immediate stab of guilt hit her hard when she saw Becka's name on the screen. For the past couple of weeks, she'd been avoiding her bestie. At work she tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, but Becka knew her well enough that she wasn't buying it.

"You've been totally MIA lately," Becka said after Seren answered, although it wasn't accusatory. "My vampire senses are going haywire. Is something going on? Are you seeing a secret someone?"

"Oh my god. The vampire senses. Sigh."

"The fact that you said the word sigh tells me that I'm right. Are they hot?"

Seren winced.

"Are they freaky?"

Her jaw locked so hard she had to pretty much pry out her response. "There's no one."

"Ooh, are they paranormal? Are they a shifter? Vampire? You still haven't told me why you had to go out of town. Did they whisk you away? Was it a secret surprise and one so good that you had to bail on work, which is your number one thing not to do? You have to have a secret lover. Come on. I'm your bestie. Confess."

Seren hadn't told anyone about the insurance mess. Of course, they all knew about the malpractice suit, but she'd assured them the insurance company was going to pay, and after going over and over it to ensure everyone knew that this wasn't in any way their fault, that was the end of it. They'd had a year while it was going on to gather evidence, ensure that they hadn't been at fault, up their strict policies and cleaning procedures anyway, and by the time the verdict came down, it was incredibly disappointing, but they'd all been ready to move on, especially Andre.

"I'm at the shop. I'm doing some drawings, trying to catch up."

"That doesn't answer anything!" Becka sighed with disappointment.

As far as Seren knew, vampire mind tricks were just a myth, but her best friend was pretty intuitive. She'd have to come up with something, anything, to satisfy her. She hated lying, but it was becoming easier and easier. She was trying to do something good, so why was she starting to think that she was turning into an exceptionally shitty person?

"That's boring," Becka went on. "I'll come and join you."

"No," Seren said in a rush. She needed more time if she was going to come up with something convincing. "It's your day off and I'm almost done. This chair is killing my back. What about dinner?"

There were so many other days off she wasn't going to be able to hang out with Becka. If she did, she'd have to pick the time and location carefully. Sundays were better, but after her time with Rome on Mondays, she wouldn't be fit company for anyone. She'd been avoiding her parents too. They would start freaking out if she didn't put in some time with them soon.

She'd have to get over herself if she wanted to maintain the lie and keep her deal with Rome a secret.

"Yeah, sure. I'd love that. Where did you want to go?"

"For subs? We haven't done that in forever."

There was a great sandwich shop downtown, the mom-and-pop style. Nothing could beat it. Technically, it was Adrian who discovered it, but she'd got it in the divorce. He'd kept most of their shared friends, though, the house and the car, and pretty much everything they'd accumulated over the years, so there was that.

"Yes! Oh my god, so much yes."

Her phone beeped in her ear. She fully expected it to be her parents, since she was just thinking about them. She froze, a cold chill rolling over her like a stormfront when she saw Rome's name.

"Sorry, Becks, I have someone calling me. Want me to come for you around six? We could eat them in the park."

"It's a hot date. Not as hot as your secret lover, but I have plenty of time to get that out of you. I'm infinitely patient. Vampire style. It'll happen soon enough, but if you don't want to talk about it tonight, that's fair. Just subs and a nice evening."

"You're the best. Thank you."

"Love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

Her finger hovered over the end call and accept button. She felt sick to her stomach. If she wanted any peace, she had to pick up. Maybe he wasn't playing games. Maybe he truly needed her again. Maybe it was Waverly. Maybe he was going to tell her that he didn't need her Monday either and she got a second pass.

Maybe he was going to say that he was disappointed he didn't get to see her, and he'd been thinking about her nonstop since Monday. He was going nuts and he doesn't like it. He'd never lost himself that way. He was totally under her spell. He wanted to fuck her six ways to Sunday, only on Monday. He'd tear up the contract and treat her the way she deserved to be treated, which was to have the world at her feet.

She laughed sharply before she answered, but she had herself under control when she heard Rome's breathing.

"I'm outside. Let me in."

Wow. Yeah. The nasty girl fantasies she'd unfortunately developed for this man were just that. Make believe. Her pussy was starting to lay down the law, which was pathetic.

It didn't stop her from feeling like she was going to tear out of her body at Rome's proximity. "How do you know I'm here? Are you tracking me?" She wasn't supposed to like that, so she was sure to sound like she didn't. "It's official. You're one hundred percent stalker. Congrats."

"Your car is out front. I tried here after you weren't at your condo."

He had her address from the contract. She'd had to fill it in. "Why not just call?" Like a normal person was implied, but she didn't say it. Rome wasn't a normal person.

"Are you going to let me in?"

A weird stinging sensation bloomed between her shoulder blades. It wasn't pain from being bent over her desk for so many hours. "Not a chance."

"Seren. Open the door."

He tried to go for threatening, but she heard the desperate undertone. There was something wrong, but it wasn't another I've crashed my bike and my wolf is going to erupt out of my skin or a there's something wrong with Waverly situation. He sounded too agitated for that.

"No," she croaked, voice cracking along with her resolve.

"Can we just pretend for a minute that I'm a normal person?"

Resolve strengthened.

A normal person? He had to be fucking kidding. "You're an asshole, Rome. You're not a normal person. You're a wolf and a blackmailer and you're also kind of my sex boss, so it's just not going to happen."

"I'm not a blackmailer." That's what he was offended about?

She grasped a strand of her hair and twisted her finger into it. When she leaned back into her chair, her hair was no longer a cloak around her face. "So what do you call making someone do something with threats if they don't? Okay, arch manipulator, whatever…"

"I feel… funny. Something's happening to me."

There. That edge. She wasn't imagining it. She held the phone away for a second so he couldn't hear her heavy breathing. She shut her eyes and raked her composure back into place.

"Chances are you've been poisoned. Better get yourself to the emergency room, but this time, decline the morphine."

"This is hard for me. I'm here, aren't I?"

She said nothing, so stunned at hearing the desperation in his tone. He'd said that out loud. Given her that confession. He was standing just outside. Why? He was far from broken. He was never going to change. There was incredible hostility and darkness in those words. What did he think? That he could be a little bit uncomfortable and let her know it and she'd just forgive everything that happened? That she'd make it easy on him?

"To my great displeasure," she drawled like she was bored.

"If you're not going to let me in, at least come up front so I can see you when I talk to you."

That was the last thing she was going to let him do. It was safer back here, where he couldn't see her face and all the emotions she'd never be able to keep off of it. She couldn't see his either and she could be reading this totally wrong, but even looking at him was no guarantee she'd ever be able to figure him out.

"No dice. You don't get to command me today."

"Today is my day."

"Not since you let me off the hook. And anyway, it's Waverly's day. Is she with you?" Of course she wasn't, but she had to goad him anyway.

"With my sister. She and her mate showed up."

"Which one? You only have two mated sisters."

"Jesus," he hissed in exasperation. "You know all my family now?"

"I have a very good memory. It's either Briar May and Castor or it's Prairie Rose and Agnar."

"Briar May and the barely passable male that will never be good enough for her."

Okay, then. Wow. Waverly's prospects were clearly terrible when she grew up. No one would be good enough for Rome. That was maddeningly heartwarming. Rome didn't fit the dad mold, but he was still protective of Waverly. In his own way, he loved her, even if he didn't understand what the word meant.

"Why are you here instead of with your family? They probably don't get a chance to visit often."

"I don't… know," he barked.

She should go up front. She needed a front row seat to the show of him finally losing it a little. That's what was happening, wasn't it? She didn't truly know. She was confused.

She heard him take a deep breath like regular people did in order to steady themselves. She found herself leaning closer to the edge of her seat. She dug her feet into her boots, curling her toes to keep them locked to the floor. She was not going to get up. She was not going to the front.

"Describe it to me. Out of the two of us, I'm far more emotionally intelligent."

"It's… I can't focus. I've been off all week." Not just confused. Men like Rome didn't have fears. They conquered all of them. They were the things people were scared of. Was it even possible that he was worried? Afraid? Of her? "I nearly dropped a car on myself. Twice. It's pretty much impossible to do that. I don't make mistakes. Ever. I don't—there's—I'm not sleeping. I'm not hungry. Shifters don't get sick often, but this feels like something in my blood."

That explained a lot.

This wasn't Rome changing. It wasn't him coming to repent for all the evil he'd done, the way he'd tortured her, frightened her with his blackness, for the way he made her crave him,

which was the worst thing he could ever have done.

"Oh. That's easy. It's called desire. What did you expect when you watched me get myself off? Did you think you wouldn't feel anything? That you wouldn't get some level of invested? You want the real thing."

She let the cold, stark implication hang there in the air, enjoying being the one in control for once. When she'd gone to pick him up from the hospital, he was so wounded that she couldn't derive any satisfaction from him having to depend on her.

"You're wrong. It's something shifter related. It's the wolf. It's not used to being locked away for so long. It's caged inside my body. It's like going to war with myself."

She rolled her eyes. Keep on believing that. "Then go back to Brooke and get her to help you. Go run with your family on her land or someone else's. Organize a secret meeting with Casper wolves and find some land and have at it. You have a babysitter, or I can watch Waverly. I can't help you in any other way."

"That's the problem. You can."

She could easily see how that was definitely a problem for both of them, but there was no way she was taking that on.

"When you're around, I feel something that doesn't make sense." He sounded like he was going to burst out of his body in an incident unrelated to his wolf. "I don't know what it is. I don't want to know. I only ever wanted to get close to you to figure out what it was so I could make it stop."

She heard what that honesty cost him, and it bit deep. He was losing it. All of it. He was in some kind of spiral and seeking her out to make his confession was the very bottom.

It should please her, the way he was losing his sanity. He deserved to lose his sanity.

It should feel good, knowing that he was consumed by her, but it frightened her instead. What more could he do to her when he wanted her versus when he didn't. He'd never be the kind of man who allowed himself to have regular, healthy emotions. She didn't want that kind of attention. She didn't want to be this man's obsession.

She needed to make that clear. She needed to stop whatever this was before it went any further. She walked to the front, her footsteps heavy and filled with dread. She went straight to the glass door so she could look Rome right in the face.

She might as well have walked herself straight to a mirror and looked deep into her own eyes. She needed to convince herself that was true as badly as she needed to make him believe her. What did that say about her mental state?

He didn't look wrecked. He looked strong. Put together. Sin wrapped in leather, cotton, and denim. His hair was neat, not an out-of-control birds' nest from him raking his hands through it. He was freshly shaved, dark eyes gleaming like the moon had suddenly eclipsed the sun. He was so big and so real, and she was appalled at her need to open the door and touch him. Somewhere. Anywhere. She wanted to know if it was real, his sudden one eighty. Was this just another trick or was he truly haunted?

How had she done this to him?

Looking at his fierceness, his strength, the way he was broader than the fucking entire doorway, no one would ever know he'd been so badly hurt just a few weeks ago.

"I'm sorry," she choked into the phone. She was still holding it in wooden fingers. She'd almost forgotten, since it was so long since she'd said anything.

She was torn, and that was all wrong. There was nothing that should pull her towards this man. He wasn't the least bit decent. His humanity was entirely in question. His darkness would consume both of them.

"Please, just go back to your family."

He stared back at her, unblinking. She couldn't smell him through the glass. It was midafternoon, but he'd smell like the darkest dark of night. "I don't want to do that."

"I'm not letting you in."

"I'll break the door down." His hand shot to the knob. He looked ready to push it in. To fit his shoulder to the door and shatter the frame. To kick it down with one strong blow. To shift into his wolf and let the madness loose, jumping through it to obliterate it entirely.

"You will not. Get your shit together, Rome. This side of you makes the controlling asshole side look appealing, and that's really saying something."

For once, he didn't give her a nasty comeback about how much her body liked to be told what to do.

"I have a dinner I have to go to. My friends are starting to wonder what's happened to me. They never see me, and they know what strain I've been under. I don't want them to know about the money and what I've done for it. I just want them to have this place and be safe. I was enjoying drawing on an unexpectedly free day, taking a few hours just for me, which is something I haven't done in a very long time. If you have any decency, go back home and enjoy your sister and her barely good enough for her mate, who seems like a great guy. What did you tell them anyway? That you forgot something at the office?"

"Briar May is pregnant. Already. She just was pregnant. She was craving mint chocolate ice cream. I volunteered to go out and get some."

She took a step back, eager to retreat, eager to get this conversation over with. "They'll think the entire city is sold out. They'll be worried you've gotten yourself lost and decided to eat the whole tub as a last resort to ward off starvation. They'll think you got caught in an unexpected time warp portal and ended up in another dimension. What's the real reason you didn't want me over there today? Were you afraid they'd learn the truth? Were you afraid there would be repercussions for what you're doing?"

"No."

"Seriously? You think you're the only one above them?"

"In this situation, yes."

"Your arrogance truly knows no bounds."

"Seren. Please." His hand fisted. He didn't find any of it amusing.

She battled against the heady rush of power that swept through her, but at the same time, she felt her stomach twist and sink. Power was a mean thing too. It had an edge she'd never enjoyed. Bullying was gross. He lifted his hand, curled it into a fist like he'd punch through the glass and twist the knob with bloodied knuckles to get at her that way, but at the last second his fingers unfolded and he placed his palm flat against it. When he lifted it away, she saw that it was clammy. The faintest mark remained.

She hated it when people left their fingerprints all over the door. Glass was a bad choice. She'd regretted it ever since replacing the old door because it stuck, and people thought it was locked and they were closed when they were supposed to be open.

"Goodbye, Rome." She turned, ready to hang up.

"Wait."

It wasn't a request, and so she did, stopping dead. Men like Rome didn't ask people to wait. They didn't ask , period.

"What would it take to make you open this door?"

"More than you have."

"I doubt that. I'm a rich man."

"That's the problem. You can't buy everything with money. We might have a deal, but you don't own me. You own my time for a brief period each week. There's a difference." She felt him keenly through the glass at her back. She shouldn't have given him her unguarded flank. She didn't trust him. "Cancel the contract. Tear it up."

"I can't do that."

"Sorry, then. This door stays locked." As does the rest of me.

"Come tomorrow. To… my house. With my sister and Castor and Waverly." He'd used Castor's name. At least that was an improvement. "Instead of to the garage."

"I'm still not going to open this door." Her heart and body were both in line with being equally traitorous. She hated that she was at the mercy of her emotions and that when it came to Rome, they were all over the place.

"Fair enough. Will you come tomorrow?"

She wanted to retort that it seemed to be on the agenda for Mondays, but she wasn't going to lower herself to that vulgar level. She should be glad for the reprieve. She should be glad he was here, and if she thought it meant anything at all, she would be. He'd come for instant gratification. Because he was used to getting his way. He wasn't going to tear up the contract. Rome might not be spoiled, but he had expectations of how his life should go and how people should fall into it and fall in line, and that was a far cry from having any sort of relationship. Or interacting on a human level, which was what she needed. The invitation to be with his family might be a start, but it was only that. Baby steps.

"I don't know. Am I required to?"

He seemed to sense just how much hinged on his answer. "No. You're not required to."

"Alright. I'll think about it and let you know tomorrow morning by text. Is that fair?"

He managed not to huff at her back. "Yes." It sounded like it came through gritted teeth. "What am I supposed to do tonight? Right now?"

What the rest of us do. Deal with it. Get on with it. Rome knew that life was hard. Something terrible happened to him. He'd killed because of it. He'd been banished over it. She didn't know the full story. She hurt for him over it and for the parts of him that never could behave like the world demanded. Did that give him the right to make her a sex slave? No. He needed to know that. She wasn't just going to open the door and let her body make the rest of the decisions. That would be a mistake, given how she reacted in his presence.

"Go back home and be with your family. Enjoy your time with them. You don't need me to tell you how fleeting it can be and how precious life is. Or did you mean on a broader philosophical scale, because if you did, you need to get some books or take a course to help you with that. Be

kinder isn't exactly something I have time to elaborate on at the moment."

"I'll leave if you promise to come tomorrow."

"You'll leave anyway with no such promise. Good night."

It would be foolish to let him get away with a second more bad behavior than she was already forced to tolerate. The problem was that she was too nice. She wanted to save every stray and make the world a better place. She had one of those bleeding souls.

Rome wore his pain like he wore his darkness. She knew she couldn't save him, but she still wanted to try, and that was the stupidest thing ever. She couldn't save him with her pussy, which was what she really wanted to do, so the night had to come to an abrupt end.

She walked back to her room and flipped open her security app. There were cameras at the front and back doors as well as in the reception area and one in every room. They were always on, even when the place was closed.

Seren didn't take a full breath until Rome turned and walked down the sidewalk, his powerful leather-clad form eventually disappearing from the camera's view.