Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

C hantel

Family.

It had been important to me even if I'd grown up rather unconventionally. I'd had so many things in my life, able to attend the best schools and never knowing hunger.

I'd really never thought about having a family of my own more than in fleeting thoughts. Why would I? I knew most men in the normal sectors of life couldn't tolerate my family heritage and any concept of becoming involved with a man in the same business had turned my stomach.

Now there was Nikolay.

Bold.

Powerful.

Take no shit.

Sexy.

God help me.

I still felt the effects of the hard spanking, although he certainly hadn't been brutal in his method. Still, it was a clear reminder that danger existed all around us.

Hell, I should know that by what had just occurred. I didn't want to think about it, enjoying spending time with Damien.

I knew I'd made bold comments about his autism but given we'd enjoyed lunch together—my favorite and his, PB&Js—and he'd been talkative, more engaging than most adults, I kept my doubts.

The fact he'd asked specifically if I'd read him his two favorite books right after we'd worked on some artistic paintings had confirmed it in my mind. I hadn't pushed Damien in any way, but I could see sadness in his eyes. Oddly enough, the haunted look was similar to one I'd seen in his father more than once.

I was curled next to him on his bed, feeling far too relaxed. I finished the second story and looked down. It would seem I'd exhausted him.

Very carefully, I eased from the bed, tucking the covers around him. The thought of his own mother just leaving him on a doorstep pissed me off more than most things had in my life. I just couldn't imagine doing that to any kid. She obviously had her reasons but if I ever saw her, I would make certain she knew exactly how I felt about her actions.

I kept the door partially open after making certain the little communications system installed in his room worked. I'd seen other devices throughout the house, which would allow me to hear if he had any issues, including nightmares.

As I walked downstairs, I wondered what Nikolay had done to the man following me. I could only imagine the guy was swimming with the fishies.

The expression made me laugh. I really had to stop watching bad television shows.

The housekeeper had introduced herself but also made herself scarce, simply taking a couple of hours to clean before leaving. I wasn't entirely certain what was so dirty, but she'd vacuumed and touched up the bathrooms. That much I'd caught.

I was surprised to see it was after three, although he hadn't left until ten-thirty or so. I felt almost awkward being inside Nikolay's house without him, but it also felt almost like home.

How was that even possible?

A glass of wine sounded delicious at this point. Fortunately, I found a lovely bottle of merlot that had obviously been opened recently and easily located wineglasses in one of the cabinets. At least his kitchen was typical of anyone running a household, with all the traditional appliances, dishes, pots and pans.

With my wine poured, I decided to venture around the house, seeing what delicious secrets I could discover about the powerful man. I almost giggled at the thought. As if the man kept them lying out in the open.

The wine was delicious, and the afternoon still warm. I stood staring at the beach for a few minutes, wondering what it would be like to stick my toes in.

Maybe later.

I didn't want to be far from the house in case Damien woke up.

I honestly knew little about the area other than it was packed with Russian people, originally immigrants who'd settled here, hoping for a better life. What little I'd seen showed me nothing. Sighing, I took my wine into other rooms, glancing at various art pieces and the movie collection Nikolay had, which was mostly kid's movies. That made me smile.

When I walked by his open office door, I stopped short. I hadn't been told I couldn't go inside but this was obviously his private space, another work area when he was away from whatever posh office he had to be a part of.

I couldn't keep myself from walking inside. Everything smelled like him. His aftershave. His testosterone. The man himself.

Powerful and the type who refused to take no for an answer.

While I'd seen only a few actual photographs in other rooms, one on his son's nightstand of his mother, there were a few located on the shelves of one of several bookcases. They were mostly taken recently, which included pictures of Damien. The kid was rarely smiling, which was so sad to me.

I thought he'd smiled more for me in a few hours than he had in a little while. Maybe I'd been deemed trustworthy.

My curiosity about the man given I hadn't seen or talked to him in years was strong, so much so I found myself touching the various pictures. There was one of him accepting an award somewhere, two men flanking his side.

And there was a single photograph from when he was much younger, standing on a beach with several young men, a football in his hand. I don't know why in my mind he'd never been allowed to live a normal life. That was crazy.

I noticed a diploma on the wall and headed toward it. He'd actually gotten a degree in criminal justice from Columbia but had a master's in business administration. Well, I guess he'd covered all the bases.

I was touching the diplomas when I felt a presence behind me. I stiffened as I turned around, catching an amused look on Nikolay's face.

"Yes, I'm an educated man," he said as he walked in, taking calculated steps. It was interesting how he never blinked, his eyes remaining locked on mine.

"I never asked you that before when I was… younger."

"No. I'm certain it wasn't something on your mind when you were six or eight." He grinned, noticing the wine in my hand.

There was no reason for me to blush, but I couldn't seem to help myself around him. He just had that effect on me.

"I'm glad you made yourself at home," he said as he closed the distance to the bar, forced to brush past me.

I knew he'd done so on purpose, which left me full of tingles.

"Damien is asleep. He did some incredible artwork today. He's quite talented."

He chuckled and poured himself a scotch. "I certainly can't say he takes after me at all. Did he eat lunch?"

"Every little bite."

"No tantrums?"

"Not a one."

He studied me for a few seconds as if debating something. "We need to talk."

"I expected so."

"I know you hoped to start a career in advertising but that just can't happen for a little while. I was wondering if you'd consider taking the nanny position. Last minute, I know, but I'm in need of someone I can trust and someone he can tolerate. You make him happy. I mean you're very good with him. He seems to adore you and I think you'll be good for him."

The trust he was providing made my heart sing.

"Yes, a resounding yes." I couldn't help myself, bounding toward him and wrapping an arm around his neck. The closeness was amazing, the feel of his heated body one of the most pleasurable things I'd felt in a long time.

Then there was the issue of his very hard cock pressing into my stomach. I had butterflies in my stomach, trying to keep from feeling the erotic sensations that seemed to plague both of us. It felt as if I was failing miserably, the longing for him expanding to the point I was breathless.

He hugged me at first then stiffened, even pushing me away a few seconds later. However, our lips were barely two inches apart.

I could tell I'd involuntarily licked mine, my mouth suddenly dry.

It was one of those awkward moments where I was certain he was going to kiss me. And God, I wanted him to almost more than anything in the world.

But Nikolay seemed to come to his senses, pushing me away gently but firmly. He even sidestepped me, moving toward the set of French doors, staring out at the backyard.

The tension was crazy, but I had no clue what to say to him.

He shoved one hand into his pocket, taking several gulps of his scotch. I tried to hide behind my wineglass, attempting to figure out what was best to say if anything.

"I'll give you a very good salary that should help you in the future when this is all over with. And I assure you that you won't be required to be my prisoner for the rest of your life. We'll get to the bottom of why some asshole hired a fucking college kid to play stalker. But in the meantime, this house right now is your sanctuary. It's also my son's. He is the most important person in my life and that's just the way it is, Chantel."

"I understand."

"Do you?" He cocked his head slightly.

"Absolutely. I adore him."

"Good. Now, we will attempt to leave the house at various points. Maybe he can finally enjoy having pizza or ice cream without causing issues for the businesses, but not right now. You're still in danger and I don't want you to forget that."

"I won't."

"Which means Damien's life could also be in danger and that's unacceptable."

I found myself gravitating toward him again. I could tell he was purposely shutting me down. I couldn't stand it. We had something, something electric and amazing. I knew it was wrong. I thoroughly understood if my father found out, he'd be very angry, but I was close to the point of not caring. When I dared place my hand on his shoulder, he exhaled in a way that told me he was displeased, once again glancing over his shoulder at what I was doing.

It was such an awkward moment I felt sick inside, not excited.

Although the burning desire still remained.

He finally turned to face me so abruptly, I was forced to take a giant step backwards.

The expression on his face was disturbing, as if he couldn't decide whether to be angry, annoyed, or simply accept the same need for me I'd felt for him.

"Now, you're going to listen to me," he said in a gruffer voice than I heard the night before. "This is no fantasy, no situation where anything good can come of the twisted feelings we share. You're Vissarian's child. You sat on my knee more than once while I read to you, likely like you're reading to my son. This can't work."

"I…"

He shook his head. "I'm not finished yet. I admire you. I think you're beautiful. And I'm extremely grateful you've stepped up to the plate for me, something I will never forget. However, this… This can't happen."

"This? You mean the fact we're attracted to each other?" Now I was getting a little miffed.

"Yes," he growled, the sound floating through me like rocket fuel. "I can't protect you if I'm…"

"Fucking me," I filled in. "Well, that sounds distasteful to me."

"Exactly. We don't know what we're dealing with. We have no idea the level of danger, but I can't be in bed with you and keep this house safe. Damn it."

I could tell the decision was pushing him into a place he didn't want to go but it had to me as well. I was furious, more so than I should be given his words weren't anything I hadn't been thinking. "So, I'm just your ward so to speak, someone you need to protect and your employee. Right?"

He had to think about what I was saying. "Yes. That's it. It can't be more. It can't."

I'd be damned if the cords on the side of his neck weren't standing at proud attention.

What did I do instead of acting like an adult? I tossed my wine in his face. "Fine, Nikolay. I'll be your employee and nothing else. You won't hear a fucking peep out of me. Don't worry. I can keep to myself. I'm used to spending a lot of time alone since dear old Daddy was too terrified to let me out of the house for most of my childhood years. Now, you. I guess you really are brothers."

With that, I waited for two seconds to see if he'd say anything, negate the shit I'd just heard.

But he didn't.

Enough tears had formed, which was silly, that they stung my eyes. I fought to keep them exactly where they were, turning on my heel and walking out.

But I couldn't fight the single tear that slipped past my lashes.

Damn him.

Damn the fantasy.

Damn all men. I was finished with the lot of them.

The afternoon passed, turning into time for dinner.

I made something I knew Damien would like, forcing his father to come eat with us. I'd read a book. I'd stayed in my room until Damien had awakened.

We hadn't looked at each other at all, acting as if we were strangers. Fortunately, Damien continued to jabber on, which took up some of the slack.

I was still finishing cleaning up the kitchen when Nikolay walked back in. He'd insisted on putting Damien to bed himself, which I thought had been a good idea.

I couldn't turn around and look at him, wiping the counter aimlessly.

"I think you're right," he finally said. "He's not autistic. He just needs creative outlets."

"I'm glad you think that way," I told him, placing the sponge back into the holder. I took a deep breath and tried to keep from saying anything. All the things I'd wanted to say to him didn't seem important any longer.

When I turned around, the way we looked at each other was so filled with electricity I was floored. But he'd made it very clear he only needed me to help his son.

"I'm going to bed." As I attempted to make a wide berth around him, the prickling I felt was even stronger.

Suddenly, he grabbed my arm, jerking me toward the heat of his body. When he placed his hand on the back of my head, keeping me in place, I was breathless.

"Now, you listen to me. I just…" He couldn't finish the statement, his breathing labored.

"I know. This shouldn't be happening," I whispered, yet the sound was as husky as the night we'd allowed our carnal urges to take control. "We already tempted fate."

"No, it shouldn't."

"We'll burn in hell."

"Maybe but I don't give a damn," he growled, immediately crushing his mouth over mine.

It would seem fantasies could come true more than once.

I tasted wine and spaghetti sauce, leftover scotch and the man who'd captured my attention and I couldn't seem to let it go. As he thrust his tongue inside, I tentatively slid my palms up his chest, marveling in the way his muscles felt.

The kiss was powerful, more so than anything I'd ever experienced. We might be both out of our minds, but at that moment, I could tell it didn't matter in the least.

And I was a happy girl.

Whatever happened, we might be damned and I certainly knew this was nothing but a fantasy, not a game to be played by the faint of heart.

But I didn't care.

We hungered for each other.

Again.

That was all that mattered.

Even if monsters continued to lurk in the darkness…